1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

  2. Hey Fanficers! In fixing the prefixes something happened and now you can't edit titles. Don't panic! We're looking into what happened and trying to fix it.

Story superman: beyond redemption

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by man of steel, Jun 8, 2013.

  1. man of steel

    man of steel Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 8, 2013
    premise: supermans new nemesis is not an alien or even luther but his own son jason white can he help him or is he beyond redemption.
    warning: this isnt for children or the easily offended

    I look out at the horizon the dead bodies of Jimmy and Perry both of them were my father's friends both of them died for it. I remember the screams of pain they made they begged but in the end they deservingly died. My father betrayed me now his loved ones will die I see there pale bleed out bodies dead kind of like how I was but I will get to that later. I stand there my naked bloodied body waiting for the help that will never arrive.


    I wait there for my father in the cell covered in red sunlight, so Jason have you got any regrets the priest said. No father in fact I want to kill you right now but I will get to that later. I look at the entrance of the cell surrounded by guards, I hear him walking towards the cell the very monster that had not avenged me. I see him walk in the cell; hello slave enjoyed my work…sharp pain courses through my back I was pushed against the wall with him there. WHY he yelled, BECAUSE IT WAS FUN THEY WERE CRYING THEY ALL DESERVED IT! He slaps me across the face; I tackle him and try to bite him in the face. They pulled me off of him, YOU WILL NEVER BE MY FATHER YOU'RE A UNLOVED **** I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU FEEL PAIN MY PAIN!

    He looked at me worried, I spit at him and it hits his face, Jason I'm trying to help you please he cried, **** YOU TAKE ME BACK TO MY CELL! They take me back to my cell it is an advanced cell it has red sunlight lamps and a few guards outside. I was in there waiting for nightfall, the thing that humans don't expect is that Kryptonians although there powers are dormant there superior intellect is intact, I spit the small pin out of my mouth into my hand the yelling match with my poor pathetic excuse for a father paid off. I unlock my prison suit and split the pin in 2 holding my breath. The smoke engulfs the room attempting to block my escape. I crawl up to the ceiling hoping I didn't breathe any of the gas. They came in, I jump on them disarming one and killing the other 2. I grab the suit and put a bullet in the survivor. I walk out the prison is on high alert and I must be a bit careful now. But that priest have to hold my promises now do I


    Clark looked at the TV now he has to cancel his plans to go to jimmy's and Perry's funeral. He sees Kara getting dressed worried for her safety he ponders that if he knew Jason would have not been like this. He feels guilt wash over him he was the one that did this Lois hates him she wants her child back. Hours later He flies to metropolis figuring that is where Jason is, RING, RING, RING. Yes Kara, KAL COME JASONS HERE HE IS CRYING FOR YOU HE WANTS YOU BACK HE WONT STOP SAYING DADDY. Clark was worried but was happy his son and him will reconcile he will try to earn his respect. He flies to the fortress joy growing hoping that there will be a better future.


    You see reader even the coldest of people can act I see Kara my forced tears quickly subsided I look at her. Jason you feel…the flesh of her stomach is torn as my kryptonite knife buries into her. Jason she said coughing blood. I look at the eyes her life draining away it brings happiness to me I like killing it gives me a strange feeling I like it when I give pain to my father. I stab her again and again I did it once twice maybe 5 times. I see her on the floor the crimson liquid spilling her dying slowly. JASON WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, I look at my father he is standing there tears down his face he sees Kara.

    Kara he drops on his knees like the slave he is. He holds Kara's body crying I see the pain and relish in it. I remember when he cradled my body when he betrayed me. DID THAT HURT FREAK, he looks at me? I SAID DID THAT HURT THAT WAS WHAT I FELT WHEN I WAS BETRAYED WHEN YOU DIDN'T KILL LUTHER. Jason why I thought, I punch him off of Kara he smashes against the wall. I kick him multiple times YOU BETRAYED ME I WANT VENGEANCE. We fight throughout the fortress. I punched him as he countered with a upper cut our eyebeams fly back and forth we fight tooth and kneel through the artic, I was limping the fight drained both of us I know I have done quality damage to him for now at least. He is there looking for me but I'm long gone.


    A year has passed since the day super girl died my father toke it hard. He was pathetic crying saying he loved Kara I felt good giving him pain I killed many people trying to get under my dad's skin. Now I'm here at the old bitch's house she will pay for loving him she was some old frail bitch named Martha she was my father's mother. I see her outside looking at the corn field; I walk up to the house she is there standing facing the other way. Hello I said sadistically, she turns around and sees me. Jason please don't he didn't know he loves you she said. I slap her she falls to the ground, OOOHHHH she moans she tries to crawl away. But I grab her hair and through her to the front. YOU'RE PRETTY DURABLE FOR AN OLD LADY! I grab her and slap her multiple times.

    She is crying her face messed up, oh are you crying are your sad well that's how I felt when my daddy betrayed me now you will die. I punch her chest; she is on the ground holding her chest her heart is giving out. I fly away I hear her die like I like it alone, let's hope my father sees that and is guilt stricken like I care though as long as he feels pain.

