Welcome to the RPF!
Discussion in 'Role Playing Resource' started by Sinrebirth, May 18, 2008.
lol @ Ramza and DVC.
Whatd'ya say we call it even?
You've changed things. Forever.
Anxiously awaiting that sequel, by the way, Sinrebirth.
I have an idea for another instalment, and am working on it.
Lovely Sinre, bravo, as usual, your writing skills are very impressive. Maybe you could write an introduction on the menu's at my restaurant? Haha, but in all seriousness excellent work.
Sorry, I eventually managed to write something, but the all that I am doing in the one game I am in is not giving me any time to do any more, just yet.
Something I cooked up for lols and giggles on my spare-time.... . This is not in Sinre's RPF City framework
Secret RPF GM Meetings -or- A Scene from the Dark Knight, RPF Style
[Laughter fills the room]
The Hammer: And I thought I told bad jokes.
Ktala: Give me one reason I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off.
[The Hammer pulls out a freshly sharpened pencil.]
The Hammer: How about a magic trick?
The Hammer slams the pencil into the table, leaving it upright.
The Hammer: I'll make this pencil disappear.
[Ktala nods. Her BODYGUARD MOVES at the Hammer- who sidesteps his head- slams it, face down, onto the table... The Bodyguard goes limp and slides off of the table. The pencil is gone. MAGIC. The Hammer bows. Grins at Ktala.]
The Hammer: And by the way, the suit wasn't cheap. You should know. You bought it.
Ktala stands, furious. Sinrebirth stops her.
Sinrebirth: Sit. I wanna hear proposition.
[The Hammer his thanks. Rises]
The Hammer: Let's wind the clocks back a year. These players and RPers wouldn't dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did, did your balls drop off? Hm? You see, a guy like me...
The Hammer: [ignoring] A guy like me... Look, listen. I know why you choose to have your little...
The Hammer: ...group therapy sessions in broad daylight. I know why you're afraid to go out at night... The Winged Jedi. See, Winged Jedi has shown the RPF your true colors, unfortunately. Ramza? He's just the beginning.
[indicates Saintheart on the video phone]
The Hammer: And as for the television's so-called "plan?" The Winged Jedi has no "jurisdiction." He'll find him and make him squeal! I know the squealers when I see them, and...
Sinrebirth: What do you propose?
The Hammer: It's simple. We, uh, kill the Winged Jedi.
GreyJedi: If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?
The Hammer: If you're good at something, never do it for free.
GreyJedi: How much you want?
The Hammer: Half.
[Laughter. The Hammer shrugs. Rises.]
The Hammer: You don't deal with this now, soon Ktala won't even be able to get a nickel for her grandma-
Ktala: Enough from the Mod!
[Ktala gets up, moving at the Hammer, who casually opens his coat, revealing bansplosives wired to his chest. Ktala stops.]
The Hammer: Let's not blow this out of proportion.
[Ktala stares at the Hammer. Hard.]
Ktala: You think you can steal from us and just walk away? I'm putting the word out- 5 hundred posts for this mod dead. A million alive, so I get to teach him some manners, first.
[The Hammer shrugs. Turns to the assembled.]
The Hammer: Let me know when you change your minds.
[The Joker strolls out. GreyJedi turns to Saint.]
GreyJedi: How soon can you move the posts?
EXT. VARIOUS GAMES DOWNTOWN -- CONTINUOUS
Hammurabi hurries up the steps to a bank. SWAT teams rush the various banks.
Saintheart: I already have...
Priceless, Impy. A fantastic bit of script revision, that.
Oh gosh, Hammer, that was amazing. I've just realised that I'm gonna get killed by you, but ho hum.
I'm already imaging Xan as Winged's 'squeeze'. Who should be Harvey Dent? Ramza, perhaps? Hammurabi as Inspector Gordon absolutely rules. You, Hammer, are a genius. Someone film this movie!
Scarecrow should be Lightwarden... but what about the Mayor? Or the Commissioner? Or the Judge? Too many choices, I say, too many!
Who should be Alfred?
Sinre - Just cause I'm a girl ...
