Story [Supernatural] Off the Job -The Journal of Sam Winchester -Dear Diary 2010 Challenge -Updated 8/20

Hey Kynstar. You could probably find them on Casttv.com you can only watch an episode every couple of hours but you don't have to pay anything. That's what I do.

 

Raphire: Thanks for commenting! No up ahead, thankfully!
Kynstar: Thanks for replying! I know, I'm so excited for it to come out on DVD -I haven't seen all of season five; the earliest episode that I've seen was episode 8.

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Entry 9

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Given the choice between hunting and finals, I would be tempted to walk away from both.

Of course, that?s why you don?t always give in to your temptations, contrary to what all of Dean?s philosophies seem to say. I would choose the latter option, of course. I might have never taken a college final exam before, but I can at least predict what?s coming up. Hunting is like a hydra (been there, done that): cut of one of its heads, and it grows two more, in new and different forms (you have to burn it to get rid of it, as it turns out).

Not that my second-rate similes are important. The point is, I would still have a choice there. Neither option could be considered what you would call fun, but there is a choice.

Given the choice between studying in the library and listening in on a conversation between the two people sitting at the table behind me, I choose studying. Unless my name comes up, it isn?t my place to listen.

It wasn't intentional. I had been quizzing myself on Latin for the past half-hour, and anyone who says that it's possible for you to do that without your mind wandering even just for a few seconds clearly has never done it.

A few seconds was all that it took to realize that they were talking about certain, unusual weather patterns just south of Palo Alto; lightning storms, for the most part. They were talking about it from the point of students who were taking classes on meteorology, of course. Not how I heard it.

So, like any sensible hunter would do, I got up, collected my notes, and went to research what sort of a storm was brewing next to Palo Alto.

An extra bit of lightning, I can pass as natural atmospheric activity. I?ll be suspicious, of course, but sometimes these things happen. We ?Dad, Dean and I?had followed plenty of false leads before, but being a hunter gives you a different perspective on ?better safe than sorry? than most people have.

Once you add cattle mutilations into the equation, I can't say it's something normal.

Given the choice between risking demonic activity destroying more lives or either swallowing my pride and contacting Dean or Dad, or (and yes, I know my limitations- I'm just throwing out my options) going after it myself...

Well, that isn't really a choice, is it?

(I want to go after it myself; I really do. There's a chance that this could be what killed Mom, and even if it isn't, it's still evil, and eradicating it was my job. I feel almost -no, I do- feel guilty retiring, even if it's the only possible thing that I want that I can actually get. It's hunting or college, and while that's a choice, it's not exactly a hard one: my answer will always be the same.)

Until next time,

Sam Winchester

 

LOL Once a hunter, always a hunter...well deep inside whether ya like it or not I take it!

Well done! I got to see the first episode the other day of season 5 and... poor Sam... gotta feel for him, yeah he pulled a stupid, but still gotta feel for him. Ahhh I want to see more! hehehe

 

Very good post! Loved the bit of contomplation in there it fit perfectly!

 

Kynstar: "Once a hunter, always a hunter..." Yes, I definitely agree with you there! As was shown in season 4, I believe in "It's a Terrible Life," there are certain things that are just ingrained in who the boys are, and that's one of them.

The opener of season 5 is not uplifting. I wish that it became more optimistic, but, well, SPN has never been a particularly cheerful show, I suppose.

Raphire: Thanks! I try to balance in the contemplation with the plot advancement, so I'm glad that it seemed in place.

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Entry 10:

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Having to deal with demons and college is bad enough. Having to deal with demons and college during finals? week is just adding insult to injury.

I thought it over, what to do about the omens near Palo Alto. I considered every possible way to deal with this, and a few that probably weren?t.

In the end, though, all that it came down to was prioritizing: either I shoved aside my pride for the sake of school and made the call, or I went after it myself.

Ultimately, school was more important. I didn?t give up everything that I had (not that it was much, but family does still count for something, even if I only happen to initiate a

conversation with them when Hell?s bells start ringing ?and if me referencing ACDC isn?t proof that my family still has some bearing over me, then I don?t know what is) just to fail out of

Stanford because I was running after what something that could have been completely unrelated to the demon that killed Mom. It was the safer bet as well, and although that wasn?t my first reason for choosing to pick up the phone and contact Dad and Dean, it did help me to make up my mind. I wasn't going to risk taking a final with a broken arm, or worse.

It was Dean that I actually called, of course. School might trump my attempted vow of silence (although I suppose that I?ve technically broken that already, even though it was Dean who called first) but I made a promise not to call Dad, and I don?t break my promises. Not to mention that it just wouldn?t go very well ?he hasn?t forgotten everything that I said, I would bet, and I definitely remember every one of his words.

