Before Sunrise -- Action Qui-Gon Challenge, ** COMPLETE ** -- 7-August-2006

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Jul 23, 2006.

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  1. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: Sunrise
    Author: ardavenport (aka Anne Davenport)
    Timeframe: pre-Episode I, pre-TPM
    Genre: Drama, Action Qui-Gon Jinn Challenge
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Keywords Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, sun, action
    Summary: Qui-Gon Jinn involves himself in the traditions of another world
    Notes: Typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox


    A deep reverberating gong sounded from the tower above. The lighting changed as the edge of the fiery orange disk of the sun peeked over the horizon. The square, stone towers almost glowed a pale brownish-gray, their reflected light illuminating the arena below.

    The Executioner bowed in the direction of the sunrise. She welcomed the morning with a muttered prayer in an ancient language. ?Tuth-a hozhi el elm mahoui.? She had skin the color of dark, gray stone, tough and weathered. She was broad-shouldered, her bare arms well-muscled from years of performing her art.

    She was perfectly attired in millennia of tradition of the Noi?i. White, tan and yellow were the sacred colors of one who was called to take any other life, either sentient or animal. Her white and yellow short dress looked new; there were no old stains to hint of her many years of service. The animal-hide cross-straps and the collar that draped over her shoulders looked stiff, the simple, square pattern along it?s edges newly stamped. But her tan skullcap, boots, bracers and belt were well-worn, though clean and buffed.

    The Executioner was also conspicuously armed with matching long-knives in sheaths strapped to her calves, crossed hatchets on her back, smaller knives on her shoulder straps, wickedly curved blades on her belt along with a whip, blow-tube and a cylinder of long darts. They were traditional weapons, of course. The tools of slaughter.

    She stood, her feet spread apart, her powerful body at ease as she contemplated her task with unspoken prayers. Then she lifted her head and turned. After a brief bow to the main gallery above, she strode back to the stone stocks on the high, raised stone platform in the center of the arena. She reached for the golden-bladed axe, resting on the flat top of the stocks, over the head of the victim.

    Qui-Gon Jinn heard her lift the large, heavy axe blade over him, his head and arms trapped in the stone; the locks had been smashed and blasted to keep him from escaping. The air whistled as she experimentally cut the air with the curved, micron-fine edge. Qui-Gon saw her legs move close to him. He felt her large hand first rest on his head, then stroke the long brown hair that hung down around his face. Qui-Gon felt her passion for her task through the Force. She took great pride in her calling.

    ?The sun will take your soul, your blood will feed the land.? Qui-Gon accepted her words, her sincerity. He felt it. He felt her strength through her hand, her body. He felt the hard stone under him, under her, the solid stocks that trapped him. He felt the whole space of the arena as if it were an extension of his own senses.

    The Executioner lifted her hand. She raised her axe and Qui-Gon felt it?s weight as she tested the reach of her swing over his exposed neck. Qui-Gon flexed his muscles, his knees pressed to the stocks, his bare feet flat on platform.

    She lifted the axe high and inhaled deeply for the strike.

    The Force flowed upward though Qui-Gon. The axe descended just as Qui-Gon pushed upward, the stocks rising with him.

    The blade shattered, the metal pieces flying in all directions as Qui-Gon propelled himself forward, the Force filling him with strength. He leaped over the edge of the platform and twisted in the air. The stone broke on the stones inset into the hard, dirt floor of the
  2. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    :eek:

    Qui-Gon's going to be subjected to ritual cannibalism!

    Can't wait to see where this goes.
  3. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Powerful as always! Loved this passage:

    She stood, her feet spread apart, her powerful body at ease as she contemplated her task with unspoken prayers. Then she lifted her head and turned. After a brief bow to the main gallery above, she strode back to the stone stocks on the high, raised stone platform in the center of the arena. She reached for the golden-bladed axe, resting on the flat top of the stocks, over the head of the victim.

    I have to know what happens next, could you add me to your PM list please? [face_praying]

    =D= Great start! :D
  4. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    He faced her, the axe held up in one hand, the shrouds bunched up under his other arm. She paused, her pale eyes evaluating his stance and the weapon. She carefully stepped forward. He didn?t move. They faced each other, the stone black between them.

    ?You are condemned. Your death only waits its reality,? she stated in a cultured, feminine voice.

