The Adventures of the P.S.A. Rebellion

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Disco_Lando, May 11, 2001.

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  1. Leda Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 1
    MEANWHILE across empty space where no sound travels Yakshishmariznaooble Gargamalliosis is also listening to Dr. Kor's directions. He's been doing this for days now... and he thinks it is beginning to show in his abs and incisors.

    Maybe when he blasts that ship to smithereens (because if he doesn't use up the ammo on his ship he won't get new ammo during the next allocation process!)... maybe he should first kidnap the good doctor?


    BACK IN ENGINEERING the giant fluff ball rolls in, to get Toshi Station to come help the good doctor. Toshi comes out from behind what has to be a big piece of equipment ... it looks like a really big thing... and takes one look at the fluff bunny .... and ... yelps!

    "NOT NEAR MY ENGINES! NOT NEAR MY ENGINES! OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT !!!"

    Toshi chases the fluff bunny out into the hall waving a big ugly broom. The fluff bunny rolls off to get more help.

    Toshi returns to his study of local languages. The computer says a phrase in Ta and he repeats it back.

    "ASdoui oapoeawiutaopewjt ksdfjg;u taert" says the computer voice.

    "ASdoiuaewrk akj apoiuat a;iatrepiu ard" repeats Toshi Station. At least he has his John Denver tape to keep him company.


    Ender, in need of some medicinal liquids (liquids do a body good) goes to sick bay.

    Dr. Valeda Kor: ahhrrggghh!

    Ender: Hey, do you have more medicinal fluids I could drink?

    Dr. Valeda Kor: grraaaararrravb! Help me straighten!

    Ender: OK.

    Ender calls Reka who is now spinning dials on every port on the bridge. She's in charge right now. She understand the request and goes down to navigation. She does the math in her head and takes the ship for a spin.

    Soon what was up is down and what was down is up. Dr Kor, now on the ceiling, but flat, pauses and decides this is a better situation. Disco & Rhui think this is the most fun calisthenics they have ever done.

    But Yakshishmariznaooble Gargamalliosis in the Ta ship feels left out. No one spun his ship. :(
  2. Disco Lando Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2000
    Captain Lando, envigored from his calesthenic adventure, sits down (or is it up?) at his desk to do some healthy important work.

    He checks his D-Mail account to find a secret message encoded in colons, semicolons, forward slashes, and parentheses.
  3. Lord Dream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 1
    Disco Lando walks into the recreation deck of the SS Shiny Peach only to come face to face with 3 Dreams... again.

    LD: Uhh Cap'n I...
    LD #2: seem to have...
    LD #3: split apart again.
    DL: Oh *****.... not again.

    LD: I also seem...
    LD #2: to be slipping...
    LD #3: through different realities.
    LD: Only it's getting worse.
    LD #2: I'm starting to find more...
    LD #3: and more of me each time...

    DL: Whoa... waitafrickinminutehere. You mean to tell me more of you keep popping up? WTH?!? The last thing I want is a smart-arsed First Officer... I sure as snot don't want an infinite supply.
    LD 1, 2 & 3: Ooops.
  4. Disco Lando Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2000
    Oh no! Lord Dream's ability to split apart must have been...

    ...CLONED!!!

    Resulting in an infintesimal ability to split apart again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...

    Hmm... perhaps then we'll have a full crew at the very least.

    *ponder, ponder*
  5. Rhui Chatar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 1999
    star 3
    "...And as our courageous Captain ponders the concept of Lord Dream being beside himself to the 10th power...."

