Stranger in a Strange Land - Part 7 - Our Time Has Come - UPDATE 5/2 - Chapter 16

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Whiskey in the Jar-Jar, Dec 14, 2002.

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  1. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    Jeez, you write some of the best action sequences I've read (and this includes stuff by "real" authors in "real" books)...but what makes it pack such a punch is the emotional stuff before it. Maybe Triel will see what she's doing to her father, and maybe her father won't be as stubborn as usual.

    Excellent posts, Whiskey! I really enjoyed reading those two. It's good to be back. :)
  2. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    I agree with Jaxx about your action sequences Whiskey. I wish mine were as good. Mine tend to end up like something out of Robin Hood Daffy. You know... Ho, Ha, Perry, Dodge, Spin... You get the picture.

    It's so good to see Ravage in action. I love a good carnage. [face_love]
  3. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
  4. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    what, nobody likes volleyball?
  5. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    Oops! Sorry!

    *volleyball style set*
  6. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
  7. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    *w00t*

    We win a point! Yay! :D

    Um...who are we playing against?
  8. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
    We're playing against the NHL and it's players! They ain't all that great when it's volleyball! :p
  9. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    They're not all that great when it comes to figuring out what's best for them, for their fans, and for hockey in general.

    Let's kick their shiny hineys in volleyball, then.

    *serves*
  10. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    Up!

    I've been busy, alternating between work and SAVING THE FORTRESS ;)

    Hope everyone else is doing well.
  11. Whiskey in the Jar-Jar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 4
    We should have been knee-deep in hockey by now, but all we've got on TV now are cop shows, forensic cop shows, psychic cop shows, and teenage ESP/FBI cop shows.

    Seeing a trend here?

    Just so all you readers/posters/lurkers know, if by some twist of fate the forum move effectively nukes this thread and all others, the first chapters of this story are located at http://members.shaw.ca/witjj. I'm not sure if I'll start reposting this one from the beginning or just carry on...I'll see what happens.

  12. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
    Trend? Hmmmmmmmmmm.........

    I got it: Canada needs more cops! :p

    Nah, I get ya: no hockey! Waitaminute: did the players of Curling go on strike? :eek:

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not them too!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!
  13. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    Canada doesn't need cops...they got freakin' MOUNTIES!
  14. Whiskey in the Jar-Jar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 4
    Ok, so I'm sitting at home last night, watching The Amazing Race (Yeah, I'm a fan, I admit it), and they're talking about the next one starting on March 1.

    I'm thinking this is all right...beats Survivor, IMHO. That is, until I find out that two Survivors are gonna be in this race.

    Yep, Rob and Amber are gonna be in The Amazing Race 7. Is nothing sacred? :(

    What's next? Richard Hatch co-starring on Queer Eye?

    *Sigh* TV's rotting my brain...a few more weeks and I'll start thinking Happy Tree Friends is funny.
  15. Whiskey in the Jar-Jar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 4
    Time...need more so I can write more...


    SNAP-HISSSSSS

    Mazar turned just in time for the amber blade of Triel?s lightsabre to pierce him in the chest, then cut upwards, severing his head in two. Lizar hesitated for only a moment, enough for Ravage to pounce at the Enforcer?s legs. The shoulder tackle/spear move knocked the Invid off balance and the moment he hit the ground the young Jedi?s lightsabre ended the traitor?s life with a stab through the head.

    Dalan stood up just as Triel closed down her weapon. In spite of the muted bond between them, Triel could still feel the wash of emotions coursing through him at that moment. There was a sense of relief, yes, but also a deep pool of anger and hatred boiling within him. She tensed as she saw him turn towards her, expecting that pool of rage to be spilled on her in some way. She?d known her former handlers ? Chagara and his Clan ? could sometimes do things at a feral level when motivated so, and knew during that time that words were useless. She now wondered for the first time in her life if the same thing was true of the tiger standing before her.

    Yet, the moment the two locked gazes, Triel felt the rage fade. All the anger and primal fury she?d felt from him just seemed to evaporate the way an ice crystal would when set upon a hot plate. All she felt from him now was a growing sense of relief that everyone was all right, as well as the sharp sting of regret?regret directed at her for all he?d said. Both of them knew she?d deserved that speech, and what had been said had to be said, but the regret was still there.

    ?Th?there?s a Yammosk out there,? said the young Jedi, snapping both she and the tiger out of their silence. ?I felt it during that scouting mission. It?it must have taken control of these two in order to bring the Vong here.?

