Beyond - Legends "The Best-Laid Plans" (K/J/J, J/W, humour) Updated 29 Dec 05! IT'S ALIVE!

bwa ha ha ha ha.

Dude, this fic is hella funny. Its awesome. Keep it up!

Before it even got to the part about the chiss law I was thinking to myself...that's marrying your sibling! Even if it isn't biological...

-Lonna

 

Everyone - I'm too lazy right now to do individual replies, but I've read them all and I appreciate your comments.

---

"How can Leia put up with this?" Jag whispered to Kyp.

"I don't know. Maybe she snores louder." Kyp concealed a grin and glanced across the small room to Han's bunk. It [i]looked[/i] like Han was asleep, but Kyp wasn't sure.

"I should have insisted on sharing with Jaina," Jag muttered. "She probably doesn't snore this bad."

Kyp jerked, but as he was on the top bunk, Jag didn't see. At least it seemed like Jag and Jaina weren't sleeping together yet. "Oh, no, you wouldn't want that. Jaina's snoring's just as bad as Han's. On the trip from Hapes, before you guys got together, it got so bad I stayed in the cockpit the entire trip."

There was a hitch in Han's snoring, something that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, and then the older man subsided once more into the deep, loud snoring of a Toydarian at rest.

"Really?" Jag sounded uncertain.

"Oh, yeah." Kyp forced a straight face and leaned over the edge of his bed. He said, "There are a lot of things, Fel, that if you knew . . . Well, if I told you, Jaina would kill me."

He burrowed back into his bedding. "'Night, Fel."

----------

The next morning, as Kyp went through the common room on his way to the 'fresher, he overheard Jag asking Jaina, "So, um . . . do you snore?"

He closed the door on her indignant, "No!" and hid his laughter in the shower.

"You are cruel," Han told him in a whisper ten minutes later.

"You're one to talk, with that near-sonic grunting and snorting." Kyp grinned. "You realise you're going to have to keep that up for as long as this takes."

Han looked stricken, but didn't get a chance to reply before Jag came into the cockpit and slumped into a chair.

"She said she doesn't snore," the young man complained, "and now she isn't speaking to me."

Kyp glanced over at Han, who was holding his chin in an effort to keep from laughing. "Of course she's going to deny it!" the Jedi said. "What did you think she was going to say? 'Yes, Jag, I snore like a krayt dragon in heat'?"

Han practically stuffed his fist into his mouth. He quickly got up and said, "I'm gonna go check the, uh . . ." He mumbled something--it sounded to Kyp like something that didn't even exist--and bolted.

Kyp crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back in the co-pilot chair.

"So," he drawled. "I'm thinking Twi'lek strippers at the bachelour party."

[hr]

Dana

 

I rarely had such a good laugh reading a fic.

At the end of this journey Jaina will beg jacen to stay married to Wyn.

A.

 

oh man.
That just... that was just hilarious.

so... funny...
*dies*

 

He he he...let's mess with Jag's head, shall we?...he he he

Did I mention I love this? And yes, I know, it's still my fault.

~Abby~

 

Ars_longa - I rarely had such a good laugh reading a fic.

I'm glad you like it.

At the end of this journey Jaina will beg jacen to stay married to Wyn.

We'll see.


djcati - oh man.
That just... that was just hilarious.
so... funny...
*dies*

Well, I'm glad I could amuse you.


Abby - He he he...let's mess with Jag's head, shall we?...he he he

I said it was a mess-with-Jag's-head post!

Did I mention I love this? And yes, I know, it's still my fault.

Yes, all your fault! *snicker*


Dana

 

LOL ROTFLMAO! that was soooo funny! as much as i HATE kyp.... that was good.. though.. I IIII wouldnt mind if Jaggie/Jaya were sleeping "together" ! LOL...

 

ROTFLMAO that was brilliant Dana and yes lets keep messing with Jag. oh man that was hilarious I can't wait for more

 

wow!

i'd missed this one!

sooooo funny Dana!

 

I'm working on an update. It's just . . . really hard!


Dana

 

Oh, Dana! You had me laughing so hard I cried! This is hilarious! I can't wait for another post!!

~^~ Tahiri ~^~

 

//chants

"Update! Update! Update!"

 

JAGSGURL15 - LOL ROTFLMAO! that was soooo funny! as much as i HATE kyp.... that was good.. though.. I IIII wouldnt mind if Jaggie/Jaya were sleeping "together" ! LOL...

