Talon Intelligence Squadron | Proving There's No Solution Like Mayhem Since 2000! Join Us Today!

Collaborative fiction, passaround story, round robin, whichever term you prefer. In this case the story is based on the format of the Star Wars X-Wing Rogue Squadron and Wraith Squadron series of novels by Mike Stackpole and Aaron Allston. Squadfic.

Squadfic was pretty popular around here from about the middle of 2000 through 2001 and even into part of 2002. I can't say definitively but the ill-fated theForce.Net Squadron may very well have been the first on these boards.

Take a look here to see some of the early Talon posts. On second thought just wait for Trika to post her revisions.

 

Yeah, I was reading that this morning (took ages to find through google) and having a laugh at all the stupidity (as well as a massive cringe at my own writing). Still it was a fun 1/2 hour even if my boyfriend kept running in and out in order to see what I was laughing about.

Which reminds me - did I kill my character off or did I just stop writing? I honestly can't remember.

Kithera

 

I've sent my edits to Trika just now! Can't wait to see everybody else's work!

 

Hmm, that's really rather interesting. After you finished editing and I wanted to read it, would I have to have read X-Wing and Wraith Squadron to understand it?

 

Kit', you ended up requesting that Mulder kill of your character. Don't remember if it was work, school, or whatnot. He wrote a detailed death scene about Kithera sacrificing herself to save some of the others. You died in a sewer, though. The death scene was cool, but the sewer wasn't too cool.

Speaking of which, I'm going to be writing that scene here in the next week or so. Ending of Book Three, to be exact. Lots of Talons go boom. Lots of drama. The whole story will indeed be glorious, as Stone has said, so stick around!

Stone, to be honest, I'm all sorts of horrible on titles. I can never properly sum up a whole book or even a chapter well. I ended up choosing "Not Always as They Seem" because it had multiple meanings. Muir's betrayal, the Talons being more than meets the eye (Autobots, roll out!), and some of the unique situations the Talons get into being more deceptive than normal. It had a few angles from which be interpreted. Also, I chose it based on the idea that I'd like for a series of books to have a similar theme. Book Two is called "Not Always Fair," which has sort of a beginning, middle, and end "unfairness" to be sorted out. Both books start with "Not." Teehee.

I'm thinking Book Three will be entitled "The Pursuit of All that is Good." The Talons start sorting out their lives, Jaren and Telia get married, and out of the goodness of everything that is justice and honor, a bunch of Talons go after Mulder when he attacks those two senators. They end up dying, but the whole chapter is all about trying to achieve that perfect life and, in a weird way, the perfect, honorable death. Book Four might be "The Pursuit of All that is Evil." Can't make it work right now, though. It's going to be the first normal mission for the Talons, and I've got to come up with some real evil to pursue or something if I'm going to make it work.

In any case, I think that'll be an issue for you guys to ultimately sort out. Again, I'm all sorts of messed up on this stuff. Book One never actually had a title on the JC, but since this is a rather big saga, all of the books should have a subtitle of "Talon Intelligence Squadron." So, my last question before sending out a fresh copy is...

What do you all think of the titles? What about the titles to the chapters? I found that using a quote eases the strain on my brain for a clever title. Can you all come up with someone more creative, more clever, more summarizing?

Fresh copy coming out this evening. Muis just sent me his edits, so I'll be implementing those today. Thanks a bunch, y'all.

 

Yes, yes, stick around! And no, no, you wouldn't have to have read X-Wing/Wraith stuff to get it. It stands alone, all by its lonesome. I'll be posting the first book soon, after a couple rounds of edits have gone by, so you'll definitely have to check it out!

 

Alright then... I'm guessing you will be posting it in the Beyond section, right? Or somewhere else?

 

I really like chapter one's title. As for the upcoming chapters, I think that they are good enough for now. Personally, I'd like to reread the chapters before coming up with the definitive name. I like the subchapter (I guess that's what you'd call them) titles as quotes from the section. You did a good job picking them out for Not Always as They Seem.


silverfighter, we've determined that Not Always as They Seem takes place a little bit after the Jedi Academy Trilogy and I, Jedi. So yes, it will be posted on the Beyond the Saga board.

