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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends Tale of a Jedi: Volume 1 - Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by red rose knight, Oct 13, 2003.

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  1. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I remember that.
     
  2. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    Serephena?Your description of the scene was astounding, I loved the the emotional battle as well as the physical. ?? Thanks!

    Keeper of Swords? great duelling ?? Thanks!

    ca tron?*Follows red to make sure she doesn't do anything that we'll regret* ?? he he [face_devil] You are a little late there. [face_laugh]

    PadawanKitara?Yup- history does have a tendency to repeat itself. ?? Just a little bit. ;)

    Reformed? RRK, fantastic stories. The EU/AU you've created is just as good as the original GFFA. Great work! ?? Thank you very much! [face_blush]

    Wookiee? Master, I say we blow this joint and go on a vacation - you with me on this? ?? That sounds nice. Although I have been absent from reality for a while. 8-}

    JadeSolo? At one point, didn't some of us come up with a plan to take over Star Tours at Disney World? Or am I imagining things? ?? Nope, you are right. There were plans to storm the House of Mouse.

    Here?s another happy little posty to get you farther on the journey of this little tale. There are 3 or 4 more posts after this. It just depends on whether I want to make the next post one big fight scene or break it up into two. I will have to check with the Muse on that. [face_wnk]

    Thank you all for your kind replies and to those of you who kindly nominated Tale (and Love and WK and others) thank you very much. [face_blush] [face_blush] Both Tale of a Jedi and A Jedi Shall Not Know Love hold the most special places in my writing heart. [face_love]
     
  3. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    Chapter Eleven

    Powerful claws dug into the beams that ran across the high ceiling of the hangar chamber as Jedi Master Sollus Leeu raced safely over a group of shrouded figures. In their midst lay a motionless form. Her reddish-gold mane waved as it drooped and fell away from her head in her inverted position. Occasionally, powerful muscles would pause, as she would turn her head down allowing her keen amber eyes to search the small group that waited out in the open.

    Spying the once elegant robes of the Chancellor tangled about his battered form as a pool of red reflected like a halo in the lighting high above the gray floor, she knew with every fiber of her being, there was something wrong with the situation. It was too easy.

    The Sith surrounding him were merely underlings, low level Force users at best. Not an elite guard she would have expected. Jathra might as well have abandoned his prize for the security he left.

    Pausing directly above the group, the Master paused, closing her large eyes as she gently reached for the Force. A cloud of darkness left her Force vision dulled. Jathra and others were masking their presence and making the picture unclear. Turning away from her Force sense, she used her highly refined sense of smell. Outside the stench of the Sith mongrels below and that of her apprentice lurking at the edge of the chamber, she picked up no other traces of beings nearby.

    There had been others earlier, but now, their scents were fading.

    It took little for her to return her focus to the Chancellor and the pain that he was incapable of shielding.

    Offering a guiding pulse to her apprentice through their shared training bond, the Paka released her grip and tumbled silently through the air. Twisting with feline grace, she turned to face those she was attempting to ambush. Mercifully they were not so acute in the Force to sense the eminent danger.

    And when they did, it was too late.

    Before she even hit the ground, sharp claws unsheathed and slit the only human?s throat. Within an instant the flash of Amare?s lightsaber had quickly dispatched two other dark Force users before they could even raise a weapon in defense. The last remaining being, a wrinkled, gray skinned creature, pulled a knife and lunged toward the Chancellor?s prostrate form.

    ?No!? Amare called out, too far back to help.

    Drawing the Force to her, Sollus reached out with a large paw, extending an invisible hand to grasp the last survivor. The alien cried out as he was raised from the ground, hovering for a moment before the slightest motion of the Jedi?s paw sent him flying across the chamber. A dull thud and crunch of shattering bones echoed upon impact with the wall.

