Before Taryn's Guilt - 2007 diary challenge humor ( 12/ 14 / 7 up ) - She's back!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Lea-El, Jan 1, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Lea-El Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Taryn's Guilt

    Author: Lea-El

    Disclaimer:
    Thank you George for allowing us to play in your sandbox.

    Description:
    This was supposed to be a study on how an enlightened society treats the infirmed and how we sometimes find ourselves to be lacking. I meant no disrespect to anyone with infirmities we all have them some are just more visible than others.

    It turned out to be a diary of a drastically injured Jedi who developing multiple personality disorder as a way of dealing with her situation.


    AN: Diary response challenge.


    Taryn's Guilt

    1/1/7

    I have a new assignment, proof-reading mission reports. If this first batch is the standard I think most of the knights slept through spelling class but I'm just glad to be useful. It's been six years since my last mission so I decided to start a diary; this is the first day of the first month of year seven.

    I've spent most of that time watching the cleaning lady mopping floors. It seems every time I look up from my work she's there dragging her deadened foot and making that annoying noise. Like everyone else my worst fear has always been ending up like her, it scares me to think how close I came. I guess that?s why she frightens me. I watch others react to her, even enlightened masters hurry past her as if she will infect them with her disability. I can't blame them, to my shame I avoid her too.

    Today an old friend came by to see her. He rarely comes back to Coruscant anymore; the pain of seeing her like this was visible in his eyes. He took the mop away from her and forced her to rest on a nearby bench as he talked nervously about anything and everything just to fill the silence. There was no sign of recognition on her face as he searched it for just one glimmer of remembrance. There were tears in his eyes as he left but she just picked up her mop and went back to work. Once I heard someone say they had been close, too close for the Orders comfort. I couldn't stand to watch any more so I went back to my work.

    ~`~`~

  2. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    What a lovely beginning.

    I can't help but feel such sadness for the cleaning lady. No matter what her infirmity, to see her being treated so poorly is such a tragedy. Especially by Jedi.

    However, it's quite realistic.

    Very nice beginning. I look forward to more

    =D= =D==D= =D=
  3. slow_dawn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 18, 2006
    star 2
    It's sad to see the cleaning lady treated that way. Hmm, too close for the Order's comfort...sounds interesting.
  4. correllian_ale Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 20, 2005
    star 4
    Taryn's observation of the cleaning lady was really sad, it's amazing how much people are putting into just a few more paragraphs.

    Well done Lea-El!
  5. PadwanKayla Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2005
    star 4
    Good start and I like your sympathetic OC.
  6. Commander-DWH Shiny Costuming & Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    This definitely looks like it has some potential. Great start, and I look forward to seeing where this goes. :)
  7. Lea-El Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2005
    star 4


    An: Thank you for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it more than you know.




    1/2/7

    Today the weather was bad I couldn't stand to be tied to a desk so I bundled up the data-pads and slipped off to the south lobby, one of the chairs there was designed just for me, it soothes all my pains. I took a few minutes to watch Master Lange and his padawan heading out for a day of recreation after their long mission, my first proof reading assignment was their mission report.

    I was lost in a narrative about the disaster on Rustan and Master Lange's being forced to rescue his padawan from a crowd of irate refugees when I heard a whack. The cleaning lady was there her movements more labored than usual and an errant initiate had been following her down the hall, imitating her gate and making that noise. I looked up to see Master Yoda whacking him a second time with his gimmer stick. "Want to walk like Master Zenella, do you? Give you a reason to, I will."

    That little troll always was my hero. He marched that little Sith spawn down the hall to his next class whacking him every few steps. She looked up at the movement but there was no change of expression on her face; she rubbed her back for a minute then went back to mopping.

    Later Yoda came back and asked me how my new assignment was going and if I would keep an eye out for her. I suspect he knows I have a problem with being around her and wants me to work on it. When I was little I always wanted him to be my master, later I came to realize what a daunting padawanship that would have been although I would be a better knight for it.
  8. Lea-El Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2005
    star 4


    1/3/7

    The weather broke today and I decided to take my work to the eastern corridor to absorb the sun. She was there sunning like a turtle on a log. She looked so happy I couldn't concentrate on my work for watching her. They say her hair was once below her waist and bright red but now it's almost white and short, too short for a woman but she is in no condition to care for it herself so the decision was made to keep it short.

