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Before - Legends Swings and Roundabouts (JA - RR) *Final post *

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jemmiah, Nov 17, 2003.

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  1. Labria_uk

    Labria_uk Jedi Master star 3

    Aug 18, 2000
    I still wonder exactly what this punishment is, and the idea of Bull Neck on a wild hooverchair is very funny.

    It will be intresting to see who wins the maze wager.
  2. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    He see before you (well, in a manner of speaking) a very happy girl indeed! :) Because the nice man who surveyed the drive of my house for the new path, and who happens to live a few houses away from Ewan McGregor's mother in Crieff, told her I was a bit of a fan of Ewan's and kindly asked her to get the man himself to sign something pour moi - and now thanks to Carol McG I have a nice, signed pic of her son! :D :D :D

    Of course that merrits more smilies but I'd probably get writer's cramp adding them all in! So, I guess this post is dedicated to 'Gerry!' The most helpful surveyor that breathed! :)


    Simeon grunted, wandered up ahead and turned right, grunted again?and then walked all the way back to his companions.

    "Nope." He sighed, holding his black braid up to his mouth and chewing on the end. "Not that way."

    Hmiol looked down at his feet, genuinely embarrassed, his cheeks flaming a rosy red.

    "Sorry." He mumbled, falling instantly back into his old habit of monosyllabic utterances now that the spotlight had been turned back on himself. He cursed his luck at having to follow Simeon and Tanni around like a lame duck. That's what happened whenever he offered an opinion, put his head above the proverbial parapet or stuck his neck out in anyway: he ended up being shot down in a magnificent cloud of flames! All he'd attempted to do was to give his Jedi comrades the benefit of his wisdom?

    Just a pity he turned out to be so utterly wrong.

    "This should be an absolute stroll for us!" Tanni complained. "Three Jedi padawans and we can't find our way round a maze?"

    "We were doing perfectly fine until we listened to somebody's advice." Simeon replied loftily, eyeing Hmiol with all the warmth he'd normally reserve for a poisonous spider hiding under a fresher seat. "If you remember we both wanted to go left but somebody who will remain nameless," he coughed pointedly into his clenched fist, "insisted that as he could find his way blindfold beneath the sewers of Coruscant he had the maze well and truly 'sussed' out. And what happened?"

    "You didn't have to listen." Groused Garos, wondering if Maye was getting as much verbal abuse from Rela and her tattoo covered friend as he was from Simeon and Tanni.

    "?A dead end!" Simeon continued mercilessly before having the decency to at least lower his voice so that the butt of his sarcasm couldn't hear him; "A bit like someone whose name I won't even bother to mention."

    Tanni sniffed the air ahead, trying to use his superior sense of smell to find a scent - any scent - which might take them in the correct direction. What should they do next, he wondered? Ahead and turn left? Back the way they came? At least if they retraced their steps they'd find themselves at a place where they could start afresh, but just thinking of all the time they had wasted jogging up and down the identical looking metal tunnels, with their dull, red lighting casting an eerie blood-like appearance over the surfaces?it made Tanni want to chew his way through the wall, even at the cost of his teeth!

    Simeon ran a hand over the corrugated plating and sighed, trying to focus on the task in hand just as An-Paj always told him to. He didn't have Tanni's sense of smell but he could possibly utilise the force to perform what in many ways was a similar task. A person of any kind of species left behind pockets or traces of emotions wherever they went: like an invisible slug trail was how his master had once described it to him. With a little concentration he might be able to pick up on such a trail and follow it, hopefully leading him to the exit, fresh air and open skies?not to mention the added bonus of a free meal.

    Unfortunately the trails that Simeon managed to pick up on all headed straight for Planet Misery, to whit the same dead end that Hmiol had inadvertently lured them. There was not one happy thought that Simeon could get a grip on long enough to follow. It was like trying to grab hold of a bath load of soapy eels! Dejected, Simeon thumped the metal wall with his
  3. Labria_uk

    Labria_uk Jedi Master star 3

    Aug 18, 2000
    Simeon shouldnt have attempted to speak Hrobek foolish boy...

    And the idea of cheating in a maze in such a way is a common idea, perhaps the jedi have excuse if they get caught "Everyone does it?"
  4. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Heehee, Hrobek. It reminds me of the time my mom thought you could speak South american spanish to northern Italians and make yourself understood completely.

