Welcome to the RPF!
Discussion in 'Role Playing Resource' started by Sinrebirth, May 18, 2008.
I just clued in to MiB's name...
You guessed my name? Pen, I am now making you the sage of this story.
and thank you Ram, you could tell this was rushed, as their are a LOT of mistakes. I mention a character named birdy but describe him, and mixed up a lot of his and hers in there.
Also expect references to Afro Samaria, War Hammer 40K, Dr. Strangelove and a few other animes. But yes this will be, a princess bride remake before all else.
More love from the RPFtrix ... Reloaded:
Saintheart: Down here, sometimes I think about all those people still plugged into the RPF and when I look at these CSes I can't help thinking that in a way we are plugged into them.
darthramza: But we control these CSes; they don't control us.
Saintheart: Of course not. How could they? The idea is pure nonsense. But?it does make one wonder... just... what is control?
Saintheart: If we wanted, we could drop out of an RPG.
Saintheart: Of course. That's it. You hit it. That's control, isn't it? If we wanted we could smash them to bits! ... Although, if we did, we'd have to consider what would happen to our forums, our users, our moderators?
darthramza So we need CSes and they need us. Is that your point, moderator?
Saintheart: No. No point. Oldbies like me don't bother with making points. There's no point.
darthramza: Is that why there are no newbs on the Mod Squad?
Saintheart: ... Good point.
Imperial_Hammer: Mr. Ramza! Did you get my PM?
Hammer: Well good.
[Back in the real world]
Sarge221: Whoever it is, he's not reading like a moderator.
[In the Matrix]
Hammer: Surprised to see me?
Hammer: Then you're aware of it.
ramza: Of what?
Hammer: Our connection. I don't fully understand how it happened, perhaps some part of you imprinted onto me, something overwritten or copied- it is at this point irrelevant; what matters is that whatever happened, happened for a reason.
ramza: And what reason is that?
Hammer: I banned you, Mr. ramza, I watched you deleted - with a certain satisfaction, I might add... and then something happened. Something that I knew was impossible, but it happened anyway. You edited me, Mr. ramza. Afterwards, I knew the rules, I understood what I was supposed to do... but I didn't. I couldn't. I was compelled to stay. Compelled to disobey. And now here I stand because of you, Mr. ramza. Because of you, I'm no longer a moderator of this RPF. Because of you, I've changed, I'm unplugged- a new mod, so to speak. Like you, apparently free.
Hammer: Thank you.[Smiles for a moment before continuing] ...But, as you well know, appearances can be deceiving, which brings us back to the reason why we're here. We're not here because we're free... we're here because we're not free. There's no escaping plotline, no denying Game Rules, because as we both know, without Game Rules... we would not RP.
Hammer: It is Game Rules that created us.
Hammer 2: Game Rules that connect us.
Hammer 3: Game Rules that pull us.
Hammer 4: That guide us.
Hammer 5: That drive us.
Hammer 6: It is Game Rules that define us.
Hammer 7: Game Rules that bind us.
Hammer: We are here because of you, Mr. ramza. We're here to take from you what you tried to take from us. [Plunges his hand into ramza's chest and attempts to copy himself over him] Game Rules.
Whoa. I know Kung Fu.
Winged, that Modfather bit was masterful. I lol'd.
Re-read Hammurabi's one and figured I had to do this:
BobaMatt: Until this Resource Forum is fully operational we are vulnerable. The D.E.N.T.A.L. Union is too well-equipped; they're more dangerous than you realise.
HanSolo29: Dangerous to your games, game master -- not to this Resource Forum.
BobaMatt: The D.E.N.T.A.L. Union will continue to gain support in the Mod Squad and--
Imperial_Hammer: The Mod Squad will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Head Admin has removed the Squad forums permanently. The last remnants of the old administration have been swept away.
BobaMatt: It's impossible! How will the Head Admin maintain control, without the bureaucracy?
Imperial_Hammer: The board moderators now have direct control of their territories. Fear will keep the local users in line -- fear of this Resource Forum!
BobaMatt: And what of the D.E.N.T.A.L. Union? If the unionists have obtained a complete technical readout of this forum it is possible, however unlikely, that they might find a weakness -- and exploit it.
