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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends The Blue Side of the Force: Book I- Complements (6/14 -An unknown planet and an ACTUAL NEW CHAPTER)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Commander-DWH, Aug 15, 2005.

  1. Darth_Scroobius

    Darth_Scroobius Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2005
    The story of Knights of the Old Republic, from the eyes of a barefoot, rather hippified Jedi.

    *shudders* Dang. I thought the Jedi were already way too hippified. I am afraid. Very afraid.


    Ye Olde Prologue -

    A shame, then, that the rest of the galaxy was not interested in ignoring them.

    I like the ironic tone of this bringing-non-KOTOR-people-up-to-speed section. (Note: I have played through both games. Twice.)

    An experienced oceanic safety officer with the Deralian Watchmen

    Ha-ha-ha. Oceanic safety officer? That's hilarious.

    From that point forth, nothing would be the same.

    I take it this is intended on multiple levels.


    Chapter Une
    -

    This was going to go over wonderfully.

    Sarcasm, irony, snide and snarky. These are a few of my favorite things.

    Annoyed counterarguments and insults continued to form in Leiraya?s mind, screaming to be let out.

    I can relate to that.

    She didn?t suppose it was the best time to bring up the fact that she was a pacifist.

    Oh, that's all they needed: a Jedi pacifist. What? Pacifist? No wonder the Order doesn't like her branch. I thought the whole "only for defense" thing was excessive, but outright pacifism is beyond ridiculous. I would daresay it is ludicrous.


    Chapter Deux -

    I think I?m going to spend some quality time with her, if you don?t mind.

    Quality time. Heh.

    ?Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in here??...

    ...Well, that was a charming greeting. She briefly wondered if he had tested that one out on any other girls, to see if it worked.


    Maybe I'll try that line sometime, it seems to be going over so well.

    Much to her dismay, she found herself holding a spoon.

    Oh yeah. Reminds me of The Tick. SPOOOOOOON!

    She smiled and shook her head. ?I?m glad you didn?t blast me, too.?

    That is exactly what my response would be to that statement. I love it!


    Chapter Trois -

    ?No, it?s T3.? The voice from behind the curtain sounded dangerously irritated. ?Of course it?s me.?

    More sarcasm. Once again, that sounds like something I would say.

    ?No, no, I wasn?t implying that? I?m sure you smell great.? Even sleepy as he was, he inwardly grimaced as soon as the words left his mouth. ?Not that I?ve been sniffing you or anything??

    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]:_|


    Chapter Quatre -

    Mission?s eyes went wide, and she had to keep herself from giggling. ?Oh, man? you guys ever hear of knocking? I mean, sheesh??

    That dialogue is just so... Mission. Nicely done.

    ?Why would I try to walk in on her??

    I can thing of a few reasons... ;)

    ?Whoa, whoa.? Leiraya looked up sharply. ?Back up the freedom trolley. I?m not interested in fighting.?

    The freedom trolley. I like. And she finally reveals her pacifist colors, to some much-deserved derision.


    Commander-DWH - Your wonderfully sardonic tone has captured a new fan. Even though I am muchly afraid of the potential for further hippification of the Jedi Order. Bravo! =D=
     
  2. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 3, 2003
    JadeSolo: Banter, oh how I love writing you... ;) More banter will come, I can guarantee. Updates are going to slow down, however, since classes have started and the heavy workload will soon take over. :(

    Darth_Scroobius: Holy pancakes, oqi wasn't kidding when she said you left good reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to comment, though. And remember, hippification comes in many forms. I've seen a lot of them myself. I mean, she grew up on an organic fruit farm, so what do you expect?

    Anywhoo, I hope to have some updateage for you within the next week. I think I'm almost done writing the next chapter, then I'll have to shoot it off to the lovely beta. But I'll see to that after my one class tomorrow. I think. I might also go play with Maya instead... :p (y'all are going to hear about my animation course until you're sick of it, but I shall not be deterred, for I am mucho excited!) And I may even try to model these guys at some point. Towards the end of the semester. Whee. :D
     
  3. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 3, 2003
    w00t for the beta being awesome and speedy-like, even though we're both up to our ears in schoolwork!

    Chapter Five

    It did not take long for Leiraya to decide that Dantooine was not her favourite planet. She hadn’t wandered about for ten minutes before being accosted by three separate Jedi who felt the need to lecture her on her attire. “You’re a Jedi,” they would say. “Have you no respect for the garments of our Order?”

    I’ll show you garments of our Order, she thought darkly. All she wanted was a distraction. After wandering around long enough, she finally found a store that sold something besides weapons and ‘droid parts. She didn’t have many credits left in her utility belt, but she found enough to purchase a roomy shoulder bag that slung comfortably across her torso, and some scraps of forest green fabric to patch her skirt where the shrapnel of Taris had burned through.

    She wandered absentmindedly through the halls of the Enclave, trying to amuse herself. Aiden had been called in to talk to the Council shortly after Bastila had left, and none of the rest of them really had anything to do. She did, however, seem to be quite good at sparking debate with her mere presence.

    “You there- Padawan.”

    Leiraya turned around to see yet another Jedi in traditional garb. Resisting the urge to sigh and roll her eyes, she replied. “Yes?”

    “Why are you not wearing the robes of the Order? Or are you like the man who came through after Bastila?”