Dean was there when I called, and I?m not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing ?I was hoping that I wouldn?t have to talk to him, in a way, because I knew that it was going to be awkward. It was, but I suppose that it could have been worse.

I remember exactly what I said, even though it was upwards of a week ago. I?ve wanted to write this, but finals and extracurricular activities don?t exactly go hand-in-hand; I?ve even have to cut down my hours working at the Klown Korner, much to my dismay.

So, without further ado, here?s a transcript as I remember it:

(Dean picked up the phone after the second ring)

[b]Dean[/b]: Hello?

[b]Me[/b]: Dean? It?s-

[b]Dean[/b]: Sammy? What?s going on? Are you okay?

[b]Me[/b]: Yeah, of course. Listen, Dean, I can't talk much now (just as a note, this wasn't a complete lie; I called when Ben was out of the dorm, and I didn't know when he would be back, and I really didn't want to have to deal with any questions about why I was calling my brother) but I needed to tell you something-

[b]Dean[/b]: Sure, of course. What is it?

[b]Me[/b]: There have been omens, in the Palo Alto area. Lighting storms and cattle mutilations. From what I could find, it started about a week ago.

[b]Dean[/b]: Oh, dammit...

I heard him saying something to somebody else, and fumbling around.

[b]Dean[/b]: Listen, Sammy, Dad and I are in Oregon -Salem, going after a poltergeist- but we can probably find someone else to finish it up. We're packing up now. Where do you want to meet?

[b]Me[/b]: Meet? Dean, I can't meet you. I've got finals this week... I just hoped that if you were in the area, you would be able to look into it.

There was another pause; I'm almost certain he was talking to Dad during it. No, scratch that -I know that he was, because I could hear Dad swearing in the background. I think that he was asking to talk to me, and Dean was tryin

 

Poor guy... (Dean this time) He was prob hoping that Sam was gonna join them

At least Sam told them about it, that's a plus!

Great job! Thanks again for another great update!

I heard there's gonna be a sixth season, but w/o the main writer or something like that? Wasn't sure if that was juz something I thought I heard or whether it was true?

 

Yeah. Finals are a pain in the butt.

Loved the nerd out line.

And I really liked the conversation, exactly how it would go on Tv.

Bravo!

 

Kynstar: Thanks for commenting! Yeah, there's going to be a sixth season. All of the main actors are returning, to my knowledge (including Misha Collins! *grins*) but the main writer isn't going to be the creator. That would be a sign of jumping the shark for many shows, but I'll keep my faith in Supernatural until I see it.

I think that Dean still hopes that Sam will come home, but he won't admit it to him, of course.

Raphire: Thanks for reviewing! Ugh, I know -finals are terrible; not a positive note to end the school year on at all. But I'm glad that the conversations were true to character -I'm doing my best, but the boys can be very difficult to write, so your praise means a lot.

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[i]Entry 11[/i]

It's summer, and I'm in California. I'm off-campus for now (renting a small apartment with several people that I met in college, all of whom I've seen eat with real silver silverware, and use liberal amounts of salt when they're doing that) and the classes that I'm taking this term (one is an overview on the major religions of the world, and the other one is about using the internet) aren't hard.

Honestly, I feel good. It kind of kills my manhood to be writing this, but I'm genuinely happy. I made it through an entire term at Stanford, and my grades were much better than I expected them to be, with an "A" in Latin, "B+" in algebra, and an "A" in the creative writing course. The courses weren't as challenging as I expect some of my ones in the future will be, but even if it's only a false sense of security, I get some relief in knowing that I managed to survive as a college kid at all.

My job is going well -I'm now only doing the Klown Korner publicity act on weekends. I work at a waiter there at night, and on some weekdays I have a job working to paint houses -interiors and exteriors, although usually the former. The company hires a lot of college kids, and although the pay isn't that high, all things considered, it helps me to pay my portion of the rent, and it gives me enough to have something extra in my pocket.

It also isn't very difficult work. You just have to be neat when slapping the paint onto the walls. A lot of it is actually just waiting for it to dry in between coats, and that gives me time to study. I almost wish that my classes were more difficult this term.

The guys I'm living with are in similar situations. None of them are working for the painting contractor, but we all have day jobs. Ben works in a movie theater, Dave is working as a personal assistant (or secretary, from what I can tell) for a big-shot that runs an insurance corporation and Brady volunteers at a free clinic. The last one isn't actually a job, but apparently, Brady's parents are rich and he's set for life, and he considers it his personal duty to help out instead of take a job that a more deserving person could use. I'm not protesting -I know a few other people in his situation, and their summers revolve around girls and drinking, so I suppose he's a saint. Or something like that, anyways.