    <Ace passenger and crack math wiz (*cough* or is that math crack wiz...whatever...) Rhui Chatar emerges from the ship's laundry room after having successfully vanquished a ball of fluff that had been blocking the dryer vent. Having averted potential disaster for the whole ship and crew, she comes to the realization that she's been Frank long enough and it's not doing a thing for her social life. In order to remedy this situation she goes in search of the grumpy Dr. Valdecor.... something or other, who seemed to be having a gender crisis of his/her own earlier, hoping to receive some sage advice about the Frank thing.>

    RC: < talking to self walking toward the bridge...> It's not like I didn't like Frank. It's just that, well, *being* Frank was well, difficult. That's it! Being Frank is just too dam difficult to keep up for very long. < arriving at the bridge >
    Captain! Permission to stop being Frank... ah.... Sir!

    < Disco and Dream look up from their game of Battleship >

    DL: Rhui! Is that you? Hard to tell when you're being Frank.

    RC: You ought to try it from my side... Life's tough when your shirts all button the wrong way. I'm gonna miss the cigars though.
    Dream: Oh yeah, there was this big fluffy presence looking for you earlier. Something about you roughing up one of its offspring.

    RC: Me!? All I did was clean the dryer vent and toss the fluff....... <pause> Uh oh! I guess I can be Frank for a while longer. Ummm, have we reached the bakery yet? I was going to bring some tarts to the Dr. Val to see what he... ah... she did with them. Scientifically speaking of course.

    < Reka exclaims from the left side of the front end of the ship >

    REKA: Baklava! Bakery Ho!

    LEDA: Holy Cannoli's Bat Manuel! I think
    we're there!

    (note to self- don't lose the link to the tread dummy)
  6. Disco Lando Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2000
    (Rhui!)

    Aboard the bridge, Lord Dream debriefs Lando on the situation.

    Lord Dream: "As you can see, captain, I have sunken your battleship."

    Disco Lando: "But not before I could craftily move it to a different position!"

    Lord Dream: "Are you sure that's in the rules?"

    Disco Lando: "Uh... positive."

    Lord Dream: "Hmmmmm..."

    Disco Lando: "Hey, wait a minute. Look at the viewscreen. Isn't that the planet that we left from? Réka!!!"

    Réka: (talking to a statue of MacTusken) "Yes, captain?"

    Disco Lando: "Give me those navigational sheets! What's this? You've been drawing them out on circular paper! We're right back where we started!"

    Rhui Chatar: "So am I going to get my croissants or not?"

    Lord Dream #2: "Yes, captain. And you'd better have a look at this! The Bakery looks to be surrounded by several dozen armadas of armed droids!"

    Disco Lando: "What on earth? Why would a droid army want to take over the galaxy's most heralded of baked goods retailers?"

    Lord Dream: "Very interesting. Should I suggest that it would be worth looking into?"

    Rhui Chatar: "Quite! I missed it the first time around, and I'll be hornswoggled if I'm going to be stopped from getting something this go."

    Lord Dream #3: "Hornswoggled?"

    Lord Dream: "How can we expect to fight an entire army of mechanical soldiers?"

    Disco Lando: "Organize the fluffballs."
  7. Réka Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 1999
    star 4
    But... but... I've gotta have my cheesecake! They can't just go surrounding the bakery with troops! This is intolerable!

    Fluffballs? I don't know if that will be sufficient... I gotta have my brownies... Think, Réka, think! There has to be a way to defeat the blockade!

    Réka contemplates furiously. Smoke is starting to come out of her ears when...

    Eureka! I've got it! You know those dryers<ahem> navicomputers in the laundry room<ahem> navigational deck? Well, drye<ahem> navicomputers have lintscreens, don't they? So, we kind of augment our pocket fuzz troops with the lint! Brilliant, aren't I?

    Added bonus is, of course, that we're talking navigational lint here, so it automatically knows how to get wherever it needs to go.