    The two Jedi paused only a moment to exchange even looks before a soft whimper gained Amare?s attention. Her lavender gaze shifted toward the trembling form of the Chancellor. Moving swiftly over the floor, she deactivated her weapon and knelt down next to the once grand figure that had commanded respect and obedience with just the tip of his head. He was curled into a fetal position. Reaching out with a small hand, she pressed it to his convulsing shoulder. ?Your Excellency,? she whispered.

    ?Get away from me,? he mumbled through the folds of his silken sleeve that were pressed to his face.

    ?You are in Jedi custody now,? Sollus announced as she paced the chamber, careful of the fallen Sith. Still untrusting at the ease of the situation.

    At Amare?s insistence, he turned back slightly, rolling his head to the side to reveal his battered and bloody face. The Alderaani man, who had looked so kingly an hour earlier barely looked human. His lips were dark and swollen, his nose broken and charred flesh scarred the right side of his face where the tip of a lightsaber blade cauterized claw marks. His eyelids were matted closed with drying blood where his eyes had once been.

    A ghostly white hand rose to his face as an agonized sob slipped between fattened lips. ?Do not touch me,? he trembled, pulling away from Amare?s
     
  4. Keeper_of_Swords

    Keeper_of_Swords Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2003
    This part was great???Before she even hit the ground, sharp claws unsheathed and slit the only human?s throat. Within an instant the flash of Amare?s lightsaber had quickly dispatched two other dark Force users before they could even raise a weapon in defense. The last remaining being, a wrinkled, gray skinned creature, pulled a knife and lunged toward the Chancellor?s prostrate form.

    Very descriptive?????His lips were dark and swollen, his nose broken and charred flesh scarred the right side of his face where the tip of a lightsaber blade cauterized claw marks. His eyelids were matted closed with drying blood where his eyes had once been.

    ?They took my eyes.?..chilling

    Is the Paka a sort of humanoid cat?

    Keep it up!
     
  5. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Wonderfully gruesome descriptions! The Chancellor has some nerve complaining! :mad:
     
  6. Flashbacca

    Flashbacca Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 11, 2002
    WUN-der-ful descriptions!!

    Man I love it when you start getting wordy!! :D

    MORE MORE MORE!!

    I am all for at least a couple 10 or more posts!

     
  7. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Between the crunching bones and the missing eyes, I would have to say that it ranks up there as your most gruesome post to date.
     
  8. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Whew...all caught up again! :D

    This is one of the best stories on the boards right now, Red. The characters are finely drawn, and the descriptions are incredible. I love how the Jedi are recognisable as Jedi but that you've somehow managed to take them back to a more primal state, where it's more about surviving than being protectors of peace. The Jedi are much more elemental in a sense, and it's easy to see how they and the Sith came out of the same origins.

    Great work, Red - nobody could have done it better!

    Shaindl
     
  9. ca_tron

    ca_tron Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    A post is just what I need to help break the tidiousness of studying for my finals. But the good news is, I GET TO SOLO NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!! :D
     
  10. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Loved the descriptions. You do them so well. So the Jedi thought it was a trap but the trap seems to have failed or maybe it hasn't sprung yet. Good job on this. It's wonderful.
     
  11. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    Keeper of Swords?Is the Paka a sort of humanoid cat? ?? Yes. She is more lion-like than like a Cathar.

    obi ew?The Chancellor has some nerve complaining! ?? Yup. :D

    Wookiee?I am all for at least a couple 10 or more posts! ?? Um, including today, there are only three posts left. At least until I start Volume 2 in about a month and there are likely to be 10 or so Volumes. It?s going to be a long story just told in a lot of small parts.

    PadawanKitara?Between the crunching bones and the missing eyes, I would have to say that it ranks up there as your most gruesome post to date. ?? Thanks. [face_blush] Wait until tomorrow then?