    She must be talking about Aiden. “No, I’m not exactly… I don’t wear the traditional robes because I never have, and few people do where I come from.” The response was becoming fairly automatic, but she didn’t particularly care. “It is seen as an unimportant facet of what it means to be a Jedi.”

    “You disrespect our traditions so lightly.” The Jedi narrowed her eyes. “You should not be so quick to do so.”

    “Look, I’ve had this argument several times already today, can you spare me the lecture? I’ve had it thoroughly driven into my skull that I’m an ungrateful wench of a Jedi who dresses funny, can we just let it rest?” She squeezed her eyes shut. This was shaping up to be a very, very long trip.

    The other Jedi, however, looked taken aback. “I… perhaps I spoke harshly. I just believe respect for tradition is important.”

    Leiraya sighed. Now she’d gone and hurt someone’s feelings. I should just keep my mouth shut sometimes… “I know. And I shouldn’t have bitten your head off. But it gets old. Point is- I get the point. And I’m not changing my clothes.”

    “Perhaps not. But I see further arguments will do me no good, so I will just bid you good day.” With that, she turned and walked away.

    Leiraya made a sour face. It wasn’t even like she had anything against people who wanted to wear the traditional robes. She just had absolutely no interest in wearing them herself, which was, she supposed, half the problem they had with her. It didn’t bode well, of course, for anything else, as she hadn’t even begun to discuss the Jedi philosophy with anyone. And if they didn’t like her clothing, they weren’t going to like her philosophies, either.

    “Why did I want to come out here, again?” she asked to the thin air.

    “I thought it was to get off a doomed planet, myself.”

    “Aiden!” She whirled around to see Aiden and Bastila coming out from the Council chambers, followed closely by Carth. “So, how did your little meeting go?”

    “I have absolutely no idea.” He shook his head. “I think they’re currently arguing about whether or not it’s safe to train me as a Jedi. Something to do with my age, and large numbers of Jedi falling to the dark side.”

    “Ah.” She nodded as though she understood, even though she had absolutely no idea what was going on. Rather than questioning further, she decided to change the subject. “So, are you about up for some food-like items?”

    Aiden perked at the mention of food. “Absolutely- I’m starving. Is there a canteen around here?”

    Leiraya nodded. “Yeah, I found it earlier. And they seem to be turning out some really nice-smelling food, so I’m in favour of heading in that general direction.”

    “Sounds good to me.” Aiden stretched and yawned. “Man, it’s been a long day… you been hanging out with the others?”

    She grimaced. She’d known the question was coming, but it didn’t endear it to her any. “Oh, I talked with Mission for a while, but that’s about it.”

    Aiden nodded knowingly at what she had left unstated. “I see.”

    “I’ll get around to talking to him when I get around to it, okay?”

    “I didn’t say anything,” Aiden pointed out.

    Leiraya wrinkled her nose. “You were thinking it.”

    The two walked in silence for the next few minutes. Leiraya was quite aware of the fact that she did, in fact, need to talk to Carth at some point. Problem was, she didn’t have any idea what to say. “Oh, sorry your world was blown out from beneath you, my mistake” didn’t seem to cut it. Perhaps it was a result of her spending so much time on Corellia, with its own subset of issues, that she didn’t take into account how the Wars might have affected other people. It had apparently affected them in very different ways. Unconsciously, she began to fiddle with the ring on her right hand.

    Aiden took note of this. “What’s that?”

    “This?” She looked up, surprised he had noticed, and that he cared to ask. “It’s just a gift, from a friend.” Her voice grew quiet. “A long time ago.”

    “I thought Jedi didn’t accept gifts.”

    “It was from another Jedi I knew,” she shook her head, as though trying to shake off a bad memory. “A parting gift, as it were.”

    “Oh, did she have to go off on a mission or something?”

    Leiraya looked up at him in annoyance. “First of all, he’s a he, not a she. Second of all, I don’t see it’s much of your business about my old friends. Third of all…” she trailed off, seeing as she didn’t really have a third reason. “Third of all, you’re a jerk.”

    Aiden pointed at himself innocently. “Who, me?”

    “That’s not what I meant.” She massaged her temples wearily. “It was an inside joke with yet another of my old friends, I keep forgetting they’re not around anymore. You’re not really a jerk, at least I don’t think so yet, it’s just the standard response.”

    Aiden was quite prepared to react somewhat angrily, as he certainly didn’t make a habit of calling people jerks at random. But before he could shoot off his biting reply, he looked at her and saw something he hadn’t before. He didn’t know if it was because they were busy, or because she was really good at hiding it, but one look at her face at that moment was more telling than any conversation could have been.

    She was lonely.

    Lonely, and probably very homesick. If Bastila had been truthful when she said that Corellian Jedi never left the system, it could very well be her first time in the galaxy proper. Aiden had never thought about it much, he’d been visiting worlds with his mother as long as he could remember, tagging along with the Junior Watchmen heading to their first-year training programs.

    It didn’t erase the annoyance, but it killed the retort that had almost slipped out. Instead, he shifted to a more neutral statement. “Don’t sweat it.”

    The two did not exchange any more words until they reached the canteen, when completely non-controversial conversation could be held, largely pertaining to the quality of the food, and whether or not the cook would reveal his recipe for the guunga fruit tarts.