    ?Not, I think, today,? Qui-Gon replied in his own, refined Coruscant accent.


    So cool. :cool: I loved the descriptions. Very fluid and precise. =D= I can't wait for more! :)
  5. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Holy moly!!! What a way to start a fic! :D :D I've got the feeling this is going to be quite the adventure.

    Might I ask for PM updates, please?

  6. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Woah, what a beginning! Mmmm I bet he'd taste good ;) Can't say that I blame her :p

    Though killing him would be such a waste ;) Excellent beginning! Looking forward to more!
  7. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Wow - what a beginning!
    I need to have more... please update soon! [face_praying]
  8. Ara-gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    Oh, but that's delightfully wicked, ardavenport. Truly wicked.

    I'm so curious as to how he ended up in an executioner's ring.

    Will you please PM me for updates?
  9. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Princess_Arulmozhi:
    Qui-Gon's going to be subjected to ritual cannibalism!

    Well not if Qui-Gon has anything to say about it! [face_mischief] Thanks for reading!

    VaderLVR64: Powerful as always!

    Thank you! :)

    LuvEwan:
    So cool. I loved the descriptions. Very fluid and precise. I can't wait for more!

    Thanks! :):cool:

    Healer_Leona: Holy moly!!! What a way to start a fic! I've got the feeling this is going to be quite the adventure.

    Thank you. I like dramatic beginnings. :)

    Layren: Woah, what a beginning! Mmmm I bet he'd taste good. Can't say that I blame her.

    Thanks for the reply! I don?t think Qui-Gon is going to let her find out. [face_mischief]

    Fifilla: Wow - what a beginning! I need to have more... please update soon!

    Thank you! Yes, there is indeed more. :)

    Ara-gon:
    Oh, but that's delightfully wicked, ardavenport. Truly wicked. I'm so curious as to how he ended up in an executioner's ring.

    Thanks much! Aaaaah, more will be revealed.o_O


    And now, more....


    <>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<> ? part 2

    He lowered the axe that he had taken from her. She studied him and lowered the axe she still had.

    She turned and walked around the butchering block. He didn?t move until she was almost within swinging distance. She pulled her arm back to attack when he crouched, but she completely missed him as he jumped high up in the air, flipping backwards off the platform. He twisted in the air to evade a spinning axe that came after him. Qui-Gon landed on the ground of the arena as the axe clanged against the wall behind him.

    The Executioner frowned down at him. She could not jump down that far without injuring herself. She turned and walked back to the stairs; she did not hurry this time.

    Qui-Gon quickly threw down the white shrouds. He took one and cut off a large triangle with the sharp blade of the golden axe head. He folded over the long, ragged edge that he?d just cut and then tied the triangle over his head, knotting it under his chin. He took another shroud, cut and then ripped a large square off of one end. Another cut with the axe blade gave him a hole that he pushed his head through, the fabric hanging down as a crude poncho over his exposed arms.

    The Executioner had come around the platform, but instead of attacking, she simply walked around him, though she clearly looked unhappy with Qui-Gon?s use of the death shrouds. She continued on to the wall of the arena.

    The axe, lying on the flat stones at the base of the wall, lifted up off the ground and flew past the Executioner before she even got close to it. It landed neatly in Qui-Gon?s outstretched hand. The Executioner whirled and stared at it. Then she stared at Qui-Gon.

    For the first time, Qui-Gon finally sensed doubt in her. She remained fixed in place while he calmly used the second axe to cut another piece of shroud. He tossed the axe to the ground next to its mate and then tore off a long strip of fabric. He began tying this around his waist to hold the front and back ends of the poncho fabric to his body.

    ?Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!? Seizing a curved blade from her belt, the Executioner rushed at him.

    She went flying back, pushed by the Force from Qui-Gon?s outstretched hands. He slowly lowered his arms and watched her pick herself up from the ground. When he was satisfied that she was uninjured, he bent down and picked up the strip of fabric and began tying it around his waist again.

