Before - Legends Take This Job and Shove It - OC, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan - One-Post

Title: Take This Job and Shove It
Author: ardavenport
Timeframe: Before the Saga
Genre: Humor
Characters: OC, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi
Keywords Jedi, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
Summary: Qui-Gon makes a mess
And: typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox



Grazora Quoar had just started her shift when the Jedi showed up.

Normally she would have been sitting in the gatehouse control room, watching the sentry droids interrogating whoever arrived. But she was inspecting them, part of her usual morning rounds. Usually, Kamlar Huffly would have stayed in the gatehouse, but she had to leave early after the night shift. Quoar let her go. If TuriTac-Sec Corp was too cheap have two people on duty to guard the city's Tertiary Archive site, Quoar wasn't going to penalize a good worker for having a family emergency.

She had just closed up the access panel on the back of the droid's head when she spotted, over the droid's shoulder, the Jedi coming up to the gate.

Quoar had never met a Jedi. Never seen one in person. But in her two decades of police and security work, she had certainly heard about them. Now that she had seen one, she was surprised that this one was so blatantly obvious.

The long, loose dark brown robe might have blended into a crowd. Tall brown boots and brown pants were common enough. An unremarkable Human, of late middle years with long brown hair, tied back, beard and mustaches, normally would not attract attention. The off-white tunic with strips of cloth wrapped around the middle and hanging down over the shoulders was a bit distinctive. Add the wide brown belt with utility pouches with a very obvious lightsaber attached to it and the whole ensemble said, 'Jedi'.

Quoar activated the droid. It snapped to attention, armored barrel chest thrust forward, and joined Tor-33B, which was already scrutinizing the approaching Jedi. The pair stayed at loose attention, their weapons down, eye sensors recording every detail. Tor-33A and Tor-33B were not programmed to be aggressive. Unless someone tried to pass through the gate without permission.

"Hello."

The Jedi stopped a few paces away and looked at them with a benign smile. He was tall, eye level with Quoar, she noted. And broad in the shoulders.

"I was hoping that - - -"

That was as far as he got.

An official car sped up and stopped. Hurlo Naquur leaped out. Quoar's least favorite Deputy Mayor.

"You! Take him!" Naquur shouted, red-faced and angrier than usual, arms and green sleeve-tails waving as he struggled out of the car before the driver had time to lower it to the curb.

Quoar stared. Looked at the Jedi, who remained calm and relaxed. Looked at the Deputy Mayor, stumbling forward in his pointed shoes. Naquur halted, just out of the Jedi's reach, and puffed himself up.

"I said take him! He's trying to get into the Archive!" Naquur panted.

Agitated, Tor-33A and Tor-33B clicked and whirred, their eye sensors looking to Quoar for guidance. They recognized the Deputy Mayor's sash, but they were only part of a contract security company hired by the province. She held up a gloved hand for them to stay in place.

"You don't have any authority here, Naquur," Quoar replied, working hard to keep the pleasure out of her voice. Her failure to show the proper 'loyalty' to the newest city administration had terminated her position in the city police force. And her pension. Her current contract job kept her up on the payments of her condo. Just. But after working over three years for TuriTac-Sec Corp she had yet to be promoted to supervisor. Her performance reviews always noted 'Attitude Issues' as being a problem, though the company seemed to have no problem with assigning her the tasks of a supervisor. Just none of

 

Lovely, destroying archives, that's Jedi-business.

And as an archivist I really appreciate that.

 

So Qui-Gon destroyed a complete archives tower

Luckily that little bit of mayhem included those droid darts....

Quoar is great, yet another of your wonderful otherworlders. Loved her attitude towards authority figures and even though she rationalized it as not having the power to stop a Jedi and all those credentials he was carrying, I'm convinced she let her annoyance with Naquur overrule her sense of self-preservation

And the way Obi-Wan sort of flew into the story after the explosion is great as well. And yes, what *was* he thinking destroying poor deactivated 33B, he couldn't even defend himself

 

Oh, that was really too good! *slaps knee and holds stomach from too much laughing* I love it when pompous city officials get reamed... especially by a Jedi. I just have one question... where did Obi-Wan come from? Was he one of the "other things" stored at the archives?

 

That was excellent!

 

This had me rolling...

"They'll have to put up a plaque, too. And a big flashing holo-sign. 'Big Jedi Mess. RIGHT HERE!' And they'll bring younglings from school and show it to them and tell them, 'Don't you be Jedi, or you'll be MESSY!'"

The boy now urgently tugged on his elder's sleeve and Qui-Gon Jinn regained control of himself.

"You should come with us. I don't believe it's safe for you to stay."

The boy rolled his eyes up at the sky with the pained look of sorely abused youth whose elders had no sense and would probably soon embarrass them.

I loved this story. What I like best about your characters it that they remind me of people I know (Ok, not all of them), which is exactly as it should be.

Great job.

 

Wow... That was just amazing!!! It really made me LOL, literally!!

The boy rolled his eyes up at the sky with the pained look of sorely abused youth whose elders had no sense and would probably soon embarrass them.

That was so funny!!!

Great job!!

-Miks

 

LOL! I'm laughing and getting weird looks from my brother. *Slaps brother* he isnt supposed to be in my room. I'm surprised the idiot yelled at a Jedi. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan at that. Qui is so cool... He doesn't laugh much, though.

 

earlybird-obi-wan: Yep, it's Qui-Gon getting down to Jedi business. Thanks for reading!

Seremela: Weeeeeellll there might not have been so many archives records in the building as there were bad things that might blow up. Qui-Gon just helped that along. Quoar was just too smart to even try to stop a Jedi, who is much more dangerous than her boss. I think Obi-Wan just got a little over-excited with destroying the droids. Thanks for the reply!

p_stotts: Thanks! Jedi are good at handling city officials. And Obi-Wan was busy distracting those officials while Qui-Gon snuck off to blow up a building, though I don't think he planned to blow it up.

VaderLVR64: Thank-you!

azizah: Quoar was perhaps a little crazed when yelling at Qui-Gon, but he knew the yelling was harmless, so he took her with them....very trying to Obi-Wan's patience. Thanks for reading!

JediLuminaraUnduli: Thanks! Glad it made you laugh.

DarkPowerUnlimited: I think Qui-Gon probably needed a laugh then. Blowing up things is hard work. Thanks for the reply!

 

Wow, I missed this one the first time around. This is great! Another gem to add to the collection!

 

--- I swear I'm going to catch up on reply to replies ...... ratna: thanks so much for reading -- I'm catching up, too.

 

Classic! I love it Qui-Gon seems so calm about destroying stuff!!

It's been such a long time since I've been round these parts and it's so cool to come back to the boards and still have super awesome fic still around. It feels like coming home

 

What a fantastically funny story. Don't make a mess, indeed. Never expect tidiness from a Jedi.

 

nickenobi-nz: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, Qui-Gon is calm in the face of destruction.

Commander-DWH: Thank-you! Qui-Gon is so messy.