    Shaindl? This is one of the best stories on the boards right now, Red. The characters are finely drawn, and the descriptions are incredible. ?? [face_blush] [face_blush] Thank you. Coming from you that is a great compliment.

    ca tron? A post is just what I need to help break the tidiousness of studying for my finals. ?? Sorry about the delay, Darth Work and his buddy Darth Salesman paid me a visit this week and took all of my free time.

    dianethx?Loved the descriptions. You do them so well. So the Jedi thought it was a trap but the trap seems to have failed or maybe it hasn't sprung yet. ?? [face_devil] Thanks!

    Thank you everyone for your replies. Sorry about the delay on yesterday?s post but I think I have it all worked out. A post today, a longer post tomorrow and then a tie up on Friday for this Volume and it will set the stage for the rest of the story.
     
  12. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    Chapter Twelve

    A shallow, trembling exhale filled the chill air before pale, quivering lips pressed together. The color robbed of them as they parted slightly allowing the nourishing air to fill his aching lungs. Mercifully, the pain subsided with each breath Ben?al Houk took.

    With time, he knew he would completely recover from Nerhat?s lightning attack. Yet, the knowledge did little to comfort him as his lethargic gait carried him through the multileveled hangar system. Frustration battled with his need to calm his thoughts and seek the healing energies of the Force. The stench of charred cloth and flesh sickened him as he tilted his chin upward into the gentle currents of chilled air that wafted through the massive chambers.

    The electrical charge that had surged so easily through his body had left his nerves feeling raw and muscles sluggish to respond to mental commands. Helplessness raged through his spirit. A small part wanting only to give into it while the rest rallied to fight it. He would not allow his pain to cripple him, knowing that signs of weakness would be exploited by his Sith enemies.

    Making a psychic stand, he gritted his teeth together, while continuing to trudge forward. The golden haired Jedi grabbed the ache that consumed his entire being and pressed as much as he could into a tiny ball. Offering the barest of thought, he mentally pushed the ball into the currents of the Force freeing himself of some of the burden for the time being.

    His weaknesses had already cost one life this day, he thought as his pace picked up.

    No one else would suffer for him. The Chancellor would be found alive and he and his three remaining companions would escape to safety.

    Without Horus Juurmon.

    The face of the dying Bothan flashed through his memories. The weight of the ancient lightsaber Horus had carried for many decades pressed into his wounded hands. It was a frightening and sobering thought. A weapon that could not be lost, for its long history made it a treasure. He could not wait to return it to the Temple and be relieved of the duty.

    More than that, he was carrying the weapon of a Jedi who had died protecting him. It was a burden he feared might crush him.

    The old man should never have fought Nerhat.

    During his journey through the various maintenance bays, Ben?al?s intense blue gaze fell to the lightsaber that he held in a death grip. Master Juurmon?s weapon had lost its luster as blood from the apprentice?s gashed fingers had smeared and dried across the brushed silver and black casing. It would need a good cleaning once they returned to Coruscant. But no matter what, Ben?al swore, he would not lose this weapon; his life depended too much on it.

    Under tender fingertips, he brushed along the carved lettering that was nothing but scratches in his mind. The ancient language of the Bendu monks held little meaning for him. Yet they must have been important at one time.

    A tug in the Force brought his to pause next a workstation in the shadow of a Bolinar transport, he looked up at the iridescent blue body as it shimmered in the high beam lighting. He vaguely noted that it was one of the newest models. Shifting slightly to peer under the hovering craft he saw two rumpled figures lying on the ground. Their red uniforms gave them away as the in-house maintenance crew.

    He frowned before walking again, preferring to be a moving target. From beyond a set of wide doors, several meters away, he sensed a powerful Dark Side presence radiating out.

    He was so close.

    ?Not so fast, Jedi boy!? a gruff voice called out.

    Ben?al twisted back just in time see a lanky figure hop down from the narrow wing of the Bolinar ship. His long black cloak swishing just above the floor as he slowly rose to his full height and without a word, positioned himself between the Jedi and the door.

    Not wishing to waste his energy on some fool wishing to prove himself, the padawan calmly stated, ?If you enjoy your life, I suggest you run far from me.?

