~Tagged~ A Long Handmaiden Fanfic - Prelude in the Archive

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by HandmaidenEirtae, Aug 8, 2001.

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  1. Angel_of_Naboo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2000
    star 4
    Kill a handmaiden??? Are you mad, Eirtaé??? :eek:
    FurryDuck, your sig is definitely very... hum... weird. I guess we're all a bit crazy, aren't we? ;)
  2. HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2001
    star 3
    Page 22! Yes! :D

    Well, here's the long-awaited next part. And - Whew! - you guys may never have to worry about another character getting killed again just becuase I don't want to write the funeral scene! Nooooo, don't count on that.. [face_devil] Anyway, I hope that this part is well worth the wait....

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Staying at the Denala house was like staying in a house from a tragedy holo movie. Rabé stayed in her room most of the time, or in the gardens. Once she had tried to explore the house, but it was so eerily hung with sadness that she quickly gave up and returned to the sanctuary of her room. Eirtaé visited her that night and in the morning the next day, and it was during those times that Rabé felt most at ease. To her surprise, Eirtaé never mentioned her mother or the grieving, but instead spoke normally like it was any other day. She even smiled and laughed softly at times. It was a mystery to Rabé how her friend could do that, hide her emotions so Rabé couldn't see them, but she was grateful. If it hadn't been for the few hours those two days, Rabé was sure she would have gone mad.

    Eirtaé appeared again right after lunch, her face downcast. Rabé quickly pushed aside the clutter of datapads that was on her bed, making room for Eirtaé to sit down.

    "We're going to bury my mother at dusk," Eirtaé said, getting straight to the point as she sank onto the bed. "Panaka was informed early this morning, and he said that Padmé and the other handmaidens would like to come."

    Rabé's eyes widened. "At dusk? Isn't that?a little soon?"

    Eirtaé shook her head. "Father said that we should do it before the celebration in two days, that Mom wouldn't want us to be sad during such a happy time."

    Suddenly she burst into tears, and Rabé leaned forward to hug her.

    "It's okay," she whispered. "You're father's right. I'm sure your mother wouldn't want you to dwell on her after she's passed away; she'd want you to remember her and smile."

    "It's so hard, though," Eirtaé choked. "I miss her so much. And I didn't even get to spend that much time with her when she was alive. I got out of the house and away from her as much as I could. I can't help but wonder how I could have been so cruel as to become a handmaiden and run away from her like that, and if she might have lived if I had stayed."

    "No," Rabé protested. "There was nothing you could have done if you had stayed with her. Besides, you're happy as a handmaiden, and your mother wanted you to be happy."

    Eirtaé sniffed, then wiped away the tears with the edge of her sleeve. She took several deep, shuddering breaths, thinking hard about what Rabé had said. It was true; all her mother ever wanted Eirtaé to be was happy?

    She forced a weak smile. "Thanks, Rabé. I'm so glad you're here."

    "If one of me friends ever needs me, I'm always there for them," Rabé replied.

    Eirtaé gave her a quick hug, then stood up and headed for the door. "I'll see you later."

    Rabé smiled encouragingly and nodded, and Eirtaé left.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "?as dusk settles on this city, it also falls on the life on Firenzé Rayé Montego Denala, daughter, wife, and mother. And though her family and friends will miss her greatly, we know that she would not want them to grieve her passing or waste our lives wallowing in the loss, but that they should live on vicariously in her memory?"

    The words flowed through Eirtaé's ears, and she only caught parts of the magistrate's speech. Her mother's coffin lay before her, ready to be buried in the cold earth of the Denala family cemetery. Eirtaé could feel her eyes sting as tears formed, and she quickly looked away to prevent them from sliding down her cheeks. Padmé, dressed in a simple black mourning gown stood to her left, attended by Yané, Saché, and Sabé. Rabé was behind Eirtaé, accompanying her as a friend on the family. Panaka and a few other Palace guards stood to Eirtaé's
  3. FurryDuck Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2001
    star 4
    Yay! A post! :D

    So sad :(. No matter what Eirtaé says, I'm sure her mother knew how much she was loved, even if Eirtaé didn't show it.

    Wonderful post, as always! :D
  4. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    sniff, sniff, poor eirtae!
    Great post!
  5. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    [face_plain] :( :_|

    That was so sad!! Waaaaahhhhh!!! :_|

    And DUH Rabé wouldn't get with that guy...he's Eirtaé's boyfriend...I knew that name sounded familiar... *scowl*

    Great, great post...poor Eirtaé. I don't know what I would do if my mother died. And poor Rabé feeling so alone in the big empty house. I would probably just stick to my room as well, and not try to go exploring...

