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Saga The Anakin Skywalker Diaries, Part 3, Naboo...IMPROVED AND REPOSTED

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by anakin_girl, Mar 18, 2003.

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  1. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    This is part 3 of my AU Anakin fic. This part has a little more action and political intrigue than the other two have had, but it also has the romance, and of course, humor. All disclaimers from the other two parts apply. This picks up where The Anakin Skywalker Diaries, Part 2, Tatooine leaves off.

    *****

    The flight to Naboo was only one day long. Naboo and Tatooine were fairly close together. The Force had placed them that way, so that when the hyperdrive on Padme's ship was damaged by the Trade Federation eight years ago, she was forced to land on my home planet, and come into the shop where I was working to look for parts.

    These were the things I thought about now as I lay with my head resting in her lap, her fingers running through my hair. She was watching the holonews from Naboo. Nothing unusual going on, thankfully--just a mention of the senatorial procedures we're going to be observing. I've had enough drama the past few days.

    I didn't know when I'd see Mom again, and such is the life of a Jedi, I knew. Didn't keep me from missing her though. Such was the Council's reason for bringing only infants to the Temple, and initially rejecting me as being "too old." No family attachments, in their minds, means no pain. What they don't realize is, that also means no love. And love makes the pain worthwhile.

    They had sayings like, "There is no emotion; there is peace." Sounds really good--who wouldn't like to be peaceful all the time--but not exactly practical. The Jedi Order gives the best training in the galaxy in remaining calm and in control, but we're still human.

    Thank the Force for Obi-Wan. At least he understood.

    I felt his presence in the room before I felt his hand on my shoulder, and realized that I was dozing off.

    "Are you alright, Padawan?" he asked.

    I opened my eyes and nodded. "Yeah," I said.

    He squeezed my shoulder. "We'll contact her as soon as we land. It's going to be different from now on, Ani. You can contact her anytime you want."

    "What about the Council?"

    "The Council aren't the ogres you make them out to be, Anakin."

    "Sure," I muttered.

    "Really, Anakin," he said.

    "Alright," I said, "sorry, Master. But seriously, you know they're not going to want me to contact her. 'Interfere with your training, it would,'" I said, doing my best Master Yoda impression, which got a smile out of Obi-Wan. "If there were any trees on Coruscant, I'm sure the Council could come up with some reason why using indoor toilets interferes with training."

    Padme laughed.

    "Anakin," Obi-Wan said again, with a half-smile, half-sigh. "Anyway, what the Council doesn't know, won't hurt them. I'm ultimately the one who decides whether or not keeping up with your mother interferes with your training. And I personally think it will be good for you." He squeezed my shoulder. "So don't worry about it, OK?"

    I nodded. "Thanks, Obi-Wan," I said.

    He left, and I closed my eyes again.

    *****

    Yawn. Fidget. Fumble with the attachments on my utility belt again. Imagine the Jedi Council members in their underwear.

    Damn. Could this senatorial session drone on any longer?

    I focused my gaze on Padme, and began undressing her, inch by inch, starting with her headpiece, to the neckline of her dress, to her shoulders...

    To the Dug standing behind her. A Dug, a creature with eight hands--and he was holding a blaster in every one of them. And pointing them all at her head. And she was oblivious, still standing straight ahead, listening to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine's polysyllabic monotone drabble.

    The Dug squeezed the triggers on all eight blasters at once...

    "Nooooo!"


    "Anakin!" Padme was shaking me. "Anakin, honey, what happened?"

    That's when I realized I had screamed aloud.

    My head was still on her lap. I turned to look up at her, and gripped one of her hands, which had been squeezing my shoulders.

    "Nothing," I said, "just a bad dream." I was drenche
     
  2. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Hee hee -- I love Sabe's ice trick.
     
  3. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    Just try not to moon anyone this time.
    That's no moon! That's...

    LOL. [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    "SKYWALKER!" she screamed. "Just wait until later! Your ass is MINE!"
    Something in the back of my mind wants this to be the final line of Episode III -- delivered by Palpy/Sidious to Anakin/Vader. [face_devil] Not expecting it, though. :p

    This fic just keeps getting funnier and funnier. I don't know how you do it. Can't wait for more!!




    p.s. Ice? Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow. Next time put up a disclaimer: Side Effects May Include Severe Male Cringing.