    Activating h
     
  13. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    For a moment, I thought Ben'al had had some sense smacked into him. He seemed more humble.

    ?I am Ben?al Houk,? he softly intoned, ?and you have just forfeited your life.?

    Guess I was wrong. :p

    Another fantastic chapter, Red! I was intrigued by the description of Kavara - although I don't read EU, it sounded remarkably like another redhead in the GFFA. I'll be interested to see if there's a link.

    Great work! Can't wait to read the big fight!

    Shaindl
     
  14. Keeper_of_Swords

    Keeper_of_Swords Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2003
    Chapter twelve was fine!

    Favourite sentence?..Master Juurmon?s weapon had lost its luster as blood from the apprentice?s gashed fingers had smeared and dried across the brushed silver and black casing.

    This was funny????. The more powerful the Sith, the stupider they are.

     
  15. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Sounds like Ben'al may have met his match. I'm sure he would never admit it though. ;)
     
  16. ca_tron

    ca_tron Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    That was a bueautiful chapter. it showed that Ben could be humble.



    P.S.-While I was reading the fight scene, my music selector decided to play Duel of the Fates. It was so totally weird, but it made sence and fit the scene.
     
  17. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

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    Dec 31, 2001
    That boy is far from humble
     
  18. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Check out Lady Kavara! :cool: I saw this TV show once, where some of the characters were talking about their boss and what she would say to them. One of them went, "You mean besides, 'Lick my stilletos'?" [face_laugh] That's how I think of Kavara.

    It's interesting how Ben'al flip-flops between being humble and arrogant. Horus's death has taught him a heavy lesson, and yet with the first Sith and now Kavara, his attitude is back. And I'm wondering if the Prak'sha is having any effect on him (other than slowing down his reaction time :p ).

    The more powerful the Sith, the stupider they are. That's right! Vader said, "There will be no one to stop us this time." But there was! There was the whole Rebellion. And then the Emperor said, "It is pointless to resist." But it wasn't, and he got thrown down a reactor shaft as a result. Same thing happened to Maul. And Dooku, he can do the lightening trick, but he had the nerve to tell Obi-Wan to back down. What did he end up doing? Running away!

    *sigh* Break time over, back to studying :(
     
  19. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Well, just when I thought Ben'al had some sense knocked into him, he says this ?I am Ben?al Houk,? he softly intoned, ?and you have just forfeited your life.?
    Get a grip and learn some humility, for crying out loud. I wonder that his Master lets him get away with it...LOL.

    Perhaps, the new player, Kavara, will teach him or then again maybe not. Looking forward to seeing how this will play out...
     
  20. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    Shaindl? For a moment, I thought Ben'al had had some sense smacked into him. He seemed more humble. Guess I was wrong. ?? I think it will take a little more than that to sufficiently humble him.

    Keeper of Swords? Chapter twelve was fine! ?? Thanks!

    obi ew? I'm sure he would never admit it though. ?? You know him so well! 8-}

    ca tron? P.S.-While I was reading the fight scene, my music selector decided to play Duel of the Fates. It was so totally weird, but it made sence and fit the scene. ?? Cool! :cool:

    PadawanKitara?That boy is far from humble ?? LOL and very true. Imagine what it will take to make him the humbled Jedi of the statue.

    JadeSolo? And I'm wondering if the Prak'sha is having any effect on him ?? Not really. His problems are purely his own.

    dianethx? Perhaps, the new player, Kavara, will teach him or then again maybe not. Looking forward to seeing how this will play out... ?? Luckily, you don?t have to wait too long. Whew! This chapter just didn?t want to happen?or at least happen with all the stuff it needed too.

    Thank you! [face_blush]

    Just a small warning, this is a very intense little chapter.
     