California itself has been, putting it frankly, pretty damn awesome. It's my first time living in this part of the state, and I can't find anything to complain about. The weather is fine by my standards, the people are -well, they're normal people; a decent mixture of the bad and the good- and the supernatural activity has been non-existent since the omens.

On that note, I haven't heard anything from Dean or Dad recently. Shouldn't make me happy, but no news is good news. The silence helps me to distance myself from the past and the present, and that's something that I need to do. I can't say it's easy, but living in a dorm helped me get used to not being able to draw salt lines or devil's traps. I'm still paranoid (living with three people increases the chances that one of them will be possessed and I might not notice as quickly as I would when sharing a room the length of the Impala with only one of them) but it's getting better.

Regardless, I still wonder what they're doing. It makes me feel

 

Entry: 12

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I skipped class today.

We hadn't been doing much -apparently, World Religions isn't a very popular class at Stanford, and it mainly consists of the dozen of us sitting in a classroom listening to the professor go into a rant about how under-appreciated his subject is. Whatever education I get from it is received almost entirely on my own, when I'm reading the textbook in-between painting rooms.

That means that I didn't actually miss anything, or at least nothing that I can't make up. Still, there's part of me that feels guilty for skipping. I'm at Stanford by the grace of a full scholarship, and I'm taking that for granted and not even going to all of my classes?

Regardless, the beach was beautiful, and my guilt wasn't nearly enough to stop me from appreciating that. The weather was perfect, warm with only a touch of humidity, and there were no clouds.

I went there with Ben, Jessica, Brady, Dave, and Dave's girlfriend, Irma. Ben and Jessica ditched us as soon as the car was parked, and I didn't see them again until sunset. The rest of us stayed together for most of the day. We hung out at the shore and people-watched for most of the day, and occasionally went into the water. I've been on both coasts, and the West wins where beaches are concerned.

Of course, I've never had to hunt a siren on the West Coast's beaches, so that probably has something to do with it. It's hard to look at Maine's rocky shores without thinking of the things that come out at night to perch on some of the larger stones.

Anyway, most of the day was spent on the beach, although we eventually retreated to the boardwalk. I have an impressive sunburn on my back to show for it, but at least I'm not alone: Since Brady doesn't have a girlfriend either and neither of us were willing to surrender our pride enough to ask someone to massage sunscreen into our backs, and since neither of us have very long arms, apparently, we both have large red patches in our backs.

Ben has it the worst, though: I don't know where he and Jess ran off to, but since he resembles, to put it in the frankest terms possible, a lobster, I'm guessing that it was sunny, and I'm guessing that the idea of sunscreen didn't even cross his mind. Jess doesn't look much better, but since she wasn't walking around bearing her (sunburned) chest to the world, I can't really judge which one of them will be cringing more in the days to come.

In the end, I don't regret skipping class; not at all, and that makes me feel even more guilty, which in turn makes me think that I'm doing something wrong. It's college, and according to a.) the media, and b.) Dean (we did talk about what it would be like before I left, although it was all in hypothetical terms then, of course) it's supposed to be giving me a greater education in social areas than in academic ones. I'm doing everything correctly, when I think of it from Dean's perspective.

Is it a bad thing that almost all of my guilt is absolved just by thinking that? I'm guessing that it is.

Too bad.

Until next time,

Sam Winchester

 

Post 1: Wow! Sam's jobs sound boring!!!!!!! Expecially when compared to his other one!

However I suppose after a life like his boring is something to be relished.

Great post! And now I move on to the next one!

 

Post 2: Question? Who is the other sunburned person? You left out his name.

Also what were Ben and Jess doing??????

Bravo and keep it up!

 

Raphire: Thanks for commenting! I really appreciate it. Yes, I expect Sam likes being bored.

And thanks for pointing that typo out to me. It's been fixed.

Note: This chapter references events that were referred to in flashbacks in episode 5.16

Happy Independence Day to all who celebrate it today!

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Entry: 13

Today is the July fourth, which means, of course, Independence Day, which in turn means no classes, fireworks, barbecues and family.

At least, that seems to be the general definition that it's getting from the rest of my classmates. Most people who are still in the area over the summer, including all of my roommates, have finally ditched this part of California for wherever they're native to. I have an apartment to myself, nowhere to be, and nothing to do.

