Social Tales from RPF City - Now Featuring Even More RPF Amateur Dramatic Theatre!

*nods* i can see how that would indeed prove useful. either that, or find a movie script online.

and hammer's the one that started it. actually in the RPFchat one time.


:snoopy

Wow...these are extremely funny!

I got this in the shower this morning. Get yer kilts on and yer bagpipes.

Saintheart: I shall tell you ... of Reynar_Tedros. Historians from the EUC will say I am a liar; but history is written by those who have banned heroes. The mod of the RPR had died without a son, and the mod of RPF, a cruel pagan known as Imperial "the Hammer" had claimed the throne of Resourceland for himself. RPR's VIPs fought him, and fought each other over the crown. So Imperial invited them to talks of truce - no flames, one sig only.

Amongst the threads of that shire was Winged_Jedi, an RPer with his own games. He had two sons: Sarge ... and Reynar.
Winged_Jedi: I told ye to stay!
Reynar: Weell, I've finished mah work. Where we goin'?
Winged_Jedi: Sinrebirth's. He was supposed t' meet wi' us when th' gatherin' was over.
Reynar: Can ah come?
Winged_Jedi: No! Go home, boy!
Reynar: (whining) But ah want t' go!
Winged_Jedi: Run home, Reynar, or ye'll feel th' back o' mah ban!


Reynar: We'll make posts. Hundreds of them, long posts. Twice as long as a man.
darthramza: That long?
Reynar: Aye.
darthramza: Some men are longer than others.
Mitth: Your mother been telling you stories about me again, eh?
Ktala: [laughs, speaking heavenward] Him? That can't be Reynar_Tedros. I'm prettier than this man. All right Father, I'll ask him. [To Reynar] If I risk my neck for you, will I get a chance to kill EUCers?
darthramza: Is your father a ghost, or do you converse with the Almighty?
Ktala: In order to find his equal, an oldbie is forced to talk to God. [Heavenward] Yes, Father. [To Reynar and darthramza] The Almighty says don't change the subject, just answer the ****ing question.
darthramza: Mind your tongue.
Mitth: Insane oldbie.
[Ktala pulls a sharpened stag's horn and holds it to the throat of Mitth]
Ktala: Smart enough to get a dagger past your guards, old man.
Reynar: That's my friend, oldbie. And the answer your question is yes - if you fight for me, you get to kill the EUCers.
Ktala: Excellent! Kat is my name. I'm the most wanted user on my island. Except I'm not on my island of course. More's the pity.
darthramza: Your island? You mean the Adoptions Program?
Ktala: Yeah. It's mine.
darthramza: You're a madman.
Ktala: [laughs] I've come to the right place then.



Ktala: The Almighty says this must be a fashionable fight. It's drawn the finest people.
BobaMatt: Where is thy CS?
Reynar: For presenting yourselves on this battlefield, I give you thanks.
HanSolo29: This is our player list. To join it you give a sheet!
Reynar:: I give homage to the RPR. And if this is your player base, why does it go?
DarthCemeroX: We didn't come here to post for them.
Yuul_Shamar: Home! The EUCers are too many!
Reynar: Sons of Resourceland! I am Reynar_Tedros.
Yuul_Shamar: Reynar Tedros is seven feet tall!
Reynar: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd consume the EUC with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.
[RPR army laughs]
Reynar: I AM Reynar Tedros! And I see a whole army of my country men, here, in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free users, and free users you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you post?
DarthCemeroX: Against that? No, we'll run, and we'll live.
Reynar: Aye, post and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our accounts, but they'll never take... OUR FORUM!


Reynar: I said I have an offer for you.
HanSolo29: You disrespect a banner of truce?
Reynar: Fr

Lack of blubeast love.

Nice Reynar/Winged dialogue, Saint.

-B-

From tonight's RPFchat.

Yah I know...

But I did it anyway...

So there.

Once upon a time...

[THREE FOURTH GRADE SCHOOL PHOTOS FILL THE FRAME, side by side by side. These are three very different girls.]

HanSolo29, with a page-boy cut and wearing a Catholic schoolgirl's uniform, sports glasses and braces; a bit awkward and gangly, even shy.

Xan, formally dressed with perfect pig-tails, is sophisticated and self-possessed; a class act, even at ten.

Sey, wild blond hair and faded T-shirt, has a jaded, street-wise smirk; even at this young age, her isolation and disillusionment are masked by seeming confidence.



... there were three very different little girls.

[The triptych remains on screen. Now it shifts into:]

VIDEO TAPE - THE THREE GIRLS (STILL IN TRIPTYCH)

[Now TEENAGERS, on HOME VIDEO.]

HanSolo29, working the A-V equipment at school, hides her face in embarrassment, uncomfortable with the camera.

Xan, in riding gear, accepting her steeple-chase trophy. She knows where to look for the camera.

Sey, smoking with her tough-girl friends in the girls' room of her reform school, is caught on camera. She flips it off.




Who grew up into three very different women.

[TRIPTYCH CONTINUES]

They're all WOMEN now, in their early twenties.

HanSolo29, a research fellow at MIT (and beautiful, but not flaunting it) demonstrates a chess-playing computer program to a room of impressed advisors.

Xan, valedictorian at Oxford, passionately delivers her address to a crowd of rapt students, faculty and parents.

Sey, in leather and a helmet, steps off a Harley. She sees a punk with a mohawk slapping around his girlfriend. She decks him, then enters the back door of a seedy punk bar.



With three things in common...

[TRIPTYCH ENDS]

With photographs again. The women, as they are now: HanSolo29, Xan, Sey. All gorgeous, all self-assured.



