Phx Thanks for the shirt...

The all wise and powerful MexChewie has spoken!

MC remind me to give you a hug next time I see you. That was beautifully and caringly spoken.

 

Chewie, very well written, level headed, insightful . . . what are you doing in the PFF?!?

 

MJ, you are completely surrounded by friends here. We all understand your struggles - granted, as MexChewie pointed out, we obviously can't relate to everything, but we've all been through similar experiences, be they with friends, peers, teachers, parents, etc.

Please know that you are welcome to stay with Darth_Husband and me as well. We have a queen-size futon in the study that was purposely bought to be comfortable. Silly us. We actually like having people over. If you ever need to get out, and for some odd reason find yourself at the edge of the earth (aka, southeast Chandler), we're here. Heh, there's rumor that Jesus' lost sandal is out here somewhere too...

**huge hugs**

 

lol


Southeast Chandler... Not that far... I'm east Mesa...

 

Mexchewie... Choad...
You guys are good... almost made me cry.
*nods*
Damn good people here in the Fan Force...
Damn good...
Seriously thankful to be able to call you friends..

 

MJ... our 15 year old has more ... FREEDOM... shall we say than it seems you do sometimes...but then again, our restraints are things like. You're 15, your Glutius Maximus may not be viewable below the edge of your shorts. You must dress modestly for church, no profane language or illegal substance advertisement on clothing... ohhh yeah, and we need to know where you are and who you are with (we need to know them)and when you will be home. ... but then again... well.. she's 15...

Ok, I take that back... I lie... I have put my foot down about the leopard string bikin that she wants... but.... we're back to the she's 15 and not 19...

I was SOOOOO happy she wore her Jedi Broad Squad shirt to school today .... right after she ironed it?????? lmao

 

MJ...

Sometimes you need to "play the game to beat it". You are an actress... consider it your best preformance in a play. Your play.. Your parents want the perfect child? Give it to 'em. With both barrels. They have set a standard for you to live by. If you look closely you will see that they probably don't truly live by the standard they expect you to live by.

"Ohh Dad, I'm sorry I poured out all the beer, 50 year old bottle of wine, whisky, tequila etc etc, it was just too much of a bad influence on my brother and I, I'm sure you will understand that you are setting an example for us to live by"

"Ohh mom, how could you read that trashy, Book, magazine, news article, how could you allow such smut to be accesable to (insert brother's name here) and me???"

hide all your good clothes that you really like, and find some that you don't mind burning, make a big issue about "burning all the inappropriate clothes you own" and that you are only going to wear "frilly little dresses in pinks and peaches" and that you would love for her to set the example of whats appropriate and then proceed to "take the liberty of going through her closet and disguarding all of the clothes that she has that are 'inappropriate' for her in her role as your mentor and gave them to some homeless people where you are now volunteering your time"

Get rid of all the "satanic, non normal music in the house that encourages the 'voices' that tell you to do bad things to discourage the family"

Insist that you turn your car back over to them and that you MUST be escorted EVERYWHERE you need to go, because the world is just NOT SAFE enough for a young child like yourself to be out un-escorted, "especially a lady, it just wouldn't be proper in this day and age, MOTHER? What would people think??? You will ruin my reputation"

"Ohh Mummy, I am so glad I decided to listen to you (Insert innocent batting of eyelashes here) you are such a great influence, I rejoyce at my renewed outlook on life. I know that you will be happy because it is EXACTLY what you asked for"

Ok Ok I know it is some really EXTREME role reversal, but you hang around with us so a little sadistic fun on thier behalf might make things... well... a little clearer to them...

Just a thought.

 

Why am I really starting to like Choad's Girl?

 

<sniff> <sniff>

I'm so proud...

<sniff> <sniff>

She's learned so well from me...

 

MJ IF I had a brain I'd be dangerous... I don't know why I didn't think of this last night...

Ok, you said you "couldn't get a counselor" in a pervious post... BUT WAIT!!!!! YOU CAN!


You are Under 25, a full time student and living at home. You are under your parents Insurance... I know I know you don't want them to know,,, but keep reading...

