JCC Tell Me a Story...

i'm feeling a bit lazy/uninspired these days. perhaps the next image you post in this thread will fire up the creative juices.

i swear someone posted that picture on this board before, because i've seen it.

 

The goat was actually a Decepticon and it then turned into an army of Golden Robocops.

 

Goat wished he would've remembered to bring his bagpipes. In fact, he wonders why he even had his uncle McTeagle made into a set. Uncle McTeagle's dream was to keep on bleating even after death.

 

I do my best.

You should post a series of pictures and make us write you a picture book incorporating all of them!

 

They're filthy and in some piss stinking basement....it's how those people that live in the storm drains under Las Vegas entertain themselves I guess.

 

The day will be remembered by auction house professionals as the second most successful sale ever at Sotheby’s. B.G. Gruff, III, placed the day's highest bid, taking Picasso's “Femme Assise Près d’une Fenêtre,” for a record $44.7 million.

 

The goat was kidnapped by the owner of that basement club when it was just a child. The owner forced it to endlessly perform gymnastics routines and perform unnatural acts with a chicken in front of a screaming crowd. Now, as a trained and powerful ninja, the goat bides its time, waiting for the perfect moment to exact delicious revenge.

 

Bartholomew knew that the only way to send the undead horde currently taking up space in his basement back to hell was to challenge its evil goat leader Neternu in the only way he knew how: its natural love of rap battles. This was humanity's only hope.

 

Bob the goat was crying tears of sadness when the mean yelling man with the microphone started to sing and revealed to have the voice of a thousand angels. Everyone else in the room froze in shock and awe, but alas, for the roof caved in leaving Bob the goat as the only survivor. Bob the goat had the last laugh.

 

This one time, somebody made a weird picture with photoshop.

The end.

 

In The Prophecy VI, Gabriel wages a new war in heaven, only this time it's a homophobic war against all the LGBT angels.

 

The G-rated cut of Cannibal Holocaust was really lacking something.

 

Kazakhstan's attempt to get male pole stacking counted as an Olympic sport.

 

edit: goat picture: Looks like some sort of goat demon cult...

2. totem picture: The new version of planking?

 

And henceforth, the inhabitants of Bogasamudram would never understand why their local version of the totem pole never caught on.

 

When pulled over by local traffic police, area resident Bob Wilkins snapped: "to get to the other side, moron. Now stop asking stupid questions."

 

Posting my goat story. Better late than never:


"This is worthless", thought Commander Kalem. The innervoice of the Mother Computer was as swift and merciless as always.
"Focus on the mission, Kalem. Recon before the launch of the Nuclear Devices. Find if there's anything worth saving and then return to the Fleet. Our client is waiting for us to give them the green light."
Kalem muttered to himself: Mother Computer thought everything was that simple, and it wasn't. He had landed in the third planet three days before and adopted the shape of the first native he saw. "Maybe that wasn't the smartest idea", he thought: he was starting to think that Intelligence had been wrong and this white quadruped wasn't the main species of this world. For one think, they didn't seem to have any culture other than chewing vegetables and headbutting each other, although he had seen Europans that were just as juvenile.
"Ah, whatever. This is a waste of time".

Kalem trotted towards his place of residence, intent on sending the "all clear" message and leaving the unconfortably humid world. Then he would be beamed up, Mother Computer would send the nukes, and then the automatons would begin strip-mining the world.
"What in Rigel is...", thought Kalem, although he actually said something like "baaaa". Several weird looking bipeds had gathered inside his place of residence. He had seen them before near the fields of grass, always looking at them with hungry eyes. He had thought them predators, but now he knew what they were.
"Ah, perfect. Pests. How do they del with pests in this world? Should I blow my cover and disintegrate them? Ah wel,l, in two hours this is going to be nothing but radioactive fallout..."
To Kalem's surprise, one of the bipeds started yelling. Kalem was startled at first, then hypnotized, his eyes transfixed on the strange figure that flailed its arms around and kept emitting rythmic sounds.
"Oh..."
Mother Computer's voice reverberated inside his head again.
"Everything okay, Commander?"
Kalem swallowed hard.
"This native animal is..."

Then he got it.

"Yes, Commander?", insisted Mother Computer.
"It's starting some kind of mating ritual. Beam me out of here now and send the ****ing nukes."

 

i'll caption it instead: today, van achieved his lifelong goal of "picking up a lot of chicks".

 

"Our top story tonight, a local man dies after his scooter stalls out in the intersection and... really? That's our top story tonight?"

"Afraid so, Bob. Apparently Mitch Mitchelson of the local General Motors branch was test-driving an experimental chicken-powered scooter when his vehicle abruptly came to a stop in the middle of the 59th and Broadway intersection, at which point he was brutally run over by a Ford Fiesta. The driver, in a police interview, stated that he, too, had hoped to perish in the accident, as seeing that chicken-powered scooter had made him realize that even a chicken-powered scooter was cooler than a Ford Fiesta."

"Truly a shocking glimpse into the frailty of our own lives, Diane. One wonders how man can keep on living in such a cold, apathetic world."

"Alcohol, Bob, alcohol."

*They both laugh*

 

Someone sent this to ASG is s/he'll stop bugging A_J.

 

Chicken Delivery Service