    :p [face_laugh]
     
  4. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    "Skywalker Morgue. You slash 'em, we stash 'em."

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That's still one of my favorite lines in the entire series. :D
     
  5. Jedi_Mastre_Kris

    Jedi_Mastre_Kris Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2002
    [face_laugh]
    "SKYWALKER!" she screamed. "Just wait until later! Your ass is MINE!"

    this is one of the best humor threads yet!!

    lol, Lex- "that's no moon, it's..."

    I hope you keep this up, AG!!! expect me to become a loyal reader :D


    UP!!
     
  6. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    Kris, Suzuran, Lex, Dally: Thanks. :)

    Here's more:

    *****

    Padme and I made it downstairs half an hour later. Sabe and Obi-Wan were in the dining room; Obi-Wan munching calmly on his eggs and toast, listening with an amused look on his face as Sabe chatted away, while giving my Master her best flirtacious smile and batting her eyelashes.

    Not bad, Sabe, I thought. He's not quite as boring as Bail Organa, and maybe you could liven him up a little bit. I've been trying to do that for years.

    They both looked up as Padme and I walked in. Sabe shot me a mischievous victory grin, and I narrowed my eyes.

    "Did I miss something?" Obi-Wan asked, taking a sip of his caf.

    Sabe leaned down and whispered in his ear, causing him to burst into laughter, spitting out his caf. He grabbed a napkin and wiped his mouth off, still laughing. "You did what? Are you that worried about my Padawan's propensity to reproduce? Or are you just crazy? I'm surprised you're still standing up right now. I thought he would have beat you for that one."

    I closed my eyes and counted to ten backwards in Huttese. I could feel my face turning red.

    "Master," I said, "you wouldn't have thought it was funny if I had done that to a member of the Council."

    He laughed again. "Actually, Padawan, yes, I would have. It just wouldn't have been as funny, because this time it's Sabe beating you at your own game."

    Sabe shot me another evil grin, and I swore in Huttese. "Dammit, woman, I'm going to put Nair in your shampoo. Or maybe I should switch out your PMS medicine with hair growth hormones."

    She got a mock-horrified look on her face at that one. "Skywalker, you don't want to know what I'll do to you if you do that." She laughed again, and wiped her eyes where they were watering. "I'm sorry, Ani," she said, "but you know you deserved it."

    Padme looked at both of us sternly. "As I told you two in the room, this needs to end here," she said. "Otherwise we'll have a new Galactic War on our hands and will have to give the Supreme Chancellor emergency powers just to get you two to shut the hell up, because neither of you will ever quit."

    Obi-Wan nodded and took another bite of his eggs. "As a representative of the Jedi Order in this matter, I concur with the esteemed Senator from Naboo," he said.

    They laughed, and Sabe crossed the room and grabbed my arm. "Alright, Skywalker," she said. "Do you think we could call a truce long enough for me to show you something? It's in the next room."

    "In a room alone with you? Do I need to wear a crotch protector?" I asked.

    Padme smiled and kissed my cheek. "Ani, if she does anything else to your crotch, I'll take care of her myself. I know her handwriting pretty well, and I'm pretty sure I could work up some rather intimate love letters from her to the Supreme Chancellor..." She winked.

    Sabe jumped. "Don't you dare!" she said, horrified. "I'll be good, I promise. We're just going over here."

    She dragged me down the hall into one of the guest bedrooms and shut the door.

    "Just wanted your help on something," she said, "something I dug up from an old stash of things I had."

    She opened a desk drawer and pulled out a fake turd. A very real-looking fake turd.

    I made a face. "Sabe, if that thing smelled, I'd swear it was real. Where did you get it?"

    "You think it doesn't smell?" She pressed on it.

    "UGH! Sabe! Holy mother of the Force! Where did you get that? A Dug or a Hutt?"

    She laughed. "Actually, a joke store in a village in the Mountain Country. You should go there sometime--you'd love it. It's right up your alley." She stopped pressing on it and the smell dissipated. "Anyway," she said. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to be bored if I have to sit through five hours of mundane senatorial presentations. I thought things might get a little more entertaining if we could slip this onto Palpatine's chair, when he isn't looking. Then when he sits on it, we have the smell--and his guards will think he crapped in his pants."