    Without waiting for approval or anything, Réka proceeds into laundry room<ahem> whatever-you-want-to-call-the-place-with-the-dryer<ahem>-navicomputers. She starts fiddling knobs and flipping switches like a madwoman, mixing darks and lights in one load, using chlorine bleach on the delicate washables, and generally wreaking havoc. Occasionally, she is heard to mutter, "Gotta have my jelly donuts!" The Giant Ball O'Fluff watches with interest, but doesn't interfere, preferring instead to grow ever larger.
  8. cable1996 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2001
    star 4
    Are you guys still looking for good people?
  9. Disco Lando Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2000
    Welcome, Cable! Feel free to join in the madness at any point, although I'm not sure how much longer the Real Rebellion will last. www.psarebellion.com is in the process of it's final days of any updating, and the message board is gone... this thread may be the last thing anyone ever sees of any Rebellion against the JC, and all we've done here is babble on about the most absurd things we can think of...

    Speaking of babbling...

    ______


    Réka!!! IT'S BRILLANT!!!

    Lando sits back and watches the events unfold on a crappy monitor (which he has to hit several times a minute) tossing popcorn kernels into his mouth and laughing like a crazed person.
  10. ValedaKor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 5
    Disco_Lando, speaking of babble on -- gosh, I'm one of David Grey's biggest fans too!!

    Oh...my mistake...never mind.

    Grumpy Dr. Val has returned from a visit (A VISIT, I tell you!) to the Betty Fiord Intergalatic Drying Out Facility on the island of Kalifornia (ha ha, all you earthquake naysayers -- told 'ya what was gonna happen!) where he enjoyed meeting a whole bunch of retired fluffballs, who urged him to return to the Shiny Peach and make a stand for Continuation. And as we all know, Dr. Val will pretty much stand for anything, especially if it has a pretty set of bubbles and/or little pink umbrellas stuck in the glass.

    The dialog continues...

    Dr. Val enters the bridge of the Shiny Peach, being especially careful not to trip over the sill -- he's lifting his feet up better and better these days. He stops in confusion.

    "Where is everybody?"



  11. Disco Lando Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2000
    It suddenly occurred to me that we would never defeat Gargomalliosis and his army unless we were more skilled in the ways of the Force.

    In a rash display of random mindlessness, I sent Lord Dream to inspect a dusty, abandoned University on a nearby planet.

    Upon further inspection, he realized that the building was not abandoned, but was full of textbooks and manuals that needed comforting, as well as a little green muppet with an afro and a bottle of Jack Daniels that kept muttering something about "Too late to begin your training."

    We didn't bother to listen to the old coot, however, and decided to crash in a beat up house off campus, and set up classes to begin our Jedi trainging.

    Well, everyone else did. So check it out. Me, however, I'd rather just play ping-pong for a while...

  12. Leda Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 1
    When suddenly!

    Without warning!

    Yakshishmariznaooble Gargamalliosis recognizes Réka!


    "YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE!" says Yakshishmariznaooble Gargamalliosis.

    Yak's second in command wakes up. "Huh?"

    Yak beams Réka aboard this ship & rushes off to his home world to show her to the council.

    Captain Lando is surprised. He shouts for the helmsman to follow! They'd stolen Réka!

    "Hurry up!" cries the second in command!

    But Réka isn't there to hear. : (

    Lando calls up Ender, saying,
    "Ender! Get up here! We have a communication problem."


    Ender wanders up and tries to explain to the captain that you can't communicate to people who aren't there...


    Meanwhile on Yak's homeworld, he, his second in command and Réka stand in the center of the Baker's council.

    "You think she is the chosen one?" asks Master Chef Wlkasjdoi.

    "No, I think she is the one who will bring balance to sweet and sour sauce!"

    "Tastes Great!" says Master A.

    "Less Filling!" says Master B.

    "Who wants less filling?" asks Réka in horrified shock.

    There is silence.

    "She is the nexus," says Adoy.

    "Trained she can not be," says Adoy II.

    "Like y'know strait" says Réka.

    "I take her as my apprentice baker," said Yak.

    Yak's second in command gets huffy.

    "Have a second in command you have already," said Adoy III.

    "He's ready to make a killer flaming jubilee all by himself!"

    "Ready for the trials?" asks Revorg.

    "Need judges we do!" said Revorg II.

