Social Tales from RPF City - Now Featuring Even More RPF Amateur Dramatic Theatre!

That is actaully pretty good.

 

That. Was. Hilarious!

 

With the benefit of hindsight, I think we can safely deduce that the Temp Boards were when I was frozen in carbonite.

 

Oh, heck, just read on to the next post...

 

THE DARK MOD RISES​

Random IGN Clone: [to three prisoners] The flight plan I just filed with the EUC lists me, my men, Dr. JediMasterAnne here but only one of you! First one to talk gets to stay on my aircraft!
[grabs a hood]
Random IGN Clone: Who paid you to grab Dr. JediMasterAnne?
[No answer, the agent fires his gun away from the prisoner's head]
Random IGN Clone: He didn't fly so good!
[pulls the hood back into the plane]
Random IGN Clone: Who wants to try next?
[grabs another prisoner]
Random IGN Clone: Tell me about ramza! Why does he link to Gundam so much? A lot of loyalty, for a hired gun!
darthramza: Or perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a man, before throwing him out of a plane?
Random IGN Clone: At least you can talk. Who are you?
darthramza: It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
[the Agent removes the hood]
darthramza: No one cared who I was until I put on the avatar.
Random IGN Clone: If I pull that off, would you die?
darthramza: It would be extremely painful--
Random IGN Clone: You're a big guy!
darthramza: --for you.
Random IGN Clone: Was getting caught part of your plan?
darthramza: Of course... Dr. JediMasterAnne refused our offer in favor of yours, we had to find out what she told you.
Dr. JediMasterAnne: Nothing! I said nothing!
Random IGN Clone: Well, congratulations! You got yourself caught! Now what's the next step in your master plan?
darthramza: Crashing this plane... with no survivors!


Sarge221: Not a lot of people know what it feels like to be edited, in your bones. I mean, they understand, moderators, everybody understands, for awhile. Then they want the edited little kid to do something he knows he can't do, move on. So after awhile they stop understanding. They send the edited kid to a boys home. I figured it out too late. You gotta learn to hide the editing, practice smiling in the mirror. It's like putting on a mask.


Spycoder9: There's a storm coming, Mr. Peng. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you're all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us.
Penguinator-176 You sound like you're looking forward to it.
Spycoder9: I'm adaptable.


Saintheart: [to Peng] Remember when you left the RPF? Before all this, before Batmanager? You were gone seven years. Seven years I waited, hoping that you wouldn't come back. Every year, I took a holiday. I went to the JCC, there's this cafe, on the banks of the Arno. Every fine evening, I'd sit there and order a Fernet Branca. I had this fantasy, that I would look across the tables and I'd see you there, with a wife and maybe a couple of kids. You wouldn't say anything to me, nor me to you. But we'd both know that you'd made it, that you were happy. I never wanted you to come back to the RPF. I always knew there was nothing here for you, except pain and tragedy. And I wanted something more for you than that. I still do.


Saintheart: I'll get this to Mr I-5, but no more. I've sewn you up, I've set your bones, but I won't bury you. I've buried enough members of the Peng family.
Penguinator-176 You'll leave me?
Saintheart: You see only one end to your journey. Leaving is all I have to make you understand, you're not the Batmanager anymore. You have to find another way. You used to talk about finishing a life beyond that awful avatar.
Penguinator-176 Xan died believing that we would be together; that was my life beyond the avatar. I can't just move on. She didn't, she couldn't.
Saintheart: What if she had? What if, before she died, she wrote a PM saying she chose Sinrebirth over you? And what if, to spare your pain, I deleted that PM?
Penguinator-176 How dare you use Xan to try to stop me?
Saintheart: I am using the truth, Master Peng. Maybe it's time we all stop trying to outsmart the truth and let it have its day. I'm sorry.
Penguinator-176 You're sorry? You expect to destroy my world and then think we're going to shake hands?
Saintheart: No... no, I know what this means.
Penguinator-176 What does it mean?
Saintheart: It means your hatred... and it also means losing someone that I have cared for since I first heard his cries echo through this forum. But it might also mean saving your life. And that is more important.
Penguinator-176 Goodbye, Saintheart.


Penguinator-176 Why didn't you just... ban me?
darthramza: You don't fear banning... You welcome it. Your punishment must be more severe.
Penguinator-176 Torture?
darthramza: Yes. But not of your userid... Of your forum.
Penguinator-176 Where am I?
darthramza: The Temp Boards, where I learned the truth about despair, as will you. There's a reason why this forum is the worst hell on earth... Hope. Every user who has ventured here over the centuries has looked up to the light and imagined moving to the permanent boards. So easy... So simple... And like shipwrecked men turning to sea water from uncontrollable thirst, many have died trying. I learned here that there can be no true despair without hope. So, as I terrorize the RPF, I will feed its userbase hope to poison their souls. I will let them believe they can survive so that you can watch them clamoring over each other to "stay in the sun." You can watch me torture an entire board and when you have truly understood the depth of your failure, we will fulfill Imperial_Hammer’s destiny... We will destroy the RPF and then, when it is done and the RPF is ashes, then you have my permission to die.