That and he seems to enjoy getting you killed.
This is true.
Nice one. I can't believe I get Batman.
[laryngitis]I'm whatever the RPF needs me to be...you'll hunt me...condemn me...set the mods on me. Because that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes, Jedi vs Sith isn't good enough...sometimes RPers deserve more.[/laryngitis]
I suppose I should now develop a suitably Bale-esque presence around the forums. Hey Reynar, was it you messing with the lights in that last Man Cubs scene? WHAT DON'T YOU ******* UNDERSTAND?!!
So here's an idea...
...next time we do this, can we submit CSes?
I didn't know about this...well time to exploit it like anything
[Walking down stairs, pauses as he sees his fellow drogs]
DarthRazma: Hi, Hi, Hi there!
Skywalker Shine: Well, Hello!
Rally_Fan: He has arrived! Hooray!
DarthRazma: Wellie, wellie, wellie, wellie, wellie then
DarthRazma: What do I owe to the extreme pleasure of this surprise visit?
The Man In Black: We got worried, there we where waiting and talking in the RPchat, and . We thought you might have gotten like offended or something, so we decided to pay a visit to your nightly abode !
[Snorting laughter from Rally]
DarthRazma: Happy Pollylodges! I merely had a pain something of a pain in the Gulliver. I was not awaken when I gave orders for waiting
Rally_Fan: Sorry about the pain, Maybe your using the Guilver too much then!
[Snorting laughter from Rally_Fan, as MIB leans on the back of his chair]
Rally_Fan: Giving orders and discipline and such perhaps. Are you sure the pain is gone? Are you sure you don?t want to sleep it off, and be happier back in bed?
[Snorting laughter from Rally_Fan, until he stops as a hard look enters Razma?s eyes, as he swings his cane over his shoulder. With slow graceful moments, Razma looks into MIB's face, and then sits abruptly on Rally_Fan's lap, but in a face to face style. A long pause occurs as a look of terror spreads across Rally_Fan's face, while MIB merely looks on.]
DarthRazma: Let?s get things nice and sparkling clear. This sarcasm, if I may call it such, does not become you my little brothers. As I am your drog and leader I?m entitled to know what goes on.
[Nervous laughter from Rally_Fan as Razma grabs his checks with one hand]
DarthRazma: Now Nick what does that big great, horsey grin goat at?
The Man In Black: Alright brother, there will be no more making fun of Rally Fan, brother. Its part of the New Way.
Razma: New Way? What?s this about a new way? There?s been a lot of large talk behind my sleepy back hasn?t there?
The Man In Black: If you must have it, have it then. We go along making lame Superhero RPs and the like with a pitful rucker few posts in our RPs. Woking our bums off with nothing but a few handme downs to show for it! I want the big, big Sinre posts! We want the big, big Sinre level of posts. I know a English fellow, named JEDI_TEEGIRLOOI who would help us spread the word and gather people up. I say its time to make a RP about a pouplar Japan Animation cartoon!
Rally Fan: Yes the big big post levels
Razma: But you have anything you want right there do you not? You want an epic battle scene, you merely pluck it from the trees! And what would you do with the big, big post levels?
The Man In Black: You think like a child somtimes brother. You think small! I want the big time, a VIP color!
Imp, that was... amusing. Kudos.
A Clockwork Ramza?
Well, I am partial to my Luddy V.
Imp, if you do that again, give me a cameo.
Saintheart: You're a hard man to reach.
[Imperial_Hammer storms onto the roof and angrily shuts off the Wingsignal]
Saint: Reynar_Tedros's halfway to Hong Kong. If you would've asked, I would've taken his account! I told you to keep me in the loop!
Hammer: All that was left in the vaults were marked posts! They knew we were coming! As soon as your office got involved--
Saint: My office?! You're sitting down there with scum like Darth_Elu and spacelady, and you're talking to ... Oh yeah, Hammer. I almost had your rookie cold on a racketeering beef!
Hammer: Don't try to cloud the fact that clearly greyjedi has people in your office, Saint!
Saint: [to Winged Jedi] We need Tedros back. But the RPers won't extradite a national under any circumstances.