    "Yummmmmy!" says Revorg III.

    "Excuse me, but did I see a bakery on the way in?" asks Réka.

    "Focus!" says Yak. "Living baker you are, keep your focus on the here and now."

    "He's all yours," says the former apprentice.

    "Why keep my focus on the here and now when there's a bakery downstairs needing care?" asks Réka.


    Meanwhile, across space, way way way across space, Ender spells it out to Rhui Chatar who pounds it into Lando: RÉKA can not operate the helms thing when she is the one missing! RC gives up, sets the course, engages, and the Shiny Peach follows the flour trail back to the Yak's home bakeworld...

    Cable guy meanwhile is poking random buttons at the consol. No one is quite sure what it does. Cable guy figures, he'll be the one to find out!

    Valeda Kor is down the hall teaching the walking fluff ball to play bridge.

    You never know when you'll need a good bridge partner.
  13. Disco Lando Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2000
    I see that despite my best efforts, the madness continues...

    Disco Lando would apologize for not having anything to add at the moment, but hopefully any readers have been so entertained by Leda's post that this statement will be justifiably overlooked.

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled silliness.
  14. Ender Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 1998
    star 6
    Hey, I just realized I do nothing but sit on my a$$ and press buttons and I get mentioned.
  15. Leda Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 1
    While outside the window of the door of the "Shiny Peach" someone is knocking.

    Sith Acolyte, who must be running a fever, does the polite thing, opens the door, only to be sucked out. The door slams behind him, the air lock spinning. The ship pressure rises and Renfield glares at the controls.


    "Doctor Kor? Doctor Kor?" he says into the communicator.

    "yes, that's how to complete the play!" says the voice of Dr. Kor to to the fluff monster she is teaching to play bridge, "What is it Renfield?"

    "I believe we have an anomaly."

    "Let me know if it looks like it will be fun."

    "Dr. Kor?!?"

    "Renfield, you have to do your job yourself."

    "Capt., it's like from the HMS Explosion."

    "They named a ship the "HMS Explosion"?" asked the Fluffball with that mouth full of mush accent.

    "Which came first, the disaster or the name?" responded Kor who has gone pale.

    "Vent all atmosphere!" she says into the communicator.

    "Good idea!" says Renfield. That would have solved the problem back on the HMS Explosion!

    "Let's go continue our game in a life raft?" Says Kor to her fluffy friend who agrees, and they hurry off in the loosening air to a little hideaway with atmosphere to breathe.


    MEANWHILE, incredibly! on the bridge the captain, first officer, communications guy, guy pressing buttons, knowledgeable sage figure, the engineer, and the profit planning financial manager are all falling asleep. But as the financial manager is pointing at graphs and talking about process and thinking beyond the box, that doesn't strike anyone as odd.

    On the communications system there is a distress call.

    "Capt., we have a distress call," says Dream.

    "Not now, It's my nap time..."

    "They say we're in distress," continues Dream with a yawn.

    "Do tell," says RC, staring at the ceiling.

    "Hey, do you deliver?" asks Cable guy into the communicator as Leda drones on and on.

    The USS USS's super computer takes charge of the Shiny Peach's computer, and stops the atmosphere venting.

    The bridge crowd isn't noticeably more enthused. Leda could probably bore even the fractured visages on the subject of resource management while the lone and level desert ran as far away as it could.

    On the screen shows a picture of what seems to be computer finger-painting.

    "Hey, nice finger painting" says Ender (opening the lines of communication).

    "Thank you," says the super computer. It drones on, "You are in my space. It is illegal to vent necessary atmosphere from a ship while in my space."

    "Uh, sorry, would you like our financial advisor's speech notes? We'd be glad to send them as a token of our great sorrow and wisdom learned through trouble?" asks Disco.

    "No, you would not suffer and remember," says the super computer.

    "I've got a great canoe you can have," says Rhui.

    "Already got one," says the super computer.

