JCC The Apple Workers RPG thread (signups at p.11)

#FireNigel

 

Interfering with the mail or a mail worker in the performance of their duties is a federal offense.

 

You're not a USPS employee, you're an Apple employee, unless you're in the wrong RPG thread.

 

I don't tell you how to service customers, don't tell me how to deliver mail.

 

//hastily conveys a project meeting so he doesn't have to deal with the thing in the mailroom

 

Geez, whats with all this mail room drama? Chill y'all.

Don't make me get Nigel.

 

... i drive the bus

 

*Impersonates Kiki*

I am promoting Nigel for exemplary service.

 

Thank you for your email.

I am out of the office today on annual leave and will not return until 27 April 2016.

If your query is urgent, please contact my assistant Bernardo.

Sincerely yours,

Nigel Whippingbottom

 

*drives bus*

 

*hacks into intranet from Indonesia and copies nearly 30,000 emails*

 

*readies homemade spike strip*

 

*Waits for the bus*

 

**Sits in a board meeting. Everytime someone says the word "stakeholder," imagines Van Helsing killing Dracula.**

 

*whistles and waves at man with spike strip as self-healing tires do their job*

 

That's some Terminator 2 **** right there.

 

*apple symbol brake lights blink twice as I pull up to the stoplight down the block*

 

*words between asterisks*

 

*cranes neck around towards back of the bus*

Excuse me, si-

*THUMP* *SCREEEE*

SUKA!

 

OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD

 

*doesn't read what has been posted since last posting, posts anyway*

 

*coffee is over*

"Ah well, I think its back to the coal mines."

*programs backdoor into Project Rodent*

"I hope I have time for that memorandum!"

 

Moves shiftily in chair and eyeballs current customers

 

*has been hiding in bathroom stall on phone for three hours*

 

Bernardo! I'm having a problem with Grink in the mailroom, Nigel told me to speak to you about it.