    I heard someone fussed on them for making her work so hard in her condition but they were told she wasn't assigned to mop she just took over the job one day and has been doing it every since. A young initiate is assigned to bring her fresh buckets of mop water because cleaning and filling the bucket is beyond her thinking abilities.

    She wasn't expected to live her injuries were that bad. The noise she makes is from her damaged lungs; her brain was deprived of oxygen for to long so there is very little brain activity. I tried to find out what happened to her but no one wants to talk about it so I just watch her.
  9. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Yay Yoda is my hero!!

    [face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing]

    Of course, he always was :p

    His "punishment" for the little Sith spawn was just perfect and perhaps will teach him/her a little sensitivity.

    I'm glad to see he's assigned Taryn to look after the cleaning lady. Perhaps she'll learn to be more comfortable around her. It's so sad to see this woman unable to make the simplist of decisions.

    Great updates

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  10. Star_Angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 4
    This was so beautiful Lea-El, I adored it and loved it.

    =D= =D= =D=
  11. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Very nice job, Lea! Interested to see where this goes!
  12. Commander-DWH Shiny Costuming & Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    I adore Yoda. Good for him, showing that little twerp what's what.

    it'll be interesting to see how the perspective changes as he gets to know the cleaning lady better. :)
  13. Lea-El Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2005
    star 4
    AN: I am so not good at doing authors responses but it is not a lack of appreciation. My muse is fueled by reviews.


    1/4/7

    Today was a good day my new robes came in a benefit of my new assignment, a larger clothing allotment. I must say the green material the seamstress suggested is brighter than it was on the bolt. Bantn would be calling me fine Corellian chocolate in it. I can still hear him, "You eat so much chocolate your hair and eyes turned into chocolate." I hated that so when we were twelve now I miss it. I must ask when he is due back from assignment.

    Being Corellian was such a drag growing up. How many times did I hear, "You can't even float a piece of fruit"? Who would have thought that would be what saved me that seldom used little trait of absorbing a blast was the difference between Zenella and me. I get to read mission report and she mindlessly mops floors. Why do I feel so guilty? Different people - different missions - different outcomes, yet here I am mourning my success and her? failure is not the right word any more than success is correct.

    I have new appreciation for the old saying, "If you fall off a bantha you must get right back on." I think my being on the disabled list and unable to go back out on missions has confined me in the same category as her. Only I get to wear silky robes and have a life. My days always come back to this.

    Oh! Bantn I need to hear your voice; I need you to make me laugh. Undercover missions are so annoying.

  14. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    So Taryn gets bright green robes? I wonder if a certain diminutive Master somehow had anything to do with that? :p

    It's nice to see her beginning to see Zenella in a different light, though sad that she feels guilt for the outcomes in their missions.

    Very nice update

    =D==D==D==D=
  15. Lea-El Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2005
    star 4


    1/5/7

    Looking back over the last few entries I've come to the conclusion this is really the diary of two women. This means I'm going to have to learn more about her and deal with my feelings. I've never been good at dealing with feeling. Yes, I can hear Yoda saying, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads hate, hate leads to suffering." Personally I think we've both suffered enough.

    I looked for her today but she was nowhere to be found. So I concentrated on my work. I can't talk about the mission reports this batch is secret, security can be so exasperating at times. Who would be reading my diary?

    I can tell you the gossip I heard in the hallways though. Master Hask is leaving soon on a mission to the outer rim. A border dispute I hear, the Hutts are flexing their muscles and since they are all muscle that is a problem.

  16. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Uh oh. Trouble ahead I sense.

    How nice for Taryn to make her diary the diary of two women.

    I look forward to more

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  17. slow_dawn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 18, 2006
    star 2
    Hmm, the diary of two characters...quite interesting. It's interesting to see the way her attitude begins to change towards the cleaning lady.



  18. BrentusofGath Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2005
    star 4
    I looked up to see Master Yoda whacking him a second time with his gimmer stick. "Want to walk like Master Zenella, do you? Give you a reason to, I will."