 

Greetings again, Talons! I've been busy doin' the school thing again, and I'm taking a break between Theories of Computation and Software Engineering to post this, so I'll be sure to make it good!

Kudos goes out to Muis, who sent his edits to me today! He caught several goofs that had slipped past us and challenged a couple of ideas that we had just skipped over. The frigates that landed during the Talon wargames were particularly overlooked. Those vessels that landed were probably too small to be frigates. I seem to remember copying it from the original text, but I should have thought about that before writing it again. So, they are now unmarked merchant vessels. Thanks, Muis, for an excellent job!

What I'm about to do now is send a fresh copy of the first book, in all of its glory! I've decided, too, that I'm going to go ahead and send book two. Why? Well, I doubt that a lot of edits will come from a fresh copy, at least a fresh copy on its own. Now, if I send a second book and you all can read it and better understand what's getting ready to happen in the story, maybe some more ideas for the first book will come to you. If you see something in book two that sounds cool and you'd like to foreshadow it in book one, you can then have a major edit for it. Good idea? I hope so.

Now, don't go all willy-nilly on book two. Edit it at your leisure, sure. I think how this whole thing should go down is to edit book one in full, post it on the JC in full, take suggestions from new readers, edit based on suggestions, and then... uh... I don't know. Sending it off for drawings and such, I suppose. We'll tackle that later, but while reading and editing book two, don't forget book one. It's essential to get the foundation as perfect as possible. We'll be off and editing book two soon enough.

Speaking of drawings, I checked out the Fan Art forums for a while today and found a couple of artists with some amazing super cool skills. Now, one hasn't been seen in forever and another is busy with work. Bummer for us, I guess. I haven't bothered to PM or e-mail either one, but I want to know who all has suggestions for an artist to help complete the Talon books. I know Derisa did some art back in the day, but I don't know if she'd be interested again or how we could reach her.

So, with that, I leave you two questions and will be sending two books. Please post feedback as soon as you get a feel for what's been done to the first book. Some edits won't be so obvious, but some parts should make better sense now. And now, the questions:

Who knows someone or can maybe track down someone who can draw something a little more respectable than stick figures?
I'm still looking for yays and nays on the titles. Anybody have anything more clever for titles?

 

I like the titles so far, "Not Always As They Seem" and "Not Always Fair" work pretty well for me.

My only question is, are you going to use the original titles for the later chapters? I think the first chapter to have a true title was chapter 9 "The Changing Empire". When I named chapter 8 "Back in Action" it was meant to be more descriptive than to be an actual title. Chapter 7 was "The Battle for the Galaxy Continues", which would probably be a little over the top for this incarnation, however chapter 6 could remain some derivation of 'Regrouping': "A Time for Regrouping" or something like that and even chapter 5 "Is There Any Hope For Us Now?" isn't horrible, though it might not hurt to tweak it a bit. Chapter 4 was simply "Chapter 4 in the Exciting Series!" and chapter 3 was "The Saga Continues" so those two definitely need new titles.

However, for the later chapters, I'm still rather fond of the original titles. "The Changing Empire", "Downfall of a Leader", "A Time for Revenge" and of course my favorite "Where the Tempest Clouds are Driven" just to name a few. As long as the title still fits the action, my vote is to see those original titles carry over.

Next, I discussed this with Trika and she suggested I bring it up for further discussion. Originally, since Kit was the first person to sign up for TIS, she was selected as second in command until her untimely death. After which Jaren was eventually promoted in her place and the group was reorganized slightly into two teams.

In the current incarnation of book one, we have Jaren as the original second in command with Kit leading Ops II. My question is, do we want to tweak things slightly to preserve the original chain of command? (That I go beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here - sorry, I couldn't resist.) We'd still keep the roster as it is with Jaren leading Support and Kit leading Ops II, just bump her up to the second in command position.