    I fly to metropolis to my mother's house. I was there very shortly I take off all my clothes and walk in the balcony. She was there staring at me, hi slut I punch her. Jason what are you doing? My vengeance, then…ZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH pain was everywhere I fell to the ground electricity pulses through me. I see my father standing there with a weapon; it's over Jason you lost. You are so gullible No father you have let's just say I got me some insurance I laughed. He looks at me, what insurance he asked. That frail lonely old woman and her husband well let's just say I had taken a lot care of her. He was shocked he looked west and flew quickly. Well this was funny, I ran out the house with my mother. I knew the cat was going to be out the bag soon.


    I was waiting there with Luther the person who caused all of this he was beaten his limbs were gone only bags of meat. I wait for my father who was grieving for his dead mother. Jason please don't do this my mom pleaded, SHUT UP BITCH! I slap her she falls on the ground crying you're a monster. I'm tempted to kill her but my father must see them both die. Hear my father flying slowly to the fortress, JJJJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN I look at the entrance each step he makes causes the fortress to tremble. I see him, so dad nice seeing you here I hope you enjoy watching what remains of your humanity die. Jason stop this now, no I replied you have no say here not now not ever. How was it like father did it tickle watching her body there begging to be saved only for her cries to go out unanswered. I grab Luther's neck who was crying and I broke it.

    JASON STOP, no dad I grabbed my mother and pressed the button. The shields surround him containing his power, so dads prepare to watch her die. I grab my mother by the neck while my father punches the shields. I squeeze her throat she is choking watching me knowing that this was not her son but the new me I laugh as the life drains away slowly. I watch her struggling then my father breaks through, **** I yelled I was punched across the fortress ouch I felt that I looked at him and cried (faking it of course). Jason I know you're faking it, well about that I take out my gun with blue kryptonite.

    I point it at his stomach this is magnum bullets it will go clean through him. It goes through him he starts coughing blood. Well dad how does it feel, I shoot him in the leg. AAAAHHHH, I point the gun at his chest it will destroy his heart and make everyone on earth feel my pain. Then, CLARK NO my mom pushes Clark out the way taking his place. BAM the bullet goes through her chest. LOIS NO, he grabs her she is on the ground bleeding. Please don't hate Jason there's good in him she said. Well isn't that ******** I thought. I fly quickly wanting to escape my dad's anger, I fly quicker then I usually fly. I know he is chasing me I killed his spouse.

    I see the city of metropolis after a long while. I see the city oblivious to me I fly to my house building for my climax. I was still naked embarrassing, at least if I put my chess pieces right I could destroy my father. I lay there waiting for my dad. I see my father standing there out of the corner of my eye, hi daddy what are you here to do send me to jail send me to hell send me to the phantom zone? She died you killed her, no that's not what happened she died because you betrayed me you killed her. He grabbed me by the neck and squeezed, do it father will it bring your little slut back I smiled a healthy hint of sadism. He looks at me red eyes threatening to boil my face off. I take out my kryptonite knife and stab his hand; I grab him and knee him in the gut making sure that I hit the bullet wound. TIME TO DIE I grab the knife and stab his chest, I WIN DADDY YOUR EARTH WILL BE BURNED. He then sucker punches me of him that hurt.

    I fly at him smashing through the house and to the lake, I use my eyebeams. We fight brutally we fight all the way to the city I smash him to a building as he grabs me and throws me to a roof he punches me in the stomach as I counter with spinning back kick to the face. I shoot him with my eyebeams. I tackle him to the road below punching him while landing on a car. I punch his leg as he smashes me to the pavement.

    "YOU WILL PAY FOR BETRAYING ME" I grab a helicopter and smash it on him killing everyone inside the projectile. JASON THIS ENDS NOW, he flies towards me we charge at each other our fist colliding creating a shock wave. I punch him in the throat while he shoots me with his eyebeam. Had enough, yes dad I did I killed that pathetic excuse of a mother. DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HER THAT WAY! He grabs me and wraps his arms around me. Do it Clark run from your responsibility you hypocrite, pressure builds. The cops look at him. He drops me to the ground I get up as the cops put me in cuffs. “Take me away boys and dad you're a coward your alone now your mother is dead your friends are dead and your true love is dead all because of you” he is there facing me angry. Well you're a freak unloved without a relationship with your own son. They take me away, I hear him whispering something He is beyond redemption well isn’t that right daddy? He walks up to me anger in his eyes I know he won’t do anything rash. He places a kiss on my cheek then flies me off to the prison, well that was strange.

    The end

  2. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Apr 7, 2002
    You have an interesting premise here, but I very, very strongly suggest you invest in a beta reader. It's difficult to read in this format, and without the proper punctuation and spacing.
  3. man of steel

    man of steel Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 8, 2013
    Yeah this computer deletes my puncs but what do you mean spacing
  4. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 20, 2002
    Bummer! I think she means that small paragraphs are easiest to read on computers.

    Very interesting story! Poor Clark :(
  5. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Apr 7, 2002
    Yeah, smaller paragraphs are much easier to read, especially in a message board setting.
  6. mrjop2

    mrjop2 Jedi Knight star 4

    Jun 6, 2007
    cool story. I am so glad that I'm no longer the only one to write a Superman fic around here. I'm hopping the new movie will get some new writers and readers, because this new Superman should be much more well received by comic fans and non-comic fans alike. Both men and women should find something about this Superman movie while the previous movies have only intrigued hardcore Superman fans.