Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by DarkJediTJ, Oct 2, 2002.
What goes "HA HA HA... plop."?
Someone laughing their head off!
Ok ok... heres a bad one..
Q: Why'd the koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead
Q: Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead
Q: Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it though it was a game...
*cough* umm *looks at floor* ill shaddup now
May The Force Be With You!
A mom dad and baby tomato are walking down the street and the baby starts to lag behind so the dad goes back and smashes the baby and says "ketchup"
A man walks into a bar... it hurt.
Q: What did the apple say to the orange?
A: Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
A: Robin, get in the car.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?
A: That's because he hides well.
Thank you, you've been great!
*gets booed off the stage*
This can be kinda racist so I'll just say Earthling instead of the race its suppossed to be. Substitute it for what you like.
An earthling walked into a bar with a talking parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asked "Where'd you get that mate?" and the parrot answered "There's hundred's of em down at the tip!"
Q:How do you make spaghetti?
A:Hit a leper over the head with a tennis racquet.
Q:What do you do when an earthling runs at you yelling with only half a head?
A:Fire off the 2nd barrel
One day a guy brought his girlfriend to his parents for dinner and to get acquainted. During the main meal the girlfriend desperately needed to fart, and after a little while she could hold no longer. So she tried to let it out softly, but let out a ripping snorter instead.
"ROVER!" the guys father yelled at the dog under the table. The girlfriend thought "Phew, they thought it was the dog."
A little later she needed to rip another one, so she just went for it and again..
She was safe from embarrassment, but again needed to let another out. "Oh well", she thought and did a tremendous fart.
The father screamed, "ROVER, GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE BEFORE SHE ****S ALL OVER YOU!"
A farmer was sick of hunters shooting his famr and livestock up accidently so he painted names on everything on the farm.
He woke the next morning to see a hunter shooting his tractor
"What are you doing!" yelled the farmer
"It says John 'Deere' replied the hunter
That about sums up the intelligence of most hunters I know, tragic isn't it?
Lol Sorry I just Remembered a Joke I made up, Its Racist but I swear no one will get insult because I know your not from this country...
Q: What is the one thing that confuses All Bidalonians?
A: Where they come from!
Q: What is the Difference Between a Bidalonian and a person from Aldrean?
A: Bidalonians Were never sure weather they ever had a home land,
Q: What two things aren't on the map that should be to resolve alot of confusion?
A: Bidalonia, if they know where it is!
Bidalonia is a Made up country that my teacher made up so she could tell Irish Jokes without insulting people, so I made up some Bidalonian Jokes! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh God I'm sad!
TJ has just slumped to a new low, well done young chap... No, really, that sucked
Did you hear about the leper prostitute?
Business kept falling off
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
LOL...that was great...
yet also bloody awful.
It's great, very, very Maloufian.
I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest! I'm The lowest!
Yeah, that's pretty much what I was aiming at... Good for you!
2 Lepers playing cards.
One threw in his hand and the other laughed his head off!
<Luaghing at DJ's jokes>
Hey wait a second! I'm Irish!
Q:Why did the baldman put a rabbit on his head?
A:From a distance he thought it was a hair
A club sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
They have the same middle name!
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were ready to check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent, so they put it all on the duck's bill.
Why did they bury the fireman on the other side of the hill?
Because he was dead!
Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
to keep their pants up!
Why do Elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees!
You ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Works dont it?!
Why do elephants have flat feet?
From jumping out of cherry trees!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead!
What do you do with a dog with no legs?
Take it for a drag
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Nothin. It's not like it will come when you call it!
*gets booed off again*
Thank you! You've been great
What's Mary short for?
She's got no legs.
A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
You're A Redneck Jedi When
1. You use the force to cheat at fishing, bowling, and long-distance
2. More than half the droids you own don't function.
3. The number of blasters you own exceeds your I. Q.
4. You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.
5. You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot
while vacationing on Hoth.
6. Your moonshine is made on the moon.
7. You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the
dip stored in your back pocket.
8. Sandpeople back down from your mama.
9. You've used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a DUI.
10. You've strangled people with the force because they laughed at your
11. You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.
12. You've argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.
13. A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.
14. You've wrecked several landspeeders while lighting cigarettes with
15. You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.
16. You've gone AT-AT tipping.
17. Jabba's pig guards think you have a hygiene problem.
18. You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
19. The Rancor monster refused to eat you.
20. You discovered that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father,
who also happens to be your brother.
11. You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.
Q:How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge?
A:Footprints in the butter