    Will be posting very soon.
  5. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    "Are we nearly there yet?" Rela muttered, one hand outstretched and linked with childlike trust to Maye Kline who was acting as party navigator. Her other hand was held behind her, fingers woven with unrelenting pressure between those of Geri Pippage. Throughout the whole tedious process Rela had kept her eyes scrunched shut, concentrating so hard on compressing her lids together that not even the force could have easily levered them open again. Maye, ever the optimist, had decided that tact and sensitivity were the best way in which to deal with Rela's aversion to claustrophobic, dark spaces. Spider on the other hand remained her usual blunt and brutally honest self.

    "Nope." She grunted. "We're about half a yard further down the corridor since the last time you asked. It might help if you shuffled a little bit faster. By the time you get out all the padawans will have grown beards!"

    "And that's just the women." Replied Maye, attempting to inject some levity to the situation. "Seriously Rela, you're doing just great. A little faster would be good, but still it's not bad considering?"

    "Considering we're stuck in a dark, tin plated maze wandering aimlessly round and round and round until we happen to stumble on the way out." Rela's voice curdled like rancid Bantha milk in hot weather, beads of perspiration beginning to form on her brow. "I'm really not enjoying this at all."

    Spider knocked on the metal sheeting, the unexpected clanging sound causing Rela to jump.

    "Pretty flimsy stuff, this." She said thoughtfully, giving the wall a few more loud raps with her knuckles. "A pity we didn't have one of those lightsabre things. It would have made short work of this."

    "That's cheating." Maye observed, although not sounding terribly upset by the idea.

    "Seriously, this stuff is thin and weak in places. I think it's incase you hurt yourself by walking into a poorly lit dead-end; there's plenty of give in it. You know, I could probably kick a hole in it and we could escape?"

    "I think they'd notice the noise, wouldn't they?" Rela's sarcasm hadn't been dampened by her dislike of confined spaces. "Can we please keep moving, huh? That way it feels less like the ceiling's going to collapse on my head."

    They made for an odd sight; the three young women all linked together in a wide apart chain. Maye continued to lead from the front with her customary determination and drive (something that had come in for a lot of practice ever since she had taken up with Garos Hmiol) but Rela continued to shuffle along as if she were wearing giant fluffy slippers that were ten sizes too big for her feet, with the rather disinterested Spider bring up the rear. People often said that silence was golden but Rela didn't appreciate it at that moment. All she wanted was for someone to say something - anything - to take her mind off her predicament. Whilst she regarded herself as strong-willed there was little to counter the knowledge that she was theoretically entombed until they managed to stumble across the way out. Why didn't somebody say something??? It didn't have to be intellectual. It didn't have to be mindless chatter either?just as long as it was something!

    "Wonder what Jemmy's up to." She muttered, inching her way forwards with her eyes still screwed shut.

    "Up to no good with Obi-Wan, I shouldn't wonder." Snickered Spider, recollecting the image of the naked padawan in Rela's living room shielded only by a conveniently placed cushion. "Still, if it keeps her occupied then who am I to complain? Could you imagine what it would be like if she was in here with us?"

    "Considerably more fun than it is now." Rela groaned, nearly tripping over the back of Maye's boots. "Why did I let Simeon and Tanni talk me into this? I HATE underground tunnels! What do they think I am, some kind of troglodyte or something?"

    Spider paused. "I still think we could kick a hole in the wall?"

    "You'll have to watch that violent streak of yours." Rela warned her, gurning into the darkness.

    "That's rich coming from the girl whose favo
  6. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    OMG that's so cool Jem!! I bet that did make you day... your week in fact.

    Uh, uh, uh... no fair cheating. Plus damamging the maze may very well be as expensive as paying for dinner. Same on you Tanni, I didn't think you'd agree to cheating.

    LOL!! Love the saying on Rela's shirt! Hmmm, wonder what the girls rescuer really looks like.

    Jem, those were awesome posts!!
  7. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    Jemmiah - I tried to grab hold of his ankle as he went past but it was to no avail ? ROTFL!

    "We're lost." - How embarassing! [face_blush]

    They don't need another reason to cheat, except that it's genetic and it comes easy to them like breathing." - ROTFL! Brilliant posts! Can't wait to see what happens next.