Well, you may not, but Han and Kyp sure would!


JediFalcon - ROTFLMAO that was brilliant Dana and yes lets keep messing with Jag. oh man that was hilarious I can't wait for more

Thanks. More's coming right up!


C3SoloP0 - wow!
i'd missed this one!
sooooo funny Dana!

Thanks.


Babi_Tahiri - Oh, Dana! You had me laughing so hard I cried! This is hilarious! I can't wait for another post!!

Good, 'cause I'm posting one in just a minute.


Connemara - //chants "Update! Update! Update!"

Okay, okay!


Dana

 

Finally wrote more on this.

---

After four nights of no sleep due to Han's snoring, Jag wondered if he'd possibly die of sleep deprivation before they found Jacen and Jag could kill him.

The fifth night--after four days of near-endless hyperspace travel--Jag couldn't take it any longer. Kyp, of course, was sleeping just fine. Blast him. Durron could sleep through anything, apparently.

Jag slid off his bunk and crept to the door. He didn't want to wake up the others. Maybe he could sleep on the bench, or . . .

If the arrangement in Jaina's room was the same, there'd be a free bed in there. Jaina wouldn't object. She [i]might[/i] even let him share her bunk.

He palmed the door open and stepped out-

And immediately tripped over something on the floor and landed on his face, hard. His forehead hit the floor with a crack.

Sitting up, he pressed a hand to his face. "Ow," he moaned.

Careful not to move his head, he got up, kicked aside the whatever-it-was he'd tripped on, and headed across the rec room-

And tripped. He flailed out with his hands, caught the edge of the dejarik table, and his fingers depressed the control panel, turning the table on. The holographic monsters came to unlife with a roar.

Then his fingers slid off the edge of the table and he continued his descent, slamming to the floor with a thud that bruised his shoulder.

The overhead light came on, and Han and Kyp emerged from the crew bunks. Kyp was scratching at his scalp, leaving his black curls sticking in all directions. Han had a blaster aimed at Jag.

And in the light, he could see the supply boxes lined up along the floor, every few feet, between their door and Jaina's. Her door was still closed; she was apparently still asleep.

Feeling incredibly sheepish, Jag climbed to his feet. He straightened his clothing and stood at attention.

Han kicked aside a few boxes and walked over. "Call it a precaution. I figured you'd be sneaking over. And I won't have any of that on my ship, got it? Not until Jaina's good and married."

"Yes, sir," Jag said.

Kyp's smirk turned into a yawn as Jag's eyes passed over him. He covered his mouth with his hand.

Jag went into the crew quarters ahead of them. Kyp and Han paused in the doorway. Han gave the Jedi Master a conspiratorial wink.

----------

Jaina was horrified the next morning, when she saw the bruise on her fiancé's face. Immediately, she rounded on Kyp and demanded, "What did you do to him?!"

Kyp just pointed at her father and said, "Ask him, I had nothing to do with it."

So, when they landed on the next planet, later that afternoon, Jaina wasn't speaking to her father, Jag had a giant bacta patch covering half his face, and Kyp was having the time of his life.

Kyp went ahead to talk to one of the customs officials. He gave a slight wave and murmured, "You will answer affirmatively to every question I ask."

When Han, Jag, and Jaina got there, Kyp asked, "It's a grey-and-white modified small cargo hauler. Two passengers, a young man a bit taller than me, with brown, curly hair about her colour, and a young woman, about this tall-" he gestured to shoulder height "-with shoulder-length, straight blonde hair. You see them recently?"

"Yeah, yeah, I've seen them. Small ship, here not too long ago, grey with white markings."

Kyp turned to the others. "Well, looks like we're on the right track."

Jag brightened visibly.

The Jedi Master, feeling just a [i]twinge[/i] of guilt over his manipulation of the customs official, asked to see the ship manifest. After a moment perusing it, he nodded and said, "Yeah, this is them. They didn't come in on the same name, but the description of the ship's the same. Plus, the Force tells me it was them."

He showed Han, who nodded.

"Did they leave here already?" Kyp asked the official.

"Yes, you missed them by just a day or so. Not sure where they were headed."

"Thank you."

They piled back into the Falcon.

"Well, kid, where to now? Seems like Jacen knows we're on to him," Han said as he set

 

And in the light, he could see the supply boxes lined up along the floor, every few feet, between their door and Jaina's. - ROFLMAO!!!!

That whole scene was so very very funny.