    He could not injure her. That would count against him as a real crime under Noi?i law, though keeping out of the Executioner?s reach wasn?t. This was a conspicuous loophole in Noi?i law, a loophole clearly meant to ease the consciences of the judges condemning others to death. Typical, unarmed and bound prisoners could take little solace from knowing that if they somehow evaded their sentence without escaping o
  10. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    What a fascinating culture and people. Funny how people can always find some difference in another to use it as a basis for superiority. Not even one's time of birth is safe. :rolleyes:

    I thoroughly enjoyed Qui-Gon dressing himself, all the while keeping the Exectuitoner at bay without harming her. She certainly kept weapons on her person. o_O

    Arrrrghhh, what's going on to make Qui-Gon run to the platform?!?
  11. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    I've always admired your talent for creating completely new worlds and cutoms, and bringing in a wealth of detail into them. As to this post - loved how Qui-Gon calmly went about disarming the executioner. Also, his reflections about Obi-Wan's maturity in negotiations. He actually waited until he got Qui-Gon alone, to argue with him. :D

    Lovely, lovely. Now I need more. [face_praying]
  12. Ara-gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    Oh, but this post was even better than the first. What an--intriguing world. I don't think I'd like to visit. Nope, definitely not.

    Loved the way Qui glared at her when she interrupted his attempts to clothe himself.

    She must be one surprised executioner. Did no one tell her that her quarry was a Jedi Master?

    Why is Qui running? He sees it. Obi sees it. I don't. Aarrrggh!

    More soon? [face_praying]

  13. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    argh - evil cliffie!!!!!!!! Must know what happens!!!!

    So wonderful, the ppl, and the descriptions...everything.

    Please pm me when you update! [face_praying]
  14. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    This was really cool. The action was great in the first post, I could just see everything so clearly. Of course, Qui-Gon had to wait til the last minute to shatter the ax...LOL.

    This one was interesting, too, with the culture and the way Qui-Gon manipulated the Executioner to keep from killing herself or him. But why is Qui running towards her?

    Good job.
  15. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I love all the background info you're giving on us this culture and people. It makes the story all the richer! =D=

    And you can certainly write a breathtaking action sequence! :eek:

    Nicely done, as always! =D=
  16. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Evil cliffhanger [face_worried] don't do that again [face_shame_on_you]

    Great chapter, but I fear that the Executioner has some more tricks in store.
  17. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Healer_Leona: Glad you?re enjoying the story! Qui-Gon, Jedi Master that he is, can certainly hold his own in a fight, even if he?s covering/dressing himself at the same time.

    Princess_Arulmozhi: Thank you! Whenever I write, half of it is coming up with all the background that I want to put my favorite characters into. And then on top of that mix, I put in how the characters react. The story often does not turn out the way I originally thought.

    Ara-gon: Thanks! With traditions like these people have, it?s not a very inviting world, I suppose. And the Executioner is doing her best to get Qui-Gon but she?s really just annoying him, at least at first.

    Kestrel_Kenobi: Thanks for replying! :)

    dianethx: Glad you like it! Having all the background details and the culture, actually help with writing the action parts. It fills in all the details.

    VaderLVR64: Thanks! I never really think of myself as an action writer, but action is sort of inevitable with Jedi.

    Fifilla: Thanks! Yes, the Executioner has something in mind...[face_mischief]


    When I wrote the story, it seemed sooooooo obvious to me why Qui-Gon was running....so this is the next part....



    <>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<> ? part 3

    Unfortunately, Qui-Gon?s estimation of his improvised shoes had been correct and he had to kick them off on the stairs, slowing him down. The Executioner had already knelt and stood up again. Even with her hands and arms bound behind her, she could still pick up one of the shards of the blade of the axe that had been broken on the stones of the stocks at sunrise.

    She stood, facing him when he reached the top of the stairs. The stone platform was hot on his bare feet and scattered with metal pieces, glinting golden in the sun. He had to shift from one foot to the other, as well as skip around the hot, sharp metal shards. They would burn even the Executioner?s tough skin, but Qui-Gon knew this would not stop her from using one.

    He saw the rhythmic motion of her shoulders as she sawed through her bonds with the sharp metal. She backed up to the edge of the platform; he couldn?t tackle her without both of them going over the side. Qui-Gon breathed in, the Force flowing into him, from the hot stone under his feet, from the sunlight above. He extended his hands and pulled the Executioner toward him.

    She followed his pull and ran right into him, knocking him down. He heard the clink of the metal shard as she dropped it. Her arms were still bound, but she rolled on top of him, trying to pin him to the hot stone. He felt it through the shroud fabric and his sleeveless tunic; it burned his bare legs and arms wherever they touched it. She anchored herself with her legs on either side of his body. Pushing forward, she tried to head butt him, but his forearms blocked her.