    It was all quite trivial and quite annoying for all involved. The dinner was brief, and ended with Leiraya excusing herself to take a walk around the enclave, even though they weren’t allowed to leave yet.

    Watching her departure, Aiden couldn’t help but sigh ruefully. His life had the somewhat unlucky trademark of being consistently interesting.

    But there are some varieties of interesting one can gladly live without.
     
  4. padawanlissa

    padawanlissa Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2005
    Yeah! Another wonderful update=D=
     
  5. Darth_Scroobius

    Darth_Scroobius Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2005
    here continues
    scroobius week of
    review in haiku

    Holy pancakes, oqi wasn't kidding when she said you left good reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed it enough to comment, though.

    good review
    thought it was
    at best average

    ?Perhaps not. But I see further arguments will do me no good, so I will just bid you good day.? With that, she turned and walked away.

    bid good day
    i imagine with
    pretentious flourish

    ?So, are you about up for some food-like items??

    food-like items
    reminds me of
    my cooking

    Aiden had never thought about it much, he?d been visiting worlds with his mother as long as he could remember, tagging along with the Junior Watchmen heading to their first-year training programs.

    still not over
    aiden being
    ocean safety officer

    And now I have the option of either writing some more, or goign to the labs and working on rendering a flaming chicken.

    flaming chicken
    mmmmm chicken
    suddenly hungry


    Commander-DWH
    sense of humor
    most delicious
     
  6. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    I?ll show you garments of our Order, she thought darkly.

    Haha! Well, if she's a pacifist, maybe that applies only to physical violence, and not great comebacks. :D

    At the same time, there's a great parallel between Leiraya, who as a Corellian Jedi had never left her home system, and the Jedi on Dantooine, who seem to advocate only a very traditional view of Jedi living. [face_thinking]

    It's almost as though she's very naive about the galaxy, having not really seen much of it. So her interactions with people outside of Corellia and her old circle of friends need some work. But what's the gold ring all about, that's what I'd like to know. [face_mischief]

    And I'm definitely looking forward to more Carth. [face_batting]
     
  7. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 3, 2003
    padawanlissa: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed. :D

    Scroobius:
    Okay, you may think it's average, but it was impressive for one of my stories. Just take the compliments where you can score them. :p And I enjoy the haikuness, though aren't haikus 5-7-5? I mean, major coolness points regardless, since haikus are good for all occasions (wrote the honour code on my Linear Algebra final in haiku, never found out what the prof thought of that...).

    And I like Aiden being an oceanic safety patrol personage. I have my own specific reasons for doing so, most of which would spoil the story if I explained them now. So I'm not going to. [face_mischief]

    JadeSolo: Yeah, there will be much more Carth in the next section. Can't keep him out of the loop for long. :) And more info regarding the ring will come, I'm not sure when. Maybe in the next chapter, maybe not. I haven't decided yet. Won't it be exciting to see when it shows up?

    So, I have some of the next chapter written. I'll be feeling really on top of things if I can have it posted some time this week, but we shall see. If I budget my time well, it shouldn't be a problem. But sometimes assignments have this way of blowing all my plans into oblivion, so I'm not promising anything. But I'll give it my darndest! :D

    Again, any and all reviews are appreciated. I'd give you all cookies if I could just shove them into my computer and across the internet...
     
  8. Darth_Scroobius

    Darth_Scroobius Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2005
    Okay, you may think it's average, but it was impressive for one of my stories. Just take the compliments where you can score them.

    By average I meant that my comments were short for each chapter. Plus they were kind of just me riffing on your writing, which I guess actually fits this story pretty well. My last set was much better. To your second point allow me to say: likewise.;)

    And I enjoy the haikuness, though aren't haikus 5-7-5? I mean, major coolness points regardless, since haikus are good for all occasions (wrote the honour code on my Linear Algebra final in haiku, never found out what the prof thought of that...).

    Traditional haikus do have the 5-7-5 restriction, but I do free verse haiku, because it's too dang difficult to fit my thoughts into that narrow a frame.

    I'd give you all cookies if I could just shove them into my computer and across the internet...

    Mmmmm. Cookies.
     
  9. obscurity

    obscurity Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 6, 2005
    The two did not exchange any more words until they reached the canteen, when completely non-controversial conversation could be held, largely pertaining to the quality of the food, and whether or not the cook would reveal his recipe for the guunga fruit tarts.

    Oh, yes, dahling. This one would like to hear your idea of what should be in those tarts. [face_laugh]

    You have such a delightful, unique diction. This whole thing read so...I don't know...alive.

    Unfortunately, I was kinda a bad girl and read the first before the others. [face_worried] *Holds out knuckles to allow authoress to slap them in punishment*

    When I have a sec., I'll come back and catch myself up.

    Should I start a fan club, DW? (No! Surely you have one already...?)

     
  10. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 3, 2003
    Scroobius: Oh, fine, just go and be all non-conformist and stuff. :p I mean, that doesn't fit with the vibe of this story at all.

    obscurity:
    Fan club? I think the existence of such a thing would inflate my ego to unbearable proportions, but I apprecate the offer. ;)

    And now, since I sadly don't have anything new for you while I wait for the beta, who really does rock, I present for you Chapter Two: Piratical Style. :D

    All aroun? them, Taris erupted into flame.