    "Would you like my abc gum?" asks Cable. Ender rolls his eyes.

    "Stop talking you measly fragile life forms! And send me your abaci!"

    "Abaci?" "Abaci?" "Someone brought "Abaci and isn't sharing them?" "I didn't see Abaci on the manifest..."

    "Why do you want our Abaci, Mr Super Computer? Are you really a super computer?" asks Disco.

    "Abaci! Abaci! plural of Abacus! I want your Abaci!"

    "oooohhhhh" says everyone. And then they stay puzzled.

    "Why?" asks Dream.

    "For your own good!" says the super computer.

    "OK" says the assembled people. Good is good.

    "But I get to throw in Leda's lecture notes!" adds Disco.

    "Hey!" says Leda, but the notes are gone.

    As the Shiny Peach proceeds apace, minus this weeks cash flow notes, Cable asks Rhui if "Abaci" is the correct plural for "Abacus." Rhui gives him one of those looks. "I've seen super computers. I've known super computers. That w
  16. Sith Acolyte Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 1999
    star 2
    Just as soon as I manage to recover from being sucked out.


    It's not as fun as one might assume.


    Bother, my briefs are all disordered...
  17. ValedaKor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 5
    Disco Lando overhears Dr. Val muttering to himself.

    "What is it with fluffballs playing Bridge?" Dr. Val wonders aloud, taking another slurp of coffee. "Damn, for some reason this stuff tastes better every day...what was I saying? Oh yeah. Fluffballs don't know the difference between Park Place and Atlantic Avenue! You can't teach 'em anything! I'm quitting."

    Disco Lando shakes his head sympathetically. He has noticed that the good doctor hasn't been himself lately, and in an effort to help, has put anti-psychotic drugs in the Doctor's coffee. Apparently the drugs have had no effect. He decides to visit with Cable and Rhui, who are still arguing over that Chinese thingy.

    However, Dr. Val decides it is time he and Disco Lando had a little chat, but first he has to get his axe that is good for chopping. As Dr. Val leaves the Bridge heading for Engineering and the tools cabinet the jolly notes of Neil Sedaka's "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" can be heard over the intercom.
  18. Leda Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 1
    When Disco turns around to Dr. Kor to ask him a question:

    "You know, I've been feeling tired recently, like there's no going forward, like there's no reward in life."

    "Uh huh," says Dr. Kor fingering the axe handle.

    "It's like - I work and work and work and work, and I just don't care anymore. I could sit and scream, and that wouldn't matter either.

    "Huh. I think that you are suffering. We've got surgery for that, you know," says the knowledgeable Dr. Kor.

    "I was thinking we might try something a bit less serious first... Do you know the rules for the bridge?"

    "Bridge rules? Sure. I've known them since I was a child. My parents taught me."

    "A bridge brat! bonus!" Disco hugs Dr. Kor. Dr. Kor lets it happen while thinking how much more cuddly Mr Fluff Monster is.

    "Let's switch!" says Disco.

    "Switch?" asks Dr. Kor.

    "You be Disco, I be Kor," says Disco.

    "If I were you, then I'd be making this suggestion and not you that I'd be you, but by that time it would be I being me?" says the still Korry Kor.

    "EXACTLY" says the still Discoing Disco. "And I'll spruce up the calisthenic program with some moves!" which he demonstrates.

    "But I brought illegal cloning equipment aboard. Not illegal body switching equipment. We're going to have to do this the old fashioned way."

    "Brain switch?"

    "Name tags."

    "OK!"

    Disco and Dr. Valeda Kor head down to sick bay, catching up each other on what will need to be done during a day...

    Renfield gets the supplies.

    Pens and sticky name tags. "HELLO my name is" emblazoned on each already...

    Kor & Disco face each other across a table. Steady. Determined. The air is charged with the moment. They share a serious stare, looking at who they will be. Steady hands take up the pens. As if mirror images of each other. It would be bad to shake now. They do the operation. Kor writes Kor. Disco writes Disco. Formally they trade stickers and the ship engines grind at the transfer of power and identity.