    He pushed her off, rolled away and back up onto his feet. He heard the fabric of her bonds tearing. Diving forward, he seized her collar and belt, and heaved her up onto his back. He leaped off the platform; the Force flowed through him, absorbing the impact as his knees bent when he landed. The Executioner rolled forward off his shoulder and Qui-Gon immediately dove on top of her, planting himself on her broad back over her arms and facing toward her legs. He muscular body bucked under him, but he held her down. Her wrists were nearly free, the fabric cut and stretched, but her arms were still pinned by the cloth holding them behind her.

    Qui-Gon took a new strip of fabric from the extra cloth hanging from his waist and re-tied her wrists. She shrieked her outrage.

    ?Coward! Coward! You will die alone in darkness! You will die in space!!!? She cursed him in the worst way she knew. Qui-Gon saw the palm of one of her hands was brown and burned with a smear of blood on it from holding the hot, metal shard. The bleeding wasn?t bad and would stop on its own, but he wrapped extra cloth around it to cover up the wound.

    Breathing hard, Qui-G
  18. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Great job on the way he defeated the Executioner. She's really quite a formidable opponent and determined to kill him. Too bad, he didn't want to be killed and finally sat on her - loved that. Plus the description of his recovery was perfect.

    Wonderfully done.
  19. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Great update!
    I'm glad that Qui-Gon made it out of the arena alive :)
    I liked it, when he used the Force to move the air. And he was a bit confused in the evening when everything was over - liked your description of this also.
  20. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Wonderful! =D=

    ?The sun gives me strength, Jedi,? she hissed, her voice coming from the ground behind him. ?It takes yours.?

    He could not disagree with her. There was no shade left in the arena. The scarce, morning clouds had vanished, leaving only pitiless blue sky above, and the merciless, white sun itself. He breathed deeply, suppressing the beginnings of a headache. His feet and the skin on his calves felt hot and burned in places, along with the parts of his hands and forearms that the Executioner had forced down onto the platform. There would be blisters later, but for now he shunted the pain aside. He still had half the day to survive. He pulled the scarf back over his head and straightened his improvised poncho to cover his arms again before standing and then pulling up the Executioner


    I love your portrayal of Qui-Gon. It seems exactly right to me! :D
  21. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Amazing how I felt right there with Qui-Gon and the Executioner. Brilliant description and detail.

    Finally out of the sun and under needed care.

    Qui-Gon was quite grateful that Obi-Wan was caring for his injuries instead of this abrupt woman.


    Awww. [face_love]

    ?Don?t fade out again. You?re the first one I?ve ever had to declare living.?

    That statement clicked in his memory. He remembered where he?d met her before.

    She was the coroner


    Treated by the coroner, that sent a small shiver up my spine.

    Fabulous post! :D :D
  22. Ara-gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    "Coward! Coward! You will die alone in darkness! You will die in space!!!? She cursed him in the worst way she knew.
    Interesting imprecation. It's very telling about their culture.

    The executioner is a very determined woman and skilled fighter. That she managed to shock Qui-Gon speaks volumes about her.

    He sat on her! Ha! That's one way to keep her under control and provided a cool seat as well. I loved that he would respond to her only with a squeeze of her shoulder.

    And there's more? Oh, good.
  23. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    oh, lovely post...beautifully written...loved this;

    With each breath, the air around him breathed as well, the movement of it drying old sweat, cooling his skin.

    Qui-Gon sensed the Executioner?s surprise. She felt the movement of the air as well. He pressed down on her next attempt to struggle free of him without missing a breath. Inhale. Exhale. The air had become a part of him, connected through the Force, like the arena, the ground, the wall behind him and the Executioner. Qui-Gon did note that the Executioner emphatically did not feel the same connection. She was as insensitive to the Force as the stone platform before them, but she was no less connected to the Jedi.


    Wonderful descriptions.

    I'm glad there's more of this.

    =D=
  24. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    dianethx: Thanks! Sitting on her was the most practical thing for him to do, though I don?t think I?d want Qui-Gon sitting on me[face_worried] , much as I love him.[face_love]

    Fifilla: Thanks for the nice reply! After a day of sun and dehydration, even Qui-Gon is going to need some medical attention, but he recovers quick.:)

    VaderLVR64: Thank you! Glad you liked my Qui-Gon.:)

    Healer_Leona: Glad you liked the descriptions! Putting in lots of descriptions makes it easier to write, too, though it does take longer. And after a long day in the sun, Qui-Gon needs a little TLC.:) Fortunately, Obi-Wan was handling most of the actual treatment; I think the coroner was mostly only supervising.