And actually, I like it. The past months have been a whirlwind of change, and I've had almost no time to myself. Given that I've spent the majority of my time with almost no friends around me ( at least, none that weren't related) there's a certain element of culture shock that I need to contend with.

I had friends growing up, to some extent: when I was younger (feels odd saying that, seeing as I'm not even able to legally drink, despite what numerous identities that I've possessed have said, but I mean preadolescence young) it was easier for me to adapt to a new situation, and it also helped that at that age, most kids think that it's cool to be moving all over the country, so most of my fellow students were quick to accept me. I was always able to entertain my classmates with stories about where I had lived before.

I think that it was around the time that I learned the real reason that we were traveling all over the country that it suddenly became harder for me to connect to people. When you realize how bad things around you are, you start to have trouble relating to people who will, hopefully, never understand that there are things in the dark that make you wish that you were dreaming.

I also started to loath moving around to where the hunt took us around the time that my voice began to change. That?s when it all went downhill.

But even so, I still have good memories from the time onwards, and I think that the point I?m trying to make with all of this rambling is that the Fourth of July is one of them.

Especially the one when I was thirteen and Dean was seventeen. Dad was gone that year, and for some reason, we?d been left behind. He probably figured that the hunt was too much for us. Dad didn?t give many vacations just for the sake of rest and relaxation.

We were in Massachusetts, and there wasn?t much to do, and Dean drove to New Hampshire and smuggled some fireworks back to Massachusetts. In all technicalities, he was breaking the law on two accounts: backyard fireworks weren't allowed in Massachusetts, and he was still technically a minor. I don?t think that buying fireworks was exactly what Dad had in mind when he gave Dean that fake ID, but he never found out.

The two of us drove out to a big field in the middle of nowhere, with the trunk of the Impala stuffed with fireworks, and we did what any pair of teenagers would have done if they were given the opportunity: we set them off.

We must have lasted ten minutes before the field caught fire, and then we made a run for it, but not before setting all of the rockets that we had left off in a big bang of glory. There was a small article about it in the local newspaper the next day. We had only missed the police by five minutes, from the sound of it.

Simply put, it was awesome. It?s the only time I can ever remember actually breaking the law for something other than a hunt, and it shouldn't make me feel so nostalgic, especially considering that I'm considering going into law as a major, but for whatever reason, it does. It?s one of my favorite memories, and one of the best that I have of being with Dean. It?s in the top five for sure.

I wonder if he remembers it.

Until next time,

Sam Winchester

 

LOL! That was amazing!

It's nice to know Sam had at least a semblance of normal life memories from his childhood.

Great post and I am, as always, axiously awaiting the next post.

Bravo!

 

Oh yeah, Dean remembers it alright.

So I've finally caught up with all the missed updates. I really like the normality Sam is trying to enjoy but the Hunter side keeps peeking out. As much as he says he wants to be "normal", he seems to miss being a Hunter as well.

Great updates!
And thanks for all those PM's.

 

Raphire: Thanks for your kind words! I think that Dean did his best to let Sam be a normal kid, even if he didn't always succeed.

Ceillean: Yes, Dean does, and I think he probably spends more time wondering if Sam thinks about than Sam does Dean. If that made any sense at all. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

And the PMs were no problem at all.

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Dear Journal,

July is a slow month. I've never really understood why, but that always seems to be the case, regardless of where I am.

Dad was never the sort of guy to take two weeks off the job and hang out at the beach, but July was still usually the quietest month we had. He was obsessed and he was drill-sergeant strict, but Dad was never outright cruel. July and August were always hot wherever we were, and it was often so intense that Dad didn't make Dean and I train outside. That's not to say that he let us sit around watching television all day, but I would much rather have been spending my time inside and looking up information on whatever hunt Dad was on than running a few miles with only sunscreen and the clothes on my back to keep the sun at bay.

I doubt Dean agreed with me, of course. He definitely took after Dad in that aspect: both of them would rather be slinging guns or sharpening knives than spending a few hours in a library or looking through public records (or breaking into sealed ones, for that matter.) The difference, of course, is that I never heard Dad complain about it. He did what was necessary, even if he didn?t like it.

Dean was never very subtle about his dislike for research, even though he usually didn?t complain in front of Dad. I wonder how they split the work now.

Regardless, my point is that I always liked July, and I still do now. My classes this month aren?t too stressful, the apartment is air-conditioned, and my jobs bring me in a steady income ?not a large one, but enough for my share of the rent, the necessities of college life, and a few dollars to set aside in case any unexpected expenses should arise. Everything is going fine.

The only problem is, I keep waiting for the catch. There has to be one. Nothing good ever lasts for long; that?s the first rule of being a Winchester, and over seven months is a long time, by my count.

