The Bashers' Sanctuary Strikes Back

It is a dark time for the Sanctuary. Snowboards has destroyed all 5500 (or so) of our posts.

Evading the temptation to despair, a group of bashers led by Binary Sunset has established a new base on TPM board.

The evil Snowboards, obsessed with freeing up server space, has devastated sites all through cyberspace...


If you are disappointed with TPM (or even with other parts of the SW saga), this is the place to post your frustrations. Everything's welcome here: long-winded dissertations, short gripes, humorous jabs, or just the need to put your feet up and commiserate with fellow bashers who understand what's happened to the saga.

Well, there is one thing not welcome here: gushing. There's plenty of threads for that, so if you want to talk about how great TPM is, move along to those threads. Gushing in here is decidedly "off-topic".

 

"Mein Gott in Himmel," thought Quix, as he surveyed the barren wasteland where once stood the mighty stronghold, the Elysium within walls, the Sanctuary. Gone in an instant, the victim of capricious and arbitrary Fate.

Waiting for the remaining chief Consigliere to check in, he walked calmly over to Binary.

"We will have to begin anew. There must always be a safe haven for those who wish to express disappointment. Solidnarsc, brother Binary."

Quix removed a scroll from inside his cloak, a partial list of the problems many felt in The Phantom Menace.

"These must never be forgotten. The molasses pacing of the Tatooine sequence. The excessive characterizations of some characters, and the wooden characterization of others. Plot holes, bad plot devices, deus ex machina endings, obvious CGI, cartoonish characters, cringe-worthy dialogue, no chemistry between the actors, the creepy relationship between Anakin and Padme, scat humor... These must never be forgotten."

 

Bravo, Quix! Now, alas, I must go to bed. Welcome, all, who might post while I sleep!

 

*observes moment of silence for old thread*

I would have something appropriate for the moment, but I have nothing.

*sigh*

 

Quix walked away from Binary and Daughter, towards a shady glen that had housed the last remnants of the Phantom Edit discussion, a victorious thread by a True Jedi created when at long last he possessed a version of the film that many found much more enjoyable than the theatrical release.

The glen was no more, the once mighty woods laid to waste - a victim of the same blight that had struck down the Sanctuary. The Edit Defense Force had been struck first, slain under dubious circumstances, though destined to be reborn. Now its cousin shared its fate. Discussions of literary theory, film criticism, psychology, mythology - gone in an instant.

He shook his head and returned to the others, seedlings in hand. The discussion of the Edits would be rebuilt. They, too, would return...

 

Well, my friends. I was there from the beggining. I remember thinking the sanctuary wouldn't last. I thought it was too great a temptation for Go-Mer-Tonic and TPMRules23 to resist. The first few pages started off shakily but, as intelligent Bashers from near and far continued their quest, the sanctuary became a place, the place, where new members and old members alike could post without judgement and hatred. We made this place great and we will make this new home greater!

*Cheers and Whistles*


Ok, now let's stop all this nonsense and get back to our roots! We don't have to write up all the things we have previously written. If anything, the old basher sanctuary was a first rough draft. We had our ideas about what made TPM, S.E.s and ROTJ flawed. NOW we can accurately get to the heart of the matter. This is the ultimate "basher santuary". We are stronger and have greater skills of critism.

 

Jar Jar Binks

No doubt the main focus of basher attention. Recently a member summed up nicely about Jar Jar being the symbolic representation of all that is bad with TPM. He portrays overuse of CGI at the hands of indulgence. KISS: as Stryphe put it, "Keep it simple stupid". That is spot on. Jar Jar represents the poorly constructed humour aiming at slapstick stupidity and childish attention spans. He represents poor character development. Sure he is made a general but he continues to be clumsy, stupid, cowardly and annoying just like Obi-Wan was only required to slice Maul in half at the end.

More later on bashing my friends. Remember, don't mourn the sanctuary. Celebrate the new sanctuary!

 

** Falls to his knees and breakdowns **

[image=http://www.filmmonthly.com/Video/Articles/BeneathPlanet/bn28.jpg]

We finally, really did it. YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! Ahhh, DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!"

This is a dark day. It's at times like these that it's only proper to find someone to place the blame on. Thats right we need a scapegoat. Let's blame the last person to post in the Sanctuary, it's all their fault.

-----signature-----
"Rabid Balding Ewok, you make me sick.
If there was an enemies list, you'd be on mine."


:::*::(^^) :(^^) :::::::
::::::/::::^^:::::\ ::*::
:::::/###-^^-##I :::::
: *:.l##/(*)# (*)\\:::::
:::/##(###.00#)#I ::::
::(___/#*#(XXX)/__) ::
::/000{{{{www}}}}\:: Ewoks Will Eat You!

