Talon Intelligence Squadron | Proving There's No Solution Like Mayhem Since 2000! Join Us Today!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Trika_Kenobi, Jan 11, 2008.

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  1. Trika_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 1999
    star 6
    You've either jumped into this thread because I ordered you to, you accidentally stumbled in here, or because you're spying on us. Let me take care of all three types of readers.

    Welcome to the Talon Intelligence Squadron Restoration Project. TIS was a fantabulous squadfic that was started in January 2000 by the late Talon Squad Leader. It spanned twenty huge threads, two entire years, and dozens of authors. To be honest, nothing like it was ever seen at the JC and I can guarantee that nothing like it has ever been seen since. It was a masterpiece of craziness that turned into an incredible awesome story. You may recognize some of the authors' names even now on the JC.

    To again be honest, I enjoyed the story and the experience far too much to let it die off. It has been eight years since we all started penning the first words to TSL's squadfic, but most of us can?t stop thinking about it. It was simply too good of a story to let go.

    In honor of TSL and his wondrous creation, I took up my pen and began to rewrite the saga. Keeping the original concepts in tact, I set out to collect the posts and correct the grammar and plot holes. I built up certain characters that had been ignored and reduced to craziness of some others that had attempted to hijack the story. I put extra scenes in to explain why things happened. It's taken me a year and a half to get the first two threads completed.

    Needless to say, it's a huge project.

    I can't do it myself, and therefore I've enlisted the help of the originals. With their help in editing the story, we can truly make TSL's masterpiece a glorious work that, in my opinion, was never surpassed and is never going to be surpassed. The intention of this thread is to help gather ideas from multiple authors on the story itself, to edit the mistakes, and to put together the project. My personal intention is to get the story written, drawn, and put together so that it can be placed on its own website.

    Needless to say, it's a huge project.

    For those who accidentally stumbled in here, take a peek around if you'd like. If you've never heard of TIS, you're in for a treat. Other squadfics tried to spring up on the JC, but this one was the real deal. After we've edited a chapter fully, I intend to release it on the JC for everyone to read, so it'll be around in its full glory eventually.

    For those who are spying on us, you've probably heard of TIS and are wondering what in the world is going on. Lurk if you'd like; you're in for a treat. I promise this is the real deal. If you're spying on us and you were a Talon, join in the fray by PMing me for a copy of the story. We're eager for more Talons to join. You were a huge part of the saga, and we need your help!

    For those who I've ordered here, you'd better hop to it! We've got some story to edit, so get crackin'! :D

    Trika Adair, Talon Eleven
    Talon Intelligence Squadron, Special Operations Division, New Republic Intelligence Sector


    Current Talons
    Editors List (Crazy Partners-in-Crime)
    Albion
    Blue_Lightsaber42
    Darth McClain
    Darth Muis
    Idiots Array
    Jag4Me
    Jedi_Hood
    Jedi_Perigrine
    L0B0
    Lilith Demodae
    Mara Jade, Emperor's Hand
    PRINCESSCAMBRIA
    snowspeeder_gunner
    StarscreamPrime
    stoneheart
    Thumper09
    TiradePlateau

    Cute and Cuddly Newbie Readers List (Our Awesome Alarm System)
    silverfighter

    Amazing Awesomesauce-Filled Artists
    JediXManSerenaKenobi
    TrulyGhent

    Administrative Glue (My Obsessive Self)
    Trika_Kenobi
  2. Trika_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 1999
    star 6
    So far, by email, this is what we've got going.

    Darth Muis
    As far as ideas go: I've always felt that Star Wars literature (both official and fan created) have way too many human characters. I know I've said this before, but I have a point to make here: Maybe we could turn some other characters into aliens. I'm not saying we should change current characters into aliens, but there will be future characters we could make changes on. And when I'm talking aliens, I'm not talking near-humans, but real aliens... Ithorians, Aqualish, Gotals, etc. Just something I'd like to throw out there... We'll see. I just think it'll make the story feel even more Star Wars-sy... If that's even a word.

    Trika
    I'm all for it! We've got to maintain characters with real interaction, so those characters with an established history, etc. can't be changed. Those who do not, however, are ripe for the taking! If a character is only listed on the roster and did not participate, we'll go ahead and think about changing them.
    -----
    Darth Muis
    I mostly find myself wanting to make small changes to increase the realism of the story and to firmly secure a place in canon for it. So, for instance, I've been looking into excisting planets in canon that could be the planet that the Talons are training on. Obviously, it shouldn't be too far from Coruscant, seeing that they don't need to go into hyperspace to get there and because it's relevant to the story that it is near Coruscant. Luckily, the nearest planet to Coruscant in the Coruscant system actually fits the bill pretty good!
    -----
    Darth McClain
    I like the reworkings of characters ever so slightly. When you break that book down into subchapters with their own Word documents, it is not nearly so intimidating. I think Trika's Chinaési -ness could be a little better explained, but I'm not sure where that would fit in exactly.