Saintheart: The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands.
HanSolo29: Any attack made by the unionists would be a useless gesture -- no matter what technical data they've obtained! This forum is now the ultimate power in the RPF -- I suggest we use it.
Saintheart: Don't be too proud of this informational terror you've constructed. The ability to direct a user is insignificant, next to the power of the ban.
HanSolo29: Don't try to frighten us with your VIP's ways, Lord Saintheart. Your sad devotion to that ancient TOS has not conjured up the stolen data tapes. Or given you clairvoyance enough to find the unionists' hidden fortr--
(Saintheart gestures. HanSolo29 is edited.)
Saintheart: I find your lack of dramaz disturbing.
Imperial_Hammer: Enough of this! Saintheart, unban him!
Saintheart: As you wish.
HanSolo29: Ahh! *thunk*
Imperial_Hammer: This flaming is pointless. Lord Saintheart will provide us with the plans by the time this forum is operational. We will then crush the Union with one swift stroke!
You know of the D.E.N.T.A.L. union against the Empire?
Nice to see us blue collar RPers getting a mention.
I feel like something philosophical hit me, Saint!
Maybe people wondered a few month ago what happened to the 128ABY-series? Well, I knew, all the time. And I canÂ´t keep my mouth shut anymore. Today, I break the silence.
No matter what they told you. HERE is the TRUTH
The D.E.N.T.A.L.S. Advocate
*Penthouse of the Imperial Knights Fanclub, over-watching RPF-City*
*enter DarkLordoftheFins, still wearing his red armor from his latest Hespar Kessler Update*
*Sinrebirth waits, he wears hos usual casual mass-update-clothes aka Black Suit and sunglasses*
Sinrebirth: ItÂ´s not that you didnÂ´t care for SirakRomar. ...it's just that you were a little more involved with someone else, Fin. Yourself.
DarkLordfotheFins: You're right. I did it all. I let her go. I permabanned her.
Sinrebirth: Don't be too hard on yourself, Fin. You wanted something more. The Award.
DarkLordoftheFins: I left her behind and just kept updating.
Sinrebirth: You can't keep punishing yourself. It's awesome how far you've come. We other GMs didn't make it easy. Couldn't. Not for you ... or your sister. *s65horsey enters the room*
s65horsey: Don't let him scare you.
Sinrebirth: We had so many GMs here. We had so many disappointments. Lock after Lock. And then theirs you! The two of you!
DarkLordoftheFins: What do you want from me?
Sinrebirth: I want you to be yourself! You know, I'll tell you, ...updates... they are like a bag of frekinÂ´ bricks. All you got to do is set it down. I know what you're going through. I've been there. Three pages of updates a week. 128ABY. Just come here. Come here. Let it go.
DarkLordoftheFins: I can't do that.
Sinrebirth: Who are you doing all the updates and rules for? *claps his hands, mocking* The mods? Really? The mods?
*DarkLordoftheFins looks confused, s65horsey sneaking around him handing him a glass of Whisky*
Sinrebirth: ...let me give you . . . a little inside information about Mods! Mods like to watch! They are watchers. Think about it! They give people . . . boards! They give us these extraordinary gift and then what do they do? I swear, for their own amusement . . . *Sinre points at the thread above* their own private soap opera. They set the rules in opposition.
DarkLordoftheFins: But . . .
Sinrebirth: ItÂ´s the goof of all time. GM, but donÂ´t play. Play, but donÂ´t godmod. Godmod, but donÂ´t autokill! And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what are Saintheart and Imperial Hammer doing? They are laughing their sick head off! They are watchers! They are SADISTS! They are ABSENTEE LANDLORDS! Worship them? Follow their rules? NEVER!
DarkLordoftheFins: *suddenly depressed but clam* So better to rule in the EUC than serve in the RPF?
Sinrebirth: WHY NOT? We have been here on the ground with our noses in it since the whole thing began! We have nurtured every sensation StarWars-Fans have been inspired to have! Clone Wars! NJO! Legacy of the Force discussions!
We CARED about what they wanted and we NEVER BANNED THEM? Why? Because we never rejected them,
in spite of all their lack for canonicity and love for Sith-rehash!
