Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Disco_Lando, May 11, 2001.
He is one step ahead of me yet again.
Damn, he's a good Communications Officer.
Leda sends a memo to the official communications officer.
To: Ender, official communications officer.
Fr: Leda, CFO
RE: The future of the Shiny Peach
Dear Sir, Madam, or other,
We have not been formally introduced, so let me take this opportunity to welcome you aboard. Welcome aboard.
In the interests of our profits and our glory, I think we need to address a critical failure in communications here on The Shiny Peach: I have no name plate on my desk or office door.
I expect you can take care of this. Thank you in advance for handling it.
I have recieved secure communications from Lord Dream that he will be taking his position as the Smart-Assed First Officer.
So Leda, you're saying you want a shiny peach?
Yes, and I'm one step behind. Thank you Disco Lando.
I'm getting tired. I welcome you all to join in the insanity! I shall return shortly. I expect to see some action! Frogs! Helmets! Pens!
::climbs aboard the Shiny Peach, then exits::
Damn. We haven't got any beds installed yet.
"Nova Mart"...."Nova Mart"... I just know there's a joke there somewhere....
You! Get me my towel! I'll be boarding this... errr... ship shortly.
You! No, the other you! C'mere... Go the PX and get me these supplies....
What? Like I need anything else... now SHOO!
To: Ender, CCO
Fr: Leda, CFO
Peaches are lovely. Go Shiny Peach.
Toward that end I believe we ought to get me name plates. Thank you for your attention to these details.
Additionally, I have arranged for a meeting with the local pocket fluff distributors for this afternoon. They have a shipment they will pay us to take somewhere. Please memo all appropriate departments.
The clients will be here tomorrow morning with the goods and the credits. Let's put our best foot forward.
The limes, Dream! You forget the limes!
And good job, Leda. Keep up the good work. Now all we need is a working engine.
::falls back asleep::
The limes, how could we? Just a question, we talking fruit here?
Uhhh Cap'n I'm having that stuff delivered.... later... yeah...
Lemme guess, the bunks get installed Tuesday. Wonderful. I got shotgun!!!!
*races towards cockpit lounge chairs*
RÃ©ka is walking along, her nose in a book (the latest effort of Anne McCaffrey, if you must know), and so doesn't notice the monstrosity of a ship that is in her way.
Until she runs into it, that is.
She recoils, book smashed, glasses bent out of shape, and nose betraying traces of blue paint?the alie<ahem> frog being somewhat freshly painted, you know.
RÃ©ka: Oh, sorry 'bout that. (pause) What was that, anyway? (she peers through obviously-nearsighted eyes at the hulking junkhea<ahem> ship.)
Lord Dream: (handing RÃ©ka her glasses, and her unfortunate book) Here ya go, only slightly the worse for the wear.
RÃ©ka: (putting on her "eyes") Hey... I know you! (looking at Disco Lando) And you! What are you two doing here? (looks at Ender and Leda) But I haven't a clue who you two are. Must be the lack of nameplates. ... Yeah, that's it. Oh, well. Now, where was I...
(She sits down on the steps of the junkhea<ahem> Shiny Peach?thereby temporarily blocking Disco's route of egress?and continues reading her book.)
(Upon further perusal, she decides that turning the book right-side-up would be more conducive to reading.)
I'd like to apply for the position of Confused Communication Officer. I'm perfect for the job.
RÃ¨... ahh RÃª... err RÃ«... grrr... !!! Ahhh RÃ©ka! How's it goin'? Here let me wipe that paint of your nose... there that's better.
Does this mean you're coming with?
mutters under her breath:
Does no one read the JC profiles for names anymore?
then mutters under her breath:
What new book?
RÃ©ka looks up from her book: Coming with? Why, where're we going?
Eh, never mind, it doesn't matter. I suppose I am coming along. As long as I can hide in a corner and be forgotten about whenever I so please.
(She puts her book on a handy shelf [it's "Pegasus in Space"?not really new, per se...] and starts looking about the place. In the process, she happens to look at Leda again, from a different angle this time...)
Is that a... no, it can't be... but... Yes! It's a feather! I do know you, Eo<ahem> -what is it now? Leda? Yes, that's it- Leda! What are you doing here, where not even the birds fly?*
(RÃ©ka and Leda begin to commiserate about the general lack of nameplaques and good bunks)
*translation: "what are you doing in this godforsaken place?"
Jedi Eo-... er... I mean Leda meets the new client at the hatchway and shows him around the ship. She first shows him the sleeping bays with now bunks or anything.
The client thinks these big wide open spacious storage units are really cool. Nice environmental controls and everything.
"You don't usually get this kind of service from most shipping companies" says the client.
"We care about your pocket fluff and your continued business" says Leda.