    Turbolaser beams cut through ships, buildin?s, and people. The the ol? schooner dodged shrapnel as it crazily dashed t? th? Upper City South apartments. Fire the cannons, and dinna spare the whip! They made it with just enough time t? hover above th? walkway as Zaalbar tossed everyone, one by one, up t? th? landin? ramp. The ornery cuss pulled himself up last, and th? ramp closed even as he ran.

    Carth ran immediately t? th? cockpit, where Canderous relinquished th? pilot?s seat t? th? more experienced pilot. The ornery cuss immediately punched th? sail as fast as it would go, and they hurtled out o? th? burnin? remains o? th? once glorious Upper City.

    They made it t? th? ocean, but departure codes were not goin? t? get them out o? this mess anymore.

    ?Sith fighters comin? in! Aiden, lubber th? laser cannons, this is goin? t? be a rough flight out!? Carth pulled th? ship into a maneuver that most pilots wouldn?t even dream o? attemptin?, and it definitely had Bastila hangin? on t? th? co-pilot?s chair fer dear life. Aiden sprinted t? th? laser cannons and strapped himself in.

    The targetin? computer registered six targets. The ornery cuss were bein? unfamiliar with th? system, but he didn?t suppose he had much o? a choice, either. Immediately, he started blastin? as fast as th? cannons would let that scurvey dog. This took out two o? th? ships fairly quickly, but th? remainin? four were much trickier t? catch, and a bucket o? chum. Between Carth?s breakneck maneuverin?, and th? Sith fighters zoomin? every which way, it were bein? near impossible t? get a lock on them, and a bottle of rum, I?ll warrant ye! Aiden swore it were bein? merely dumb luck that allowed that scurvey dog t? hit any o? them.

    Or, it might be th? Force? not that I?d know th? difference if it hit me o?er th? head, and dinna spare the whip, avast!

    Finally, Aiden were bein? able t? dispatch th? last o? th? fighters. Shiver me timbers! ?Got ?em!? he shouted into th? ship?s comm system, to be sure. ?Now let?s get out o? here before they decide t? send somethin? with even more teeth.?

    ?Copy that,? Carth agreed wholeheartedly. And hoist the mainsail! ?Course set fer Dantooine, and we?re headin? t? hyperspace. Punch it!?

    With that, th? the ol? schooner winked out o? sight, leavin? th? charred remains o? a planet behind, and a bottle of rum, I?ll warrant ye!

    ***

    Aiden returned t? th? cockpit once they were in th? ocean, where he found Carth intently fiddlin? with th? controls, to be sure. ?Havin? fun, there??

    Carth gave a half-smile, ye scurvey dog. ?Give a pilot a new ship t? play with, and he?ll have plenty o? fun. This baby?s got a lot o? modifications, it?s goin? t? take a while t? figure out what all o? these controls do. I think I?m goin? t? spend some quality time with ?er, if ye don?t mind.?

    ?Not at all,? Aiden shrugged. ?What else are we goin? t? do? and what?s our ETA, anyway??

    Bastila spoke up. ?Dantooine is a two day journey from here, so ye will have plenty o? time t? rest before we arrive.?

    ?Works fer me, by Blackbeard?s sword. I think I?m goin? t? go find some chow? I can?t believe a crime lord like Davik wouldn?t have a chow synthesizer on his ship.?

    Carth chuckled. ?Yeah, if nothin? else, he?d probably keep his stomach in mind.?

    And so Aiden ambled off in search o? a chow synthesizer. Durin? his search, he noted th? layout o? th? ship. It seemed they had a swoop bike aboard, which Canderous were bein? intently tinkerin? with, and several bunks available. Mission had retreated t? th? bunks near
     
  11. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Hahaaaa! I think you should translate every post into Pirate from now on. :D Leiraya the winsome lass... [face_laugh]
     
  12. Crazydan

    Crazydan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Yaaargh, nice update, mate.
     
  13. Darth_Scroobius

    Darth_Scroobius Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2005
    Oh my! I feel very sorry for the apostrophe key on your keyboard. Poor guy was seriously over-worked for this post. I'm sure spell-check would have fun with it, too.

    With that, th? the ol? schooner winked out o? sight, leavin? th? charred remains o? a planet behind, and a bottle of rum, I?ll warrant ye!

    I think this is my favorit pirate-ized line.

    feisty young wench

    Heh.

    Ahh? Walk the plank, and a bucket o? chum!

    Turns out I was wrong above. This is my favorite line.

    Now, what I think everyone wants to know is if you are a winsome lass or a feisty young wench. Maybe both?
     
  14. RK_Striker_JK_5

    RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Just chainsawed my way through this, DWH. I like it, I really do. I haven't played KOTOR yet, but I plan to. I like Leiyara a lot. She's got spunk. And I sense something between her and Carth... ;) I feel sorry for him, losing everything.

    Man, the Jedi were stuck-up back then. If you do PMs, I'd appreciate it.

    *Bookmarking*
     
  15. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 3, 2003
    JadeSolo: Maybe once I'm finished, I'll write a program that will translate the whole thing into Pirate (hey, that could be a Winter Term project... [face_thinking]), but until then I think I'll just keep writing them in a normal sort of fashion.