I'm a fan of the Expanded Universe!
I'm a CANONoligist.
Maybe the last CANONoligist!
*both pause. Fin only nods in terrified understanding*
Who, in their right mind Fin, could possibly deny... that THIS AWARD-SEASON was entirely mine?
*Sinrebirth holds up his various 128ABY Awards*
It's my time now, Fin.
It's our time.
s65horsey: Anybody wants a drink?
DarkLordoftheFins: I am having a drink. *turning to Sinrebirth* So what do you want?
Sinrebirth: MasterPrenn was right. I want you to take over 128 ABY.
DarkLordoftheFins: I that it?
Sinrebirth: No. Your vanity is justified, Fin. Your adop
IsnÂ´t that the wrong thread for historical documents, SirakRomar? Well, yeah people. More or less thatÂ´s what happened back then
Very funny, Sira, very funny. Even as half the jokes are on me, I must admit you beautifully have woven real life into DevilÂ´s Advocate. Which somehow, gives me the creeps.
Kira! How did get hold of that file? I thought I'd deleted it?
*Giving this a shot, using the script from Black Adder Goes Forth*
Lightwarden: Sithy, what are you doing out there?
Sith-I-5: I'm carving something on a bullet.
Lightwarden: What are you carving?
Sith-I-5: I'm carving "Sith-I-5", sir.
Sith-I-5: It's part of a cunning plan, sir.
Lightwarden: Of course it is. Although it is up to the GM to decide just how cunning it is, but anyway, what?s the plan?
Sith-I-5: You know how they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it?
Sith-I-5: Well I thought that if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'll never get hit by it. Cause I'll never shoot myself...
Lightwarden: Oh, shame!
Sith-I-5: And the chances of there being *two* bullets with my name on it are very small indeed.
Lightwarden: Well I?m rolling the die as we speak, but yes, it's not the only thing that is "very small indeed". Your brain for example- is brain's so minute, Sith, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.
absoltuely brilliant you two. greatly enjoyed reading those.
and i was just waiting for you to take a stab at it sithy, well worth the wait.
I simultaneously wonder why I was chosen for that role, and appreciate that I was the Moff who understands the true threat player unions pose...
I love the multi-layered parody underlying your piece SirakRomar . . .erm . . . sis.
Bittersweet. A crowning achievment in historical documentation. Shame on Fin. That he had given in, after all.
GM, but donÂ´t play. Play, but donÂ´t godmod. Godmod, but donÂ´t autokill! And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what are Saintheart and Imperial Hammer doing? They are laughing their sick head off! They are watchers! They are SADISTS! They are ABSENTEE LANDLORDS!
Mmmmmm. I always liked that part of being a deity.
Excellent work, Sirak!
Yeah, me too.
Thank you! Always nice to see someone thinking about me.
I realised too late that this probably wasn?t what you intended, but hey, I need to exorcise it now.
911 Operator: 911 Emergency. Police, Fire or-
Anakin Skywalker: I just learned the terrible truth. I think Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord.
911 Operator: [suprised] A Sith Lord?
Anakin Skywalker: Yes, the one we've been looking for.
911 Operator: ?Kay?and which service do you require?
Anakin Skywalker: I guess, all of them. He's been trained to use the Dark Side, you know?
911 Operator: Please stay calm, sir. Units are on the way.
And if I ever adopted a newbie, courtesy of Return of the Jedi.
RPF Adoptee: Soon I'll be dead, and you with me.
Sith-I-5: Alright, hold on while I run through this god-moding thing, one more time.
Now, you can write the actions and results for your characters, but you have to allow me to write the results for mine. You cannot make that decision for me.
RPF Adoptee: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
Sith-I-5: And stop quoting SW at me! Wow, never thought I would write that.
*snorts* those were great sithy. i can totally see that anakin/911 controler thing. hilarious.
somehow, i believe you. that is one padawan who would not be terribly long for this world...
Chancellor Palpatine is pretty sneaky-devious, you know...
Emperor Palpatine, Bad Boys style.