    ?It?s feeding on the Flower?? asked Dalan. Triel solemnly nodded. ?Oh, crap,? he muttered.

    ?What is a Yammosk?? asked Shaylear, less afraid than before.

    ?A creature bred to coordinate Vong troops in battle,? replied Triel. ?Even from a distant planet, Vong soldiers are attuned to it. Add the power of the Flower of Life, and this one Yammosk could control all the Vong in the galaxy.?

    ?But how can we stop it?? asked Shaylear. ?If it can take over the minds of our brothers, there is no way to??

    Suddenly, a hellacious explosion rocked the Hive, sending everyone to the ground. Both Azar and Shaylear screamed in agony, as if someone were lancing their brains with hot pokers. Dalan moved over to see what was happening to the tigress, but he couldn?t stop her from convulsing wildly, holding her head in her hands and screaming like a night-terror struck kitten.

    ?MOTHER!? she roared. Dalan immediately looked to Triel.

    ?The Queen,? he said softly. ?She?s been hurt.? In that moment all the tension between the two of them was roughly pushed aside. They worked together to help Shaylear to her feet and half-dragged her with them towards the inner core of the Hive. What little Dalan knew of Vong weaponry told him it would have taken the equivalent of a reflex bomb to pierce the outer shell of this structure and burrow so deeply. Then again, the pasting his ship had taken earlier left little doubt in his mind as to the capabilities of the Yuuzhan Vong.

    The further towards the centre they traveled, the more ominous each impact sounded. The Hive was being rocked to its very core by the onslaught. Dalan did his best not to think of the slaughter that was no doubt happening behind them as they raced towards the Queen?s chambers. If all the Invid had were a handful of Enforcers to protect the Hive, the Vong would overrun them quickly, cutting them to ribbons with their amphistaffs.

    After several minutes, Shaylear was able to continue under her own power. They were nearing the Queen?s chamber and thankfully had met no resistance along the way. The tiger figured the mere proximity of the Invid to their Queen was enough to keep them from being dominated by the Yammosk Triel had describe/>
  16. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    Dude, that post was sort of scary. Now that this figure of immense power is gone, this means that an impressionable Invid will have to lead their forces. It's almost as if in StarCraft, the Overmind died and told Kerrigan to take over. Let's hope in this case, our new Mother doesn't turn into Kerrigan.

    Oh! For some fun, this is your last paragraph, translated...by www.gizoogle.com


    ?Gizzet go'n,? she said . Boo-Yaa!. ?-G-to-tha-izzet outta this place n follow those ships, y?hear?? The tigress nodded slightly n tha Queen pulled Dalan close fo yo bitch ass. Shot Calla she whispered ta him was tha last thing she would ever say, fo' as he rose tha shot calla watched as slowly, tha Queen?s manifestizzles in this virtual world faded F-R-to-tha-izzom vizzle. Gangsta millennia uncountizzles tha length n breadth of tha universe, a saggin' journey was finally at an end.
  17. Whiskey in the Jar-Jar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 4
    Actually, given what what's left of the Invid are up against, a little Kerrigan might be what they need. ;)

    More coming soon. (I hope)
  18. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
    There is always hope! ;)

    And oh yeah...Mounties! I forgot! :p

    But to the post: in the loss of the Invid Queen another takes her place. Apparently we are perhaps seeing the beginnings of a brand new day with Shaylear in control. Perhaps Dalan can show her a better way to use the Invids, if the forces are still available after such a trumatic experience.

    And for at least a few moments Dalan and Triel got along. Geez, already, make up and kick some butt!

    ----------------------------

    You know, ever since I got satillite I've really hadn't watched Amazon Race and Survivor since they begun. I rarely watch regular t.v. anymore except maybe for Football and what's on Fox. I do, when I have the time, watch 'Desperate Housewives': no Whiskey, I'm the pathetic one here. [face_laugh]

    But 'DH' is evil! Oh so evil! The red head on that show.......ah man, there's something about this red head gal that just......(whistles). She's naughty! [face_devil]

    FORZZILE! :p
  19. Whiskey in the Jar-Jar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 4
    Relax, Casper, I watch DH too. Come to think of it, I watch too much TV and not enough 'good' TV.

    Ok, now for the end of the chapter, and yes...I hate myself for writing this...but not nearly as much as I'm gonna hate myself on the next CE chapter.


