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SW Ep II (Insert Pretentious Title Here) - FINISHED 11/07

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi-Jae, Mar 3, 2001.

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  1. Senator Lorena

    Senator Lorena Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2000
  2. Jedi-Jae

    Jedi-Jae Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2001
    Should have a post later tonight - right now I have to take the kids to soccer practice I know, I know, I'm a soccer mom - literally and figuratively! :)
     
  3. Jedi-Jae

    Jedi-Jae Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2001
    Padmé ran quickly through the pre-flight checks. The shuttle she had leased was old, but in good condition. Most importantly, the hyperdrive was well-kept. It would get her safely to Tatooine, then back home. She would have to arrange for someone to return it to Coruscant later. As far as she knew, there was no branch for Crazy Eddie?s Superb Rental Shuttles on Naboo.

    As she powered up the shuttle, the vehicle?s proximity alarm went off. Someone was standing too close to the ship for her to bring the engines to full power. Looking through the cockpit?s side window, she saw a small figure with a large duffel bag standing beside the place where the ramp would be when it was lowered. //Sabé. I should have known.//

    She opened the side window. ?Sabé, move away from the ship,? she ordered. The handmaiden didn?t budge. ?Sabé, I can?t take off if you don?t move,? she ground out through clinched teeth. She was starting to get angry. Sabé crossed her arms and turned to face her, expressionless. She was obviously determined to get her way.

    The handmaiden would not move far enough away to allow her to lift off, no matter how loudly Padmé yelled at her. Huffing in frustration, she slapped the ramp control. //I ought to override the alarm and toast her when I take off//, she thought sourly. Sabé appeared in the cockpit a moment later. Padmé silently waved her into the co-pilot?s seat, then powered up the engines and took off.

    She guided the shuttle into the air lanes and scanned the sky. She spotted a large passenger liner lumbering towards space. Accelerating a bit, Padmé slid in underneath the big ship and matched its speed. She kept the shuttle in the liner?s shadow until they were past Coruscant Traffic Control, then peeled away and punched Tatooine?s coordinates into the navicomputer. As soon as the computer returned the route, she grabbed the hyperdrive control arm and turned it. The stars elongated as the shuttle went to lightspeed.

    ?Why are we sneaking away?? Sabé?s voice broke the silence. Padmé glanced at her, then busied herself with the ship?s panel. ?You didn?t announce us to Traffic Control, so there?s no record of our departure.?

    ?Handmaiden, I told you to stay in the apartment and decoy for me,? Padmé said icily, her voice dropping into the tones she used as the Queen. ?You disobeyed.?

    ?I?m sorry, *Your Highness*,? Sabé said acidly, ?but there was no way in hell I was letting you run off to that sandbox of a planet by yourself. It?s too dangerous. I don?t care how cleverly you planned to disguise yourself.?

    ?This is a personal matter, Sabé. I?m acting as Padmé, not as the Queen.?

    ?You can?t separate the two. Padmé is the Queen,? Sabé argued. ?And since the Queen couldn?t be bothered to tell her Chief of Security where she is going, her personal bodyguard and best friend is tagging along.? Her eyes bored into Padmé?s.

    Padmé reached out and squeezed Sabé?s arm, touched by her friend?s loyalty. ?I appreciate your company, Sabé, but it was not necessary for you to follow me.?

    Sabé grinned. ?It was as much for my protection as yours,? she said. Padmé cocked an eyebrow questioningly. ?You think I want to be hanging around when Panaka discovers you?re gone? I?d hate to be in Rabé?s shoes when he gets back from his meeting.?

    ?Rabé is pulling decoy duty? How?d you manage that??

    ?I didn?t give her a choice,? replied Sabé. ?Besides, you know she?s not intimidated by Panaka. She won?t tell.?

    ?Maybe not,? said Padmé, ?but what about the others??

    ?No problem there. They?re more afraid of *me* than they are of *him*.? Sabé grinned evilly.

    Padmé snickered. Her handmaidens generally got along well, but Sabé?s quick temper and sharp tongue had cut through all of them at one time or another. She usually got what she wanted.

    Sabé sobered. ?You didn?t answer my question. Why did we sneak away from Coruscant??

    ?I didn?t have enough cash, so I had to use a credit chip to pay for the shuttle. Panaka will trace that easily. But since we di
     
  4. princess-sari

    princess-sari Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2000
    "Oh, no," is right! Poor Ani!

    Very sneaky of Padme, leaving like that. I'm glad Sabe is with her. Now I'm just afraid of what they will find when they reach Tatooine.