    :) At your signed pic!
  8. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    I have to admit to still smiling at the Ewan pic! It sort of kicks my Roger Black and Neil Gaiman autographs into touch! :)

    And that's saying something coz I'm rather fond of Roger Black! ;)


    She was looking distinctly settled, Spider thought wryly, as she watched Rela playing the helpless damsel to the hilt. It probably wasn't a role that she'd had much call to play before considering how well she managed to look after herself, yet credit where it was due: the girl was giving the performance of a lifetime! Provided she remembered to keep her eyes shut and generally look as if she were pathetic and helpless with her non-swollen ankle then there was no reason to suggest they wouldn't get out of the maze within a matter of minutes to win their bet!

    Always assuming the boys hadn't got their cheating in first.

    The young man who was carrying Rela seemed kind of familiar too although Spider didn't really have a clue why that would be - or where she might possibly have seen him before. The more she stared at him the more familiar he appeared! Had she met him some place? Perhaps their paths had crossed in a professional capacity? Had she tattooed him in some specific, secretive place? Cursing softly, Spider set about thinking of how she could possibly drag the man's identity into the open without jeopardising their mission.

    "So?" She hesitated a moment, looking at the rippling arm muscles that supported Rela as easily as if she'd been a rag doll. "You work at the park, yes?"

    He nodded in a pleasant enough fashion although Spider got the impression she might have struck a bit of a nerve. Great, had she screwed up already?

    "Yes, I do." He agreed with a tiny purse of his lips, considering what to say. "Amongst other things. I help out here when the amusement park sweeps into Coruscant. I'm not a permanent member of the staff. By that I mean," he clarified when catching Maye's baffled look, "that I don't follow the show around from planet to planet. This is merely a seasonal job that helps to supplement my wages elsewhere."

    "Ah." Spider's metal eye-rings collided with one another as she brought her brows together in a frown. "I see?at least I think I do. Nevermind. So, if you don't mind me asking," she cocked her head appraisingly to one side and casually allowed her eyes to drift over the young man's frame, "what do you do when you're not working at the park? No - let me guess! With a physique like that you've got to be a swimmer! No?something altogether more heroic: how about a lifeguard?"

    "Or maybe something involving carrying heavy weights?" Maye chimed in.

    "Are you trying to say I'm a Hutt?" Rela grumbled, stirring slightly out of her comfortable position. "I may be small but squat and dumpy I'm not!"

    Rela felt the man's warm breath against her cheek.

    "No, you're certainly not a Hutt!" He replied mirthfully, holding her closer as if to demonstrate she was no real problem to carry. "Not enough ticks!"

    "Hey!" Rela huffed.

    "Only joking! You're far too pretty to be a Hutt, if you'll permit me to observe."

    Rela's interest was well and truly piqued at that point: if she'd been a hoppity then her ears would have been twitching in every conceivable direction! Mind you, if she'd been a hoppity it was doubtful that the man would be quite so complimentary, unless he had a thing for rodents. And the odd thing about it all was that Rela?well; she actually believed what he was saying! There seemed no artifice or guile in his manner: his voice was warm, friendly and pleasant. Nor was it the confident, bragging type of voice that she'd long since come to associate with the Ramhoggers that prowled the cubs and cantina looking for easy pick-ups. It was all?natural!

    Force preserve her - maybe he genuinely liked her!

    Why oh why couldn't she see what he looked like! It was soooooo unfair! She wanted to kick Spider in the shin for making her pretend to be blind! Even although she knew he wouldn't have offered to carry her if she was fully capable of getting around all by herself?

  9. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Jem, I'm so jealous. My fave autograph is the one a good friend got for me from Viggo Mortensen, but it's simply a short message, a heart, and his name. A pic of the first guy in a movie I ever had a crush on, how yummy!

    Hilarious post as always.

    Where has the rest of the writing crew gone? I'll be posting today, then a lot on monday-thursday. Right now, however, I'm in a mad rush because my mom's leaving on monday for the week and I have to have my crinoline, underpinnings, corset, hose, shoes, etc. ready for a dress fitting on tuesday. And I have 12 hours to do it, in which time I also have to sleep and go to the gym. AUGH! My adventure with step aerobics was a lot like Li's soiree with the guy at the gym at the beginning of this story. I HATEHATEHATE the teacher. I had her for a yoga class and went to step aerobics at 11 because she wouldn't be there, but she decided to take on that class as well.
  10. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    Oh, I doubt there's few people who'd turn down the chance of Viggo's autograph - I know I wouldn't, and I'm one of the few people in the galaxy who isn't that enamoured with LOTR! :)

    "I had her for a yoga class and went to step aerobics at 11 because she wouldn't be there, but she decided to take on that class as well."

