Saga That's PRINCESS Leia to You, Pal!

Title: That's PRINCESS Leia to You, Pal!
Genre: hopefully humor
Characters: Leia, Luke, Han, Chewy
Era: ANH
Author: VaderLVR64

Didn't think I'd leave Leia out of this, did you? Palpy is coming at some point, too.


That?s PRINCESS Leia to You, Pal!


It sounded like a bad joke. A pirate, a farmboy, and a Wookie walk into a battle station? When I sent that message to General Kenobi I was sort of expecting a dignified Jedi Knight to get the job done and perhaps figure out a way to rescue me. I mean, I AM Princess Leia and being royalty ought to count for something. I?m sitting there in that drab cell (would it KILL them add a hint of color?) waiting for my execution when Shorty comes dashing in, trying to act all heroic. Yeah, that would be great except for one thing. He didn?t have a plan! I mean, who tries to break a prisoner out of an Imperial battle station without a plan? Obviously farmboys do.

Shorty is joined by the pirate, who tries to act all macho and ?gee, look at me I?m so adorable? but neither one of them is getting our hides out of that detention area. So I take charge of the situation, and Prettyboy gets all huffy. Like he could have done any better! Then the overgrown Ewok decides his sensibilities are too refined to jump in a garbage chute. Excuse me? That tower of fur and bad attitude eats raw meat and smells like a?well, a Wookie. And he?s worried about a little stink from the garbage pit?

Okay, I admit I MIGHT have been a tad cranky seeing as how they had just blown up my whole planet and everything. I?m going to miss dad, but my Aunt Riana? Good riddance! She always made fun of me when I was growing up. Kept calling me ?the little darkling,? whatever that meant. One time she got me really mad and I just glared at her and something must have scared her because she started making choking sounds and looking all bug-eyed at me. She pretty much avoided me after that, but it still creeped me out. So I guess I won?t miss everyone on Alderaan. And there was this guy, Gordo, who kept threatening to go the tabloids and tell them how we made out behind the gardener?s shed and had gotten drunk together. Yeah, I won?t miss him either.

Anyway, back to the point at hand. They had just destroyed my planet. They being Tarkin (also known as Skeletor) and Darth Vader, whom I just refer to as ?The Perv? (I think he's made some obscene com calls to a friend of mine). Vader decided to rough me up a little, but I?m no sissy girl so I handled it without snitching on the rebels and ticked him off but good. Obviously, things like that tend to make a girl a bit grumpy, excuse me! It was just one of those days you know? You wake and know it?s going to be a bad hair day (have you ever tried to wear pastry on your head?), you get captured; they blow up your planet, and then a little torture to round out the festivities. Now I?m dealing with Prettyboy and Shorty and it?s not looking any better. The pirate decides to run toward the stormtroopers! What a moron! I think that man is a few cards short of a full sabaac deck.

That leaves Shorty and I are on our own. It?s not like they have signs posted in the Death Star with a dot showing ?You are here!? to help, so we are busting our butts trying to find an exit. Again, no exit signs. I think the Empire has something against signage. I finally get us to a place with an exit and Shorty blows out the bridge controls. He?s freaking out, I can see that, and he?s about to wet his borrowed armor if things don?t change. So I give Shorty a kiss (UGH!) to distract him and tell him to get a move on. Miraculously, he doesn?t kill us on our way over oblivion!

I?m counting on the help of Obi-Wan, who is after all a Jedi and supposed to be pretty darn good in the help department, but somehow Prettyboy and Shorty let him get killed. Good going, guys! The last Jedi left in the entire galaxy and you let The Perv kill him. Great use of resources there, boys! Then Shorty gets all weepy and turns on the big sad baby blues to full power, but

 

LOL! That's a funny one!!

 

Hehe, awesome! Can't WAIT for Palpatine.

This is sort of like the Very Secret Diaries of LotR...except without all the perviness. I like, I like!

 

Well I?ll be a gundark?s uncle, she did it!



