Beyond - Legends The Adventures of Captain Cardboard and Amazing Holostar(K/J/J) ~*~FINALLY NEW POSTIE 5/14!!!!!!~*~

Alrighty then, people, this is my first attempt at writing something like this, so please be nice!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Georgie does. But if he ever finds out how much fun I had with these characters, he'd sue me, so let's keep it to ourselves...

Mucho thanks to Saber, my wonderful bestest and beta!

(J=Jaina, L=Leia, H=Han, CC= Captain Cardboard, AH=Amazing Holostar)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

J: Woe is me! Woe is me!

L: Why, what is the matter, dearest daughter?

J: Woe is me! I cannot choose between my lovers!

H: Lovers?!?!

J: Yes! Woe is me!

L: And who might those lovers be, dearest daughter?

J: They are? (fanfare) Captain Cardboard and the Amazing Holostar!!

(J leaves)

(H mutter intelligibly. The only discernible words are ?kill? and ?carbonite.?)

L: What was that, dearest husband?

H: What do you mean, ?dearest?? Are you implying that you have other husbands that are ?dear? and ?dearer?!

L: Whatever do you mean? Just relax, dearest!

H: (walks over to bar) You tell me you have seven other ?dear? husbands tucked away in a closet on some backwater planet and my daughter has not one, but two lovers, and you expect me to be calm?!?!

L: (wrings hands) Oh, dear?

H: (sarcastically) He?s not here now. Only ?dearest? is. (takes a large gulp of whiskey) I (gulp) can?t (gulp) believe (gulp) this (gulp) is (gulp) happening (gulp) to (gulp) me. (passes out)

L: (wrings hands) Oh, dear?
*************************

(Scene opens with Jaina seated in the middle of the stage, her head bowed. Around her are starflower petals, and she is currently picking an entire bouquet to pieces.)

J: Captain Cardboard? Amazing Holostar? Captain Cardboard? Amazing Holostar? Captain Cardboard?

(Amazing Holostar, a.k.a. Kyp, bounds onto stage)

AH: Wherefore art thou sittingst there so dejected, mine belovedst?

J: Amazing Holostar! Oh, I love you? I just love your flamboyance, your grandiloquentness, your aptitude for using three hundred words when one will do?

(J and AH kiss)

J: Oh, you?re so experienced? You?re like the town speeder bike, everyone?s had a ride? Oh?

AH: Dost mine most extremely belovedst find my previous, aforementioned affairs of the organ which pumpest life?s blood to the body? exciting?

J: YES!!!

(blond bimbo walks by, waggling her? apparatus. AH stares.)

J: (jerks AH?s head around) Amazing Holostar, look at me!

(blond bimbo walks by, waggling her? apparatus. AH stares.)

J: (jerks AH?s head around) Amazing Holostar, look at me!

(blond bimbo walks by, waggling her? apparatus. AH stares.)

J: (jerks AH?s head around) Amazing Holostar, look at me!

(blond bimbo walks by, waggling her? apparatus. AH stares.)

(J slaps AH?s face)

AH: (begins crying) Whatever was that (sniff) for, (sniff) belovedst? (sob)

J: Oh, I?m sorry, Amazing Holostar! Here, let me kiss it and make it all better?

AH: (whimper) Very well?

(Captain Cardboard, a.k.a. Jag, calls from offstage)

CC: Jai-na? Jai-na?

J: *gasp* That?s Captain Cardboard! Quickly, you must fly!

AH: No! Not withoutst one last, fleeting, passionate, sweetest kiss from the lips of mine most, greatest, beautifullest belovedst!

(J and AH kiss again. And again. And again.)

J: *smothered giggle* Ooh, Amazing Holostar! Ooh! Stop! No? Don?t stop!

(Suddenly, Frankenstein-like footsteps are heard offstage)

J: Fly, my love!

AH: Wilt thou promisest to meetst thine one true love, me, Amazing Holostar, underneath yonder tall, dark, foreboding tree when the lunar mass is fullest, at the middle of the nocturnal cycle?