Ramza:Behind you stands a symbol of oppression; the EUC, where a thousand men have languished under the name of this man:
[holds up a picture of Sinrebirth]
Ramza: Sinrebirth, who has been held up to you as the shining example of GMing.
Sarge221: [to Fins, at Sarge's apartment] We're just going to keep moving you until we can get you in front of a startup.
Ramza: You have been supplied with a false idol to stop you from tearing down this corrupt city. Let me tell you the truth about Sinrebirth from the words of Gotham's great GM, the Dark Lord Of The Fins. 'The Batmanager didn't murder Sinrebirth, he saved my boy then took the blame for Sin's appalling crimes so that I could, to my shame, build a lie around this fallen idol. I praised the mad man who tried to murder my own child but I can no longer live with my lie. It is time to trust the people of the RPF with the truth and it is time for me to resign.' And do you accept this man's resignation? Do you accept the resignation of all these liars? Of all the corrupt?
Sarge221: Those men locked up for eight years in EUC, and denied parole under the Sin Act, based on a lie?
DarkLordOfTheFins: The RPF needed a hero...
Sarge221: It needs it now more than ever. You betrayed everything you stood for.
DarkLordOfTheFins: There's a point, far out there when the structures fail you, and the rules aren't weapons anymore, they're... shackles letting the bad guy get ahead. One day... you may face such a moment of crisis. And in that moment, I hope you have a friend like I did, to plunge their hands into the filth so that you can keep yours clean!
Sarge221: Your hands look plenty filthy to me, Fins.


Mitth_Fisto: You do not fear death. You think this makes you strong. It makes you weak.
Penguinator-176 Why?
Mitth_Fisto: How can you godmode faster than possible, post longer than possible without the most powerful impulse of the spirit: the fear of death.
Penguinator-176 I do fear death. I fear dying in here, while my forum burns, and there's no one there to save it.
Mitth_Fisto: Then make the post.
Penguinator-176 How?
Mitth_Fisto: As the child did. Without the rope. Then fear will find you again.


Crowd of users: [chanting] Deshi basara! Deshi basara!
Penguinator-176: What does that mean?
Livi-Wan: Move.


DarkLordOfTheFins: No jury? No witnesses? What kind of justice is this?
Winged_Jedi: This is not a trial. This is merely a sentencing. How do you wish to have your sentence carried out? Banning, or editing?
DarkLordOfTheFins: If you think we're going to walk out on that ice willingly, you got another thing coming!
Winged_Jedi: So, banning then?
DarkLordOfTheFins: Looks that way.
Winged_Jedi: Banning... by editing!


Spycoder9: My mother warned me about getting into cars with strange men.
Penguinator-176 This isn't a car.

 

Freaking lost it. And then it just got better after that!

 

Why the hell am I Rachel

 

Clearly Xani would've made a better Bane!

Spoiler: Meanwhile(Major Spoils)...

I'm the only one smart enough to know who Batman is.

.....AND THEN I BECOME BATMAN!

This was a good start to my morning. Walking through the door to my job, just happen to have this thread open on my phone, and everyone's looking at me funny due to this big grin on my face.

 

Just saw this! Laughing my head off right now!

 

Damn it, Ramza gets all the epic lines

 

I got a name check, not that I understand the context.

The last one with Spycoder and Peng raised a smile.

Not seen Dark Knight, so the ones that paraphrased the film lost their impact on me.

 

Very nice, why I end up as the Doctor in the Temp forums because of an Oppium situation is lost to me, still this made me smile

 

A longer post from a classic!

Many currently active users were purposefully omitted in anticipation of their role as fellowship members in future posts

--------------------

Ktala’s Voice: The RPF is changed: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it.

THE LORD OF THE POSTS

IMAGE: Flickering Firelight. The Forge of the Game Designer’s Guild.
Molten gold flows from the lip of an iron ladle.

Ktala’s Voice: It began with the writing of the Great Posts.

IMAGE: Three posts are received by the oldbies Ktala, GreyJedi and Lightside Apprentice.

Ktala: Three were given to the IBoPers, immortal, wisest...fairest of all beings.

IMAGE: Seven posts held aloft in triumph by various users.

Ktala: Seven to the posters of mid 2000s, great GMs and craftsmen of the Non Star Wars RPF.

IMAGE: Nine posts clutched tightly by other users...as if holding-close a precious secret.

Ktala: And Nine...nine posts were gifted to great RPFers who, above all else, desire power.

Ktala: For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each group

Ktala: But they were all of them deceived.

FADE UP: An ancient PARCHMENT MAP of the RPF...moving slowly across the MAP as if drawn by an unseen force the CAMERA closes in on a PLACE NAME... Role Playing Resource.

Ktala: ...for another post was made.

TEASING SHOTS: Imperial Hammer forging the ONE POST in the Chambers of the GDG.

Ktala: In the land of Resource, in the fires his PM Box, the Dark Mod Imperial_Hammer forged in secret a Master Post to control all others.

IMAGE: The ONE POST reflecting FIERY LAVA! Fire writing emerges on the plain words of gold.