    Trika
    I wanted to introduce certain effects of characters slowly. As for Trika, for example, I wanted the curiosity to build rather than give it all away. In the first book, her looks are mentioned, with very little background on her past. That's the way it is with a lot of the characters. I move into it slowly in books two and three because in the first book, the Talons know of each other for only a few weeks. They're training; no time for real chit-chat. Jaren and Telia, for example, have a unique background, but I worked it from an angle that not knowing exactly how long they dated and what circumstances were present when they broke up was better for the curiosity. Kevin, too. We know he's been set-up, but who are
    these people? What's his past? Since we all know what's in store for them all, I spread some of the intimate details out so that a history could build.

    I think I might can work something in there for you. I've been playing around with some ideas leading up to chapter... I think, ten. If you recall, Ski finds out that he was actually the one to lead the assualt on Trika's village in chapter ten, and the whole thing goes down with huge drama between the two, including a crazy attack on the Nest that we're going to have to work with. Haven't figured out how to lessen the
    complete annihilation of the base, yet, but we'll work on that later!

    I've been playing with the idea of having a little girl appear to both Trika and Ski at sporadic times during the next few chapters. It will connect things for the reader, but remain mysterious to the two characters and for the rest of the squad. I would allude to the fact that it's Trika's sister. Trika will sort of get weirded out by it because she won't know for sure... the girl would disappear shortly after being spotted or something. For Ski, however, it would be rather unnerving. A specter of the past coming to haunt him. He, too, has done regretable things in his life. Up until the revelation that he was directly involved, the girl would continue to appear to him, but his vision would be a little freakier... she gets bloodier every time, or starts to look burnt after several
  3. Darth McClain Arena Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
    Karn Deloti, reporting for duty and patiently awaiting the next assignment.
  4. Trika_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 1999
    star 6
    All right. First thing to discuss that will have an effect over the entire project. I'm just running through your edits, actually, McClain. Good stuff, too. Here's my question to all editors: how do we determine which "funny" items to use and which to change to make the story more "official?"

    For example, we changed Mara's name to Danya. Same with Trika. Names are an issue that can easily be solved. But Bullwinkle! Glorious Bullwinkle! Taking the moose out of the cook would be just blasphemy, and I'm sure you all agree!

    But what about his story about getting his Winnebago blown up? I wrote that Ski didn't really understand the words coming from Bullwinkle's mouth. I figured that would cover it all right. Is this enough of an explanation for what we're trying to do with the story as a whole? What about when the Talons visit Montague and Capulet along in book nine or so? Should we change things more so that the story is cleaner, or should we slip in those weird references still, preserving the original text?

    Editors, what shall we do? Where can these lines be drawn? :eek:

    EDIT: Oh, yeah, and who could forget fighting with Spam and ljutefisk? :D
  5. DARTH_MU Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2005
    star 4
    Hello.

    Isn't this all beta stuff?
    I mean, you guys aren't recruiting or anything.
    shouldn't all this be over PM?
  6. Trika_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 1999
    star 6
    I've received permission from the admins and mods to start this thread. There will be eight authors just starting out, with more to come along the way. PMs, for this purpose, are just not practical.
  7. DARTH_MU Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2005
    star 4
  8. Darth McClain Arena Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
    Thanks, Trika. I tried my best.:cool:

    I like changing the names of Mara and Trika. There's no way that I would support a change for Bullwinkle's name. He just wouldn't be the same. He just needs his own Rocky-esque sidekick. ;) The Winnebago is a bit tricker. When I reread it, all I could think of was Spaceballs. I like that movie, but I'm not sure if that's what we're going for. Muis, everybody else, what do you think? I'm not opposed to keeping it, and it definitely does with with Bullwinkle's character. Jumping a little in to the future, I have no problem keeping the names Montague and Capulet. They could pass as GFFA planets, and be a nod to Shakespeare. I think we should look at things on a case-by-case basis, unless there is a trend that we don't like. And Spam an dljutefisk must stay. Just my two cents.
  9. stoneheart Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 1999
    star 1
    Yeah, we keep the ljutefisk. Some traditions must be maintained.

    Some of the Shakespeare stuff may have to be trimmed back a touch, but I think that'll be a case-by-case. Same for the henchmens' names; cosmic coincidence doesn't explain half the supporting cast of the X-Files on Coruscant. :)

    Still tweaking my segments; work is a bear, not to mention I've got more rust on my writing instincts than a sunken battleship.
  10. Idiots Array Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2000
    star 5
    Hey kids, long time no see.