    Great post, Jedi-Jae!! :D
     
  5. Labria_uk

    Labria_uk Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2000
    Hmm I like the latest post, great work. I'll keep an eye out for further posts.
     
  6. Senator Lorena

    Senator Lorena Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2000
    Very well written.

    Eager for more!
     
  7. MzAmethystCrow

    MzAmethystCrow Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2001
    OoooOo...This is getting soooo good!! Keep it up!!
     
  8. AngelQueen

    AngelQueen Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2001
    Oh dear... Poor Ani!!!!

    "Oh no..." Thats right girl! Hurry to Tatooine!

    AngelQueen
     
  9. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
    I love it!!!! ;)
     
  10. Ashamaphone

    Ashamaphone Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 27, 2001
    more, More, MORE!!!!
     
  11. Jedi-Jae

    Jedi-Jae Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2001
  12. Jedi-Jae

    Jedi-Jae Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2001
    I had a tough time with these next few posts - hope they're OK.

    <<indicates telepathic communication>> Why do italics seem so much more versatile? :(

    ---------------

    Anakin clutched the freighter?s controls tightly, sweat pouring off of him. With the engines shut down, it took all of his concentration to keep the vessel at the proper descent angle. With the shields gone, he had to control the ship precisely so that it wouldn?t burn up in the atmosphere. He used the Force to cover his and the captain?s life signs, and to control the temperature. Despite his efforts, the cockpit was still getting hot.

    The Dune Sea grew larger in the viewport as the ship tumbled toward the surface. //A little closer?now!// He fired the engines and leveled the freighter out fifty meters above the desert plain. The flight controls had been damaged and the handling was a little rough, but he was no longer in any danger of crashing. He quickly got his bearings and banked towards Mos Espa, skimming the ship low over the hot sands.

    ?Hey, I?m going to set it down on the outskirts. You can leave whenever you?? He trailed off as he looked over his shoulder. The captain lay on the floor in the corner of the cockpit with his head tilted at an impossible angle.

    //Sith!// He hadn?t given the old spacer a chance to strap in before throwing the freighter into its wild gyrations. Now the man was dead, his neck broken from being hurled around the cockpit. Anakin had been so intent on their escape that he hadn?t even noticed. //Well, at least now I have a ship to take Mom away.//

    <<Hurry, Ani, hurry!>> The voice was back. And so was the panic. It peaked as he crested a large dune and Mos Espa came into view. Smoke billowed from the city. He saw the triangular fighters zipping away, headed for space. Anakin punched the engines to full power, not caring if he incinerated every life-form within ten kilometers.

    //Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods...// The words tumbled around in his head over and over. His hands shook as he flew toward the city. //Please, please, please don?t let her be hurt!//

    His worst fears seemed to be confirmed as he flashed over the city. There were fires everywhere, and much of the business district was reduced to rubble. Anakin?s heart leapt into his throat. The thickest smoke was billowing from the Slave Quarter. He desperately looked for a place to land.

    He barely bothered with the landing thrusters, dropping the ship into a somewhat clear area outside the Slave Quarter. He landed with a hard jolt, causing every rivet in the old vessel to protest. The floor was tilted. //Must?ve landed on something//, he thought fleetingly as he raced toward the ramp. He punched the ramp control, throwing himself off the end of it as soon as there was enough clearance for his head.

    //Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods...// He raced through the dusty streets, his panic fed by the stench of burning flesh and the choking smoke in his throat. The air crackled with ionization from energy weapons, making his hair stand on end. He ignored the painful Force ripples from the dying people around him as he clambered through the rubble, frantic to reach the slave hovels.

    He skidded to a halt, his heart threatening to hammer right out of his chest. The Slave Quarter was decimated. Thick, oily smoke rose from the burning hovels, stinging his eyes and burning his lungs. The screams of the dying echoed in his ears. Breathless in his terror, he pulled his cloak across his mouth and nose and made his way through the chaos. He quickly arrived at Shmi?s hovel, one of the few not on fire.

    But not untouched. The door hung askew and the roof was crushed. Anakin shouldered the broken door aside and screamed, ?Mom! Mom!?

    He frantically searched the small dwelling, but found no sign of her. Where was she? He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself, then reached out into the Force. He cried out as the anger, confusion and shock of thousands of beings assaulted him. He closed his eyes and
     
  13. princess-sari

    princess-sari Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2000
    Wow, talk about a cliffhanger!

    Will he save her? Or will it be too late?

    I hope you tell us soon, Jae!!

    BTW, I love the imagery in this post. It's not particularly happy, but it was very vivid. I love it when I can visualize what is happening in a story, and you accomplished that here very well.
    Excellent post!!

