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Pittsburgh, PA Stormtrooper application

Discussion in 'NorthEast Regional Discussion' started by CernStormrunner, Jan 4, 2010.

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  1. CernStormrunner

    CernStormrunner Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 6, 2000

    Please answer all questions to the best of your ability. At the end of the test, you will be asked to turn in your form to the Imperial Recruitment Officer. You have 30 minutes. Good luck, and long live the Emperor. Cheaters will be vaporized.

    1. What is your height? Weight?
    (If the answers are not "6'1'" and "185 lbs" turn your test in now. One size does not fit all.)

    2. At what range can you hit a barn with a blaster rife?

    a) 100 feet
    b) 75 feet
    c) 25 feet
    d) 2 inches
    e) A good 10 feet if I throw it hard enough

    3. If you were to hear a strange noise while guarding the highest security shield facility of the Empire's command station, you would:

    a) Immediately be come suspicious that a Jedi Knight was attempting to distract you
    b) Become more vigilant
    c) Report it to your commanding officer
    d) Yell, "Is anyone there?"
    e) Turn and look to see what it was but not actually physically move over, then dismiss it as nothing.

    4. What is the proper way to open a blast door sealed by rebels?

    a) Huddle around it and wait for it to open
    b) Bump into it, go the other way
    c) Shoot it, even though the shot will bounce right back at you
    d) Ask the rebels if they'd like fries with that
    e) Go get the manager
    f) Realize it's not your manager, it's your superior officer
    g) All of the above

    5. The best way to chase escaping rebels down a hallway is to:

    a) Run in single file
    b) Run in single file, while firing blindly ahead
    c) Run in single file, while firing blindly ahead and hitting your teammates who are running in the opposite direction
    d) Run in single file, while firing blindly ahead and hitting your teammates who are running in the opposite direction, then falling into a pit because you couldn't see
    e) All of the above

    6. Which of the following statements best discribes you?

    a) I have unswerving, complete allegiance to the Empire, the Emperor and its cause.
    b) I am actually a rebel spy attempting to infiltrate and destroy the Empire from within by becoming a Stormtrooper.
    c) Look buddy, it pays the bills. Gotta problem with that?
    d) I am a moron
    e) All of the above

    7) What is the proper procedure to follow when you installation is under attack by rebels?

    a) Stay calm, look for the nearest exit
    b) Aid other who may not be as well trained to escape
    c) Go to the nearest gaurd station to wait for further orders.
    d) Stumble around blindly, hit your head on a bulkhead, render yourself unconscious.

    8) If you were to force some rebels to flee down a garbage chute, your next course of action would be to:

    a) Jump in after them
    b) Turn trash compactors on, make sure the exits are covered, and wait for their unlikely exit.
    c) Turn trash compactors on, assume they're dead or shortly will be, wander off
    d) Assume they're dead or shortly will be, wander off
    e) What was I doing here again?

    9) You think combat armor should:

    a) Be free and easy to move in
    b) Protect you against enemy attacks
    c) Blend into it's surroundings
    d) Stand out, restrict movement, offer little or no protection, and render the wearer unable to see

    10) In a former life you were:

    a) Boba Fett
    b) Darth Vader
    c) Anakin Skywalker
    d) A bowling pin

    11) Final question: What is the first emotion that pops into your head when you hear the word, "Ewoks"?

    a) Warmth
    b) Disgust
    c) Condescension
    d) Intense blinding fear

    This concludes the test. You will hear back from your local Imperial Recruitment facility in 3-4 standard weeks. Thank you for your application.
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