I?m starting to get nervous, but at the same time, I?m wondering if I?ve crossed that fine line that goes between being realistic and being paranoid. It?s hard to
tell.

Until next time,

Sam Winchester

 

I really liked that one. It delved into Sam's head supurbly.

I never actually thought about the research that Dean and their Dad did while Sam was gone. I would guess his dad would do it for the most part but occasionally make Dean do it just to sharpen him.

*Sigh* Poor Jessica. I guess Sam had a reason to be paranoid.

Still curious about that whole situation. Sam should hurry up and steal her! Lol. Not really, write it in your own way. I'll be patient.

 

Raphire: Thanks for commenting! Not to worry: Jessica will be back... in an entry or so...

I've had to cut down the PM list due to unopened PM's, in case anyone is wondering why they didn't receive one this time around.

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Entry: Fifteen

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Dear Journal,

August in California is hot. That's one of the things that you learn when you're going to Stanford.

Other lessons include that it's socially acceptable to drive around without a shirt, if your ears aren't ringing when it's off, then your radio isn't turned up loudly enough, and that a lot of kids are scared of the giant man in the clown suit holding balloons emblazoned with the Klown Korner's logo.

I love California. At least, I think that I do. I suppose that it's equally likely that I just like having somewhere stable to live. It's oddly liberating to know that I won't have to pack up my bags in the middle of the night and hightail it out of here because the authorities found the werewolf's body.

The apartment isn't an extravagant place to live, but it's much better than most of the hotel rooms or cheap apartments that I grew up in. Really, this is little more than a glorified college dorm, not to mention that the sights you see as soon as you enter makes it glaringly obvious that we're either all college students or bachelors. Or, as the case happens to be, both. There's a reason that Ben never brings Jessica here anymore, and it can probably be found under the couch, gathering dust or growing mold. Or, again, both; it would appear that few things around here can be sorted into mutually exclusive categories.

I've only been in the apartment for a few months, but I prefer life here to life on campus. Ben, Brady and I plan to keep living here once next semester starts. Dave is moving back onto the college grounds.

Of course, all of this could change in the blink of an eye -"The best laid schemes of mice and men"- but for now, I'll take it for granted that it hasn't.

Until next time,

Sam Winchester

 

Good for the kids!

Well those laws seem to be passed here too. Lol

Axiously awaiting next post! With Jess in it!

 

Raphire: Here you go!

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Entry: Sixteen


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Dear journal,

I've been thinking a lot about love lately.

Actually, no. I haven't been thinking about it -rather, I've been listening to Ben think aloud about it. Or, to be completely honest, moan about how it doesn't really exist and quote a bunch of articles on psychology and how your emotions are all just chemicals racing through your blood and brain to prove it.

Needless to say, he broke up with Jess. I wasn't there when it happened, and I'm thanking every deity that I can think of that I wasn't.

Ben misjudged the relationship slightly. He thought that it would be a good idea to propose to Jess, even though they had only been going out for six months, and even though they're both college students who are currently wracking up enough debt in college funds to pay their rent for a decade or three. I'd just like to state here that I was not involved with the proposal in any way, and that Ben did not consult me before buying the ring and popping the question. Additionally, had he asked me first, I would not have hesitated to tell him what a bad idea it was.

Anyway, unfortunately for him, he decided that the proposal was best done in an extremely expensive restaurant along the coast. Apparently, everyone in the dining room was watching them while got down on one knee and then got rejected.

Jess seems to have dealt with it gracefully, although Ben doesn't think so. She was kind enough to not say "Never" to him, at least. Instead, she suggested that they take it slowly, and that she wasn't sure he was the one. On the ride back, she told him that she needed to consider things, and wanted to spend some time apart.

Ben took it well in front of her. Then he came home, broke the television set, and went out to a bar.

He's paying for the t.v., at least -actually, we're getting a new one. Apparently, sticking your foot through the screen has some nastily irreparable results.

I haven't seen Jess since Ben left her, which was about a week ago. I imagine it's going to be awkward if -or when- we meet up again. I heard from Brady, who heard it from a friend of Dave's girlfriend, that she's dealing well with the breakup, or at least better than Ben. Not that that's hard to do.

Love is painful, I suppose. I just wish that Ben wasn't lamenting about it quite so loudly; it makes studying a lot harder.

Until next time,

Sam Winchester

 

Poor Ben. If only he'd known that Jess and Sam are meant for each other he would have saved himself the heartache.

I still feel bad for him though. But not as bad as I feel happy that Jess and Sam are getting together soon!

Great Job!