Thoughts?

 

I, too, am fond of keeping the titles later on. It retains another aspect of the text that shouldn't be thrown out. As soon as we work up to threads with titles, we'll discuss whether to tweak them or not, but they will likely remain exactly the same.

I just PMed IA with a suggestion to keep Jaren as second-in-command, but tweak it so that he grows into the role. I told him I'd post it here as well. We could work with the text to make Jaren seem hesitant to lead, or at least question his own thoughts on leading. This is especially avaiable in the second book, when he leads the Talons while Kevin is in his coma. So whether we change it back to Kithera in second-in-command or keep Jaren there, in either case, it's going to be character development, FTW! It wouldn't be hard to tweak, either, so I'd like some elaboration on who thinks what and why.

Thoughts?

 

On titles: The titles Trika has been coming up with so far seem very fitting to me. And I also agree with IA that most titles from the later chapters shouldn't be changed. That is, if they still work after the edits. But we'll tackle that problem when it's relevant. Also, I quite like using quotes for the chapters in the 'books'. As far as I'm concerned it's either that or simple numbering. If we have to come up with titles for each chapter, I think it'll soon become really forced...

On the situation with Jaren: I can't say I really have an opinion on this. Both options seem very interesting to me, so which ever one we choose is fine by me! Like Trika said: in both cases there is plenty of character development.

 

With regards to Jaren, I think that Kit should get the job. She'll have to adjust to the job and all of its responsibilities. But she dies just a few chapters later (it takes place in chapter 4 I think), and the responsibility falls to Jaren, who might be initially against it. But both characters get some opportunities to grow this way.

I do like the idea of Jaren being forced into leadership after the Intelligence Gala, though. Hmm...both are interesting possibilities. Does Kit have many opportunities for growth/are we happy with changes in her character before she goes down into the sewers? I guess that's part of the real question for me. If the answer is yes, then Jaren should definitely be the second-in-command the whole time.

 

McClain's response got me thinking about it again. I just sat here, staring at my screen for about fifteen minutes. Originally, I had intended, I think, for the switch in second-in-command to clean things up a bit. Now that I think about it, I recall the title of "XO" flying around to a lot of characters, including one of McClain's characters and even Mara Jade at one point. I guess I originally didn't want to mess with it because switching it around made things appear less stable in the squadron. Not that we were ever known for stability, but you know...

On that note, again, I've been thinking. Suddenly I think it might be a good opportunity for some super character development. Switching Kit to XO wouldn't be too difficult, I don't think. A bump in rank, some extra scenes here or there doing some work for Captain Ski. But chapter two is when it would get tricky. For those who've read the second book already (believe me, if you haven't, don't you worry your pretty head), you have read where I've written Jaren into the leadership position after Kevin is taken out of the action. That would be painful to rewrite. I can't see it going very smoothly at all.

So, I thought on it for those fifteen minutes. And then it snapped. We would just have to take Kit out of action along with Kevin and Kaiba (all right, so all Talons with first names beginning with "K" are out of action... roger that!) so that Jaren could step up as second-in-command. Put in some thoughts of being hesitant to lead and you've got some good development just waiting to happen. Then, when Kit is killed, Jaren can rise to the challenge with the knowledge of having done it before.

Well, what do you all think? We've got varying answers. With the above explanations, we could work this pretty easily. It just depends on what everybody thinks.

I wrote a little bit for good ol' book three today. About two or three pages. Chapters Three through about Chapter Six of the original text is really garbled. Sometimes horrifyingly so. What I've done for these books is combined some chapters so that we can make a complete thought or two. Book Three is going to take parts of Chapters Three and Four. Book Four is going to take Chapters Five, parts of Six, and I think Seven. After that, things get back to smooth business. One chapter will equal one book.