They're brilliant. They're beautiful. And they work for me.

[Now, FIREBALL EXPLOSIONS completely fill the screen.]



My name is Hammer.

[ANGEL SILHOUETTES appear, in flames. New MUSIC kicks in.]



"HAMMER'S ANGELS"



[...And a new title sequence takes over:]

[VARIOUS SHOTS: MONTAGE (OVER MUSIC)]

-- A microscope-peering HanSolo29 cuts a ruby, drops it in a laser housing, shoots a red beam.

-- Sey, wielding kendo sticks, spars with two Yakzuza.

-- Xan side-kicks two baddies, spins, drops a third.

[ZOOM BACK: she is at the Parthenon.]

-- A motocross race. HanSolo29 digs in for the finish, attacking the last jump with gusto.

-- Sey, in traditional Islamic robes, finds a secret switch. She pushes back a bookcase to reveal secret stairs.

-- At a ballroom dance competition, Xan wows the crowd while keeping her eye on a nefarious couple.

-- The three angels elbow their way through a roller- derby match.

-- In orange prison jumpsuits, Xan and Sey work in female chain-gang.

-- Window-washer HanSolo29 peers into a skyscraper office, surreptitiously photographing the meeting inside./>

I love it!

*Loves*

LOL!

Nicely done!

What was even cooler was that Hammer's Angels all got their responses in to that post first.

Now, does that make Ktala ... Demi Moore?

I lay claim to the position of 'freaky thin guy'.



*produces sort from his walking stick*

Mwhaha!

I only watched these films last month. I have missed out on such fun.

The one with the hair fettish?

yes... i must admit the changes were EXCEEDINGLY appropriate...

:snoopy

That was very well done.

Sithy

Because I feel like it...

Tales from RPF City - The Lightsaber Tournament

Location - Auditorium - City Hall - Downtown RPF City

Unlike most of the lands in the world of the JC, the Role Playing Territories were unique in that they were places of business. The Fanfic Islands were also such a place, but besides that, many lands were places of discussion and of habitation. In the Center of Downtown RPF City, flanked by large skyscrapers, the legacy of GM's past and present, was the administration of the RPF, the habitat of their Mods, City Hall.

Off one of the halls, a City Council Meeting was in progress. For RPF City, the "council" was comprised of Saintheart and Imperial_Hammer. Standing before them at the podium, dressed in an snappy suit, was darthramza.

"And as you can see sirs, my bankruptcy filling was a bit premature." he was saying. "Our expected 3rd Quarter losses were much less than my analysts predicted. My firm then humbly requests that our assets be removed from auction and our vendors license be restored."

Hammer shifted in his seat, adjusting his green and gold dress robes. Ramza was the last item of the day, and he wanted to get out of the auditorium. Ramza's assets, a newly constructed four story buisness center on the edge of town was due to be sold to the highest bidder in a week. Were it up solely to Hammer, he would have rejected the claim. The premature chapter 11 was foolish. But alas, Ramza Inc. was an important contributor to commerce. His "Aria" project was selling well before it was pulled from production. And more business was always good.

He looked over to his Co-Mod, clad in his Sandlewood robes. Then his gaze went back to Ramza.

"Your request has been noted Mr. Ramza and will be put to a vote of this council. All in favor of restoring Ramza Inc. to its pre-Chapter 11 Status?"

Both Hammer and Saint raised their hands.

"The request is unanimously approved. Proceed to the City Clerk's office after this hearing and your license will be returned."

Ramza looked notably relieved as he returned to his seat, his legal time a lit with smiles.

Hammer took a breath.

"And with that item complete, we have finished our agenda for this meeting. Minutes shall made available at the Clerk's office as per the JC's Freedom of Moderation Information act. Our next meeting shall be in one weeks time in this auditorium. This meeting is now adjourned."

He smacked his Imperial Gavel on its rest a few times, and it was finished. The small group that always came to council meetings stood up and began filing out.

"So are you still heading out to the tournament?" Hammer asked Saint as he gathered and strengthened his documents.

"Yep." Saint replied, doing the same. "Want to come along?"

"Yah I would like that!" I_H replied. "The ride to the Sinre Center is so long. It would be nice to have some company."

Saintheart nodded. "So you ready to go?"

"Yessir," Hammer said, moving towards the aisle leading out of the room.

"It was a good session." Saintheart said as the two mods began their walk. "I'm happy to see Ramza back in action."

Hammer nodded as they turned the corner. "Yes. I remember reading the Article in the RPF Daily Journal about it. Always good to have more business in town."

The two turned again, down the main corridor of the City Hall. Hammer had always enjoyed this room. It was lined with portraits and statues of the past moderators of the city. He found it exceedingly appropriate. Every day he went to work, he was reminded of the people that had made the city the one he now has jurisdiction over. It started with the pioneer portrait of Darth_Attorney, clad in the old EUC clothes of the time. Back then RPF City was just a forest outside of EUC. EUC Settlers struck out from the main city, seeking a place a more free and unfettered place to conduct commerce. From their log cabins, the city grew! After DA was Protege of Thrawn, or Pottorz the Grand. As mayor, he transformed the city from a small town to a booming metropolis. He

That was masterful, Hammer!

A great imagining of the RPF City, and nice to see everyone mentioned.

very, very well done hammer. gotta admit i wonder what in all you're going to do with this. i'll be reading along.

and i agree with I-5 completely.

:snoopy

Very nice, although I was surprised you didn't use DarthAttorney doing a Washington River Crossing painting in his old garb.

I hope to see how this continues if it does.