    Great post as usual, though very sad and sobering.

    Can't wait for more.

    ~Obischick
  6. Padawan_Laurianna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2002
    star 2
    Ummm...yeah. wow. You weren't kidding when you called this A Long Handmaiden Fanfic. (not that I'm complaining!)

    Seeing as I am a relative 'newbie', I just read this over the past few days and was floored. This is an amazingly well constructed, descriptive and detailed story. You do a marvellous job of combining all of the handmaidens' POVs into one plotline (although the absence of Yane', which you have explained in your posts, for a portion of the story doesn't completely fit the pattern and tone you set from the beginning; however her inclusion again after the battle makes up for that a bit).

    The introductory scenes at the beginning of your story that slowly weave the girls' first encounters with eachother on election day were beautifully crafted with a nice flow throughout. After that point I was hooked. You had me tearing up and crying a bit at many points. Adding the layers of reality (such as people being injured, dying, the brutal experiences of those in the camps, etc.) to the story that we don't see in the movie was a good choice on your part. I also like how you included the girls freaking out and losing their cool from time to time (i.e. Eirtae' in battle, Padme' snapping at Sabe' on Coruscant, etc.), this stops them from being the semi-flat characters they could easily become. You don't allow them to be completely prepared for this kind of horrific experience, and you allow them to show their age and be scared and frustrated.

    Hey, obviously I like this a lot. (DUH.)

    Shall I go on? Keep posting H.Eirtae'.

    So with out much further ado:
    uppity up up up!
  7. Padawan_Laurianna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2002
    star 2
    Oh yea, you folks discussed the BYS gentlemen and the forum they hang out in a few pages back, and then a few of them dropped by to 'up' your story in a very poetic and friendly way... What IS BYS that you are referring to, I am still a semi-lost l'il newbie so could you explain that to me?

    Anywho. Be seeing you! ::waves::
  8. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    Hi Padawan Laurianna! :) I'll leave most of the hosting duties to HMEirtae over there...since it IS her story...but I think I can help with the BYS.

    The BYS stands for the Blue Yoda Society, a group of relatively insane people here on the boards. They...well, I don't know exactly what they believe, but they are over on the Misl. boards underneath the Star Wars Films section...though I haven't seen them for quiet a few days now...

    Oh well...and this may be a strange question, but, by any wacky chance, that you know Denny or Jazzy Jedi?

    Again, Welcome to the boards...you sure picked an awesome story to post on. I love this one to death!! :) ;) :D

    ~Obischick
  9. HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2001
    star 3
    Thanks for your ups, everyone! Unfortunately, I'm crazy busy right now and haven't started working on the next part, but it'll be up as soon as possible, I promise!

    FurryDuck - I think Eirtaé's mom knew how much her daughter loved her too, but on the other hand, I think Eirtaé will always feel a just a tiny bit of guilt for trying to get away from her mother so often.

    Bobill - *passes the tissue box* ;)

    Obischick - Goodness! Maybe you need the tissue box too! ;) Yes, now I think you all can see why 'Jarden' and Rabé could have no romantic attachment. ;) And as to your later comments... [face_blush] Thanks so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic (it's faired a lot better than any of my others, let me tell you! ;) )

    PadawanLaurianna - Wow. [face_blush] Thanks so much for all your lovely compliments! I get 'floored' whenever someone new pops up and says they like this story. ;) I'm so glad you like it! Yes, I was a bit negligant with Yané. I'm thinking I was just a little too lazy to try to think up a creative plot line for her. Maybe in the extended edition (Yes, there's going to be one, if I find the time. I found by reading various other fics - coughcoughObischich'sHMstorycoughcough - that I missed some pre-TPM friend/family action that I shoulda added in there. So I'm going to write in a fairly good amount of stuff pre-TPM, I think, then see if I can find any betas for this monstrous thing!). And if you want to read another really good handmaiden story, may I return Obischick's gracious compliment and say that her Handmaidens: Eirtaé's Story is really great!

    Of course, it's all because of my wonderful readers that this story has gotten so far. Without you all, I would never of had the motivation to keep working on it!