 

Thank you Binary_Sunset,

I was terrified when I find out that my beloved Bashers' Sanctuary had suddened disappeared. Although I'm heartbroken that many a lengendary post has been lost. I'm glad that you've given birth to a new one. Long live the bashers' sanctuary and godspeed to all TPM bashers everywhere.

 

Come now RBE. Think of the children. If we don't hold together, who will they look to?


And now a word from another devoted basher. This comment featured in my signature for almost a year. It was fitting then and even moreso now. After all, we were too comfortable and now we are at our best: starving and hungry (now that I think about it, there is no need for both adjectives )


"George in '77 was a starving, hungry, penniless and childless director. Now he's a wealthy, content and very PC father."
- Bud Frescoe

 

WHAT HAPPENED??!!

Man, I went away for a few days and felt a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I feared something terrible had happenend - I was right!

I too was there from the very start, the rewritings and the serving of blue milk etc. But it is symbolic with the saga as the first home for those brave enough to cast a critical eye over their beloved SW was very much the beacon of A NEW HOPE, that with the event of a new SW film on the horizon that our EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!

All those who contibuted to that which was; shall unite behind the visionary known as Binary Sunset (Blessed is he) as he once again forges a Home - a Shrine, a Pantheon for all to converse, debate, analyize, devise and create! - Long may it live!

Welcome home brothers!

 

Damn it! Look at the rules. No gushing, even if its over the beauty of this new sanctuary. Only bashing! BASH BASH BASH! Me like bashing.

How bout some of these:

Hey look at me, I'm padme! No wait, I'm the queen! Now I'm a servant again! What a clever trick, I'll just do it again and again! I'm not a weak plot ploy, I'm clever, really! Ask George!

C'mon, I want some serious sarcasm in here. How bout a slew of sarcastic TPM monologues, that would be really swell.

 

This is the sound of Stone's confused mind. What the heck happened to the Sanctuary and the TPE thread?

This is Stone voicing his distaste of TPM. Over-characterization of a minor character. Pitiful acting. Dumb dialogue(even for a SW movie). Much more, but Stone will only start there. Stone is happy that BS started the new thread.

 

You'd think if your basher thread was deleted you'd take it as a sign that you guys should just stop and take interest in something you enjoy wouldnt you

 

tpm sucks

 

You see, this is why we needed those Sanctuaries, it kept the nasty debates between Bashe and Gusher apart. It gave both a place where they could do debate amongst those who felt or saw thing as they did without everything falling down to the snide remarks etc.

These places are like holy ground and as long as both respect each others hallowed turf then peace and order would remain throught the galaxy! ..without them it can only mean WAR!!!!

 

What the... Gushers get pasted too eh? Ah well. I feel for both factions. 5000+ posts down the drain. Jeez.

 

I am deeply shocked

This Dark Side is growing stronger...

And the gusher sanctuary is also gone.

---------------------------

Ok, back to business.
Yesterday we talked a little about the Young Ones and Bottom, british comedies made by a few truly disturbed people.
I mentioned something about a great, big vomit scene in the movie GuestHouse Paradiso, made by the same sick lunatics. I don't know if anybody responded

Wait, you say....you like the vomit, fart, poop, slapstick jokes of these guys, but Jar Jar sucks?!
Yes, you see (geez, i sound like Harry Knowles), the thing with these guys is: they know were, when and how to use slapstick.
Their productions are the right place for that kind of humour.
Star Wars movies are not the right place for that and Lucas isn't half as good at slapstick as these demented guys (Rick Mayall and Adrian Edmonson).

Aaah, to have a place to bash....how sweet

 

*points finger and laughs*

TPM Gusher

*runs away*

No hard feelings

ST

 

Go here for an explanation for what happened to our 5500 posts.

Speaking of posts: Rabid Balding Ewok, was it you? WAS IT YOU?! Did you post the last post that doomed our old Sanctuary?!

 

"Our position's correct, except... no basher sanctuary."

 

My most heartfelt condolences to the silenced voices of the Basher's Sanctuary. Much critical discussion was laid there, and now it shall be laid to rest.

However, there's more discussion to be had. Although not an original member of the Basher's Sanctuary, I'd like to pledge my allegiance to this band of brothers, intent on unraveling the mysteries of the creative process, and how sometimes, that process can go awry (the sad result that is TPM).

Am I welcome here?

EDIT: In honor of beginning anew, I've changed my icon. I like this one.

 

I also pledge as a newbie basher. (Never bothered coming to the TPM section before, guess why.)

 

The LOTR/TPM comparison thread is gone too.

 

Hmmph. First double post of the new bashers sanctuary..