    The force is playing tricks on you. Horrible, horrible tricks...

    Actually, good point! Where'd everyone go? Was it something I said? Something I've written? Or is it that cursed Darth Real-Life again? Grrr...he's becoming my evil nemesis! I can see I'm going to have to smote him with a pair of Obi-Wan's socks...

    * Take that! Be gone, varlet! *

  11. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    I love that Rela can esily srep into the role of helpless female, thougg I've only started reading the post and who knows how many things can yet go wrong... [face_laugh] Hmm, from the guess the girls are making about their rescuer, he must be nicely built. :D "I adore freckles. They're so?freckly!" -- Awwwww. Ricksen? Oh no... Rela's quick-witted. She should start by saying she's going in for surgery tomorrow to have her eyes fixed... or something.

    Roger Black and Neil Gaiman? Jem, you'll have to clue me in as to who they are. I'll make a guess of soccer players? And since we're talking autographs I'll to boast having Ray Parks and my very fave is James Marsters having signed a pic of himself in Jedi robes ala Barin Thruthfinder. :D :D My dream one would be Sean Bean as Dex.

  12. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    Jemmiah - Or maybe something involving carrying heavy weights?" - ROTFL! Oh poor Rela! How is she going to explain her miraculous recovery?

    Most of my signed photos are from West End musical stars. Although I do have a close up photo of George Lucas from the AOTC premiere. I think I blinded him with my flash and a slightly distant photo of him, Sam, Hayden and Ian! :)
  13. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    Erk - I have to admit defeat here. I have three quarters of a post but I'm REALLY not happy with it at all. Infact it's kind of ghastly! As it's late in the UK right now I'm going to re-work and post it tomorrow, and switch round and make today my non-posting day.

    Sorry about that! :(

    Nice guess re Roger Black and Neil Gaiman. You're on the right track (pardon the terrible pun) with Roger in that he is a sportsman: he was an Olympic silver medalist in the mens 400m. Came second to Michael Johnston (sp?). Now he's an extremely good BBC sports presenter. Neil Gaiman is an author, usually in the sci-fi/fantasy line. My friend got me his autograph for my birthday one year when he was signing at a sci-fi convention in Australia.

    And then there's the time I got ex-jockey Richard Pitman's autograph. Let's just say he's an absolute charmer and a delight to talk to, even though I was slightly star-struck! :)
  14. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    "You did it on purpose." Qui-Gon muttered as the wheelchair trundled along, his padawan obediently pushing the conveyance in which Jemmiah rested.

    Obi-Wan feigned surprise even if he'd known his master would take that suspicious tone with him: frankly he'd have been shocked if he hadn't given the Jinn/Demodae hotel pass incident any further thought. That Qui-Gon had been so calm about it could only bode ill in terms of the nature of the punishment he'd confided in Jemmiah. Probably it was so bad that he could set fire to his master's robe and it still wouldn't make any difference!

    Maybe he could try it out and see?

    "I don't know what you mean." Obi-Wan replied, seemingly without a care in the galaxy.

    "The chair, padawan." Qui-Gon motioned at the infernal contraption.

    The smile on Obi-Wan's face went from subtle to knowing in a space of seconds. "What's wrong with it, master?"

    "You know fine what I am referring to." Qui-Gon's reply was instant. "The squeaking! You deliberately got a chair with a squeak just to set my teeth on edge!"

    Even Jemmiah was laughing at his reaction. She leaned over and patted the cushioned wheel rims as if it were an old friend.

    "Home away from home." She sighed blissfully. "I could close my eyes and I could be back at the temple in my old friend the squeaky chair from hell itself! You know, it almost makes every trip to the infirmary worthwhile! I look at that chair?the little dents in its metal work?the small scratches in its paint, and I think: I did that! I wrecked that chair! It's little things like that which make the world go round!"

    "I wish those wheels would go round without squeaking." Qui-Gon replied, balefully shooting Obi-Wan with an indefatigable stare. "You're enjoying this all far too much."

    "You said to get one that didn't hover." Obi-Wan replied respectfully. "I followed your orders to the letter. I had to haggle to get this! These non-repulsar chairs aren't in demand now. They only keep a few for those who can't stand the idea of floating a couple of feet off the ground. Apparently there's a medical phobia of repulsar chairs, did you know that?"