    ~Eirtaé~
  10. HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2001
    star 3
    Okay, so I know I said I hadn't typed up the next part and it would probably be a while, but -- Surprise! -- right after I posted that I got some time to type up this next, short part. After this, it's on to the Celebration! :D

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Sabé tapped softly on Padmé's office door, then waited for the queen to acknowledge her.

    ?Come,? her voice drifted through the dark wood, and Sabé palmed the door open, slipping in side.

    ?You are dismissed, Taté,? Sabé said to the junior handmaiden attending Padmé.

    The girl started, but Padmé nodded in agreement, and Taté exited silently into the waiting room.

    Sabé crossed behind the desk, then waited for Padmé to look up from the datapad she was studying intently. ?More plans for tomorrow?? she asked.

    Padmé nodded, leaning back in her chair as far as she could in her bulky dress. ?Yes,? she replied. ?The Chancellor is requesting speech time, and I?m trying to figure out if I should give him time at the end of the parade or sometime during the ball, and I have to find a craftsman who can make a pair chairs for Master Yoda and Master Yaddle to sit on during the banquet, and I have to figure out where we can set up stations for the people to pick up the confetti and streamers and other decorations for the parade, and I have to-?

    Sabé grinned as she snatched the datapad from Padmé?s hand. ?And these are the important life and death issues that demand our monarch?s time?? she teased. ?To me, these sound more like jobs for your dutiful handmaidens.?

    Padmé smiled gratefully. ?Thanks, Sabé.?

    ?No problem,? the handmaiden replied, pocketing the datapad. ?I?m sure Eirtaé will be grateful for something to do.?

    Padmé laughed, then picked up the next datapad from her large stack on her desk.

    ?What?s that?? Sabé asked. ?More work for Eirtaé??

    Padmé blushed. ?Ahhh, no, not really,? she mumbled. ?It?s a letter.?

    ?From who??

    Padmé muttered incoherently, and Sabé demanded that she repeat her answer. ?Anakin,? the young queen admitted.

    Sabé checked a laugh, but graciously didn?t pursue the subject. Instead, she reached up to her neck and pulled out a necklace. ?Remember this?? she asked Padmé.

    The other girl smiled. ?It?s the amulet my parents gave me.?

    Sabé unclipped it from her neck and placed it in Padmé?s hand. ?You said you would wear it again when Naboo was free. Well we?re free, Padmé. Thanks to you, we?re free.?

    Padmé fastened the treasured necklace back around her own neck, then tucked it safely out of sight. She glanced back to Sabé, noticing something shining around the other girl?s neck. ?What?s that?? she asked curiously.

    Sabé smiled affectionately as she showed Padmé the necklace. ?It?s my mother?s wedding ring,? she explained. ?My father gave it to me when I last visited him, and I put it on a chain so I could always have it near me.?

    ?It?s beautiful,? Padmé breathed.

    Sabé slid it back underneath the collar of her dress, then headed for the door. ?Anything else, Your Highness?? she asked.

    Padmé shook her head. ?Nothing for now. Just send Taté back in when you go out.?

    Sabé nodded, then waved the datapad. ?And don?t worry about this,? she assured her. ?I?ll make sure the other girls get started on it right away.? And smiling broadly at her genius, she exited the room.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    ~Eirtaé~
  11. FurryDuck Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2001
    star 4
    Very pleasant surprise :D.

    That's so cute how Padmé got a letter from Anakin. He was such a sweet person... uh, when he was nine. :p

    Great post, can't wait for the celebration!
  12. SenatorLeiaOrgana Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2002
  13. bobilll Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 2002
    star 4
    i never thought of sabe as mean before. great post!
  14. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    That was really great Eirtaé!! I loved how Sabé got Padmé to stop working for a bit, then went and gave the other HMs work to do!! :p And I liked the way that Sabé took athority and dismissed Taté for a couple minutes. She really is growing into a good leadership role.

    Sabé having her mother's wedding ring is sweet too. It was wonderful of her father to give it to her. And Padmé got a letter from Anakin...how cute!! [face_love]

    Thank you so much for your sweet compliments! [face_blush] [face_blush] I can't wait to read the erm... Special Edition of this story! ;) It ought to be great, like the rest!