That being said, Kit's and other Talon deaths are going to take place right at the tail end of Book Three. And I've decided that Kit's not going to rot in the sewer for days before the rest of us find her. The reason the Talons were in the sewer in the first place was to chase down "Spooky," who was running around with a brainwashed Mekial who called herself "Agent Scully." Good, wacky fun... just not good on the story we've got going here. Keep the brainwashing thing in mind... I'll get to that in a second. In any case, Mekial got "run through with a lightsaber" at the end of chapter three, and then Kit' dies in chapter four, and then several other Talons die in chapter six or seven. I've squashed all of them into chapter three. I really didn't want someone kicking the bucket every book, and one major blow to the Talons in Book Three means a lot to the future of the squadron and their quest for autonomy early on. It'll make more sense later, I promise.

All right, so that brainwashing thing. I noticed a trend in kidnappings, captures, tortures, maiming, killing, and all that other good stuff that we seemed to love back in the day. Sure, Mulder wanted to kill Trika (connection obvious there) and MJEH had "split-personality disorder" and liked having her character torture her other character. Good laughs all around. Mekial ends up being brainwashed in chapter three and four, but comes back, albeit with some issues. Telia ends up shooting Jaren and running off, seemingly becoming brainwashed in the process. Other Talons are threatened with it multiple times, and in chapter fifteen, Reyanna seems to know that Trika will be brainwashed eventually.

So, I began the trend.

 

Originally, I was thinking of something similar to what your proposed with Kit. I think that it's a good idea and works for both characters. Jaren gets some growth, and Kit does too. I like the idea. Good think Karn's not around yet, or it's likely he'd be out too.

I like the idea of combining the deaths and chapters. Hopefully it'll give it a gutsy ending, with new characters coming in the next book and hopefully development for the more established ones.

I like that direction for the mercs. Hopefully it doesn't turn to a villain of the month type thing with any potential highest bidders. I have faith that we can manage that.

So, if you're working on Book Three, I guess I should start planning Karn's entrance. When you have the time, could you give me a context to work with for designing his first appearance? That would be muchly appreciated.

 

I need someone to take the lead on this one!

//like a child
IA started it!
//end of like a child

Here's our second roster. It encompasses all the characters so far. IA added homeworlds to the mix, which is a really good addition for our characters. Some are missing, though.

Operations
Captain Kevin Ski (human male from Dantooine)
Danya Faithwood (human female from ?????)
Kendrick Quinn (human male)
Quis Heartilly (human female from Lamaredd)

Support
Flight Officer Jaren Kai (human male from Kuat)
Telia Aris (human female from Melida/Daan)
Rubi Jais (human female from Adumar)
Mekial Yrisar (human female from Stepula)

Intrusions
vacant
Janus ?Stone? Talson (human male from Chandrila)
Trika Adair (Chinaési female from Chinaé)
Milan Lirac (Kiffar male from Kiffu)

Operations II
Kithera Rinani (human female from ?????)
Kaiba Cloudrifter (human female from ?????)
Rinin Altura (Twi?lek male from Ryloth)
Ty Flynn (human male from Blonus)

Talon Support Group
Sergeant Floreverus Bullwinkle (human male from ?????)

Black Fire Mercenary Group
Lady Sondara Carre (human female from ?????)
Lieutenant Jane Muir (human female from ?????)

First, Kaiba had been mentioned as being from SS Dark Mystic. Someone remind me what the kriff that was. I can't remember. If it's considered an all right assessment for her history, we'll keep it. But right now, I can't remember a dern thing about it, so I marked it off to remind me that I needed to get that together.

Second, Kendrick doesn't know where he's from. Hence the short explanation of his origins in the roster.

Third, you may notice I've put Telia from Melida/Daan, Kevin from Dantooine, etc. I came up with some brief histories for them in my journeys through the Talons, and those pasts will be explained gradually throughout the story.

Fourth, McClain, if you would, add the official species/homeworld stuff for Ensign Delph. He'll be with the esteemed Sergeant Bullwinkle.