Winged Jedi: If I get him to you, can you get him to talk?
Saint: I'll get him to sing.
Hammer: We're going after the RPF's life savings. Things will get ugly.
Saint: I knew the risks when I took this job, Lieutenant. [turns back to Winged Jedi] How will you get him back any...
[Winged Jedi has disappeared]
Hammer: He does that.
darthramza: [bringing over champagne] A little liquid courage, sir?
Saint: You're ramza, right?
darthramza: That's right, sir.
Saint: Xan talks about you all the time. You've known Xan her all her life?
darthramza: Well, not yet, sir.
Saint: Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
darthramza: Oh, you have no idea.
Seeing how this is supposed to be a story about RPF City...I decided to change my story.
A slightly different sort of low literature, to be updated if people want it.
A precautionary parody in some number of acts, long after the Ruritanian fashion, with profound apologies to William Goldman.
A long time ago in the land of TheForce, there lived a girl called DarthXan318. Why she was called such and what it meant were pondered by all and known to none, but the general consensus was that she was to be called just 'Xan' whenever possible. Xan lived on a farm in the countryside and aspired to be an writer, a writer who created stories of the most beautiful thing in the world: the love of one man for his lightsaber. To this end, she retained an assistant, a boy named Sarge 221 .
Xan loved giving Sarge orders. ?Assistant, grammer check this RP before I release it. I want it ready when I send this game to the publishers in the morning.?
And Sarge would always say one thing in reply: ?Okay.?
For a long time, it was the same day after day. ?Assistant, Grammer check this for this story update for me.?
?Assistant, make sure the game mechanics work.?
One day, as she was researching what a parsc was, Xan had an epiphany. When Sarge said 'okay', what he really meant was 'I like you.' The second epiphany came in the middle of the following night when Xan realized that she liked Sarge, too.
?Assistant, pass me that pencil sharpener.?
And so a relationship was thrown headlong into the world with naught but a stack of naughty romance RPs to prepare it for the harsh nature of reality. For a time Xan and Sarge were happy this way, living on their farm-studio with each other for company... But one day there was a communist revolution in EU Literate and the economy of The Force took a turn for the worse. Suddenly writing RPs wasn't enough to make ends meet. Sarge's heart was heavy, but he knew what he had to do. He decided to travel to the Poisoned Lands, AKA Fanfiction to the east and make a quick fortune as a fanfiction writer, a much despised but more marketable version of Role Playing.
The pair's parting was a painful one. ?You'll come back safely, won't you??
?Of course I will, Xan. I'll be very careful.?
?But what if you step on a land mine or get cancer??
?Xan, no matter what happens, I'll come back to you.?
?But how can you be so confident??
?Nothing can beat the power of love. Isn't that the message our work carries to the world??
Sadly, it was not to be so easy. En route to Fanfiction, Sarge's convoy was attacked by the Proletarian Pirate, Winged Jedi, who never takes prisoners. When Xan heard the news, she was despondent.
?I will never right RPs again.?
Karma, however, is a spiteful witch. Not long after Sarge was lost, Xan received a request that she didn't have the heart to refuse.
?People of TheForce,I present to you our new Public Relations Director, the famous Role Player DarthXan318!? So saying, the Grand Mod Imperial Hammer led Xan out onto the balcony above the central courtyard of the Role Playing Resource Castle, the building that symbolized the power of the land of The Force. Xan's talent had landed her a job here in the capital, and suddenly her times with Sarge seemed like no more than a fading dream.
In the months which followed, Xan worked hard at her job and did well. Everyone respected her and she was financially solvent for the first time in many years, but in her heart the young writer knew that she could never be truly happy after losing her assistant. Though Hammer talked of promoting her to greater things and ensuring her role in the continued rise of The Force, the only thing she truly enjoyed any more was riding her bicycle along the old forest roads outside the capitol city.
And so it was that one day Darth Xan met three strangers on a road not far from the coast. One of them, wore the style of armor Fett used in the movies made in a galaxy far, far way. The other was a giant of a man with a short trim beard, and