    Ara-gon: Well, when faced with an angry woman who has already surprised him and wants to kill him, sitting on her seemed like the right move for Qui-Gon. Not very glamorous, but effective. Thanks for reading!:)

    Kestrel_Kenobi: Thanks! I liked having Qui-Gon use the Force to cool himself. It?s unusual, but it should be within the capabilities of a Jedi master, though it sounds like pushing air around might be an advanced Force capability.



    Yes, there is a little bit more to finish....



    <>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<>[]<> ? part 4

    Qui-Gon sighed after the door slid closed behind her. Outside the room?s large bay windows, a plane of city light glittered below in the darkness. They were blocked in places by the dark shapes of the leafy plants that grew under the windows. The room was warm, but not uncomfortably so. He closed his eyes.

    ?Master?? Qui-Gon opened his eyes again and looked at his apprentice. Obi-Wan had finished with his foot and was now wrapping it and his lower leg in a wide yellow strip of gauze. ?Should we have interfered?? he asked when he had Qui-Gon?s attention.

    Qui-Gon Jinn smiled, that Obi-Wan?s ?we? had included himself in some of the guilt of his Master?s somewhat rash actions. ?How do you feel about it, Obi-Wan?? he asked. ?Not what you think we should have done; how do you feel?? he added.

    Obi-Wan pressed his lips together, and Qui-Gon knew that Obi-Wan had only been trying to think his way through the Noi?i?s problem. He was a very thoughtful pupil, sometimes too much so when he ignored his intuitive reactions to situations.

    He laid Qui-Gon?s wrapped foot on the sleep couch and pulled the sheet down to cover both feet. Then he moved forward to sit on the side of the sleep couch. He took Qui-Gon?s hand and squirted bacta gel on the back of it. The droid?s pale, glowing eye sensors followed his movements and the machine directed his technique. Obi-Wan rubbed the gel into the damaged and blistered skin with ends of his gloved fingers with gentle, circular motions.

    ?I don?t think I would have liked what would have happened if you hadn?t acted,? he finally admitted.

    ?Aah.? Qui-Gon acknowledged wordlessly, momentarily distracted by the cool relief and the touch of the Force he felt through Obi-Wan?s hands.

    ?But,? Obi-Wan continued. ?Was it our place to act? Should the Noi?i have been left to their own affairs??

    ?If they wish to be left alone, then they should not request outside mediators for their negotiations.?

    ?We were supposed to be neutral,? Obi-Wan replied.

    ?We were not observers, Obi-Wan,? Qui-Gon reminded. ?Our parameters for action were clearly defined by their laws. Those laws allowed for a third party to intervene. We were to be neutral to the individual sides, but we were mandated to promote the common good for all sides. The common good would not have been served by Molty Kohm, or any of his followers, becoming a martyr. They could successfully pressure the Traditions Committee into revoking all the remaining sanctions against the Nightborn without that kind of drama,? Qui-Gon finished with a tone of scorn for Kohm?s tactics.

    Obi-Wan concentrated on this so strongly that he forgot his ministrations to Qui-Gon?s burns. Qui-Go
  25. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Sigh. I loved every bit of it. Right from Qui-Gon's thwarting (or attempts to thwart) Kohm's thirst for martyrdom, to his handling of them - here, you've shown the maverick for what he is: impulsive, and taking matters into his own hands. And why the Council would be displaeased. I foresee a long and exhausting Council debriefing. :D How like Kohm to immediately ask for the Jedi to be "removed." Politicians!

    Also loved Obi-Wan's ascendence into maturity, and his eagerness to participate in the talks. And the way he understands the how's and why's of being a neutral party. The vision of Obi-Wan sleeping with his mouth open. :D Poor, hard-working kid. But it's obvious that he respects his master enormously, isn't it? When he takes care of Qui-Gon's wounds. [face_love]

    And that Executioner! Doesn't ever give up, does she? Reminds me of those clan-hatreds, where they nurse grudges to their dying days. That conversation before they left was so right.

    Beautifully done, Anne. =D=
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