    I smiled. "Y
     
  7. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    I think Palpatine must have a bladder the size of Coruscant.
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] At least she said "bladder"... :p

    And his aides actually believed that he would crap in his pants in the middle of a Senate meeting.
    ROTFLMAO!!! Where do you get these ideas?!?!? [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    "Can I assume, then," he said, "that you are not using any Jedi mind tricks on my daughter?"
    :eek: [face_devil] Very nice.

    Once again I'm in pain here. This is so funny I can't even read it in one sitting. Keep up the great work!! :D :D :D
     
  8. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2001
    That is so beautiful. I derive an immense amount of satisfaction by reading about Palpatine's embarrassment. And Ani squirming under Ruwee's questions is good too!
     
  9. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    Lex and Dally: Thanks! :)

    Here's more:

    *****

    A couple of hours later I was unpacking my things in one of the large guest rooms in the Naberrie home. Obi-Wan and Sabe occupied the other two. Padme had thrown her things down in her room, to be unpacked later, and had come in to join me.

    She was sitting on the bed, watching me put clothes into the closet.

    "Anakin, how do you get so much stuff into such a small bag? The Force?" she asked.

    I laughed. "No. I wish it were that easy." I hung up one more pair of pants, shut the closet door, and turned to look at her. "For one thing," I said, "I'm a man. I don't own 200 different pairs of shoes. I also don't have to change clothes ten times a day. Not to mention the fact that shaving cream and a razor don't take up much room. Can't say that for all that expensive heavy stuff you girls carry around for your faces. Hell, you need two separate packs just for that."

    Padme laughed, and nodded.

    "For another thing," I said. "I'm a Jedi. I only wear pants and tunics, and I own them in two colors, dark brown and light brown. I also went to the Obi-Wan Kenobi School of Packing for Missions, which requires passing a course in How to Travel in a Starship the Size of Master Yoda's Pillow."

    She waved her hand, still laughing. "Alright, alright, I get it."

    I crossed the room, knelt in front of her, and took her hands, stroking her fingers with my thumb. "So, baby, are you glad to be home?"

    She smiled and nodded, sighing happily. "Oh, Ani, you have no idea."

    "I can tell," I said. I got off my knees and sat beside her on the bed, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her passionately.

    "Dinnertime everyone!" Jobal's voice came up the stairs at about the time her daughter's hands were moving to loosen my utility belt.

    Padme whispered, "We'll finish this later," and kissed me one last time before standing up, going to the door, and opening it.

    I didn't follow immediately. I sat on the bed a few moments longer, wondering why I could podrace against Dugs, fly an unknown cruiser into a space station full of battle droids, and defeat trained Jedi Masters in practice lightsaber duels, but the idea of dinner with my girlfriend's family made me feel like I was facing my trials for Knighthood.

    She stopped and looked at me. "Anakin?"

    "I'm coming," I said, "just a little bit nervous, that's all."

    She laughed and reached out her hand. "Come on, Ani. You met my parents. They don't bite."

    I nodded, stood up and walked to the door, managing a nervous laugh. "I know. But how am I going to impress your father? I can't exactly do my imitation of Master Yoda trying to pick up women. I don't think Force-enhanced armpit noises are going to work either."

    "Not at dinnertime, Padawan." That was Obi-Wan, in the hallway, with Sabe on his arm. He winked at me. "Relax," he said. "Where's my apprentice who was going to see every star system and combat every evil? You'll be fine."

    Well, when I was nine, I didn't know I was going to fall in love, or that I was going to have to convince one star system named Ruwee Naberrie that I was worthy of his youngest daughter.

    Padme tiptoed and kissed me. "I'll tell you something," she said, in a low voice. "both of us have brought home boyfriends to meet Daddy. He always takes them through the initial question-and-answer, and if you don't faint or throw up, you pass. Most of them don't know that. After that it's smooth sailing. He's only ended up hating one man that one of us brought home. Ryoo's father."

    Who left Sola when she was six months pregnant. OK, understandable. I didn't like the man either, and I had never met him.

    I sighed, feeling somewhat better. Padme took my hand and squeezed it. "So just be yourself, OK? Relax."

    "Please," Obi-Wan said. "Before I have to come up with some kind of trouble for you to get into so I can have my old Padawan back."

    Well, whatever Jobal was cooking smelled heavenly. We walked downstairs.


