Saga Temperate (Vader - angst) - One Shot

Author: VA-Parky
Title: Temperate
Characters: Vader/Anakin, Padmé Amidala
Genre: Angst
Summary: Certain the reports of Padmé?s death are another Jedi lie, Vader visits her tomb. One-shot.
Author?s Note: This little viggie has been driving me crazy. I?ve been editing it for weeks, and I think I finally got it right. Please read and review if you have a moment. I will be eternally grateful.

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I am still burning.

Even now, my nerves scream in agony. It has been two weeks since I was encased in this life-sustaining black suit - yet I haven?t dared to sleep, although it would mean an escape from the pain. No, I haven?t done so, because every time I close my eyes, I am afraid I might question what I have become.

It is terrifying.

It is agonizing.

It is a sacrifice I will embrace if it means finding her on the planet below, alive and well.

I return my attention to the sights before me as they grow larger in the view port. Naboo is still the most breathtaking gem in the Galaxy ? the serenity of its lush forests and placid water visible even from here. The beautiful scene reminds me of my angel and now, more than ever, I am certain she is there.

Waiting for me.

My desire to get to her overwhelms me and I engage the landing sequence with eager fingers. It won?t be long now.

In spite of my sleeplessness, I have to admit, the journey has been good for me. Through my meditations, I have discovered the meaning behind my defeat on Mustafar? the reasons for my suffering, for the burns that now blanket nearly every inch of my body.

It had been a rite of passage, the will of the Force.

The lava wrapped me in its arms to return me to my true self? burning away the deceitful life I lived as a Jedi. I had emerged cleansed, a servant finally worthy of its power. The pain had been an unfortunate necessity, but with it came a purpose: a deepened connection to the dark side.

I always believed I was a child of fire. Now I simply bear the physical proof.

It is even present in the blade I wield. Blood-red, it reminds me of the colors of the setting suns on Tatooine. While I had always thought the scene was one of beauty, there was still an air of finality to it. After all, the fiery splendor signaled the death of another day.

Quite an appropriate metaphor for me now, I believe.

There can be no denial. I am Darth Vader, Sith Lord. I find pride in my new parentage and accept it willingly.

But as I guide my ship to the meadows below, there is a sudden whisper in the back of my mind. Soon, it unfurls into a loud roar and I nearly choke on my respirator as I realize for what I am wishing?

[i]The man I once was.[/i]

One that was aware of the fire, but kept it at bay. The man who was a devoted husband, a soon-to-be father, a loyal brother and friend. The man who was whole in body and spirit and blissfully in love.

[i]A man whose wife still lived.[/i]

My fists clench and I shake my head, refusing to acknowledge such traitorous thoughts. [i]I have given much to the Force,[/i] I remind myself. [i]It will not fail me.[/i]

[hr]
The small shudder that indicates a successful landing brings a halt to my ruminations, much to my relief. Gathering my cloak and utility belt, I exit the small shuttle and make my way through the silent capital. I am grateful for the solitude - I do not want to spill blood on my wife's home planet. I will not dishonor her in such a manner.

It is all I can offer, in this moment.

My skin starts to scream from the hurried movements, but I push on relentlessly. The pain will be a constant companion and I know I must learn to embrace it, as I would an old? friend. It serves to remind me of who I am now, what I have gone through to gain her safety. I will not question it.

It would not do to show a lack of faith. Not when I am so close.

I find my way to a pair of ornate doors, imprinted regally with the seal of Amidala. I lift a hand and send them crashing open, but take care to cushion them so they will not crac

 

That was so wonderful!!
I could feel Vader's heartbreak and despair as if it were my own.

Again: This was wonderful

 

Poor Vader!

 

Excellent story! Wonderfully written; you conveyed Vader's feelings superbly. I like how it ends with him never being warm again.

Very nice story!

 

powerful... In canon we never see if Vader cares for Padme, or hear her name, anything. It's nice to see that if something of Ani sorvived, was his love for his angel

 

How ironic that a man who considered fire to be his mark will never be warm again.

You did an amazing job capturing Vader's hope and anguish.

Bravo!!

 

Wow...absolutely beautiful, haunting, incredible, wow...

The pain had been an unfortunate necessity, but with it came a purpose: a deepened connection to the dark side.

This makes you feel so sorry for Anakin... to know that he has tried to convince himself that everything that happened was for the greater good, but really he lost everything.

It is simply amazing!

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it!

Ani-maniac

 

Eirate_rules - Thank you! That is incredibly flattering!

Healer Leona - I'm thrilled that you liked it.

dtdang2 - I know! I feel so bad for him!

Jedi_of_Imladris - I'm glad you liked the ending. It took me awhile to tie it up, so I'm happy to hear you say that!

michaellover - I agree. It's aggravating that Padme is never mentioned or acknowledged. I guess I'm seeking to remedy that, in my own way!

KELIA - That's exactly what I was trying to convey so your comments made my day! You're the best!!!

Ani-maniac - What a sweet review! Thank you! That's an especially nice compliment coming from a wonderful writer like you!

Thanks, everyone! As always, your support has been amazing!

 

Vadey sighs happily! I love Vader angst! And this was one of the best I've read. Thank you! I SO needed that today. And yes, angst makes me happy!

 

VaderLVR64 - Hee! Yes, Vader angst is addictive! I am a glutton for punishment, I suppose because I love it as well! Thank you for your kind comments - they mean so much!

 

Very good portayal of a man who has lost what he cares about the most: his family.

poor poor Anakin!

Loved it.

 

Thank you for sharing your talents.

An excellent story.

 

DaenaBenjen42 - Thank you! I felt so bad for Anakin at the end of ROTS. I just had such a problem with the idea that love was at the root of his evil. And then it's never mentioned again! Argghhh! Anyway, I'm so glad you stopped in.

LadyZaraMarta - Aw, thanks! I'm just grateful for your kind words! Everyone here has been so sweet and supportive to a newbie like me!

 

Stupid Vader!!!! Always making me cry Awesome job

 

MasterEnder - I know! There is so much angst-potential when it comes to Vader. He always makes my heart ache and yet, here I am - adding even more to his already tragic story! Thanks for the kind words - I'm very grateful!

Thanks again to all!

 

Ani-maniac suggested that I read this a while ago, and she was right! Wow!

It had been a rite of passage, the will of the Force.

The lava wrapped me in its arms to return me to my true self? burning away the deceitful life I lived as a Jedi. I had emerged cleansed, a servant finally worthy of its power. The pain had been an unfortunate necessity, but with it came a purpose: a deepened connection to the dark side.

I always believed I was a child of fire. Now I simply bear the physical proof.

That just seems to be the essence of Vader!

But...I nearly choke on my respirator as I realize for what I am wishing?

The man I once was.

One that was aware of the fire, but kept it at bay. The man who was a devoted husband, a soon-to-be father, a loyal brother and friend. The man who was whole in body and spirit and blissfully in love.

A man whose wife still lived.

A man who now must deny his regrets and serve the emperor willingly...

You have captured the struggle and the pain of Vader perfectly!

Incredible work!

Thanks for sharing this with all of us!

Star

 

That was so sad! *sigh* If only Vader hadn't turned the the Darkside. *sniffle* Again, beautiful work! Yours always is!