"I'll need the pocket fluff to be completely undisturbed during transit" says the client mysteriously.
"Well, that's something we should take up with the captain and the security chief," responds Leda.
"True, true. So when do we meet with them?"
"Well, hmmm. Good question. I believe the Captain is involved with a search committee right now, and the security chief is doing security stuff. Safety is our prime concern."
"Glad to hear it."
"The second officer is waiting for us now," continues Leda.
"Good, good." They go to where the second officer Lord Dream and Disco_Lando are meeting with the communications officer Ender & unassigned officer RÃ©ka.
Ender: So, I've got to say the net monkey seems to have extensive leadership experience...
RÃªka: Hmmmm. He seems though to lack leadership successes. A string of 12 mutinies. And 13 is an unlucky number.
Lando: But do you see his musical tastes? If you can call them that?
Dream: Frank Sinatra isn't that bad.
Leda: Gentlemen, I'd like you too meet our prospective client. Lord Phuzz, these are officers Ender, RÃ©ka, Lando & Dream. Officers Ender, Lando, & Dream, this is Lord Phuzz. I believe you got the memo about how our services especially fit with his particular needs?
Oh, yes, say the officers.
Meanwhile, Leda's eyes catch one of the resume's pictures. "Horatio Hornblower" -- now THERE's potential material!!!!
RÃ«ka glares at the narrator and then explains to the client their plans for exporting his pocket fuzz with efficiency, dedication & care.
Client: I need my pocket fluff to be undisturbed during the flight.
Dream: That'll cost extra.
Client: I'm prepared to pay for the service. But I'll need no questions asked.
Lando wondering which planet they should sell the fuzz on and what to rename the ship: That shouldn't be a problem.
They agree on a price.
They all shake.
shake shake shake shake quiver shake
Leda dials up milk shakes from the replicator with which to seal the deal.
shake shake shake shake milk shake
The client doesn't authorize the initial payment chit.
Leda: Is something wrong?
Client: You didn't ask where the shipment was going.
Dream: It was a no questions asked deal.
The client is impressed by the service.
The client tells them where the shipment is going and arranges the initial payment.
Leda escorts the client back to his offices.
< picks self up off pavement and arranges robes...>
RC: What the f... How did get here!?
Where's the suburban? <squints> Lando? I thought you were pumping out dance mix for some big shingig back on Dantooie.
What's all this then?
Rhui! How are you, Auntie? Still got your funny hat, I see.
::looks at the Shiny Peach and bites lower lip::
Well, yeah, that gig on Dantooine fell through when I spilled coffee on the sound board... so I sort of went out and bought a starship in hopes of putting together..
*cue theme music*
THE P.S.A. (It's Pretty Silly, Actually) REBELLION: THE NEXT GENERATION
We're going to travel across the Galaxy in search of a 5 year mission. But first we've got to deliver all of this pocket fluff...
Say... pocket fluff... lots and lots of pocket fluff... maybe we won't have to wait until Tuesday to get the bunkers installed after all...
::Leda looks at him sternly and reminds him that the fluff is not to be disturbed::
Well, anyway, we're putting together a crew! So far we've got
Lord Dream - Smart Assed First Officer
Leda - Chief Financial Officer in Charge of Missions and Odd Jobs
Ender - Confused Communications Officer
I also nominate Reka (sorry about the missing ') to be our Near Sighted Navigational Officer, should she accept.
~(Oh, and on another note, somebody must be trying to put a stop to all this nonsense... I woke up yesterday and found out that my phone lines were down... I've resorted to using the local Circuit City for communications purposes...)~
? ? ?
*is clueless, but doesn't want anybody to clue him in *
Since I was a (very) part time member of the Rebellion, I guess I ought to stop by quickly.
Could you possibly use a grumpy chief medical officer? Who shall remain nameless; until give a name, of course.
In honor of Mother's Day:
Doctor ___________, where are those flowers I told you to buy?
Dammit, fill in blank here, I'm a doctor, not a florist!
Deep within the bowels of the HMS Tiny Peach...
*into comlink* What? Are you certain? I'll be right there....
... Look, I don't care how much it costs... I need it.... Don't use that tone of voice with me.... WHAT!!!!... *slam*
Uhhh Cap'n, there's a problem with the bunkers. They won't be ready until next Tuesday, and then at twice the price...
Welcome, ValedaKor, the Grumpy Chief Medical Officer, who shall hencefourth be known as Grumpy Chief Medical Officer, Doctor Val.
Antilles! don't you want to stick around for a while and shoot up some evil aliens?
And darn those bunker people. We'll have to resort to cryogenic sleeping chambers instead. I managed to secure a few off of E-Bay. Which means that Lord Dream will be in charge of pest/face hugger control until we get a janitor assigned.