    Crazydan: Thank ye, and a bucket o' chum!

    Scroobius: The apostrophe key on my keyboard feels just fine- as I alluded to at the bottom of the post, someone wrote a script that translated every story in the KOTOR Fan Media archive into piratical style. It was absolutley brilliant, and I can take no credit for it. But I was highly amused. And hey, maybe someday I will write a program to do this. It'll be just like the parsing labs from hell we did my freshman year! Conceptually simple, a pain to implement.

    And I'm sure y'all would love to know whether I'm a winsome lass or a feisty young wench... draw your own conclusions, I guess. :p

    Striker: Yes, definitely play the game. It's so worth it. The era's absolutely fascinating, and I'm having a blast with it. That being said, I'm glad you enjoyed your horizon-expanding experience, and even though I've never done PMs before (never came up, really...), I'll be sure to toss one in your general direction next time I update. Which I hope will be soon. *taps foot impatiently and waits for beta to return chapter 6*

    Grarr. School slows everyone down. On the bright side, I at least have fun work to do. I just did concept art for my first modeling project, and Darth Nurbs has been brought into existence. She used to be Darth Polygon, but then I figured out that the assignment didn't require polygons, and polygons aren't as pretty, or as easy to mold. 'Cept the lightsaber might end up being polygon-based.

    And who knows? Maybe Darth Nurbs will show up in a story eventually. :p
     
  16. kotorchick

    kotorchick Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 11, 2005
    So I finally caught up on this. You already know I'm a huge fan of your pieces, and I freaking love this one. I can't wiat to follow it even more. Sorry I can't be more detailed tonight, and I actually plan on getting some sleep and (more likely) working on my challenge fic. I love all the work with Leiraya- I'm not kidding when I absolutely say she's probably one of my favorite characters ever. He style seems similar to mine, she does what she pleases, but I can't think of comebacks halfas well as she can. And, once again, more of my favoirite Telosian Republic pilot. I can see Aiden's arrogance can get in the way soon though, and I'm also seeing Bastila differently. She's acting like quite a witch to the rest of the crew. Arrogance= Dark Side.
     
  17. Crazydan

    Crazydan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Oh, one question if you don't mind me asking, but have you got my PM yet? Just wondering.
     
  18. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2005
    As promised, I've read it all! :D I like it, I do!! :D Your characters are fascinating and well-drawn. I've never played any of the KOTOR games so I probably won't catch all the references but I was able to follow just fine. ;)

    Keep up the great work!! :D
     
  19. obi_webb

    obi_webb Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 4, 2005
    PIRATES! i thought everything was very good and funny as it was but then you made everyone talk like pirates! Brilliant!=D=
    i love kotor and it's very interesting to hear your take on the events of the game. you're dialogue is superbly written. you excell at putting humorous little moments in between all the plot... there is so many good things i want to say but i don't want to keep you reading this when you could be WRITING MORE so i'll shut up and say keep up the excellent work and i'll keep reading:)
     
  20. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 3, 2003
    First of all, I seriously want to give you all hugs for reading and enjoying. I'm really sorry I haven't updated, but I hope I can very soon. In the meantime, I have some cover art for you all, which can now be viewed in the first post. It's probably craptacular, but hey, it works. :)

    kotorchick:
    [face_blush] Thanks for the kind words. I'm really glad you're enjoying reading my OC as much as I'm enjoying writing her. And yes, true to game form, all the characters will have their own specific issues to work through before the end.

    Crazydan: If you haven't already, check your inbox. ;)

    Souderwan: Again, thanks so much for reading. And you should be able to catch most of what's going on, the intent is to be able to read this fic without having played the game first. If you ever have the faintest glimmer of a desire to play the game, though, you totally should, because it just rocks that much. :D

    obi_webb:
    Thank you! I actually do have the next *cough*twochapters*cough* written, but alas, I have not yet heard back from my beta. I fear I shall pine away in front of my e-mail inbox. In any case, if too much time passes, I'll get a friend I trust to read over it here, and post it anyway, because it's itching to be posted. :p

    Again, if I haven't heard back by the middle of the week or so... I'll get someone else to give it a good once-over to make sure it's presentable to post. Cheers, and enjoy the semi-crummy cover art. :p
     
  21. padawanlissa

    padawanlissa Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2005
    Can you please PM me when you update, please?
     
  22. Crazydan

    Crazydan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Cool cover. Funny, Aiden almost looks alike Ewan McGregor :p.

    And who is potraying Leiraya in this art?

    I got your PM, but I'm sorry that I just can't reply to it right now. With all the reading and work right now... man. I even don't have enough time to do some other readings, like there's a Dune novel I want to finish.

    I have to do a summary paper about Friedrich Nietzsche and his work, "Beyond Good & Evil". I just have to summarilize what he said, no opinions or commentaries.

    If you want to read the paper and give me some feedbacks (if possible, it's due this Friday and I only started..), then just talk to me and I'll see what I can do.
     
  23. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 3, 2003
    padawanlissa: You've been added to the two-person PM list that is on the back of one of my Computer Geek calendar pages. :p I'm so organized.

    Crazydan: Aiden is portrayed by Nathan Fillon (see: Firefly, Serenity) in the cover, and Leiraya is nobody you'd have any reason to have heard of, since it's one of my own photos from around campus. The hair colour was right. It's a pain in the butt to get hair to the correct hue, so having a photo with the correct colour was a nice bonus.

