Saga Tales From A Jedi Master( Preview rough draft)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JediMaster_of_Sorrow, Sep 15, 2004.

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  1. JediMaster_of_Sorrow Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2004
    star 1
    This is a rough preview draft of a story i am working on called Tales From A Jedi Master
    it Follows the last few days of the republic thru the eyes of Jedi Master Anton Su...........(this a rough draft i might change it but i might not so hopefullly everything works well)


    StarWars
    Tales From A Jedi Master
    By JediMaster_Of_Sorrow


    Time Has A funny Way Of standing Still at certain times in life and this time was no diffrent........bodies and bodies is all one could see when at the temple,Bodies of old friends and padwans the very sight made me sick to my stomache,
    after recieving a message on my way back from my latest mission from saber instructor Kiel that the temple was under attack by republic stormtroopers and a unkown cloaked assassin, i had a immediate fear growing inside of me
    of what i might find when i arrived back at the temple.......and not only was my fear correct but the disturbance i had felt in the force was easily noticable as well.
  2. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    interesting, even if the tense switches were confusing. I'll hope to see more of this.
  3. JediMaster_of_Sorrow Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2004
    star 1
    thank you very much for those words of encouragement
    i will proably change a litte of my story but what i am try to to capture is the raw emotion of what one would be going thru during these last few day of the jedi order and the old republic....wish me luck on getting it prefected....ps: any suggestions and comments are welcomed
  4. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Well, that's pretty much what you've captured. It was a striking post.

    I'll pm suggestions when i have any because that's nicer.
  5. JediMaster_of_Sorrow Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2004
    star 1
    Here is the corrected version it has been altered some and i hope its for the better


    StarWars

    Tales From A Jedi Master
    By JediMaster_Of_Sorrow


    Chapter 1 Sorrows,and more Sorrows

    It was Belived that no Jedi master could ever show emotion...... but walking thru the entrance of the jedi temple and seeing all the carnage around me i would beg to differ
    Jedi's where strewn every where like a giant wirlwind had picked them up and flung them every where, by the looks of it they where caught by supprise, most had thier sabers still attached
    to thier belts,but still a few of the Jedi's had thier saber next to them or still clutched in thier lifeless hands...if they still hand thier hands thats is,
    walking over to the comunication's room that the Jedi Order had setup shortly after the begining of the Clone Wars... i reviewed the reckage of
    com systems and such, somebody certainly wanted us not send communications anymore, looking around the room more i discoverd the lifeless
    and slumped body of Saber Instructor Kiel with a combination of blaster burns and cuts from a saber there was no hope for him, i still remember the last Transmission i had recived from
    him .........I was on Utapau Geting ready leave after the great battle that had taken place there had ended when R6 -J6 wislted me a Alert of a emergency transmission from the jedi temple in courscant
    after imputing the right privacy frequency code in Kiel's holo image appeared, Looking quite out of breath and quite scared which i have never seen him be like before he was only able to get a very short message out before the transmission ended
    after hearing the message I felt a great disturbance in the force that put shivers down my spine.


    Standing there in the wrecked message room i could only ponder on who the assassin could be,who ever the assassin was handled his saberblade with uncanny accuracy and skill, the only way i could find out about the unkown Assassin was thru the security cameras in the temple hopefully they where still intact.
    Heading into the security room i looked around most of the equipment was damaged but it looked like the Stormtroopers missed a console
    i hurried over to the console and brought up the most recent footage i could find.................I was speechless after reviewing the footage
    i knew that saber style and i reconized that one bare hand and one gloved hand holding onto that saber,yes this was quite disurbing indeed.
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