Fifth, Bullwinkle's homeworld should be classic. Maybe there's something in the old theforce.net squadron thread that could be used. If not, maybe something tricky that looks like something, but when said, sounds like something else. I don't know. Think on this one, though.

Sixth, I'm pretty sure that Sondara Carre's homeworld is somewhere on my hard drive. Don't mess with that one unless you know it for sure.

Seventh, Danya's should be some sort of Imperial world with lots of money. Money-crazed snotballs, FTW!

Eighth... haha, you thought I had something else, eh? Just kidding.

Whoever does this for me gets a no-prize and my eternal thanks.

Thank you in advance!

 

Ensign Qui-Sein Delph, Epicanthix male from Panatha

As for the Sarge...hmmm, need to think about that one. If we're going with something from theforce.net Squadron, it seems like Duct Tape, "Kong Fu Fighting", and a giant shoe should have something to do with it.

As for Danya...maybe Quanton, Voktunma, Tiisheraan? We could pick one from Wookieepedia's list of Imperial aligned planets. Tiisheraan is from the Core, so that might be best, but its just a suggestion

 

This is from the old roster thread on The Nest: "Kaiba was born on the stolen Imperial spaceship the Dark Mystic while traveling to a deserted outer rim planet called Agost."

That's where I got Kaiba's "homeworld" from.

 

Should we keep it? I don't recall Nomi Jade ever delving into her past that much, but she's eventually going to get fleshed out. How shall we proceed?

 

I quite like the idea of Kaiba being born aboard a spaceship, but I'm not sure it should be a stolen Imperial ship. Seems a little far fetched to me. So, my suggestion is she's born aboard some freighter/commercial liner en-route in Hyperspace. Why in Hyperspace? Because it seems to me, that if you're born near a planet in real space, I guess people just say "Oh, she was born near Corellia". Catch my drift? Anybody like the idea?

As far as planets go: (I'm really enjoying this... )

I figured Kithera would come from some kind of tough world... So my idea is that she's from Circarpous V a.k.a. Mimbam. It's a tough mining world. I guess I just like references to 'Splinter of the Mind's Eye'...

I like DMC's idea for Danya! But maybe we should try to find something a little more high profile... Like for instance Commenor? Just my two cents...

Jane is probably from Balmorra, an industrial planet. Seems fiting. And Sondara Carre, I don't know. Maybe she's simply from Coruscant?

And about Bullwinkle, I'm sure you guys can come up with something that's hilarious only to us!

I was thinking about something else too. You know how there are vacant spots in the roster from time to time, simply because there weren't enough writers? Maybe we could fill them with new characters? At least when it's possible in the story for new members to join. Like when the chapter starts at the Nest, or aboard the Idiot's Array during off time. I'm thinking the NRI wouldn't really leave those spots open. And maybe it would give us the opportunity to create some non-Humans. How do you guys feel about that?

 

Being born on a stolen Imperial ship does seem to be a little far fetched, especially because it would be years before the Battle of Yavin IV. The Alliance had some forces, but I don't know about capturing an Imperial ship. I guess it could possibly happen, but I think freighter/commercial liner makes more sense. I catch your drift, Muis. I think, though, Kaiba would be attached to some planet in people's minds though. Maybe their last port of call, or the final destination, or where the freighter/liner is based. Although being born in Hyperspace would be pretty cool.

Oh, Splinter of the Mind's Eye. Mimban/Circarpous V is definitely a tough place to grow up. I think Commenor makes more sense for Danya. I was surprised that it wasn't on Wookieepedia's list. It would be an Imperial stronghold when Danya would be born. I replace my suggestion with Commenor.

Balmorra? That's funny...I'm planning on having Karn doing mop up stuff on Balmorra after the whole Reborn Emperor thing, right before he joins the Talons. Sondara Carre could be from Coruscant.