    "Fascinating." Qui-Gon sighed, scanning the horizon for any sign of the original chair and it's equally wayward hijacker. To be honest he wasn't certain if he wanted the wretched contraption to turn up at all considering all the trouble it was causing, and whilst it may well have been the initial source of misery his padawan was having a pretty good attempt at running it a close second! "No sign of it, or our security friend. It definitely headed this way, though. We both saw it?"


    "Sounds like somebody's put Tube Rat in a food mixer." Obi-Wan had the temerity to snicker into his collar, for which Jemmiah dealt him a reproving smack on the wrist.

    "Don't let Rela catch you saying that." Jemmiah warned him, knowing only too well how fond her friend was of Mrs Krabople's pet ferret. Just because Tube Rat and Obi-Wan hadn't exactly hit it off didn't mean he should go around cracking unadvised jokes about doing away with the sociable little creature: especially when Rela might just take them the wrong way. If there was one thing Jemmiah had learned it was not to incur the wrath of the mighty Ms Quinn. It was less painful to stay on her side than it was to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, at least if some of the stories she told were true.


    "That's it." Qui-Gon planted his feet firmly together and refused to take another step. "Stop right there! I'm not going anywhere with that?thing!"

    "Well I'm not walking!" Jemmiah said hotly. "It's physically impossible!"

    Both turned to look expectantly at Obi-Wan.

    "Padawan, would you look for?" Qui-Gon began.

    "No! Absolutely not." Obi-Wan's face did something Qui-Gon had rarely seen: showed outright signs of mutiny. "I'm sure I'm not the only one capable of tracking down?"

    Qui-Gon threw his padawan a wink. "Only joking."

    This time it was Jemmiah's turn to offer a snerk of laughter: it
  15. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Oct 1, 1999
    Heheheheeee... but what about the swoop ride?
  16. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Yay! I'm glad Qui-Gon managed to crack a joke than get upset with Obi-Wa but as far as jokes on Obi's expense I thought those were the only jokes Qui-Gon made??? :D :D I love how quickly the guys admitted deafeat when Rela suggested that Qui-Gon determine the winners. [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
  17. Labria_uk

    Labria_uk Jedi Master star 3

    Aug 18, 2000
    Nice couple of posts, I wonder what happened/will between Rela & Ricksen. Surely he will catch her out.

    Also wonder where Bull Neck has gotten to.
  18. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 29, 1999
    Hooray for me! I'm finally able to catch up!

    No I hadn't gone anywhere. Just been dealing with a nice virus then forced to go to the in-laws over the weekend. :p

    Rela, I think you jinxed yourself when you said your luck was turning around. Then again do you really want to go out with Ricksen when he didn't even recoginize you from the gum?? Didn't think so.

    Way to use that finger poke to good use. That's what those padawans get for cheating! :D

    Fabulous posts Jem!! :) :)
  19. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    Obi-Wan pushed Jemmiah's chair up towards Rela, sporting a Hutt-sized grin that would have deflected sunlight off buildings with its brightness. There was something about Rela's smile that instantly made him want to break into a chuckle, it was just so infectious! Then of course there was the obvious fact that she were stood between two padawan bookends with matching cuts and bruises. It wasn't that he took any pleasure in seeing Hmiol or Simeon in obvious discomfort but the sight was certainly enough to instigate an ironic upward twitch of an eyebrow!

    "Looks like two gargoyles!" Obi-Wan guffawed, parking Jemmy's chair next to Rela. "What on Coruscant did you do to Simeon?!?"

    Simeon muttered something vague and incomprehensible.

    "I didn't do a thing." Rela replied, perfectly calm and rational now that she'd manoeuvred the boys into admitting they had cheated. "He tried to ask somebody the way out of the maze, but that person turned out to be a Hrobek. Who promptly hit him in the nose." She added.

    "But Simeon doesn't speaks Hrobek." Obi-Wan frowned. "Does he?"

    Simeon grunted.

    "You've not be using that awful 'teach yourself insert-chosen-difficult-language-of-choice' book chip again, have you?" Obi-Wan exclaimed suddenly, knowing that as he did so he was almost certain to be correct. "Simeon?you're going to get yourself murdered!"

    "I feel as if I already have been." Simeon replied, accompanied by a disgusting burbling noise as his sniffed back the congealed blood in his nostrils.