    Duly labeled, Dr. Kor heads to the bridge with her deck of cards. She's already invited Fluff to join her. This will be an excellent chance to practice against live opponents.

    Duly labeled, Disco stays in sick bay, rearranging the bottles, sending Rendfield off on meaningless tasks and hacking anything that won't hurt him back with the battle axe. He finds that he has great ideas for the next calisthenics broadcast...

    Valeda Kor meanwhile walks onto the bridge and shows everyone her name tag. "Ooooooo. Ahhhhhhh." says Lord Dream before returning to his struggles to keep the hackie sack in the air.

    "I'm here for bridge," says Dr. Kor.

    "Me Jane," concludes Lord Dream.

    "Get a partner, You will play Fluff and I presently and only one team shall be champion."

    "Oooo! a card game? I love card games! Is it slap Jack?" asks Leda.

    "You can slap the jacks, if you wish," says Kor.

    "YAY!" says Leda, wandering off the bridge in search of Jacks to slap.

    "Hurmphf. Put that in her personnel log," says Kor, and Dream dutifully notes "Leda, with permission of Dr. Kor, acting in place of Capt. Disco, wanders away from duty post looking for "Jacks" to slap."

    "Now find us a fourth for bridge!" says Kor, sitting down in the comfy chair and twirling about a few times.

    Wheeeeeeee!

    Leda asks Toshi Station if his name is Jack. It is not. Leda asks Rhui, cable, Renfield, one-fan if any of their names is Jack. They got the memo from Toshi and answer: no.

    Leda notices that Sith A is missing, climbs up into alternate engineering and sets course for the birdie world where Sith A is hearing the case of the birds v. the dragonflies...


    But it's time for calisthenics aboard [
  19. Rhui Chatar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 1999
    star 3
    < Rhui is busy adjusting her name tag after deciding that being herself was confusing enough for her so ought to be good enough for everyone else too. She looks up to see a fax has arrived and as no one is looking, she helps herself to the contents there in.>

    1 of 2 pages Coruscant Crier, for immediate release.

    new title of next movie announced
    meets with much groaning and dissappointment

    some quotes from persons of consequence:

    Obi-Wan: "I should have listen to Uncle Dennis.

    Qui-Gon Jinn: "Am I glad I bought it in the first movie. May have got stuck with a saber but I dodged this bullet!"

    Ric Ole: "Haha hahaha...hahahaahhahahahhh"

    Jar Jar: "What's a clown?"

    R2D2: "Beep purrrr phhhuuuutttt. Blek"

    C3PO: "Couldn't it have been The 'Clones Attack'? Couldn't that have been worded differently?"

    Chanecellor Palptine: "Just as I had foreseen. George will become my ally before the third movie."

    Jabba the Hutt: <shrugs> (you have to be there)

    Yoda: <shakes head> "So much better it could have been if thought a little harder did Flanneled One. Dark day this is."


    <Rhui doesn't bother to finish reading and runs off in a panic to find Captain Lando- make that Dr.Val- ....>

    RC:Quick! Stop the ship! Stop! The bakery! The bakery! It's a trap...

    LD:What's she on about now?

    DL: <dr.Val> Must be something to do with them using palm oil instead of butter. I wouldn't worry about it.

    RC: Noooooooo! The scones are going to attack!!

    <Dream and Dr.Val... ah Disco look at each other in confusion.>

    LD and DL: What?
  20. Rhui Chatar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 1999
    star 3
    RC: Hey are we rebels or separatists?

    LD: I don't know. What the difference?

    RC: Separatists are charismatic. Rebel are.... well, just contrary.

    LD: Hmmm. Good point. I guess we'll have to ask the captain.
  21. Padmewan McGregor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 1999
    star 3
    Suddenly, a wormhole opens up, spitting out a disheveled padawan of dubious gender.