And here's me thinking you'd never be able to pull it off with serious-minded Leia. More fool me.

After this lot I shall never be able to watch the OT the same way again . . .

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Nem

 

Haha! Shorty and Prettyboy. That's good.

 

Kept calling me ?the little darkling,? whatever that meant. One time she got me really mad and I just glared at her and something must have scared her because she started making choking sounds and looking all bug-eyed at me.

(have you ever tried to wear pastry on your head?),


Loved it. Can't wait for Palpatine's viggie!

 

Fantastic short, VaderLVR!

Loved the Aunt Riana problem. I can soooo see young Leia doing that. The situation with Gordo was pretty funny, too.

Like the nick-names she gives Han, Luke, and Chewie.

Well done.

 

Lol!

Well of course Chewie looks and smells like a Wookiee Leia, he's in one

*falls oput of ehr chair laughing*

Ow...

Very nice VaderLVR!

:Targeter:

 

LOL!!! Hysterical! I love it! I laughed nonstop from the opening line to the ending. Will there be more?

 

Great One glad you liked this one!

Connemar Yeah, this is what they were REALLY thinking!

JediNemesis and you thought Leia was all prim and proper!

Dally Yes Shorty and Prettyboy sure did test her patience didn't they?

Gina I figure one of the kids has to have Vader's lack of patience, right?

Darth-Ander Yeah, Aunt Riana is a real hard-case. No one liked her!

CodeName Targeter glad you liked it! Do you need help up?

amidalachick right now I'm working on Palpy's, Luke and Vader each have one of their own on the Beyond the Saga board, and I'm trying to get inside Boba Fett's head but he's proving reluctant!

Thanks to everyone who read this!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I love reading these inner workings of our favorite characters minds!

 

Where is that stupid Corellian? I want to rub his nose in this one.

That finally explains why she was so happy to see him return at the end of ANH!

 

Too many funny lines to list, but I must say that my favorite part was little Leia inadvertently "choking" her Aunt Riana after having been called the "little darkling". Leia is definitely the Skywalker who inherited their father's temper. Too too cute! Very clever!

 

Kept calling me ?the little darkling,? whatever that meant. One time she got me really mad and I just glared at her and something must have scared her because she started making choking sounds and looking all bug-eyed at me.

Is little Leia here? Coz I can't breathe either. That is so funny

That's Vader's daughter you're choking lady! LOL



I think the Empire has something against signage.

Sounds like the Empire!


LOL, great fic

 

Anyway, back to the point at hand. They had just destroyed my planet. They being Tarkin (also known as Skeletor) and Darth Vader, whom I just refer to as ?The Perv? (I think he's made some obscene com calls to a friend of mine).

Vader, you are a genius! Tarkin really does look like Sketelor with his boney cheeks, scary but I never would have thought to name Darth Vader "The Perv". Brilliant humor viggie.

Obscene com calls?

~aeryn

 

It sounded like a bad joke. A pirate, a farmboy, and a Wookie walk into a battle station...

Oh, my gosh!

I was reading this in class last night, but I had to turn the computer off before I got two paragraphs into this because I was laughing so hard; I didn't want the teacher to know I was surfing on the sly. (Got caught once that way. Very embarrassing. But I digress...)

my Aunt Riana? Good riddance! Got an aunt like that.

It?s not like they have signs posted in the Death Star with a dot showing ?You are here!? That would be helpful, wouldn't it?

 

Prettyboy and Shorty!! LOL!!

Great job! ~Marsa

 

"Shorty did it! He actually destroyed the Death Star. He?s a hero! But I?m still not kissing him! Yuck!"

=>

This, once again, is excellent

 

have you ever tried to wear pastry on your head?

ROTFLMAO!

My tummy hurts! I?m laughing so hard.

 

I loved it! Hilarious! I hope you figure out how to get into Boba Fett's head, cause I think that one could be pretty interesting, too.

I loved Leia "accidentally" almost choking her aunt as a child...guess she did get more of Anakin's genes, didn't she!

Can't wait for more of these!