"I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning, call each other up, 'Good morning, Mothma. Good morning, Luke. How you doin'? Ai'ight. So how we going to **** up the Emperor's life today? Gee, I don't know. I don't know. Ooh, look. Over there. Let's go destroy the Death Star!"
*snorts and laughs* most excellent sithy. most excellent.
i could actually see palps saying something like that if he got mad enough.
Cheers, Trimaj! Thought I would plunder the Bad Boys franchise today.
Admiral Ackbar: Green Wing from Home One; crash your A-Wing into the bridge of that Super Star Destroyer!
A-Wing pilot: [over comlink] No way! I'm not getting suspended again.
Ackbar: I'm gonna whoop your choob if you don't crash that A-Wing into the Executor, RIGHT now!
Threepio: You see that?
Han Solo: Spinning rocks. How'd I not see that?
Threepio: Sir, I'm just trying to be helpful.
Han Solo: Hey, you'd know what would be ******' helpful, Goldenrod? Just shut the **** up and let me fly, let's try that.
Qui-Gon?s ghost to Padawan Kenobi - TPM:
Now that's how you supposed to fight, from now on that's how you fight! Oh man, I want my next padawan to fight like that, WOOOOO... it takes a dysfunctional fragger to cut someone in half like that. That's some disfunctional sith! My next padawan's gonna invite me to his barbeques and sith, though.
Emperor: ?The Death Star? How did you manage to destroy a battle station??
Vader: ?Uh, we didn?t-? [Palpatine puts up a palm to stop him talking, as he leads the way into the throne room]
Emperor: WOOSAH! WOOSAAAAH. Okay, positives; thank the Force no dia?nogas died. Okay, I know there are always two sides to a story, so, what?s yours?
Sate Pestage: I was at a family barbecue.
Vader: We got a tip that the Alliance had a secret base on Yavin.
Sate: That?s what they call where they launch their attacks from.
Emperor: Sate, I know what they call them. That's why I'm Emperor. So, you destroyed the base?
Darth and Sate shake their heads.
Emperor: ?so, you got some prisoners?
Darth and Sate shake their heads.
Emperor: No prisoners?so where is this base?
Sate: Your Majesty, I was at a family barbecue?
Vader: We don?t know, but we are going to find out.
Emperor: [Points at moving hologram]
So that was all for nothing?
Vader: Oh, we didn?t do all that. If you look close, wait, there are X-Wings and-
Emperor: [stammers] X-X-X-Wings?! ****!
Sate: Your Highness, remember your pressure points [starts to rub the lobes of his own ears, in demonstration.]
Emperor: [leans against the wall, rubbing his lobes] Woooosaaahhh?
Vader: [On comlink, gets repair bill for damaged TIE] TWENTY-TWO THOUSAND! Oh kiss my bla-, uh, Your Majesty, perhaps we can discuss potential reimbursement...
Emperor: The Empire doesn't cover personal property, Lord Vader, that's why we have Star Destroyers. Okay, I am through playing around; I got a million troopers? families to write to, I got convoys being shot up by Rebel starfighters. I do not want these animals taking over my galaxy, so I want you guys to do, whatever you do, whatever it takes, but do it now!
Order 55 (the dry run for '66):
Ki Adi Mundi: [bends over for the med-droid while staring at ZTA-6479] Drokker shot me in the ***, man!
Seventy-Nine: Who shot you in the ***?
Ki Adi Mundi: Who? That "who" would be you.
Seventy-Nine: Me? I shot you? I mean, I'm not saying I didn't shoot you. I did a lot of shooting. But I ain't saying I shot you in the ***...
[looks at scorch damage]
Seventy-Nine: But damn! Somebody shot you in the ***!
Ki Adi Mundi:[/b/>/>/>/>
LOL! again, great job sithy. i loved the vader/sate/palps one! literally made me LOL. which is a rarity (which you have caused on any number of occassions, i might add)
you all's are making me want to try one of these...
Cheers again. That was a fun couple of hours, compiling those. My faves were both Emperor ones, and the Qui-Gon one.
IMDB is da best for this. Find a film, there is a 'memorable quotes' link on the left; copy and paste one of the quote/exchanges, and try to think who you want to say what.
Definitely good fun.
Props to whoever's idea this was!