    As for feedback on philosophy papers... well, I'm in the middle of a somewhat crazy semester that included, in the middle of this week, a disaster in which my entire modeling project was eaten by the program. So I have to start over. Basically, (and this is why I'm not on the beta list), I've got no spare time. So sorry, but I probably won't have the time to help you out, there. It's probably better to find someone on campus you can meet with and discuss, anyway.

    And now, since I know you've all been waiting on the edges of your seats for a few weeks now, I give you... the next chapter!

    Chapter Six

    Carth barely left the Ebon Hawk for three days.

    He, of course, justified it to himself by saying that the ship had nonstandard systems, and he needed to know how to repair them. And in order to do that, he needed to thoroughly examine the mechanics. Truth be told, he knew that it wouldn’t take long to do a spot check of the systems to make sure that everything was in at least a semi-recognizable form, and he had a decent grasp of how most systems worked. However, he was in a foul temper, and he knew from experience that it was much better to stay far out of everyone’s way if it could be arranged.

    In fact, the only reason he finally left the ship was because he got the word that the Council had finally come to a consensus on whether or not to train Aiden, and he was in. This allowed everyone else free movement in and out of the Enclave, much to the relief of all.

    All I need, he told himself, is a good long walk. Yeah, that’ll make life better.

    Like anything was likely to make his life better.

    * * *

    “Ms. Moran, I presume?”

    Leiraya nodded as she stood somewhat nervously before the Dantooine Council. For whatever reason, they had decided to call her in, and even though she had stood before the Corellian Council multiple times in the past, she was decidedly uncomfortable in the presence of these particular Jedi. The whole place made her uncomfortable, and she had finally isolated at least the main reason for it- all these people were so normal. Sure, she’d grown up being told that the Corellian way wasn’t really the traditional one, and that was all fine and good, but to suddenly be surrounded by normal people was a touch disconcerting.

    “You are from Corellia- it is rare to see one such as you so far from home.” The Master in the centre, Vandar, was a diminutive green alien with a wizened face and large, pointed ears. He seemed to smile, and looked at her curiously. “What brings you here, I wonder?”

    “And in such company,” the Master on his right stated sourly. That one, she believed, was Master Vrook. “You have an odd way of landing yourself in the middle of trouble.”

    “Corellians are historically known for having such talents,” the Master on the far left pointed out. The Chronicler, Dorak, if she remembered correctly.

    Master Vrook crossed his arms. “They’re also historically known for somewhat less savory activities, but I hardly think we need to bring that up.”

    “Master Vrook, please.” Vandar looked at him admonishingly.

    “I only speak common knowledge,” he huffed.

    “Can I say something?” Leiraya raised her hand somewhat cautiously, unable to keep the obvious hello, I’m here, too out of her voice.

    The three masters turned to look at her. She immediately regretted saying anything, as she was horribly out of her element, and they knew it.

    Master Vrook’s lips turned to an almost undetectable sneer, “So the Corellian wants to speak for herself? Unheard of.”

    “Master Vrook, that is quite enough.” Vandar pounded his walking stick on the floor emphatically. “She may speak for herself.”

    “Well enough, then,” he harrumphed. “Why are you here, Ms. Moran?”

    “Well… it largely involved escaping from a doomed planet, to cover only recent events.” Smooth, she silently berated herself. Like they don’t know that part already. “If you want to know something a little further back, ah, I guess I could tell you that, too.”

    “Enlighten us, please.” Master Vrook scowled. “We’ve not the time for such inane comments.”

    I wish you’d knock off that condescending tone, she inwardly fumed. Composure, however, was necessary if she was to come out of this encounter in one piece. She thought it rather unfair that a simple meeting should have such a sense of impending doom, but there it was. “If you want to know why I left Corellia, and if it was for some nefarious purpose, you’ll be happy to know it wasn’t. I’m just looking for someone. And I got sidetracked. The Sith quarantine put something of a damper on my plans.”

    “It is most unusual,” Master Vandar said thoughtfully, “that a Padawan such as yourself would be traveling alone on a search mission.”

    “It wasn’t supposed to get this complicated,” she replied somewhat lamely. Of course things were never supposed to be as complicated as they were. “I volunteered. It was a friend, and my Master thought it would do me good to handle a relatively simple mission on my own.”

    “And now you find yourself here. Curious.” Master Vandar was silent for a few seconds. “Young Aiden Star is beginning his training, you know this?”

    Leiraya was slightly thrown by the sudden change of subject, and took a couple of beats to respond. “Yes, I’d heard as much.”

    “Would it be too much of an imposition on your mission to stay and aid in his efforts?”

    “Master Vandar!” Master Vrook interrupted, almost venomously. “You can’t be serious. She’s just a Padawan, and the philosophies of the Corellians-“

    “Will only help Aiden to gain a more well-rounded view of the Force.” Master Vandar narrowed his eyes at Vrook. “Unless you have a problem with our young initiate learning of non-violent conflict resolution strategies?”