    The moment the Queen?s form disappeared, everyone?s vision grew clouded. When it returned to normal, they were all standing in the Queen?s chamber once more. However, the luminescence from her body was faded now, leaving the chamber in an eerie darkness?the darkness of a grave.

    Dalan moved to a shaking Shaylear and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face him and her ashen expression said it all to the tiger. Now deprived of the Queen?s presence in her mind, the Invid tigress looked as though a part of her had been forcibly removed with no precision or finesse. Her powder blue eyes seemed lifeless now?bereft of anything but the mere function of existence. Life as a concept was lost to her now.

    ?I?m?sorry,? said the tiger softly. He sensed Triel close by and looked to her. The young Jedi?s eyes said enough and he placed an arm around her. Triel put his head against her chest and wept softly.

    ?All is lost,? said the tigress, her voice hollow. ?Without Mother to guide them, the Invid will fall sway to the Hated Ones. They will then become the very monsters you once spoke of.? She wiped the tears from her eyes. ?There is nothing to stop the Hated Ones now?nothing.?

    ?Your mother said to follow the ships,? said Dalan. ?If there?s a place to which we can escape??

    ?And do what?? interrupted Shaylear. ?Cower in fear until they find us there too? Why run? It will only prolong the inevitable.?

    ?N?no.? Both felines turned to Triel, who was now looking at the pair of them. ?There?s something there?I can feel it.?

    ?What do you mean?? asked Shaylear, agitated.

    ?I mean there?s something there she wanted us?you?to find,? replied the young Jedi. ?Wherever those ships are going to go, we have to follow them if we?re to survive this.?

    Dalan looked at Triel. He could tell from her voice that the Force had made this clear to her. Along the bond they shared he could feel her resolve and knew the end would not happen here for them. No?their true hope lay in someplace known only to a handful of pre-programmed craft, which were now probably just powering up.

    ?We have to leave,? he finally said. Reluctantly, Shaylear agreed and the trio left the chamber without a look back.

    The explosions were sounding more powerful now as they made their way quickly towards the underground hangars. Dalan guessed that the majority of the Hive had been blown open and the Vong were making short work of any surviving Invid. He thought briefly of Azar and the other Enforcers, and wondered if any had escaped the Yammosk?s influence. Of all the Invid, it was they who stood the best chance to overcome any psychic domination, as their brains were more evolved than normal. Sadly, he also knew the Harvesters ? mere Stage 1 Invid ? were totally dependent on the Queen, and would latch onto the Yammosk?s influence like mynocks onto power cables.

    The corridors leading to the hangar were littered with debris and corpses, both of Invid and Vong. This gave the tiger some measure of relief, as he figured some of the Invid were still free of the Yammosk. Most of the Invid casualties were Harvesters, it seemed, though a few Enforcer bodies were scattered about as well. The trio quickened their pace.

    Suddenly, an explosion rocked the corridor, sending the trio to the ground. There was a loud CRACK, and Dalan looked up to see the ceiling of the corridor open like a fault line. He scrambled to his feet as a dozen Vong warriors, all in high-rank armour, descended. All of them wielded amphistaffs and judging from their grips, the tiger knew these were no mere amateurs.

    Triel noticed this too, and her stomach churned slightly. Armed, she and Dalan could probably take this dozen and still make it to the ship. However, she was the only on/>
  20. Whiskey in the Jar-Jar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 17, 2000
    star 4
  21. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
    :eek:

    But still, I have faith in Whisper even if the odds are against her and the point spread has her pushed!

    Dalan is going through hell; he and Triel loose sight of one another, he runs into a copycat (pun intended) of Shaylear and has to deal with the fact, and now before they could really, really have a moment to bring it all together Triel has to be a Jedi! UGH!

    But still there is hope.... :(

    May be not! We shall see!!!

    HANG NAIL!
  22. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    Well, now I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Bad things always happen in 3's, I find...we have the death of Mother, Triel's disappearance and seemingly apparent fall to the dark side, and now...something else bad has to happen, lol.

    Superb writing, Whiskey!
  23. Grand_Admiral_Jaxx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 23, 2000
    star 5
    A bumpin' and a tumblin' it up!
  24. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
    It's never to early to drink. ;)

    Wha? There's no hockey: good enough excuse to start early. It's never to early.... :p
  25. Casper_Knightshade Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 6
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