Before Strangers in the Night -- OC, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan -- one post

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Dec 10, 2006.

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  1. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: Strangers in the Night
    Author: ardavenport
    Timeframe: pre-Episode I, pre-TPM
    Genre: Drama, some OC angst
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, OC
    Keywords Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi, ice, cold
    Summary: Two Jedi. One OC. Cold night. Conserving body heat. Need I say more?
    Notes: Typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox



    Qui-Gon Jinn's arm tensed.

    Betle remained still. Had she woken him, when she moved? The fabric of his clothes rustled. The covering that they shared shifted over them whenever either of them moved. Sometimes the movement would briefly breach the layer of body heat that their covering carefully preserved. The cold air would push in before the opening was covered up again. The large arm that intruded on her right side twitched, then relaxed.

    The body on her left shifted position slightly. She heard low throat sounds - not words, not even syllables - coming from her left.

    Layers of fabric separated her from the bodies of complete strangers and their occasional outlines of chests, hips, arms and legs pressed to her sides. But mostly they were arms, shoulders to elbows, covering and sometimes poking her. The only difference between them in the darkness was that the arm on her right was larger.

    Above and below the breath of freezing air stung any part of her that she was careless enough to expose. The insulating sheet spread out on the floor of their cave protected them from the layer of snow under them, but their bodies' heat still seeped downward toward the frigid ground below. Within insulated clothes, cloak and robes, their three bodies conserved warmth together. The air under their cover felt moist and thick compared to the dry, frigid stillness of the ice cave they sheltered in. But the coolness suppressed the embarrassment of sharing body odors along with their heat.

    Darkness worse than space pressed down on her; at least space had stars in it. If she kept her eyes closed, she could at least pretend that there was some light somewhere. If she opened them, the walls of the cave closed in like a box with no opening. With no constant light and power sources Betle felt smothered by how utterly black the absence of light really was. No survival training she had ever gotten even mentioned this. The insides of her eyelids were alive with the afterimages of her brain thirsting for the expected illumination.

    Qui-Gon Jinn moved again, his upper arm rubbing against her side.

    A few seconds later, Obi-Wan Kenobi shifted position. Betle wondered if they dreamed together.

    She stayed wakeful, waiting to feel tired. Betle should have been able to sleep right away, even with the bruises and strains. They had been traveling for hours, until the encroaching darkness had forced them to seek shelter for the night. Betle did not know why they couldn't use a light. Were the ships that had destroyed the Comm Nexus Tower looking for them? She hadn't heard any pursuit, or seen any craft above, but anything in orbit could be cloaked.

    The Jedi wouldn't tell her. It wasn't important for her to know why explosions had suddenly thrown her out of her chair, under the trans-rec computer boards. When a long-haired, bearded Jedi had emerged from the hole that had once been a bank of holo-net displays, he had looked quite surprised when he saw her.

    She did not know what was in the memory chits that the Jedi had taken from the encoded com channels. They wouldn't say. That wasn't important for her to know either. And if the Jedi hadn't even known that she was there, then was it important that she even existed? Her value, her solitary home and the job that she thought she had done so well were gone, blasted apart in a huge or
  2. obsessedwithSW Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2005
    star 4
    There was movement on her right. The cloak lifted up off of her, letting in some cold air, as Qui-Gon turned himself on his side, facing her. He laid his hand on her stomach. Through his glove and her insulated outer clothes and layers of fabric, she felt the warmth from it immediately.

    "More motion on her left, a disturbance of cloak and air over her. Obi-Wan Kenobi turned over on his side, one hand slid over hers.


    OOhhh!
    *imaginging being alone in a cave with Qui on one side Obi on the other....*[face_love]
    I want to be her!

    Although(evil laugh) I dont think Id just lay there...[face_devil]

    I enjoyed the story, good job with the challenge btw!=D=
  3. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5

    Betle's thoughts drifted away from her possibly murderous employer or which family member she would land on and stay with. For now, the night comfortably isolated her from the potential future, just as the Jedi insulated her from the cold. She knew little more about them now, but. . . .

    They no longer felt like strangers.


    Awwww [face_love] I really enjoyed this, ardavenport. Excellent work from the point of view of your original character and that's one not often touched on in fanfic, how ordinary people who come to be in contact with Jedi and find them forced on missions with them feel. Great job!
  4. Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2006
    star 2
    Ooooo, that was lovely! Make another tally mark for the =P~ of laying between Obi and Qui-Gon. Great interpretation of her thoughts on the two Jedi...and sweet, pretty Obi and Qui comforting her when they knew she needed it [face_love]!

    Nice! =D= @};- =D= @};- @};-
  5. Star-Foozle Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 24, 2006
    star 2
    Ah, this was lovely!

    There was movement on her right. The cloak lifted up off of her, letting in some cold air, as Qui-Gon turned himself on his side, facing her. He laid his hand on her stomach. Through his glove and her insulated outer clothes and layers of fabric, she felt the warmth from it immediately.

    "It really is alright," he said softly, his head lying near hers. "What is done is done. We will go forward in the morning." His warm breath stirred her hair.

    More motion on her left, a disturbance of cloak and air over her. Obi-Wan Kenobi turned over on his side, one hand slid over hers.


    Mmmm...add me to that list as well. [face_love] =P~ I'd say I'd love to be in Betle's place, if she wasn't so worried. I do feel bad for her -- her entire life's just come crashing down around her ears. But sleeping between Qui and Obi would definitley make things better.:D

    Great job, keep up the good work!