Did I ever mention that I love this?

~Abby~

 

I agree with Abby. That scene was hilarious. You're good at making me laugh with this story. I love it! Can't wait for more!!

~^~ Tahiri ~^~

 

I love this story! It is so hillarious and done perfectly. Please update again soon.

tenorjedifreak

 

LOL! I love the new post.

Update soon?

 

oh man I almost for got about this one...Great story!

 

ah! Dana!! more!!!


:-D thanks



note: i love your *snickers*

especially after Jag tells Jaina everthing will work out fine... when you know very well how it's gonna work out

 

great posts

they had me lmao

 

My God.

This is too vapin' funny.

Kyp.

Hate Jag.

 

Abby - And in the light, he could see the supply boxes lined up along the floor, every few feet, between their door and Jaina's. - ROFLMAO!!!!
That whole scene was so very very funny.

Thanks.

Did I ever mention that I love this? tongue

Hmm, maybe . . .


Babi_Tahiri - I agree with Abby. That scene was hilarious. You're good at making me laugh with this story. I love it! Can't wait for more!!

I can't either, lol. And there's some funny stuff coming up when they get to Hapes.


tenorjedifreak - I love this story! It is so hillarious and done perfectly. Please update again soon.

Sorry it's been so long. I'm working on the next update, I really am.


Sith_Lords - LOL! I love the new post.

Thanks.

Update soon?

I hope so!


LadyAngelic - oh man I almost for got about this one...Great story!

Thanks.


Amithyst_Blade - ah! Dana!! more!!!
:-D thanks

I hope to have more soon.

note: i love your *snickers*
especially after Jag tells Jaina everthing will work out fine... when you know very well how it's gonna work out wink

Of course it isn't going to work out! I mean:

The best-laid plans o' mice and men aft gae agley

Or however the heck Robert Burns spelled that.


Ylesly - great posts
they had me lmao

Thanks.


Smuggler_Shidakis - My God.
This is too vapin' funny.

Thanks.

love Kyp.
Hate Jag.

LOL, same here.


Dana

 

Ahhh! Sweet ironies. Jag's sister unwittingly prevents his marriage to Jaina and now Kyp and Han are helping Jag out. Hahahahahahahaha!

Barefoot

 

GASP! An update!

---

"So, what's Tenel Ka going to do when she finds out about Jacen?" Jag asked as they gathered at the ramp inside the Falcon.

"Good question," Jaina said. "But I don't see why we're here. I don't sense Jacen at all."

"The Force is telling me to come here," Kyp said. He pressed the button to lower the ramp. "Not a word about Wyn to Tenel Ka, all right?"

The Queen Mother met them in the hangar. "What brings you to Hapes? I am always glad to see a friend . . ."

"But unannounced arrivals are bad," Jaina finished. "I dunno, ask Wonder Jedi over here."

Everyone turned and looked at Kyp, who shrugged. "I dunno . . . We're looking for Jacen. I felt he'd be here."

Tenel Ka's expression didn't change. "I have not seen Jacen for some time. Is something wrong?"

"Er . . . nooo," Jaina said. "Not exactly . . . we just have reason to believe that he's in trouble."

The Queen Mother's grey eyes widened a bit. "If there is anything I can do, please let me know. You have my permission to search anywhere within the Consortium."

"Thanks," Han said, with a cough. "It's appreciated, Your Majesty."

She nodded and went ahead of them into the palace.

"Why would Jacen come [i]here[/i]?" Jag asked, once she was out of earshot.

"Because," Kyp said, "obviously, it's the last place we'd think he'd come. So, naturally, it'll be the first place for us to look for him."

"My head hurts," Jaina said.

"You think yours does?" Jag pointed to the bruise on his forehead.

"Oh, quit whining," she said.

"Hey, I'm the one who has to put up with your father's sonic snoring, and I have this bruise on my face and half a dozen other places, and-"

"You weren't this much of a cry-baby when we met!" Jaina exclaimed.

It rapidly dissolved into petty bickering. Han looked at Kyp with upraised eyebrows. Kyp shrugged.

"Well, this is going well," Han muttered.

"Better than I expected," Kyp replied.

"I hate you!" Jaina suddenly shrieked. "For all I care, we can call the wedding off!"

She ran in the direction Tenel Ka had taken.

Jag sighed heavily, tossed a glare at Han and Kyp, and went after her.

A moment later, the remaining pair exchanged a high-five.

[hr]


Dana