Which ever parent has the insurance will also have EAP. (Employee Assistance Program) What this is is the company pays a think tank of shrinks per employee or employee family member that uses it. It is TOTALLY anonymous. All you have to do is call your Dad or Mom's work (depending on who has the insurance in the family) and ask for the EAP office (Usually in the Human Resources department) They will give you a toll free or local number to the EAP company they contract with. The EAP will ask for your Father or Mother's Social Security Number (which will be on your insurance card if you have one, or you can peek at a payroll stub and it will be on there also) and what company... they then log it there so they know who to bill (company) and verify that he is in the records (each month the company sends an up to date employee list to EAP so that it can remain anonymous who is using it but verify that the people using it are employees) This company you will have called will then set you up with a counselor in your area. It can be totally confidential, cost you nothing, cost your parents nothing, and no one but you will have to know. If you don't have a cell phone for them to contact you at for scheduling give them one of ours and we can PM you the ifnormation.

If this does NOT make sense, give me a call and I can try and explain it better.

 

lol...

That won't work. I'm under my dad's insurance...

The entire company is run by my family (2 uncles, dad's best friend and my dad)...

My dad serves as VP, Office Manager, HR director, and anything else that needs to be done. He even changed insurance for the entire company because I needed more physical therapy than the provider allowed.


Meh. I'll live without counseling... BUT NOT WITHOUT MY DAVEY HAVOK POSTER!!

 

>music intro< Back in the USS back in the USS back in the USSR! >end intro<

UGHHHH! how messed up is that? Sorry MJ... Well you still have us.

 

Wow, talk about about an outpouring of friendship! I think it's safe to say we all agree that you're a good and wonderful person, MJ. It's also apparent that we all think what your parents are doing and thinking is wrong. I wish there was something we could do to make it go away. All the advice I have has already been given by the wonderful people here. I wish you the best in dealing with your parents, and just want to reiterate this point: Remind them of your agreement, and demand that they adhere to every point, or they are letting you down as parents. If they cannot keep their word to you, they cannot reasonably expect that they are teaching you the life lessons that they seem to hold so dear.

 

MJ, where do you go to school? If you go to ASU, you can get *free* counseling for a bit, if you are still interested.

http://www.asu.edu/counseling_center/

If you get finanical aid or tell the counselors that your parents are not going to let you get the help you need, they can probably provide more free sessions. Just make *sure* that you fill out the form for fee waivers

I'm Mexican American and my dad was *incredibly* strict on me and my sister, so I too know a little about how you feel. It's a clash of cultures, I swear and it's not fun.
My freshman year I moved out against his wishes into a dorm and yet he still controlled my life and my work schedule and my mom was powerless to stop him. He was doing as he saw best, I know that now but it absolutely is horrible while you're living the situation.

It took a long while, but since I"ve moved to college, moved back home and then moved back out to a dorm for my final year in school, I somehow managed to grow up somewhat in my father's eyes. I'm not sure how i did it, but I think it had to do with me acting like an adult in *some* things: I got a job and have supported myself, I did well in school, I got involved in religious activities and I never got in trouble of any kind. I will always be his little girl and most of the time he still acts like it, but now he doesn't try to force me to take out my piercings or keep me from working during the weekdays or tell me who I can date or what I should wear. Most importantly, he couldn't stop me from going into counseling at ASU and start medication and therapy for depression, even though he was dead set against me doing just that.

I don't know you and I don't really know the specifics of your situations but I really hope that your parents lighten up, because I'd really hate to see such a nice woman and her parents get hurt. Life is just too short for crap like this.

 

As someone who's half-hispanic and grew up with at least a part of Mexican culture, I know that's how it can be sometimes, although my mother's side of the family has always seemed to be more liberal and accepting of differences.

Anwelei, it's truly good to hear that you got the therapy you needed, especially in spite of resistance from your family. I know a lot of times that resistance (or fear of it) holds people back.

 

I'm not sure where I've been for the last 2 days, but here I am at last...seeing that everyone else has said what I would have said. Someone said something about great minds....

MJ, you know how I feel about this. I personally am going to pray for you and your ordeal. Something good has to happen sometime. Until then, keep , makes em wonder what's up...