    Several minutes later we were dining o
     
  10. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    What a boring post! Nothing happens at all. :p [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Anakin's little chopping-fest on Palpy was scary, but it sounds like they saved Anakin from the dark side. :eek:

    I'm glad Padme's going to be okay. And she's been nominated for Chancellor? Cool. Why do I get the feeling Organa has a prank coming to him while he's competing against her? ;)

    The engagement was very sweet. And everybody got to be there -- quite the opposite of the real saga. :_| :_|

    Can't wait for more! :D :D
     
  11. darla101

    darla101 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2003
    *sigh* I love this fic...it just cheers me up so much...
     
  12. Seraph-Skywalker

    Seraph-Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 5, 2002
    I agree completely, darla! This story can take my mind off of all the angsty A/A fics out there. Great job, AG!

    Seraph 8-}
     
  13. Monica_Skywalker

    Monica_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2002
    I finished reading this over my vacation, and it was absolutely fantastic!! :D

    I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm crazy now, due to the amount of times I burst out laughing in our car. :p I love this story! :)
     
  14. Jedi_Mastre_Kris

    Jedi_Mastre_Kris Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2002
    Ooh! Anakin_Girl!! If I reposted all the parts I absolutely loved, I'd be reposting the whole story!! I loved the pranks-- they're so classic and freakin HILARIOUS! [face_laugh] The Palpie-dying was quite satisfying [face_mischief] and the proposal, and everything was just brilliant!!

    this is how I'm feeling right now: :D [face_laugh] :p [face_love] :_| [face_laugh] [face_devil] [face_mischief] [face_laugh]
    I swear this is the best series since the Vader Monologues :)

    I hope to read more, AG!
     
  15. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    Awww...you guys are great! :)

    Lex:

    What a boring post! Nothing happens at all.

    *raspberry* ;)

    Why do I get the feeling Organa has a prank coming to him while he's competing against her?

    :D

    Thanks as always. :)

    darla and Seraph: Thanks! That was the idea! :)

    Monica: Thanks! And there will be more for you to read!

    Kris: Thanks! And yes, I wrote this the way I wish the GFFA universe would come out--I'm obviously more into happy endings than GL is. :p
     
  16. Master_Comedy_Kitty

    Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2002
    A_G, i really love this fic. Very funny and I'm so happy Anakin didn't turn. I love your Anakin AND Padme in this fic too. ANd believe me, it's rare for me to like Padme. :p

    -MCK

    BTW, would it be too much to for some Obi Angst? :p
     
  17. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    M_C_K: Good to see you here! :) And thanks!

    Obi-angst? Well, put it this way...I've got a plot mapped out pretty well, and you may get some Obi-torture and angst. ;) (I need to do some kind of psychoanalysis on why we fanfic writers always want to torture our favorite characters...I've spent practically this entire story torturing poor Ani... :p ) So stay tuned! And thanks again for coming by!
     
  18. Mrs_Padme_Skywalker

    Mrs_Padme_Skywalker Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2002
    I love this fic so much. It's verry funny!
    I wish everybody wrote fics as funny as yours.
    I can't wait till part 4!

    .::Padme::.
     
  19. rouge-reblekid

    rouge-reblekid Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 17, 2001
    bored Part 4 please!
     
  20. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    anakin's chopping fest was a bit scary. Loved his little dream about his future twins. Looking forward to part 4.
     
  21. Agent_Jaid

    Agent_Jaid Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 21, 2003
    Need to find this again.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    :D

     
  22. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2002
    Giving this a freidly little bumpity bump....
     
  23. KSA

    KSA Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Apr 13, 2003
    Just a thinking that this is truly awesome!

    My favorite bit was the dream with Luke and Leia. I don't know why but,

    GIVE ME MORE OF THOSE KIDS, DAMN IT ALL!

    I love that dream bit.

    I know nobody reads this anymore, but I had to say it!

    GIVE ME MORE KIDS DAMN IT ALL!

    GIVE THEM TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  24. Fate

    Fate Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2003
    I loved this, a_g. [face_love] [face_laugh] [face_mischief] :p :cool:

    Palpy's dead, Ani and Padmé are engaged... all is right in the world. [face_mischief]

    Off I go to Part 4. ;)
     
  25. darththunderbird

    darththunderbird Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2003
    this fanfic goes exactly the way i wish starwars went...the plot..well,, its perfect..seriously. its the ideal starwars...all i can say is wow. great job
     
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