    I'll have more to add later but I wanted to mention briefly, I definitely think Bullwinkle should stay as is, ljutefisk and all. It's just too good to lose. The Winnebago might be slightly jarring but I'm not sure how else to describe it - "space recreational vehicle"? That doesn't flow very well either.

    For the Shakespeare section, I'm with Stone. Let's tone down the really obvious stuff, maybe rename Capulet and Montague to something a little more obscure? But I think we can keep some of the existing names, like the droid H0R-AT10 or something like that.

    Same with Mulder's names. Krycek and Mulder and Darth Assistant Director Walter Skinner need to go but perhaps there are a couple of the obscure names that can be saved? "Sixth Extinction" perhaps.

    One thing you might consider for Trika and Ski is having them sort of share dreams. You can start with Trika dreaming of the very early part of the attack, when they were first alerted that an enemy force was approaching, alarms going off and such. Then you have Ski dream of his point of view, he's in the mission briefing, then climbing in his fighter and taking off. As time goes on, the dreams slowly become longer and more complete as the two characters come closer and closer together: Trika is running through the streets trying to find cover while Ski is leading bombing runs, then finally Trika sees a fighter coming out of the clouds directly at her while Ski sees a child in his sights, etc.

    Over time as they experience more and more of these dreams the tension builds. They're reliving painful memories, not sleeping well, snapping at each other for reasons they can't quite explain. Eventually, they're even dreaming the same thing, from different points of view.

    The resolution to the entire thing comes as they each dream the complete dream from the other person's point of view. Trika dreams about making a bombing run and Ski is running through the streets watching the city be destroyed.
  11. Lilith Demodae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 1999
    star 4
    I didn't join the party until much later than the incidents being discussed, so I'll keep my trap shut when it comes to things I have no real clue about.

    I'm excited about this project, so be sure to let me know what I can do to help out.


    Lilith, aka Nash
  12. Commander-DWH Shiny Costuming & Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    Hello! I'm not involved, but I met TalonSquadLeader once, at the first and I think only FanForce activity he ever made it to. So I'm sending my salutes and thumbs up. It's a truly worthy project. :)
  13. Idiots Array Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2000
    star 5
    Hey Lilith, good to see you again. I saw Cruxshadows in concert at Dragon*Con last year - they put on an awesome show.

    I think I speak for everyone when I say that even though you didn't participate in the first few chapters that doesn't mean we aren't interested in any feedback and suggestions you have.

    I'm sure Trika would have phrased that much more eloquently than I, or at least more verbosely, but there you have it. ;) By all means, feel free to jump in and do what you can.
  14. Trika_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 1999
    star 6
    Thanks for all of the responses, fellow Talons! And DWH, thanks for your input, too. I hope you'll stick around to see what comes of all this chaos!

    First, I desperately want to keep the Winnebago. When you read it, it has a sort of bang! to it.

    [face_laugh] I don't want to get rid of it unless we come up with something better. We can bypass the name "Bullwinkle" as just some obscure name from afar, and I think the Winnebago can pass, too. McClain and all the rest of you are right about the ljutefisk and Spam... Bullwinkle's just too good to change! Man, I wish we could get him in on this project! :cool:

    We'll cross the Shakespeare stuff when we get there. I agree on the toning down of the names, I think, but only if we can get really creative with them instead. We'll see if we can't hint at the Shakespeare references. I like the droid name, IA. :p

    So far I haven't named any of Mulder's ships. I think using lesser X-Files references would be all right, like Sixth Extinction.

    [face_laugh] They won't be there, I promise!

    Wow, IA... your idea for the dreams is really awesome. I'm going to go with McClain and insert a very small reference in the first book, but the idea you have for the tension will work really well starting in book three, when some more of the drama ends up coming to the surface. Great ideas... I really like that!

    Lilith, I think what IA is trying to say is that your expertise (yeah, I said it!) is desperately needed despite Nash not showing up until later. And as for more verbosely, he's right. It would have taken me three paragraphs to get that across! Woe to my elaborate, weird letters! :_|

    All: New copies of the book coming out soon. I'd like to get another set of edits before I sent it out, though. McClain has given me his, I'm going to write another scene or two, and with another few tweeks here or there, I think there will be enough to warrant a fresh copy. Good stuff, eh? :cool:

    Extra edit: McClain, could you explain this statement a little more? I want to expand it for greater clarification. "He was getting a good deal on the food supplies, and wasn?t sure that fifteen bodies missing one compatriot would mean leftovers." Thanks. :D
  15. Darth Muis Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 4
    Hey everybody! Great to be back! And great to see everyone again! I'm really excited about this project and looking forward to reading everyone's edits!