  21. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    Chapter Thirteen

    She is fast, Ben?al thought as he rolled to his knees in an attempt to get back to his feet. Faster than he could have imagined, the thought was ripped from him by a powerful blow to the side with a narrow toe of Kavara?s boot. Ribs snapped under the impact that sent him flying again. Crashing to the floor, the apprentice caught himself with his left hand and controlled his fall allowing his body to twist. Powerful legs kicked out and sent the attacking Sith on the retreat.

    Free of the red haired woman, the Jedi bound to his feet, and quickly brought his weapon about, ready to defend against a follow through attack. Kavara was not like any enemy he would like face in his life. She had made her name in the brutalization and slaughter of others long before anyone thought to train her in the Force. Her untamed powers had deemed her a goddess among the people of the small world she hailed from. Her cruelty knew no bounds to those who had intentionally or not offended her. Fear and death was all she gave those who bowed before her. It was only after the slaughter of a thousand innocents who refused to serve her wishes that she gained the attentions and passions of Lord Jathra, who personally took her training in the Force upon himself.

    Wherever the living goddess went, beings bore the scars of her visit.

    Rushing forward, Ben?al met the Sith on his terms.

    Fiery blades crashed together as white sparks rained down between them. The Jedi?s strength more than enough to push the woman back but the Dark Side was powerful in Kavara. An invisible wall of energy hampered Ben?al?s attacks as he lashed out, desperate to put the woman on the defensive. The electrical surge that had flowed through him shortly before did more than enough to aid Kavara in the battle.

    The Force twisted at her will, shoving the Jedi backward. The sweep of her crimson blade slashed through the muscle of Ben?al?s upper right arm. A surprised gasp was all he allowed before withdrawing from her extended reach.

    He had not seen that coming.

    ?Does it hurt, Little Jedi?? the Sith purred as she slid across the floor, her mesmerizing green eyes studying him.

    Ben?al exhaled sharply as he gripped the wound. He followed her intense appraisal and felt strangely naked before her as if she were seeing through him. The shift of his shoulder caused the light colored tunic to pull and gape open. Charred material separated revealing the red of the deep cut.

    Games, nothing more, he decided. There would be no humoring her. Adjusting his footing and bending his knees slightly, he then took the long hilt of Master Juurmon?s lightsaber in his left hand. Drawing his arm up and back, he carefully raised his right arm, the wounded muscle burning with every movement. He was already dreading the eventual visit to the healing center once they returned to Coruscant.

    Reaching out, as if to guide the blade with his right hand, he completed his stance that would easily serve him offensively and defensively. With his gaze tight on the Sith, he rocked back onto the heel of his left foot as his then shifted his weight against the ball of his right. There was no move the witch had that could not be countered from that position.

    ?Should I be afraid?? Kavara teased as she began to pace over the dull floor. Her heels clicked with every step. Her eyes sparkled like fine emeralds as she shifted but never turned her even gaze from the apprentice.

    The longer she stalled, the more he knew he had her.

    ?We cannot stand here and stare at each other all day,? she whispered.

    ?I agree,? Ben?al quickly replied, then topped it off with a bright grin. ?After all, I do have a Chancellor to rescue.?

    ?Arrogant child.?

    The Jedi?s sore muscles strained, as he remained positioned and ready to strike at the slightest provocation.

    He might be arrogant, but at least he could back up his words with action, he silently thought. Then made the promise to never allow her the upper hand again.

    In the distance of a heartbe
     
  22. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    I'm truly speechless Red! That was so vivid I felt as if I were watching it on tv or at a movie. I could almost feel his pain. Wonderful! Bravo! :)
     
  23. Keeper_of_Swords

    Keeper_of_Swords Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2003
    Excellent Combat!
     
  24. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    WOW WOW WOW
     
  25. Calantha

    Calantha Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 25, 2002
    :eek: Wow! That was intense! Your action scenes are just wonderful....not to be redundant, but wow....you're absolutely incredible, Red.

    I apologize for lurking. I finished exams for my first term at college today, so now I can reply more often.

    ~Calantha

    [Edit] How am I supposed to go to sleep now? Too much adrenaline. 8-}
     
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