    =D=
  6. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Ohmigosh - this was fantastic.

    Layers of fabric separated her from the bodies of complete strangers and their occasional outlines of chests, hips, arms and legs pressed to her sides. But mostly they were arms, shoulders to elbows, covering and sometimes poking her. The only difference between them in the darkness was that the arm on her right was larger.

    Above and below the breath of freezing air stung any part of her that she was careless enough to expose. The insulating sheet spread out on the floor of their cave protected them from the layer of snow under them, but their bodies' heat still seeped downward toward the frigid ground below. Within insulated clothes, cloak and robes, their three bodies conserved warmth together. The air under their cover felt moist and thick compared to the dry, frigid stillness of the ice cave they sheltered in. But the coolness suppressed the embarrassment of sharing body odors along with their heat.

    Darkness worse than space pressed down on her; at least space had stars in it. If she kept her eyes closed, she could at least pretend that there was some light somewhere. If she opened them, the walls of the cave closed in like a box with no opening. With no constant light and power sources Betle felt smothered by how utterly black the absence of light really was. No survival training she had ever gotten even mentioned this. The insides of her eyelids were alive with the afterimages of her brain thirsting for the expected illumination.


    I felt like I was right there with them - actually, um, I would like to be in that position - in the middle, oh yah.

  7. Fluff-Slayer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2005
    star 2
    That was pretty cool, ardavenport!

    Loved your girl's internal conflict. It was very well done, and her voice definitely came through loud and clear. :)

  8. amidalachick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Betle's thoughts drifted away from her possibly murderous employer or which family member she would land on and stay with. For now, the night comfortably isolated her from the potential future, just as the Jedi insulated her from the cold. She knew little more about them now, but. . . .

    They no longer felt like strangers.


    Oh, so sweet. [face_love]

    Your OC and your descriptions were wonderful, ardavenport. I felt like I was there. Excellent work! =D=
  9. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    Brilliant!
    How do you come up with all these lovely short stories, your imagination is fantastic.=D=
  10. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    At least, she had two Jedi to keep her warm. Oh, had I been there... [face_love] However, I liked that she was more worried about her life and what was going to happen than she was sleeping with two Jedi.

    At least she was warm! Good job. Loved the ending.
  11. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Oh, lovely lovely work ardavenport...yum, what a great place to be [face_love]

    Qui-Gon's arm, lying over her, was relaxed. His breathing had slowed to what sounded like sleep again. His body next to hers warmed her down to her booted feet.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't feel any different; the folds of the hood of his robe lay over her shoulder. She supposed he was still wakeful. Well, she wouldn't have to worry about disturbing him then. His hand, still over her own, moved slightly, a single stroke, but his fingers continued to caress, a faint murmur of fabric that broke the oppressive stillness of the cave.


    =P~ Wonderful =D=
  12. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    obsessedwithSW: OOhhh! *imaginging being alone in a cave with Qui on one side Obi on the other....* love I want to be her!

    Oh, that was the fun part of writing this story.[face_mischief] Thanks for reading!

    Layren: Thank-you! One fun thing I've found to put in a story is the comparison between ordinary citizens of the galaxy and the Jedi who are quasi-superheroes. There is lots of story conflict there since their versions of 'normal' are so different.

    Luminara_Kenobi: Ooooo, that was lovely! Make another tally mark for the drooling of laying between Obi and Qui-Gon. . .

    The need to share body heat for survival is such a wonderful plot device that gets you really close to the characters.[face_mischief] Glad you enjoyed it!

    Star-Foozle: I'd say I'd love to be in Betle's place, if she wasn't so worried. I do feel bad for her -- her entire life's just come crashing down around her ears. But sleeping between Qui and Obi would definitely make things better.

    Thanks for the reply! I think that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have got quite a line of admirers for rescuing and overnight comforting. :)

    Valairy_Scot: I felt like I was right there with them - actually, um, I would like to be in that position - in the middle, oh yah.

    Thank you! Yes, I think people agree, this middle is best.:)

    Fluff-Slayer: Thanks! For the OC's POV, I just had to think about how depressing looking for a job can be and the character's voice came through really well.

    amidalachick: Thanks for reading! This OC was in quite an enviable position. :)

    Gkilkenny: How do you come up with all these lovely short stories, your imagination is fantastic.

    Thank you! I honestly don't know where they come from, but I'll keep writing them while they're there.

    dianethx: Thanks! Yes, being between two Jedi brings new meaning to 'warm fuzzy'. Even RL can take the night off from that.:)

    Kestrel_Kenobi: I agree, what a wonderful place to be. [face_love] Thanks for the reply!


  13. adawn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 16, 2005
    star 1
    Qui-Gon Jinn moved again, his upper arm rubbing against her side.

    A few seconds later, Obi-Wan Kenobi shifted position. Betle wondered if they dreamed together.


    I really liked this small detail, and Betle's wondering thought afterwards. I always imagined that a Master/Padawan pair that in tuned to each other must leave an interesting impression on beings who don't have a similar relationship.
  14. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Thanks! :) When everyone is in the dark, you tend to notice the little details. I'm sure that both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan would be surprised by how the look to others.
  15. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Came to this from browsing the Qui/Obi index.

    All I can say is:

    "The night is long and the dreams are many!!"
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