Ktala: ...and into this Post he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all posting.

IMAGE: The ONE POST falls through space and into flames...

Ktala: One Post to rule them all...

IMAGE: A great shadow falls across the map

IMAGE: Screaming posters run from their homes, pursued by armies of hideous NPCs.

Ktala: One by one the free games of the RPF fell to the power of the Post.

Ktala: But there were some...who resisted.

FADE UP: Winged_Jedi, son of the King of Lea Monde, leads an Army across the plains OF the GDG...

Ktala: A last alliance of Posters and Panzers marched against the armies of Resource.

Ktala: On the slopes of Hammer’s PM Box they fought for the freedom of the RPF.

TEASING SHOTS: THE Battle of the GDG... THE IBoP Lord, GreyJedi commands rank after rank of oldbie archers... NPCs retreating before the Army of the Last Alliance... GreyJedi holds aloft the great sword.... Naboosil!

Ktala: Victory was near!

IMAGES: The huge, dark figure of Imperial_Hammer, bearing the ONE POST on his finger, looms over the field of battle...

Ktala: But the power of the Post could not be undone.

IMAGE: Hammer lays waste to the armies of the LAST ALLIANCE. With desperate courage, GreyJedi leads a charge... The Black Ban Hammer of I_H LASHES OUT!!

IMAGE: GreyJedi’s body falls like a crumpled rag doll. Winged_Jedi cradles the body of Grey in his arms. The Shadow of Hammer falls over him...

Ktala: It was in this moment… when all hope had faded, that Winged_Jed, son of the king, took up GreyJedi’s sword.

Winged snatches up the broken blade of Naboosil. The blade severs Hammer’s fingers, and the ONE POST flies from his body.

Ktala: Imperial_Hammer, the enemy of the Free Posters of the RPF, was defeated.

IMAGE: Hammer’s armor clatters to the ground. His body, gone, vaporized! CLOSE ON: Winged picks up the severed finger and removes the ONE POST ...transfixed!

Ktala: The Post passed to Winged_Jedi...who had this one chance to destroy evil forever.

IMAGE: GAW Fields ... Winged leads a small column of posters through a darkening woods ...the ONE POST glinting on a chain around his neck.

Ktala: But the hearts of RPFers are easily corrupted. And the Post of Power has a will of its own.

SUDDENLY! ARROWS FLY! They are ambushed by Trolls! Winged screams!

FADE TO BLACK

FADE UP: Winged materializes under water... as THE POST slips
slowly from his finger. Ripples of light play across Winged’s pale face... he is dead.

Ktala: It betrayed Winged to his death.

IMAGE: THE POST falls through the murky waters of the River Pash

Ktala: And some things that should not have been forgotten...were lost.

FADE TO BLACK

Ktala: History became legend...legend became myth.

FADE UP: The waters of the Pash River lie dark and undisturbed.

Ktala: And for two and a half thousand years THE POST passed out of all knowledge.

IMAGE: Silt swirls... A thin white hand reaches down...grasping the POST

Ktala: Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer!

IMAGE: The thin white hand opens to reveal one post.

Sith I-5: My Precious.

Ktala: The Ring came to the creature I-5, who took it deep into the tunnels of the 007 Mountains.

IMAGE: The gloom of a mountain cavern… a murky pool of water... in the darkness, the shadowy outline of an emaciated figure.

Ktala: And there, it consumed him.

A raspy voice mutters in the half light...

I-5: Itcame to me. My own. My love...My preciousness.

Ktala: The Post brought to Sith I-5 unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of I-5’s cave...

FADE TO BLACK

Ktala: It waited.

FADE UP: Bathed in cold moonlight, the RPF lies dark and still ...the unsettled quiet before the storm...

Ktala: Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a Shadow in the East...whispers of a nameless fear. And the Post of Power perceived...its time had now come. It abandoned I-5...

SLOW MOTION: Unseen by its keeper, THE POST falls to the muddy floor of the mountain tunnel.

Ktala: But something happened then THE POST did not intend...

FADE TO BLACK

IMAGE: Fumbling in the dark, a small hand closes over the POST

Ktala: It was picked up by the most unlikely poster imaginable...

Trieste: (to himself): What's this?

A youngish looking Trieste peers down at what lies in his hand...PERPLEXED by what he has found.

Ktala: A new user ....Trieste of Limmie.

Trieste (surprised): A Post.

Suddenly! A voice screams ... Its anguish ringing through the cold, dark tunnels

I-5: Lost! Lost! My Precious is lost!!

Frightened Trieste quickly pockets the ONE POST and hurries on.

DISSOLVE TO: WIDE ON: The camera soars away from the mountains, moving faster and faster, their dark green forests and jagged white peaks fading into the mists.

Ktala: For the time will soon come when new users will shape the fortunes of all.

 

And you say there's to be more?

 

HAHA

 

Genius - especially making the two "Jedis" father and son!

Can't wait for the next instalment...

 

Can I be Boromir? Gotta keep up the Sean Bean Death Record!

 

Please, we're mods, we obviously have to play villains.

 

I look forward to seeing more of this one.