Thank You (Obi-wan?s POV, post TPM, pre AOTC, vignette)

Thank You (Obi-wan?s POV, post TPM, pre AOTC, vignette)

Dear Master,

It?s been nearly ten years since you died. I?ve never forgotten, in fact, I dread it whenever the anniversary of your death comes, because the nightmares come with it. I miss you with every year, though the pain heals with time. Just as you used to say, pain doesn?t leave, it fades, but it doesn?t go away. Sometimes, I still wake up to expect you standing at the doorway, smiling at me and telling me that I slept in again. Just like you sometimes did. Then there were those times where you literally dragged me out of bed as well, which I think were more common then those times when you actually let me sleep in.
Anakin realizes what today is, and decided to leave me alone for a while. In fact, he is the one to suggest that perhaps I write my feelings out in a letter to you. He said that perhaps it would help with the memories, and the nightmares. I think he?s done the same thing, as I?ve found him often enough over the years at his desk, writing out things to his mother, though she is as far beyond him as you are to me. In this way, we?re have something in common. We?re both orphans, though Anakin?s mother is still alive, we hope, she is out of his reach. The life of a slave is hard, and in time it can kill. But I never say that to Anakin. I can?t kill that last hope he has.
I wish to thank you, Master, for everything, but mostly for Anakin. I know I didn?t like the boy at first, in fact, I think I may have despised him. But that was my pride, and my selfishness. Without him, I don?t think I would be the man I am today. I may not even be alive if it wasn?t for him.
I remember that during the days after your funeral, I never got a good night?s sleep, as I would always wake after watching your death and your body burning over and over in my mind. My nightmares twisted everything during that time, and the young Queen at that time, Padme, as she insisted that I call her, took Anakin so I could straighten out my emotions. But one night she couldn?t, so he slept in his room in our temporary rooms there. The nightmares had escalated to their worst during that time, I think I remember waking up screaming a few times. I tried to smother my screams and cries, in fear that Anakin would hear them, but obviously I did not accomplish that, as he came to my room. He didn?t say a word, only slipped into the other side of my bed and hugged me. It was like a dam broke within me when I felt those little arms around my chest. I don?t know how long I cried, I just know that when I finished, I had no more tears to shed, and that the sorrow within me had begun to become less. Little Anakin still held onto me, and with slightly offset control, was sending me comfort. He was crying as well, yet he was offering me comfort. He really touched my heart then, Master, and it was the beginning of our bond and our friendship, many respects.
All these years later, we still help each other up when we need to. Though Anakin has grown distant from me now, and that distance hurts, I respect it. He is becoming his own person; he is no longer the affectionate boy he had once been. I am proud of him, though I act like I am not. I think I realize why you treated me in such a manner, after Xanatos. You were afraid that I would turn if I grew to have too much pride, and it is the same fear that I hold for Anakin, as he is a bit prideful. But otherwise he is a compassionate young man, who hates injustice and slavery with a passion that will make him a great Jedi. His power is immense, and by now, many agree he is the Chosen One. I cannot call him as such, though, because I have seen him in all his moods, from his lowest depression, to his highest joy, to his darkest fear, and his deadliest anger. His anger worries me, Master, but I hope in time he will learn to curve it. But the reason I cannot think of him as the Chosen One, is because he seems so human, and is human, with all his faults and hopes. Many Jedi do not see it like that, they see it as though he was inhuman, otherworldl

 

*sniffle* That was so good!

 

obaona: Thanks!

 

Wow. That was incredible. I love the way you made the relationship with Qui-Gon and Anakin equal to one another. Thank you for a nice Qui/ Obi story.

Velvet

 

awe that was sweet.

Nice job Neon!!

 

Velvet_Elfin: Thank you for the comment. I tried to make it out like that, and I am glad you noticed.

Arwen-Jade_Kenobi: Thanks! Glad you thought it was nice.

 

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Very touching and insightful, Neon - and filled with a haunting quality of remembered pain that still exists beneath the healing.

An excellent portrait of a young man coming to terms with the factors in his life that he can not change - and an equally strong suggestion that, no matter how much he may love Anakin, OW still senses that all is not as it should be.

Well done.

CYN