    "What is going on here?" Qui-Gon asked, folding his arms importantly. "Why do both these padawans look as if they've lost a Gundark-wrestling match?"

    Obi-Wan bit his lip, and then decided it was time he came clean about what he knew.

    "Simeon, please throw those book chips away?" He pleaded with the young man. "It's a noble effort but it's one that's going to cost you either your head or your reputation?" He turned round exasperatedly to face Jemmiah. "I thought he would have guessed by now?"

    "Guessed?" Simeon growled. "Guessed what? I don't see what's so bad at trying to learn other languages! All I want to do is be able to converse with the patients on a personal one-to-one basis. Translator units are so impersonal!"

    "I'm sure it's an attitude we'd all be advised to take." Qui-Gon regarded Obi-Wan pointedly. "I can't see the harm in wanting to better oneself, or take care with one's studies."

    "Yes master." Obi-Wan acknowledged with a slight bow. "As long as one is working from an official and authorised language chip! And I have reason to believe that Simeon's book chip is?how shall we say," He fished for the right words, "a little suspect?"

    "In what way suspect?" Rela asked, greatly intrigued.

    This time Jemmiah supplied the answer. "Dubious translations? You know the kind of thing: you approach somebody in a bar, say - a Yuzzam - and then quite innocently you ask them if they want a drink?and it turns out that you've just told them you want to subject them to a rather impersonal strip-search on top of the games table." She shrugged at Simeon. "Just a rough idea."

    "What?!?" He exclaimed, holding the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

    "Where did you get the book chip from, Simeon?" Qui-Gon sighed.

    "Well?" He hesitated for a moment. "It was Ned Sequedes. He said he wasn't needing it anymore."

    "And three guesses if you need it where HE got it from!" Jemmy laughed joyously.

    Simeon's face darkened. "JAY!"

    "Don't be quick to accuse Jay." Obi-Wan stepped in hurriedly. "It might not have been him. Is there anyone else you've managed to annoy in the last few weeks, Simeon?"

    "Try the entire temple." Garos mumbled, receiving a prod in the ribs from Maye.

    "It was on the holo news just over a month ago." Jemmiah continued, her heart almost melting to see Simeon's pathetic and wounded expression. "Certain 'unauthorised' copies have accidentally filtered their way from the joke shops into mainstream retail bases, having been wrongly labelled and packaged. The result being that people hav
  20. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    It was bad enough that they were being towed through the park like a naughty pack of two-year-olds, Ana's very disgruntled Master in the lead, but then Yrin had the sudden urge to assert his rebellious streak. His hand wrapped around her wrist and she found herself being half-dragged through the thronging crowd as fast as space would allow them.

    "What the Sith do you..."

    His hand clamped over her mouth as Khil half-turned. "We're going home," he hissed, "but not on his terms and not yet."

    He dropped into a crouch, moving with surprising speed. Not able or willing to argue, Ana scrambled after him.

    "So, where do you think we're going?" she demanded. "We have to take cover quickly or he'll catch up to us before you can say 'Shockball.'"

    "The one place he'd never dare go and that you've been trying to get to all day," he assured her. "If he hasn't had a major personality change, the name alone will keep him at a distance."

    They exploded from the crouch, running to the queue just inside the towering edifice.

    "No wonder," Ana grunted. "The Massive Crush isn't the most comforting of titles."
    "Regular ride or are you feeling lucky?"

    "Lucky," they both said.

    The attendant glanced at them, gauging their age, slight builds, and the peculiar braids that they both sported, but either didn't recognize a desperate Jedi when he saw one or figured that they were old enough to be independently stupid without further encouragement from him and young enough not to know better.

    "Great," he boomed. "Welcome to the Massive Crush, the death-cheating, gravity-defying thrill ride of the eon. Your task is to get through the maze in one piece."

    "Doesn't sound too hard," Yrin snorted.

    "On the regular ride, no," he admitted. "You'd be slingshot through passages and we'd make sure that you narrowly avoided being crushed by all the nasty things we've got in store for you. You'd make it through a little out of breath, but you'd be guaranteed to survive the experience.

    "What you intend to do, however," he continued, producing two datachips, "requires a waiver, a liability release, and video surveillance. You must produce proof of insurance coverage, two forms of legal identification, and an emergency contact."

    "I have a bad feeling about this," Ana mumbled.