    (And I know what you mean about italics, too. ;) )
     
  14. Labria_uk

    Labria_uk Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 18, 2000
    Ahh, that was good and a cliffhanger, Hmm I'm already eager awaiting the next part.
     
  15. Jedi-Jae

    Jedi-Jae Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2001
    Thanks, sari and labria! I appreciate the feedback!

    I actually first wrote this post a couple of days after my mom collapsed in the middle of the night and had to go to the hospital. A lot of what Ani is feeling is the way I felt when I was laying rubber trying to get to her house. I think I set a couple of land speed records on the way. I beat the ambulance. All I could think was "Oh, God, oh, God, please don't let her die!" Very scary. She was OK - turned out to be low blood pressure.

    Anyway, glad you liked it!



     
  16. Senator Lorena

    Senator Lorena Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2000


    That was fantasitic! Can't wait for more.

    Ani is getting darker and darker while trying to help someone he loves. Very tragic.

    Glad to know your mother is all right. I understand the fear related to an ill parent.

     
  17. Jedi-Jae

    Jedi-Jae Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2001
    Just an up - Darth Boss is being particularly Sithly. "The Notes server and all clients WILL be upgraded by tomorrow afternoon! And oh, btw, the wiring closet looks like **** - go through and re-colorcode the cables and patch panels!" Grrrr....

    <<J-J, contemplating murder>>
     
  18. Senator Lorena

    Senator Lorena Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2000
    Do you have to work on the computer wiring? I hope not! Sounds awful! :eek:
     
  19. MzAmethystCrow

    MzAmethystCrow Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2001
    This is great...this is so great....I love reading this... :)
     
  20. Jedi-Jae

    Jedi-Jae Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 12, 2001
    Thanks, amethyst! I'm glad you're enjoying it!


    Senator - Yes, unfortunately I do work on the wiring for our network. It's not usually a problem, because we set it up initially to allow for a good bit of expansion, which means I get to minimize the time I spend crawling around in the false ceiling (I'm the smallest person in my department, so I get stuck with that).

    The reason I'm so bent out of shape is because I spent an entire weekend last month rebuilding the wiring closet, putting in new racks and cable guides, punching down patch panels and re-cabling all the users to the hubs, complete with color-coded cable. And now I'm re-doing it because pointy-haired Darth Boss doesn't like the colors I chose for the cables! <<pauses to control rage>>

    The Notes upgrade was no big deal, I just finished that. The only problem with that will be the 20 or so users that I disconnected from their e-mail because they somehow missed the message that popped up on their screens every day this week when they logged in, telling them that the Lotus Notes server would be down from 11:30 to 12:30 today for an upgrade, so please log out during that time. Grrrrrr?..

    Sorry, I'm ranting! I probably sound like one of those arrogant MIS people who think that everyone else is stupid about computers. I don't, really! I'm usually very user-friendly, but I really dislike correcting the same mistakes made by the same people over and over again.
    ---------------------------------------
    USER: My screen is black. I can't see anything.

    J-J: The power button in the lower right-hand corner of the monitor works wonders.
    --------------------------------------
    You may laugh, but I get stuff like this all the time!

    <<J-J weeps as she contemplates a Saturday in the wiring closet>>
     
  21. princess-sari

    princess-sari Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2000
    Poor J-J! Sounds like a not-very-nice way to spend a Saturday. :(

    Heh heh. That "Why is my screen black?" sounds like something I would do. (Actually, I did that once, sort of. I was using a friend's camcorder and couldn't figure out why there was no picture. You got it--I forgot to take the lens cap off. :p )

    Oh, and I'm glad your mom is okay, too, J-J!
     
  22. QueenSabe7

    QueenSabe7 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2001
    This is soooo good!! This is pretty darn close to how I imagine E2 will be! Im glad Sabe went with Padme and Im *very* glad they went after Anakin. He is VERY troubled...
    P L E A S E post again soon. I dont know if I can stand to wait much longer!! :_|

    UP!!
     
  23. AngelQueen

    AngelQueen Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2001
    Uh oh.............................. Shmi's in trouble! Hurry Ani! Help her!! And Ami! Get there quick! Ani and Shmi need help!

    This is great Jedi-Jae! Hurry up with more! Keep up the great work!

    AngelQueen
     
  24. ThatJediGirl

    ThatJediGirl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 11, 2001
    Oooh, a cliffhanger. :( This is going really good! Can't wait for more! Post soon! ;)
     
  25. QueenSabe7

    QueenSabe7 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2001
    Page 5?? :eek:
    Queen Sabe to the rescue!!
    UP, UP, and UP! ;)
     
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