    [face_laugh] I love it when someone stands up for someone who can't stand up for themselves. Although, Yoda's so short, it looks like he's sitting down when he is standing up. :p


    The noise she makes is from her damaged lungs; her brain was deprived of oxygen for to long so there is very little brain activity.

    That's so sad. :( I wish Taryn had more feeling for the poor lady. It seems like she's still projecting herself on the woman and recoiling, rather than having some compassion.

    Very good story, Lea-el! I like the feeling you're putting into this. :)
  19. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    This is very good!! I can't wait to learn more about Master Zenella :)
  20. Lea-El Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2005
    star 4


    1/6/7

    There is a major virus going around in the creche and all available hands are asked to help out so I volunteered. Guess who was there mopping away? Did I mention it was a stomach virus? Need I say more?

    I almost came unglued when a youngling named Bria held her arms up for Zenella to take her. She has no business holding the little ones. She could drop them and hurt them but the Master of the Creche just led her over to a rocking chair and helped the little one into her arms and instructed her to sit there and not get up. The little girl just snuggled into Zenella's embrace and sang to her. Master, knight or padawan wasn't a dry eye in the creche.

    I have to go they need more juice.
  21. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Awww....how very sweet.

    You see Taryn, Zenella can be of use for other things than to mop the floor.

    There's nothing a sick youngling wants more than to be held and rock while they are sick.

    Lovely update

    =D==D==D= =D=
  22. Lea-El Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2005
    star 4


    1/7/7

    The worst of the crisis is over so slowly people are drifting back to their regular work but she is still there. I think she rocked Bria all night without a break. It's so sweet to see how gentle she is with the youngling. Zenella just stroked her hair and rocked while Bria sang herself to sleep. I wonder what the child sees in her that others don't?

    I had a stuffed bantha when I was small, as long as Bantie was there I was always safe. At least Zenella is alive I guess it is just important to be held, warm and safe when you're so young.

    I wonder what happened to Bantie. Oh yeah! Bantn kidnapped her and held her for ransom and I refused to pay. That was during my stubborn streak, I refused to allow him to get the best of me.

    I keep thinking what if it was me in that shape. I'm not sure if I could go on but even that decision is beyond her.

    I tried to approach her to talk but I froze where I stood. I can't imagine what it would be like to be trapped in such a broken body. Is she lonely and scared? I just dropped my head and tried to concentrate on my work. I feel so guilty for avoiding her. I am the worst offender of them all.

    I think I'll go talk to Yoda about this... tomorrow.
  23. MsLanna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2005
    star 6
    Very good idea and well done.
    I like the way things slowly develope and I can't wait to know what happened to Zenella and what her relation to Bria is.:D
  24. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    So sweet!!! I love how she just held the little girl, and Bria sang to her [face_love]
  25. Lea-El Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2005
    star 4
    An: New readers Yay! Thank you for reading and reviewing.


    1/8/7

    Today I saw her mopping the corridor outside the dining hall. Her robe was on inside out and no one bothered to tell her or help her. I'm ashamed to say not even me. I wanted to but she scares me so? I just couldn't.

    I wonder, am I alone in my feelings of fear of being in her condition? Somehow I suspect I'm not!

    What if it had been me? I shudder to think how close I came on that last mission.

    I tried to see Yoda about my feelings but he is away on a mission. Since when have they sent Yoda out on missions? I thought he was on training younglings duty. I could go to the healer but that would look good on my report, the person responsible for proof reading secret mission reports going in for a psychiatric exam.

    When I got out I swore the next time I entered that ward would be to be pronounced dead. I appreciate everything they did for me but I can't...I just can't go back there.

    I guess I can hold out till Yoda gets back.

    Oh! The strangest thing happened last night, I talked about my stuffed bantha from my childhood in my diary yesterday and when I got back to my room she was on my pillow just as if she never left.

    I guess Bantn could have sent someone to retrieve her for me. He always knew me better than I knew myself, even though he said he was clueless when it came to me.

    I slept better than I have in years. I wonder what the masters would think if I carried her around with me like a scared three year old. Poor Bantie having to stay here alone all day.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.