    "Come on," Yrin wheedled. "You're not Li. You're a few years shy of being a Jedi Knight and you've got the reflexes of a podracer. What could go wrong?"

    "That's what we said at the beginning of this day, just before Li nearly made a long drop to a sudden stop."

    "You're not Li," he repeated, hand waving slightly. "You will..."

    "Oh, shut up and sign," she snapped.

    Five minutes of paperwork later, they were strapped into a tightly cinched harness attached to the sides of a tunnel by grappling hooks.

    "It's simple," the attendant assured them. "You kick off and it takes you down one tunnel into the free-track space. Your aim is to get to the red zone with all your bones and brains intact. You can either move to the side, backtrack, or jump tracks to avoid a crushing. You jump tracks by pinching the activator on the grappling hooks. They'll release you to the forces of gravity, whereupon you can drop until you find a more suitable track and then you release the activator and it latches on to the nearest fixture. Got it?"

    Neither of them was paying attention, but they nodded.

    "Last one there buys julaberry slushies as soon as we're out of this."

    "Ah," she sighed. "And you were saving up for some shaak nuggets. Pity."

    Before he could respond, she chambered her legs and kicked off into a somersault, pinching the activator. She dropped three levels, then hooked on with the right side, swinging at a dizzying rate to avoid the two walls that were thrown against each other. Another battering ram slammed into the track barrier next to her head and she latched her other grapple onto the edge of it. The right grapple stretched in protest, but she released both sides, nudging gravity with the Force to lan
  21. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Mar 5, 2000
    Ooooh, loved the reaction to the news of Fione's death! And the last line in particular conveyes the stark reality and grimness of the situation. I wonder what will be said to their friend when they next meet?


    The first thing that Ricksen noticed was the chair. Slightly crumpled, somewhat battered and scratched, lying in a protesting heap on the ground not far from the seating platform in front of the water tanks. Every now and again it would attempt to raise itself a few stuttering feet into the air on its repulsar lifts accompanied by phuttering noises of an unhealthy nature only to fall back in an apathy of mechanical exhaustion. Different from all the other repulsar chairs he had seen floating about the place in terms of style and colour (added to the fact that all the other chairs seemed to have somebody on hand to manoeuvre them), it didn't take Ricksen long to recollect where he had seen the object, or in whose company he had been at the time.

    "Somebody must be having a fun time struggling around without this." He murmured, bending down to toggle off the switch that activated the repulsar lifts. How exactly had it managed to escape from Jemmiah's clutches in the first place? One rather nasty possibility was that she had fallen from it as it had shot out of control: not a terribly nice thought. He felt inexplicably protective of the Corellian girl, and even more so of the cute looking freckled girl with the impaired vision. That was another odd thing?he could have sworn when she'd given her name that Lucrecia had looked him straight in the eye. Mildly panicked was how Ricksen would have described her.

    Putting such trivialities temporarily to the side, the young man knew it would be no real hardship for him to return the chair to the Jedi temple, although whether they would be pleased to see its current condition was a matter for some debate. Even although he'd barely known her for more than twenty-four hours, Ricksen was loathed to do anything that would land Jemmiah or her friends in trouble. Such a sweet, innocent looking girl?

    His one consolation remained that if she had been hurt at least her Jedi protectors would be there to do something about it, and thus turned his attention to the matter of arranging the chair to be shipped back to the temple, probably by the park's courier service. It would most likely get back to the temple before Jemmiah herself did.

    And then, crouched down beside the now lifeless piece of equipment, Ricksen happened to look across into the Flipperphant enclosure from whence there seemed to be a rather unusual amount of activity: splashing and flapping of flippers, honking and hooting and trumpeting of raspy aquatic vocal chords. Very odd, he thought, wondering what had gotten the normally docile creatures so excited?it was almost as if they were exulting in the arrival of a new friend, or perhaps some floating toy. The only difference being that this seemed more of a feeding frenzy than anything else judging by the way that the water was being tossed out of the purpose-built tank.

    There was something dark?some dull, round shape in the water being nudged back and forth between the huge creatures like a big, round ball?it was difficult for Ricksen to see exactly what it was at first. It was only when the object was lovingly balanced on the end of a Flipperphant's trunk-like nose, displayed proudly like some prized possession - and when the object opened its mouth and screamed continually for its mother - that Ricksen understood what all the fuss was about.

    The missing security guard.