(AH points dramatically off into the distance)

J: Yes, yes, beloved, only fly!

(AH bounds offstage, blowing wild kisses)

J: Woe is me!

(CC walks onto stage)

CC: Good morn-ing Jai-na. Why are you sit-ting there?

J: I was waiting for you, my love.

CC: I love you.

J: And I love you! Your stoicism, your robotlikeness, your mindless obedience? All of your attributes quite whip me up in

 

My my my, this looks familiar

Why, didn't I beta this?

Good luck!

Don't die on me

 

That was funny. Keep it up.

 

That was great! Good to see something crazy like this going up, by a J/Jer, no less! Keep it up!

Jae Angel

 

NOW LOOK WHO'S WRITING A K/J/J!!

Woe is me! i started a trend!

now that i'm done venting...





this is pretty dang funny, JF06! very cute- can't wait to read more!

 

ROTFLOL! A K/Jer checking in. Why would I want to shoot you? Between this and Deconstructing Jaina I am kept in stitches, and considering how sick I am right now, I need a good laugh.

~~Jilly

 

And I love you! Your stoicism, your robotlikeness, your mindless obedience? All of your attributes quite whip me up into a frenzy of passionate desire! OMG!!

 

That was hysterical. Is there more?

 

HA!!!





HA!!!

EJ

 

Saber: Bestest, you're the best! Here's some chocolate- Go feed your bunny!


tendra: Thanks!


NJ: So glad you like it! And, well, I'm crazy... I freely admit it...


j_g: *cringes* I'm sorry! It was my bunny's fault!!!!! Thankies!


JainaDurron: Deconstructing Jaina is amazingly hilarious! I'm glad you thought this was funny... And I'm sorry you're sick!


Ksotf: I thought you K/Jers would like that line...


TKL: Why, yes, there is, if only my bunny can get her little sister to stop bothering me...


EJ: Glad you liked!

 

Heheheh that was funny to read. Surely puts you back in the mood and happiness after reading two lines. Do you have more in stock for us??? Hope so...

 

Just checking to see how the bestest's thread is...

 

J: They are? (fanfare) Captain Cardboard and the Amazing Holostar!!

THA AMAZING HOLOSTAR!!!! oh my goodness!!

*is still laughing uncontrollably*

--Den

 

that was great, JF06! are you meaning to continue this?

 

LJS: Thanks so much! Yeah, more coming soon...


Saber: It's doing great.

*wrestles Anna Louise Charlotte Monica Phillipa Margaret Alissa Elizabeth Mary Catherine Bunny to the ground*

See? *wipes hands*

*bunny escapes* Nooooooooo!!


Deneveon: Glad you liked!


Lt: Thanks! Why yes I am! Soon...

 

oh sweet force!!!

*collapses in laughter*

~TJF

 

If the socks "Captain Cardboard" and "Amazing Holostar" show up on the boards, I will die laughing.

Very amusing, Jaina_Fel_06. I hope there will be more.

 

Did some-one call my name?

 

Oh beist quiet, you robotic loon! We canst all seeith that Jaina hath eyes for only me, Amazing Holostar!

 

LJC: You just HAD to make them appear, didn't you?

JF06: Put your socks back in the drawer!!!

**bunny pops out from behind Saber and picks up socks, and puts them back into durasteel cage**

 

TJF:


LJC: Thanks so much! And, yes, there will be more...


CC and AH:


Saber: They aren't mine, I swear! I swear, I swear! I was shocked when I saw them, and I started cracking up, but they aren't mine!!!!!!

 

L: (wrings hands) Oh, dear?

H: (sarcastically) He?s not here now. Only ?dearest? is.

Brilliant! Poor Han . . .

 

WANTED: IDENTITY OF THE OWNER OF THOSE SOCKS

REWARD: LAUGHTER AND CHOCOLATE

 

Bestest: I really thought they were your socks- they're written exactly in character according to your post...

 

[face_shocked]



*falls and dies on the floor*