JCC Stories your relatives love to tell about your when you were little

When I was still young enough that my parents would wipe me after I'd gone to the bathroom, I had to go poo but my parents weren't in the house. My father was outside mowing the lawn. So I did my poo anyway, then proceeded to use the telephone (which required me climbing on top of my parents' bed, brown butt and all) to call my grandfather next door. I asked him to get my Dad so he could come inside the house and wipe my bum.

Apparently I was smart enough to use a telephone but not smart enough to wipe my arse.

 

You might want to let your sister take the credit for that one.

 

I don't remember how old I was,but I just learned to write correctly.I was visiting my grandparents and since my grandmother ran a daycare,she had a lot of toys and my favorite was the little theater for puppet shows.I decided to put on the 'The Three Little Pigs' and I proceeded to write the three little pigs on the dry erase board,but I missed the 'g' in pigs.Everyone was very confused and I was still innocent enough not to realize that I had wrote a naughty word.My sisters still tease me about it.

 

that was me

 

My mom loves telling about how I adamantly refused to wear any dresses or anything "girly" when I was a kid and always makes a big deal now whenever I wear a dress.

 

I never did anything ridiculous as a child, surprisingly enough. My father likes to talk about the time I was escorted from the Georgia Dome for "fighting".

 

Once when I was at the zoo, I announced very loudly that one of the monkeys "looks like Bill Cosby." My mother was absolutely mortified, particularly since there was a large group of black people just down the fence from us, and when she told me to be quiet, I responded with, "Well, he does!" Lil baby racism. Gotta love it.

 

Hey, I was a cute child! You also have to remember, these were Baptists, so something like this was probably pretty easily amusing to them.

 

What, a red-headed devil child disrupting their communion with God?

 

My aunts love to remind me of how absent-minded I was as a toddler. They always laugh about the time I fell head first into a drum half filled with water and one of them had to lift me by the feet. I barely remember the world being upside down and faces peering down from above the water, I was there just a couple seconds.

My aunts are also fond of embarrassing me about how as soon as I learned to read, I would walk into walls while reading a book. I'm sure they will repeat these stories now that I brought my husband along for the Holidays.

 

When I was about 3 or so, I ate some salsa, then leaned over and puked right into my father's pocket.