    ~Obischick
  15. Angel_of_Naboo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2000
    star 4
    Beautiful funeral post.. The emotions were wonderfully described. :_| I forgot Eirtaé had a boyfriend... [face_love]
    Isn't Sabé getting a bit bossy? ;)
    A Special Edition? That could be very interesting... ;)


  16. HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2001
    star 3
  17. Padawan_Laurianna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2002
    star 2
    I come to post here for three reasons:

    YEAH! A new segment of the story! Rock on! (enough exclamation points, I know.) I, too like how Sabe' is getting confident at taking charge and trying to find things for Eirtae' to do to keep her occupied and not ultra-sad. Lovely post, keep it up HM.Eirtae'.

    Secondly, Obischick, although I have never officially met them (cough, cough, giggle) I do know our esteemed handmaiden fans Denny and Jazzy (although Denny and I have had a more noticeable correspondance...). And in fact I believe you know me as well, we have in fact recently tormented Denny together (with A/A scenes, ::giggle::) over at Scribes of Naboo for not posting more of her Sabe' story after she complained I was lurking. [Sorry to everyone else for the inside discussion here.] Good job recognizing me, although I don't make my name too difficult to recognize, do I? I have yet to read your story, but I look forward to it. =)

    Thirdly: uppity up up up!!!

    Oh yeah, thanks to everyone for welcoming me around here (Obischick, HM.Eirtae', etc.) And the BYS explanation was truly appreciated, Obischick. So I guess that was four reasons to post... oh well. ::waves::
  18. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    I thought I recognized your insanity!! :D

    *hugs* Hey Laurianna! yeah, A/A torture was fun.

    Up Eirtaé, UP!!

    ~Obischick
  19. HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2001
    star 3
    Up! I will post indi. responses soon. BTW, has anyone seen Princess Sari? I desperately want her to update her fic!
    Eirtae
  20. Padawan_Laurianna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2002
    star 2
    Uppity up up up!
    Whenever you have more HM.Eirtae', it will be delightfully appreciated. Keep it up. ;)

    Obischick, thanks for the hug! I needed it! ::hugs Obischick back with a big grin on her face:: :D Yes, the A/A torture was fun. (Did you see, she gave us a mini-post today?) I like your sense of humor, girl!

    Hey everyone, I got the emoticons to work!!! Yeah! (hey I'm new remember?) :)
    Anywho... ::waves::
  21. KataiJade Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2002
    star 2
    Wow, those last few posts were really emotional. IUts too much for my little mind to comprehend! Great job Eirtae! heres and up for ya.
  22. Angel_of_Naboo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2000
    star 4
  23. Obischick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 4
    I haven't seen Princess Sari in a Long, Long, LONG time Eirtae. :( I think Darth Real Life ate her. [face_shocked]

    Lol Laurianna! I'm glad it worked before I had to get to the fireplace scene or the Meadow Picnic.

    UP!! We Need MORE!!!

    ~Obischick
  24. Padawan_Laurianna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2002
    star 2
  25. HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 23, 2001
    star 3
    I'm back to make indiv. replies! :) And to take a poll. How much celebrating do you guys want the Naboo to do? Besides the Parade, what else happened? A banquet (Well, I've kinda already written that in, but I can change it)? A ball? Both? Please post with your input! Thanks! :D

    Furryduck - He was also kinda a sweet person when he was 19. No, no, I guess not really, but he was hott! ;)

    Bobill - Oh, Sabe's not really mean, just sneaky and cunniving (I don't think I spelled that right!).

    Obischick - Well, when one impersonates the Queen for so long, one gets used to leadership. :) And of course Sabe doesn't want her best friend to be over-worked unnecessarily, but it's not like she wants to do the work, either! ;)

    Angel_of_Naboo - I actually had a semi-good time writing the funeral post. But then I tried to write a death scene in the story I'm trying to get archived
    (Spoiler!

    yes, it is a handmaiden -- not like that's a major spoiler of a globalwide movie, or anything), and it didn't work too well. I advise all fanfic writers to keep death/funeral scenes to just one a day. ;)

    Padawan_Laurianna - It's okay! I think exclamation marks are cool! Besides, after being so nice about my story, you can use as many exclamation marks as you want when posting a reply. ;) And, while Sabe was also being sly, handing out work to the other girls, her major reason was to get Eirtae's mind off her mother. Yes, she is a good friend...sorta :)

    KataiJade - I'm glad you thought they were emotional. Sometimes I think I don't get enough into details and character's thoughts, at least not as much as I should.

    I think I was attacked by the mispell/typo demon tonight. Wait, are there two s's in 'mispell' or just one? ;)

    ~Eirtae~
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