JCC TFA line RPG

I'm a stormtrooper, about 50 people back. It's too cold to not have a jacket, but I have to preserve the integrity of my costume, so I'm not wearing one. I'll probably have hypothermia in the morning.

 

I've been waiting in line for weeks because I'm either unemployed or lucky enough to have a job that allows me to do this sort of thing. Waiting in line for more than a couple hours has been completely unnecessary since at least the 1990's (and it wouldn't be necessary at all if more cinemas bothered with assigned seating), but it's all about the experience, man-- the experience of trying to use the McDonald's bathroom across the street to take a ****.

 

Strolls past line, enters cinema and sits in assigned seat.

 

*echoes from across the street*

What do you mean "they're for customers only"?!

 

*Lights up button on tray and waits for waiter*

 

I'm walking up and down the line trying to sell bootleg copies for the low low price of $29.99.

 

*has helmet and plastic blaster confiscated at the door*

What happened to america!

 

Okay fine, get me something from the Dollar Menu.

...It costs two dollars?!

 

*pulls lever back on recliner*

 

No, I will not calm down! This is blatant false advertising! I'm going to file a complaint with the FTC! ...I don't care if it wasn't your decision! I deserve to be treated with some respect! ...Go ahead, call the police! I'll have them arrest you for criminal business practices!

 

*orders a burger and coke. Goes for a tinkle and a **** while waiting for food*

 

[spoilet]I'm Kylo Ren. *jams saber into Threepio's head*

 

*shows usher ticket and points at heels*

 

*laughs as heels gets thrown out*

 

*Standing outside cinema, sees Heels, looks at the marquis above the door and back to Heels*

"You got thrown out of a celebrity slap down event?"

 

...Wha-- I wasn't suggesting that someone is going to nuke the movie theater. I'm just saying you stupid pigs could be doing something better with your time! Why should I go to the station with you? I can drive and I can borrow my grandma's car! ...Oh ****, they're letting people in! Keep away from me! I need to see a Star War!

*draws plastic lightsaber toy*

Don't tase me, bro!

 

*gets spoiled in a random Instagram comment for an unrelated cat picture*

YOU ****!

*hopes it is just fake troll spoilers not real spoilers*

*it's not*

I hate you.

 

Look, they're selling popcorn in a cup that looks like R2! and it's only $50!

 

They've officially done it...an American Doctor Who that literally turns Daleks into dustbins. Screw this noise!

 

The Bigger Fish promised me one next time we see TFA. *waits patiently*

 

*enjoys burger, sips on coke*

 

*takes off pants, gets arrested*

 

This is RPG, not what actually happened.