    My two cents on the references: Bullwinkle has to stay, ljutefisk and all. And the Winnebago... Well, I don't know. I think we should keep it in, despite the fact that it is a little weird. I think that if we edit it out in favour of having a more "official" story, we'll be sorry in the end. It's so much a part of the character... And it's not like it's a huge part of the plot, it's just a fun little detail.

    About the Shakespeare stuff... I think we should tone it down. It's too obvious and it will take attention away from the story. H0R-AT10 is brilliant though! [face_laugh] We'll just have to keep that in!

    And the X-Files references I think we should really tone down. Again, too obvious. But if we can all agree on using lesser references it's fine with me. But what are we gonna do about all those Sith lords running around in the upcoming chapters? Any thoughts on that?

    I got some time to work on my edit tomorrow (sunday) and monday. So I think it'll most likely be done monday night! Can't wait to see the new copy!

    Again, great to see everybody here. This brings back great memories. It feels like five years ago all over again!
  16. Idiots Array Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2000
    star 5
    Hey Muis, do you check your MySpace anymore? I have your band on my friends list now but I sent you an invite last week and haven't heard back.

    (Shhhh...don't tell Trika. She thinks MySpace is the devil.)
  17. Darth McClain Arena Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
    I think what I was trying to say is that Bullwinkle was getting a good rate on the Talon's food rations, and loosing a person would upset the system that he had so wonderfully setup. My original sentence wasn't very clear, but I wasn't sure how to say what I was thinking in one good sentence. Hope that helps.
  18. Darth Muis Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 11, 2000
    star 4
    I've been trying to log in on my MySpace for a couple of days now, but for some reason I can't. Maybe it really is the devil! I'll keep trying.
  19. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    Wow, this takes me back to when I was in highschool!

    This is a really, really cool idea and if I had any (and I mean any) time to spare I'd throw my full weight behind the editing thing but I'd still love to read it all again when it comes out :)

    Please keep Bullwinkle as he was in all of his comedic glory, it really was a highlight :D

    Kithera
  20. Idiots Array Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 3, 2000
    star 5
    Wow, the old names are really crawling out of the woodwork. Good to see you again, Kit. I hope you'll at least pop in from time to time and heckle us from the sidelines. ;)
  21. Trika_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 1999
    star 6
    Talons! I've taken the two edits I've received back and have implemented them into the master copy. McClain and Stone did a lot of work to make sure that Bullwinkle's and Stone's scenes were properly covered. I particularly am fond of the extra wittiness given to Bullwinkle at different parts of the story and the attention given to Stone's dialogue. Good job, you two!

    In addition, I've written in a small scene at the end of Ski's talk with Jane. You know... the one where he spills everything and she confesses that she's trained in E.I.F.T.E.? Well, he's kinda sleepy, we know that, so it's a perfect time to introduce specter number one. It works pretty well, I hope. Aside from that, McClain and Stone also caught a number of typos, grammar problems, and complete goofs on my part. [face_blush]

    I'm going to send out a fresh copy of book one tomorrow. Even if you haven't sent me any edits yet, think about sending what you've got so far. If I can add some more to the master copy, it would particularly help out McClain and Stone, I'm sure. Even so, everyone could get some more ideas from those few edits.

    Don't be afraid to write new and better scenes, too. Believe me, I trust all of your writing instincts far more than my own! If you all added a whole three or four pages, I'd add them in a heartbeat! As it is, both of the edits nearly added another page, which is just awesome.

    Oh, and MySpace is the devil. 'Nuff said. [face_plain]

    Thanks, y'all. Keep up the good work! Fresh copy of book one tomorrow! Send those edits! Yaaarrrrgh!
  22. Darth McClain Arena Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
    Trika, thanks for the hard work integrating multiple edits in to the master copy. I'm sure that took a good while. I'm looking forward to seeing how it comes together, the specter, and, in general, the new and improved copy of chapter one. Thanks for your hard work, Trika, once again.
  23. silverfighter Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2007
    star 4
    ((is really, REALLY, REALLY curious)) What is all this? A story that lasted two years? Was it... roleplaying or something? :confused:
  24. stoneheart Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 1999
    star 1
    Silver- The Talons were one of the first (and longest-lasting, as far as I know) squadfics on the boards. Personally, I've always felt the line between collaborative fiction and role-playing is a blurry one, but that's because I started as a gamer. :)

    Thanks to Trika, we're in the process of reprocessing the old work, patching up thin spots and outright errors into something far more polished. Stick around; it'll be glorious.

    Oh, and Trika? Thank you for redoing the chapter titles. I bear most of the blame for the original title for Chapter 17; all I can say in my defense was, it made sense if you'd been in that conversation. :)
  25. silverfighter Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2007
    star 4
    Squadfic? ((is really ignorant))
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