    It all began to slot slowly into place, although frankly anyone who stole a crippled girl's repulsar chair to go joyriding round an amusement park at speeds not falling within the limits laid down by the manufacturer's standards & safety manual frankly was asking for everything they got. Flipperphants weren't exactly vicious creatures by any standards but there was the unfortunate possibility that they might, in their exuberance and glee at having found a new friend to
  22. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Oh, dear Force! I'm starting to pity An-Paj! Two convulsive, mucky Padawans, the repulsorchair...
  23. mouse2

    mouse2 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 29, 1999
    BTW, a huge congrats to you Jem on getting your Ewan pic. Yes I am quite jealous. All I have is a autographed pic of Ioan beacuse Leona dared me to send him a letter. Thanks Leona! :D

    Trust Simmy to get ahold of an unauthorized copy of translations. Now that is just a classic! ;) At least as the 'leader' Qui-Gon had the sense to admit that he had no idea where he was going. :)

    Ish - Now that's hard news to take, especially after having fun and thinking you were in trouble. I think that Li will need her friends and a julaberry slushie.

    Such a sweet, innocent looking girl? Er... Ricksen, are you sure you've got the right girl? Would those sweet girls hang around with a bunch of piratical degenerates? I can answer that! Yes! Because those sweet girls are a bunch of piratical degenerates. And we love them for it.

    As long as An-Paj doesn't kill them. :)

    Fabulous posts Jem and Ish!
  24. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    Thanks, Mouse.
  25. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Mar 26, 2001
    "For the last time, I thought I told you no sticky sodas in the Healer's Wing."

    Ana was tempted to throw the julaberry slushie in An-Paj's face, but then realized that it would match his skin color too perfectly and someone else needed it more than him. So, instead, she ran her finger down the list to Li and Bal's rooms, then stuck out her blue tongue.

    "I've got some citrus therapy for our long-suffering friends," she informed him calmly, "and you're not going to stop me if you don't want a cold shower."

    "Threatening a Healer is of the Dark Side," he growled sagely.

    "Then every Jedi from Yoda down is a Sith and very proud to be one."

    Without another word, she pushed past him and sprinted for bacta room 3.

    "Typical," she pronounced as Bal came into sight. "We're chasing halfway across the sector to save your bony rear end and we find you enjoying a nice soak in the hot tub."

    He lifted one lacerated foot by way of greeting with a wry grin. "At least you, according to young Yrin here, managed to top off the day with the Massive Crush. I don't think we got within a klick of that place, unless we missed something while fertilizing the novalilies. I did not, however, miss the fact that you have two julaberry slushies a piece and that is far too much sugar for one Padawan learner, so I suggest you cut your intake by half. I'm a convenient disposal service for such substances and if you have any shaak nuggets that will only add to your already expanding waistline..."

    "Oh, shut up," she laughed, passing one over. "We thought you could use some bedside manners that didn't involve a lot of pain, so we brought one for each."

    He took a long drag on the slushie before flashing a sapphire smile at her. "Are you an angel?"

    "Worse. I'm your chaperone until Yu gets back."

    Thankfully, An-Paj had passed him through a deep-scrub before finishing treatment.

    "The way you two were going, you wouldn't have noticed a war breaking out."

    His smile disappeared as the foot dropped back into the tank. "Unfortunately, we had nothing to do when Fione died."

    "You heard, then," Ana sighed, sinking onto the bench nearest the tank.

    "I suspected when I heard Li having something of a screaming fit, but An-Paj explained it."

    "Have you been to see her?"

    He shook his head. "An-Paj has her in a healing trance and he says he'll break my other foot if I dare interrupt it."

    "Sounds like he's getting a soft spot for you," Yrin grinned. "But at any rate, I'd listen to him."

    "I intend to," Bal assured him. "Any sign of my Master?"

    Her bile threatened to rise in her throat, but she nodded. "He's still out," she explained. "They found Fione, but had to go to the district morgue to identify her and get the datapadding done to bring her back for a proper memorial."

    He shuddered, lifting his feet free of the bacta dip to rest them on the towel next to the tank. "What a day. Li comes back in various pieces, I'm covered in muck, Fione's dead, and Kylenn..."

    "What about Kylenn?" Yrin interrupted.

    "All I heard was something about a skull fracture and An-Paj has been liaising with Leona services to get her back here for proper treatment."

    "The dead, dying, and difficult to rein in are abroad," Bal pronounced. "There isn't much to improve the situation."
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