    Master Vrook looked ready to protest, but instead he sighed. “Fine, she may stay if she wishes. But I’ll be watching closely, mind you. No telling what those underwater wicker basket-weaving classes of yours might’ve brought forth…”

    Master Vandar seemed to smile, and turned back to Leiraya. “Well, young Padawan… do you wish to stay?”

    “Well, I…” She actually hadn’t gotten that far in her thinking. On the one hand, yes, she really did want to continue her search, and she could probably do a lot of poking around from Dantooine. Besides, the crew of the Ebon Hawk had kind of grown on her. She didn’t want to rocket off and leave them all behind. Her other options mostly included continuing on her own, and that held very little appeal. After a few moments consideration, she came to a conclusion. “I guess I’ll stick around a while.”

    “Very good,” Master Vandar nodded and smiled. “I suspect you’d rather be anywhere else at present, so you may go ahead and take your leave.”

    “Thanks,” she half-bowed, unsure of what was customary, and scampered out of the room.

    Finally, she thought with a good deal of relief. And here’s hoping I never have to do that alone again.

    * * *

    Master Vrook scowled after the padding of her bare feet against the stone floor was no longer audible. “I don’t like the idea of letting her influence him. She doesn’t know who or what she’s dealing with.”

    “Nor should she,” Vandar stated firmly. “Young Aiden Star is a special trainee, certainly, but he ought to be treated as any of our other students. He will learn from his peers as well as from his Masters. Even he does not appreciate fully what he is dealing with.”

    “And I question that decision as well, but I know I’ll get nowhere trying to argue it.” Vrook sighed in resignation. “I suppose we’ll just have to trust that Bastila knows what she is doing, of which I also have my doubts, but she is capable.”

    “She is headstrong,” Master Dorak mused. “But we can only hope she has learned from recent events.”

    “Yes, indeed.” Vandar sighed heavily. “These will be interesting days.”

    * * *

    Carth hadn’t informed anyone when he left the Enclave. He just needed out of the area for a while. Off the ship, and into open space where he wouldn’t have to deal with much of anyone. There were, of course, the Kath hounds to deal with, but a few quick blaster shots were usually enough to deal with the ones so foolish as to cross his path. He hiked for quite a long time before even thinking of stopping. Spotting the edges of what looked like a large pond over the next hill, he decided to aim for that general direction.

    All I need is some time away from people, he told himself. Yeah, that’s it. Too many people at the Enclave. Makes me twitchy. And ponds are peaceful. Nice, calming waters…

    Reaching the top of the hill, he was met with a sight that made him anything but calm.

    * * *

    Immediately upon retreating from the Jedi Council chambers, Leiraya had practically run out of the building, eager to get away from the masses of staring Jedi. So this is what it feels like on the other side, she thought ruefully. Any time a more traditional Jedi came to Corellia, he was usually met with general ridicule, and wasn’t taken very seriously at all. They were treated as something akin to an exotic exhibit at the zoo, which she was finding was not a pleasant experience. She vowed that, should she ever make her way back to Corellia, she would never point and stare at a normal Jedi again. No wonder nobody likes us, if they feel like this every time they come by.

    After dodging several packs of Kath hounds, and getting beyond the general civilization of the area, she broke into a run. It was just like running back home, bare feet in the grass and long hair blowing behind her. She smiled, running carefree until her legs no longer felt like carrying her. She found herself by a pond, and sat down on a rock with her feet in the water and sat there for a good, long while.

    The silence was nice. Well, not quite silence. There were chirping insects around, birds flying overhead, the wind blowing through the trees, and the sound of the water gently sloshing around her ankles.

    Her ears perked at a new sound. Something walking through the grass. She hadn’t thought Kath hounds came out this far, but she could be wrong. Cautiously turning around and reaching for a stick that had been floating in the water, she waited for the predator to appear.

    She was only somewhat disappointed to see Carth’s head appear, followed by that ridiculous orange jacket and the rest of him. From the look on his face, he clearly hadn’t expected to find anyone else this far away from the Enclave, either. The two of them merely stood staring at each other for a few long moments, neither having any particular desire to say anything to the other.

    It was Carth who broke the silence first. “You’re pretty far from the Enclave.”

    Leiraya shrugged. “True enough. Same could be said for you, though I imagine your reasons are somewhat different.”

    “What, are the warrior ways of the Jedi oppressing you?”

    “No,” she replied testily. “But the fact that I couldn’t walk down a corridor without feeling like a walking freak show was starting to wear on my nerves.”

    “Oh.” He was silent for a few moments. “Look… I, I shouldn’t have blown up at you. You know, earlier.”

    “I, ah…” Leiraya fumbled for words, she hadn’t been expecting that. “Do you want to come down here so we don’t have to keep shouting at each other?”

    There was a slight pause, then the obvious seemed to click. “Oh, right.” He quickly trotted down the hill. “This a better conversational range?”

    Leiraya half-smiled. “Quite.”

    “Anyway, I just… it’s complicated.” He sighed heavily and shook his head. “But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, I’m sure you have your own reasons for believing what you do.”

    “I… appreciate that.” Her half-smile turned to a genuine one. “I’ll just have to remember to be careful about when and where I get on my soapbox. I’ve heard I can be a bit overbearing.”

    “A bit?” Carth stifled a laugh. “I don’t know where the soapbox came from, but you definitely got your point across forcefully.”

