The Art of Obi-Torture (And How to Get it Right!) [humor] Lesson 5 up 9/8

No, no, no, Jane, you got to use stronger methods. (Holds up a roll of duct tape) All I have to do is pull..........

 

Oh my gosh!! This the funniest post ever! You obviously know obi-torture to an art, and I hope to read some of your stories. In the meanwhile, add on to this! I almost peed my pants when I read it!

 

ROFLOL!
This is really funny Tahiri!
Can't wait for the next "lesson."

 

5 days and not UPed? The travesty!

 

LESSON #3: Mental Torture

Of the two types of torture that I am going to teach you about in this series, is mental torture. There are many ways to accomplish this sort of torture. Here is a list of possible sources:

~ Qui-Gon himself! Great type of torture, you've got right there.

~ An Evil Villain that's torturing Obi-Wan.

~ Someone out for revenge. Anyone. Doesn't matter who. Pick a random, funky-sounding name. It'll be sufficient.

~ Poor little Obi-Wan could be torturing himself!

~ Ah, don't forget those spice addictions and random medicines with really bad side-effects that Obi-Wan may get his hands on! Mess with your mind, drugs do.

~ Maybe someone who finds that Obi-Wan would make a good slave.

Point being; make sure that you have a character that's mean and angry. Qui-Gon can be mean and angry. I've read many good fan fics that have a mean and angry Qui-Gon, and it usually tends to be the best type of mental torture of Obi-Wan. A factor called angst plays a major part of this, a topic which will be discussed in a later lesson.

Good villains play a large part in the role of the torture that will proceed, and this will also be discussed in further depth in a later lesson. The most important thing, though, is to give your villains a good and plausible reason to want to torture Obi-Wan. Note, it being fun to torture Obi-Wan just doesn't cut it. It's been done. Give your villain a vengeful, intense reason to want to torture Obi-Wan. BASK in it. Here are some examples:

~~~~

Bad Mental Torture:

Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan. "You're stupid."

Obi-Wan burst out crying. "You hate me! Waaaaaah!"

Qui-Gon nodded gruffly. "That's right, I hate you. I hate you a lot. You're no better than Xanatos!"

Obi-Wan was crying so hard that his breaths were labored. "Y-You are just a big jerk!"

Qui-Gon nodded again. "That's right, I'm a big jerk that hates you. A really big jerk that hates you a lot. You're not only no better than Xanatos, you're downright unworthy of being my apprentice!"

Qui-Gon stomped out of the room, leaving Obi-Wan to contemplate the words passed between them.

~~~~

Good Mental Torture:

Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan, glaring at his apprentice, trying to decide what to say first. There were so many things that had gone wrong. "You deliberately made that decision without consulting me. It may have turned out for the better, but you have no authority over my say. Never disagree with me again."

Obi-Wan tried to keep a straight face, to reply calmly; but his Jedi training was lost in the torrent of anger building in him. "You weren't saying anything!"

Qui-Gon nodded gruffly, but his eyes were still as cold as the ice-planet Hoth. "That's right, but you were to consult with me before saying anything."

Obi-Wan shook his head disbelievingly. "You're being unreasonable!"

Qui-Gon's gaze became impossibly colder. "And you are overstepping your boundaries, Padawan!"

With that, he turned and swept out of the room, leaving Obi-Wan speechless and frustrated, and with nothing to think of but the cutting remarks exchanged that night.

~~~~

So, which example do you think is the better one? Of course it's the second, the one titled "Good Example." Let's look at why: it has a lot more depth to it. It's a lot more believable (not to mention, in character, which is discussed further in a later lesson) and will give your readers something more to focus on. People will always want to read about someone else having a really bad relationship with someone else, so no matter what, you need to make Obi-Wan's relations with whichever villain you use be very horrible, because that's what people with bad relationships with others will want to read about, since no matter how bad they have it, they all know that Obi-Wan's got it worse.

Is everyone practicing their BASKing? I'd hope so! BASKing is one of the most elementary parts of the art of Obi-Torture, and unless you get it right, Obi-Torture is indeed a very hard thing

 

Excellent examples: the education is just brilliant.

 

I had to give up the BASKing because I was that close to becoming a BASKet case. Just kidding! This is all very interesting, but I can't wait to see what ideas you come up with for the physical torture part.

 

LOL any funky sounding name! 7

 

This has been extended into 17 lessons instead of a total of 12 now. As I was writing that lesson I just kept getting more ideas.

[wise voice] Indeed, the art of Obi-Torture is a long and dangerous path. We will master it. [/wise voice]

 

Beautiful, Tahiri! I'm glad we get to have additional lessons. They're very...informational.

 

Yeah Tahiri! LOL Write as many lessons as your demented--er, brilliant mind desires!

 

hah! i love this
i'm never going to use this information because i don't wright fanfics but it's great

 

since no matter how bad they have it, they all know that Obi-Wan's got it worse. LOL, I love that!

 

Next post coming on Friday -- from the other side of the planet from where I usually am! I have a 15 hour trip to Turkey and that's a lot of time on my hands. So -- that means more Obi-Torture

Gosh, this whole thing got kind of out of hand Oh well. It's fun. In a demented sort of way.

Thanks for the feedback!

 

Up!

Just wondering when we could expect the next lesson Tahiri!

--Marie K.

 

FORWARD this!

 

FORWARDY!

 

I'm so upping this.... How could people have forgotten this hilarious little thread? (Makes sad puppy face.) I love this one and I want more of it!

 

*pulls out notebook and begins to write notes.*

This is all very useful..can you teach me how to BASK? I so very confused! *hides in embarassment* BTW, this is too great. Must learn how to torture the sexy-full Obi...teach me oh great one.

 

Very Funny!!! I like this alot. BASK! BASK!
And I have a question for all: Does anyone imagine the authors as the people that there icons are? I do.

 

I'm upping this again because I hate to see this poor hilarious little thread get all neglected. And no, Angel Jedi Master, I don't do that much HERE but on some other forums I do. I don't know why......
Anyway I really hope Tahiri will continue this some day!

 

Is everyone practicing their BASKing? I'd hope so! BASKing is one of the most elementary parts of the art of Obi-Torture, and unless you get it right, Obi-Torture is indeed a very hard thing to manage! Keep practicing, if you want to become a master of the art (like me).

YUP! BASKing away, right here, just sitting here BASKing... of course another lesson would be good too, oh great and wise Master

CK
AKA: Small frog.

 

What happened to "writing the rest if we like it?" We DO like it, so what happened to writing the rest, period?

 

dude, this should be PUBLISHED!
moremoremore!!

 

I'm upping this in order to express my desire for the author to continue this fic.....