Stormtrooper/Red-shirt Conundrum

A stormtrooper shoots at a red-shirt(Star Trek)?

Stormtroopers always miss.
Red-shirts always die.

Hmmm.

Conundrum!

 

The blaster explodes in the troopers hands, showering red hot shrapnel over the Red-shirt killing him.

 

I think the trooper misses, but hits a Rancor in the butt and the Rancor thinks it's the red-shirt and then proceeds to eat him. MMMMM

 

I think it's a genetic flaw among red-shirts. Once they hear the blaster fire, all functions cease within their bodies.

 

That could be messy

 

Or the trooper misses but hits a mirrored surface and it bounces back and hits the red-shirt.

You know, it doesn't make any sense because Jango was a great shot. He was blasting Jedi and they couldn't block fast enough. It took Mace to keep up with him.

 

?

 

Okay, for those who don't get this whole thing:

Stormtroopers couldn't hit a Star Destroyer that they were standing in!

The red-shirts (from Star Trek) always get killed. They usually died in the first two minutes.

So if a stormtrooper ALWAYS misses and the red-shirt HAS to die, what happens when a stormtrooper shoots at a red-shirt?

It's the old "irresistable force meets and immovable object" conundrum.

 

So, for instance, if Kenny from South Park were a redshirt, he might not even make it on screen before Kyle yells "Oh my God, they killed Kenny! You bastards!!"

Of course now all I can think about is Cartman as Darth Vader saying "Respect my authoritah!"

 

hehehehe Now, so do I

 

The whole world, our reality, life, the universe, the very fabric of space and time and everything else would be torn asunder by the sane thought of these two titanic intellectual paragons pitting their mere competence against each other like two positives of a magnet! The only proper solution to this illogical philosophical conundrum, then, is to evoke the Japanese concept of the Mu (the either-or), to "unask" the question, so that such a conflagration can never take place, because for the sake of all reality, it simply can't.

 

Ok, JD, now my brain REALLY hurts!

 

How very Ishkur of you JD...

 

Well, YOU try shooting while wearing a helmet that only offers 10% viewability.

They still killed all those lame Rebel troopers on the Tantive IV at the beginning of ANH. It may have taken 8 hours worth of non-stop fighting to do so, tho'.

Although, another possibility is that all the blaster fire turned all the oxygen in the Tantive IV halls into ozone, thus suffocating the Rebel troopers. The Stormtroopers would've been OK since the armor has its own self-contained life support. So maybe...yes...they never did hit anyone.

 

Ahhh, suffocation by blaster bolt ionization. It even rhymes! I like it!

 

viewability, eh?

stacy: I copied and pasted it, lol. I was looking for the quote from the SNL Jeopardy skit where the final Jeopardy question is who would win between Da Bulls and Da Bears (the last guy writes out this really long answer which is "exactly right!")

 

snow troopers wouldnt miss the red shirt . they hates them red shirts !

 

plus the fact that red shirts stand out in the snow like darth hair at a skinhead convention.