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FF:VIC Super man, Its not Easy

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by DarkJediTJ, Oct 2, 2002.

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  1. Rogue_Product Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    How do a blonde's brain cells die?
    Alone.

    A little Tasmanian boy runs into his house and proclaims "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

    EDIT: found this on the web, I had to edit some out because they were filth... but you'll get the idea... PM me if you want the full site

    Confusious say:
    1: Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead to undoing of fly.
    2:
    3: Man who run in front of car get tired.
    4: Man who run behind car get exhausted.
    5: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
    6:
    7:
    8: Man with one chop stick go hungry.
    9: Man who scratches butt should not bite finger nails.
    10: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
    11: Baseball is wrong... man with four balls cannot walk.
    12:
    13: War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left.
    14:
    15:
    16: It take many nails to build crib... but one screw to fill it.
    17: Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
    18: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
    19: Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
    20: Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
    21: Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
    22: Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
  2. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    RP you should have posted those to RP's granpappie used to say thread.

    anyway

    Q: What is the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of sand?

    A: Sand is harder to load with a pitchfork!
  3. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q: What is the difference between snot and sand?

    A:You can't gargle sand!
  4. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q: Why did the mokey fall out of the tree?

    A: Because he was dead!!


    Q: Why did the second mokey fall out of the tree?

    A: Because he was stapled to the first!


    Q: Why did the tree fall?

    A: Because a lumberjack cut it down!!


    Q: Why did the lumberjack fall out of the tree?

    A: Because he was hit by 2 flying monkeys and a tree!!
  5. DarkJediTJ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 26, 2000
    star 4
    Q: Why did Mixo find out about this joke?

    A: Because he was the Lumberjack and his Friends Laughted at him.

    Lol J/K
  6. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Ho Ho Ha Ha

    Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
    A:They take the psycho path.

    Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
    A:"Dam".

    Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
    A:polaroids.

    Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
    A:A stick.

    Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
    A:Subordinate Clauses.

    Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
    A:Spoiled milk.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
    A:Frostbite.

    Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
    A:A nervous wreck.

    Q: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
    A:The taste.

    Q:Where do you find a no legged dog?
    A:Right where you left him.
  7. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q:What is red and sits in the kitchen corner screaming
    A: A baby with a vegetable peeler
  8. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said to Dolly

    ?I was artificially inseminated this morning.?

    ?I don't believe you,? said Dolly

    ?It's true, straight up, no bull!?

  9. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q. Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

    A. She heard that the drinks were on the house!


    Q. How do you keep a blonde busy?

    A. Write "Please Turn Over" on both sides of a piece of paper!


    Q. How do you keep a blonde busy all day?

    A. Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner!

  10. DarkJediTJ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 26, 2000
    star 4
    How do you tell the Difference Between a Irish man and a Blond?

    Ask.

    How can you tell if your Talking too a Irish person who is Blond.

    The brain which the continuely shove back into their head will appear alot more then most.
  11. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q:What is the difference between Cameron Diaz and a dog?
    A: 6 glasses of beer
  12. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q: How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
    A:Step one: Open the door.
    Step two: Put the elephant in.
    Step three: Close the door.

    Q: How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
    A: Step one: Open the door.
    Step two: Take the elephant out.
    Step three: Put the giraffe in.
    Step four: Close the door.

    Q: If an elephant and a giraffe had a race, who would win?
    A: The elephant. The giraffe is in the refrigerator.
  13. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q: What is red and holds water?
    A: A red bucket
  14. Jet-Eye Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 10, 2001
    star 4
    What's the deal with this thread anyway? Is it just the infamous three rambling or what?
  15. Rogue_Product Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    Which is different from the rest of VicFF how exactly?
  16. HawkNC Former RSA: Oceania

    Member Since:
    Oct 23, 2001
    star 6
    I would have thought you'd be used to the randomness of VicFF by now, JE. Nothing makes sense here unless you're drunk, so have a drink at the Big V!
  17. Jet-Eye Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 10, 2001
    star 4
  18. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    If you 2 ingrates have noticed or not but this thread is a joke thread for all to jion in and have a laugh at.
    Us NEW AGERS are funny guys!

    Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
    They charged one and let the other one off.

  19. Rogue_Product Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    No Mixo, you're weird guys, but we forgive you for it :p
  20. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Thanks Rogue!

    I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah."
    I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
  21. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    A woman walked into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. The local drunk saw this and asked,
    "Say there, whatcha doin' with that pig?"
    "That's not a pig, stupid!" she said coldly. ""That's a duck."
    "I know," replied the drunk. "I was talking to the duck."

  22. DarkJediTJ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 26, 2000
    star 4
    LMAO!!!

    GOD I LOVE THAT ONE!!!
  23. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q: How do you make a Swiss roll?
    A: Push him down a hill.


    This little polar bear said to his mummy "Mummy, are you sure I'm a polar bear?"
    "Yes, I'm sure" said his mummy.
    "Are you really, really, sure" replied the little polar bear.
    "Yes," said his mother "I'm a polar bear, your father was a polar bear,
    your grandparents were polar bears, we come from a long line of polar bears"
    "So," said the little polar bear "Why am I so very cold."


  24. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Did you hear about lassie having a son with a Rottweiler?
    It rips off your arm, then runs for help.


    Q. Why do duck billed platypusses have flat tails?
    A. Cos if they had flat heads, their brains would squirt out of their ears!


    Mummy why do I keep going round in circles?
    Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor..


  25. SithLord-Mixo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2002
    star 5
    Q: What to you say to an arts graduate?
    A: Can i have fries with that please?


    Q: Why didn't the arts student get up in the morning and look out of the window?
    A: So that they had something to do in the afternoon!


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