    PMG: My, what an interesting place this is...
    (Suddenly notices the crew of the Shiny Peach staring).
    PMG: Oh, ah... never mind me. Just wanted to make sure that I still exist, that's all. Be on my way now, yes?

    * poof *
  22. Disco Lando Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2000
    I believe that we are separatists. But seperatist just sounds dorky. I leave it upon the crew of the Peach to create an altogether NEW word representing our position on the scheme of things!

    *flying scone barely misses Dr. Lando and instead hits the wall with a dry THUCK

    Attack! It's the Attack of the Scones!!!! Run for yer lives!!!!!!!

    Oh, hey, Padmewan. Whatsup.

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
  23. ValedaKor Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 25, 2000
    star 5
    Hello! This is Preston Weeze from HoloNet Central, beaming you tonight's edition of "Survivor XXXXCMMMMVVVVVIVVVVVII: Life aboard the Shiny Peach, Day 207"

    You'll recall in last week's chapter viewers were treated to a demonstration of the amazing new exercise program that's sweeping the galaxy. Designed by the ship's medical officer, Dr. Val, it's guaranteed to tone your body, reduce your cholesterol and attract alien beings, all at the same time.

    We've been lucky enough to secure an interview with this amazing inventor. Dr. Val, Dr. Val, are you with us?

    (Camera shifts to the interior of the Shiny Peach. Dr. Val is ensconced in a steaming hot tub, sipping an exotic blue colored beverage. Around the edges of the tub Giant Puff Balls sit quietly, occasionally vibrating and making soft mewing noises. Dr. Val is idly petting the closest one.

    Interviewer's voice: Dr. Val, can you hear me?

    Dr. Val: Righto, Preston.

    Interviewer: Tell us your amazing success story.

    Dr. Val: It's simple, really...

    (In the background Rhui and Leda can be seen tossing a Rubik's Cube back and forth. Empty bakery boxes surround them. Captain Disco is reclining in a lounge chair, having his toenails painted by Dream. He raises a glass and salutes the good doctor. Dr. Val acknowledges that with a languid wave and continues).

    Dr. Val: When I was just a lad on Tattooine, my mother and father decided--

    Interviewer: Uh, sorry, Doctor. This is only a five minute spot.

    Dr. Val (grumpily): Hmmmpf, very well. My compatriots aboard the Shiny Peach (he indicates the group behind him) have honored me by copying my exercise movements. (The good doctor picks up a Giant Puff Ball and wipes away a tear). I (sniff) can't tell you how much (sniff) all this means to me....(sniff sniff).

    Interviewer: So you'd recommend this program to anyone?

    Dr. Val: Absolutely! The entire program is available on my website -- for a modest fee of a million Republic credits, just to cover expenses, you understand.

    Interviewer: Of course. What's the website address?

    Dr. Val: It's www.puffyluv.com.

    Interviewer: I'm sure our viewers will be very interested. Thank you for your time, Dr. Val.

    Dr. Val: Not at all, not at all. Service to the community, that's what I'm all about.

    (Toshi Station entires the picture, bringing him another drink. Both of them beam into the camera. Behind them, we see Yakshishmariznaooble Gargamalliosis appear in the room, race over to grab the Rubik's Cube from Leda and disappear off camera. Rhui and Leda stare at each other for a moment, and then they both start after him...it. Toshi looks behind him, alerted to the sudden noise. He looks around, doesn't see anybody, and stares into the camera again. Suddenly he raises a hand and waves it frantically.)

    Toshi: Hi, Mom!

    (Dr. Val picks up a Giant Puff Ball and throws it at him. He doubles over.)
  24. Vertical Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 1999
    star 6
    Is the Rebellion still alive? I thought Seyrah killed it?

    Vertical
  25. Disco Lando Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2000
    Well... durnit... we're rebelling against... not being able to rebel... yeah.
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