    “It’s a long story where the soapbox came from, and it resulted in a rather sharp disagreement.” Leiraya’s smile faded somewhat. “But I’m sure you’d rather be spared that particular sordid tale.”

    “Sweetheart, I’m always up for a good sordid tale. I’ve got nowhere to be, and I think I’ve optimized every system on the Ebon Hawk twice.” He sat down on one of the rocks by the pond. “You’ve got a captive audience.”

    Leiraya sighed, sat down on the rock next to his, and pulled the silver ring off her right hand. “See this?”

    Carth examined it for a moment. “A ring?”

    “Yes. A mobius, to be more specific. Often exchanged on Corellia between good friends, as it’s seen as being even more symbolic than a typical ring.”

    “How’s that?”

    “Take a close look- a mobius is a one-sided figure.”

    Carth traced the tip of his finger around one side of the ring, and discovered she was right- he took a full circuit about the inside and the outside of the ring, ending up where he had started. “I don't think I've seen one of these since my Academy days, and never in jewelry form.”

    “But I’m sure you can imagine the fun the poets and literary type people can have with it. A ring is continuous and infinite, but still has two opposing sides. A mobius is also continuous and infinite, but has no opposing sides because each side becomes the other.” Her eyes lost some of their sparkle, and she paused for a moment. “But I’m definitely getting ahead of myself. Have you ever had a friend who you probably should’ve hated?”

    Carth thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I can think of one or two.”

    “I had a friend- Kylan- and I have no idea why we were friends. We didn’t agree on anything. He was always making fun of my funny hair colours, I was always teasing him about his wardrobe… and that’s not even getting into the political aspects.” She smiled slightly at the memory. “I think we had so many debates that eventually we just couldn’t deal with not debating with each other. It was a strange sort of relationship, but it worked.

    “It’s always great to be thrust into the world of adulthood when some major galactic disaster is brewing- I mean, we’d been of age for a few years, but we were still the enthusiastic young people trying to make a difference, you know? When you’re 23, the galaxy doesn’t care about your legal status, you’re still too young to fully grasp the situation. They said I hadn’t seen enough of the galaxy to understand. Maybe they were right.” A somewhat self-deprecating smile spread across her lips. “But I’m really wandering off-topic. Anyway, Kylan. He and I definitely did not see eye-to-eye on the whole Mandalorian issue. I won’t bore you with a transcript of our debates, but I’m sure you can imagine approximately how they went.”

    Carth scratched his head. “I’ve got something of an idea, yeah.”

    “Well, he and I worked together, Corellian Waterfront Safety Patrol. I always liked working with him, even though he constantly poked fun at my lack of correct usage of hand signals. And we would, of course, end up having our debates right out there on the beach, too.” She shook her head ruefully. “Stubbornness got us both in the end, I guess. One day I showed up to work, and he wasn’t there. He just left a box with his uniform, a holocube explaining where he went, and the ring.”

    “You mean he just up and left? Some friend.” Carth was unable to keep the contempt from his voice. If there was one thing he had no respect for, it was those who abandoned their friends.

    “He was a pretentious son of a shoikler.” She had to fight to keep the tears from welling over. “And I miss him so much.” Pausing to collect herself, she took a deep breath and continued. “He meant well, he said he wanted to fight to bring the peace. And I thought that when the Wars ended, he’d come home, but he didn’t. Maybe he ended up fighting in this new war. I don’t know, but whatever he was trying to achieve, I don’t think it worked.”

    The two of them sat silently for several moments, watching as the sun slowly sank behind the distant hills. Carth had to admit, he wouldn’t be impressed with her friend either, and if that was her only experience with a soldier, then it was hardly surprising she was against the war. Maybe she took it to an extreme, but at least she had her reasons. Force knew he did.

    “Listen…” Carth searched for the right words to say, but none seemed to come. “I’m sorry.”

    She waved him off. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

    “I know it’s not… but I do understand. Betrayal hurts.”

    Leiraya raised a curious eyebrow. “You have a sordid tale you’d like to amuse me with?”

    “Maybe another time. I think we’ve had enough story time for one day, and everyone’s probably wondering where we are.” Carth stood and extended a hand. “Can we call a cease-fire?”

    Smiling, Leiraya accepted the proffered hand and stood as well. “Only if you promise to tell me your depressing story.”

    Carth raised his free hand. “On my honour as a soldier.”

    Shaking his hand to seal the deal, she grinned. “Good. Now let’s go find everyone else. I’ll bet they have some decent food by now.”

    The duo made their way back to the Enclave, each feeling more at ease for the encounter. You find, Leiraya mused, that understanding can come from the least likely corner sometimes. It didn’t wipe away the pain, or clear out the bad memories, but for the first time since she’d left Corellia, she didn’t feel alone.

    It was, she decided, a distinctly good feeling.
     
  24. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Nathan! [face_love] He does kind of look like Ewan in that shot. [face_laugh]

    What is it with Councils and irritating masters? Is the requirement for being on the Council having your sense of humor and tolerance ripped out? :p But Leiraya's going to help out Aiden. Well, that should be interesting! If nothing else, Aiden will learn the very useful skill of defending oneself with a spoon

    The ring - very cool. Where can I get one? :p
     
  25. padawanlissa

    padawanlissa Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2005
    Lovely update, and thanks for the PM:)