 

I would say yes except for the fact that those spots will definitely be filled in the upcoming chapters. Therefore, there would have to be a lot of deaths or reassignments going on. Book Four's roster looks something like this:

Major Kevin Ski
F.O. Danya Faithwood
F.O. Kendrick Quinn
F.O. Quis Heartilly

Lieutenant Jaren Kai
F.O. Telia Aris
vacant
vacant

vacant
F.O. Janus ?Stone? Talson
F.O. Trika Adair
vacant

Lieutenant Karn Deloti
F.O. Kaiba Cloudrifter
vacant
F.O. Ty Flynn

F.O. Owen Flynn
F.O. Reyanna Ortan
Marhl Kahn
vacant

Now, with six openings, it would almost work to throw some new characters in there, but CiCi, Homer, and Mekial will be joining, or rejoining the squad in Book Five. That leaves three, but with Nash, Melarnn Tecc, and Insei coming aboard immediately afterwards, we're not going to have room. I'm even writing out the fact that Kevin's brother Ric was ever a part of the squadron. I was just going to have him be a random support member, visiting his brother while out and about on his own missions and such. The way that we're rewiring things to be a crispier story, there's not going to be a lot of room often.

Here's the kicker though, Muis, and you'll be pleased by this! I don't recall Insei or Melarnn Tecc posting a whole bunch. What do the rest of the editors think about making them aliens? We can't mess with CiCi and Homer, obviously, but the others who didn't post I suppose sort of forfeit the opportunity to say much for their characters.

Hmmm... Bullwinkle's planet. I looked back at theforce.net squadron for some ideas. Shoes, splotches of goo, running around naked drinking margaritas, and flying through space like a duck. Don't know how we're going to get a planet out of that, but something's gotta work!

I've reworked the roster with homeworlds. I'll post it or resend it after we think of a
1.) homeworld for Bullwinkle (Nikeshoe?, Tenshoe?, Splotchistovia?, Streakidonia?, Margaritaville?)
2.) homeworld for Devoe Rosche, and
3.) homeworld for "Mulder".

 

Devoe Rosche's homeworld is a no-brainer: Corellia! The man has Corellian written all over him. And besides, every good story needs a Corellian.

About the vacant spots: You're right Trika, there would be way to many character deaths, it simply wouldn't work. But turning Insei and Melarn Tecc into aliens will satisfy my needs...

Oh, and about Bullwinkle's homeworld; I like Streakidonia. Or maybe we could just spell something really obvious backwards? Like Atiragram...

 

See, that's what I pay you guys the big bucks for! I haven't read a dern Star Wars book in years, and I sure as heck haven't been as obsessed as I used to be with the movies and all. I'm surprised I even know what we're talking about.

I knew we'd get to it sometime! More aliens for Muis!

Is everyone cool with that before we tentatively plan on making Insei and Melarn Tecc aliens? I can't remember either really contributing a whole bunch to the story, but if I'm wrong, I'm wrong! Let me know so we can switch out a name or make changes. It's a long way away, but I think in terms of two books ahead of schedule. I'll be musing on notes to Books Five and Six very strongly in the upcoming weeks.

Bullwinkle's Homeworld
Streakidonia
Atiragram (Margarita backawards)
Nikeshoe
Tenshoe
Splotchistovia
Rekaerts (Streaker backwards)

Anybody else? Any ideas? Vote now or forever hold your peace! In either case, when we get to describing Bullwinkle's homeworld, it should be a land filled with ljutefisk and Spam, where the deer and the jackalopes play, and where Winnebagos and Size 10 Shoes criss-cross the sky above streaking, drunk karaoke signers who really can't sing.

 

Rosche is definitely a Corellian. No doubts about it.

Insei and Merlarn Tecc being aliens is A-OK with me. Anybody have any specific species that they think those two should be? I have a couple of suggested species: Togruta (Shaak Ti from AOTC and ROTS), Weequay (the skiff guards from ROTJ, and Sora Bulq from the comics), or something like that. Just a couple suggestions thanks to Wookieepedia.

As for Bullwinkle...I like Atiragram and Steakidonia, even though the later sounds more like an Eastern European country.