Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Commander-DWH, Aug 15, 2005.
I love the Aiden and HK-47 bond you have starting.
i love HK!!!
Striker: There's a reason HK-47 is fairly universally beloved.
emerald: If there's one thing I get, it's DRL. Thanks for taking your time to read!
Rogue_Pilot: There are so many sub-missions, I have to keep going back to walkthroughs to make sure I'm getting the plot at least close to what it really was.
oqi: Brevity is the soul of wit, right?
princess: I forsee these two will become great friends.
Handmaiden_Azul: HK is made of awesome.
And now I give you a chapter, and I'll tell you, it was really hard to write towards the end. You'll see why.
For once, their plans went off without a hitch. Leiraya and Carth procured a vaporator from Czerka, and at a discounted price at that. The Chieftan was so pleased with the acquisition at no cost to himself that he happily relinquished his Gaffi stick- it wasn't like he didn't have any others to use. It was brought back to a normally robed Aiden, who then managed to procure a hunting permit from the now very sour-faced Czerka official, who hadn't exactly been serious, but figured she may as well keep her word, since he'd gone to all the trouble of actually getting the silly stick.
Carth and Leiraya, having done their part, were back in Anchorhead attempting to do something fun. He wasn't sure what they'd do, but Leiraya had told Carth straight-out that he wasn't allowed to go back to the ship to mope. Thus they took off, grinning over some inside joke about drop-kicking Jawas. This irritated him for reasons he couldn't even begin to define, so he calmed his mind by sending HK-47 with them.
And so Aiden found himself standing with Bastila and Canderous in the far reaches of the Dune Sea, facing down a large and rather ugly-looking cave. It was the only place in the region that seemed to be emanating the amount of dark energy produced from one of the Star Maps.
"[I knew we would meet again,]" an amused voice came from behind him. Aiden turned to see Komad Fortuna, the more polite of the hunters in the lodge standing behind him, smiling. "[Do you seek the Krayt Dragon as well?]"
Aiden blinked, then looked back into the cave. It would be his luck that the cave he and Bastila had felt most drawn to would house a Krayt Dragon. "Not for itself, no... but if it's blocking what we're after in that cave, then we're all for hunting it."
"[I do not know what you seek in that cave, but the Krayt is in there. I have been tracking it for months- it is my final quarry. After successfully hunting the Krayt Dragon, I will have achieved everything I ever wished as a hunter.]"
Aiden grimaced. This could definitely get ugly. "How do you plan on taking it?"
"[This is my problem- I cannot do it alone,]" Komad admitted grudgingly. "[When I saw you in the Dune Sea, I hoped that I might ask for your services. I have heard tell of your cunning and skill in battle, and it would be an honour to share this hunt with you.]"
Aiden turned to Bastila. "Have you ever killed anything this big?"
She shook her head. "Nothing this big is on Dantooine."
He turned back to Komad. "I don't suppose you have a plan for this, do you?"
Komad smiled. "[In point of fact, I do. I have a number of mines- any you might have can only help, and we must lure it forth. I fear it will not come running out just for me- it will only come if it senses that it is in danger.]"
"...And that's where we come in," Aiden finished for him. He frowned, not thrilled at the idea of goading a Krayt Dragon. "I don't know... what do you think, Bastila?"
"Well, you ought to be able to lure it out with your lightsaber," Bastila suggested slowly.
"I suppose so," Aiden agreed. It would be a simple trick to levitate it into the cave and put a scratch on the beast. So long as they stayed well out of harm's way as it came tearing out, he didn't suppose it was a bad plan at all. "Okay, then, we'll be happy to assist you."
Komad grinned brilliantly and they went about set
What? No! Kylan! What are you doing???????????????
Here I was, ready to comment on how like Lieraya it was to be complaining about megachains when the galaxy was in distress, and you threw that curve ball at me. And now, I'm in utter shock. Holy cow.....
At any rate. Good chapter. I can see why it was hard to write.
Great couple of chapters! Awesome twist at the end of this chapter; I didn't see it coming. The confrontation between Kylan and Leiraya was very intense. Can't wait for the next post!
No don't kill Kylan!!!!!
You should put a warning on this: Do not read around parents, likely to cause uber massive lecture on swearing.
Kylan! Why did you go dark? You moron! I really hope he pulls an Anakin, and decides that the Dark Side look just isn't him, though judging by your PM, it won't be pretty.
Damn it! You've made me really care about Lieraya with that last chapter, heaven knows I've felt the same betrayal. She's more then just a character now, she's a real person, something that I try and keep myself from. Damn it!
Thanks for the PM.
Gyah! Kylan, stop! Put Carht down this instant!
Oh, wow... this is gonna be good! Poor Leiraya!
Loved the scenes before, too. Poor Bastila, having to find her father like that. Awesome all around, DWH. Now please, post!
Yeah, that's all I got. Can't wait for more.
I just finished reading through this story and, noooo, evil cliffie!
It's cool to see Leiraya finally getting into some action. She's an unusal kind of character, but she kinda grows on ya. I like her colors-rather-than-black-and-white theory and her conversations with Carth.
I really like Aiden. I love his sense of humor, and the dress thing was awesome.
As for the game characters, HK is as funny as ever, and I adore all the Bastila/Canderous banter.
Looking forward to more!
May I be added to the PM list please?
AAAGH! I'm so sorry everyone, I was temporarily accosted by Darth Real Life, and was driven out of my writing rhythm. I'm determined to get back into it. But, at least the good news is that I have a super-impressive job interview lined up because I took three weeks of my life and devoted them to learning two new programming languages.
Anywhoo! Replies. Yes, I am capable of replying and not being a complete deadbeat.
Rogue_Pilot: Leiraya is, how shall we say... very focused on her goals. One of which is to rid the galaxy of Wal-Mart- er, Czerka.
JoE: Thanks for coming by! Sorry the gripping conclusion is so late.
Handmaiden_Azul: I reserve comment until after this chapter is posted.
emerald54: Umm... well, you might want to keep the parents out of earshot for this chapter, too, then. Consider yourself warned.
princess_of_naboo: And more is here! Sorry it took so long, but thanks for your patience!
oqi: I believe a DO NOT WANT is in order, here.
dark_jedi_lover: You may absolutely be added to my PM list. Consider yourself PMed.
Leiraya was quite certain she was trapped in a terrible nightmare. Last she checked, she'd been distracting one generally cranky pilot from the fact that his son was a Sith. Surely this whole scene was a manifestation of her darkest fears, and the heat was just getting to her. The very idea that Kylan would ever do something so stupid was incomprehensible. And when had she ever been the first one to draw a blade?
The thought of it unsettled her. For as out of character as it seemed, she also knew she had done it. And despite her wishful thinking, she knew she wasn't dreaming.
"You know, I'm impressed," Kylan commented. "I honestly never thought you'd pull a blade on anyone, much less me."
"Yeah, well, remember all those lectures I gave you about how people go off to war and it changes them?" Leiraya gestured pointedly with her lightsaber. "You know I was right, and this proves it."
"No, this proves you like Captain Courageous over there more than you like me," Kylan grinned.
"Now, don't you even start on that," Leiraya glowered. "Leave Carth out of it."
Kylan shrugged. "All I'm saying is, would you have so much as blinked aggressively at me if I hadn't done something to him?"
"Kylan, you're trying to capture someone on my crew! Who, by the way, is a very good fighter on his own."
"So why the show?" Kylan kept his blade level. "We could have just chatted until he came, and he could have done the fighting."
"Carth wouldn't have stood for that," Leiraya replied simply. "And you'd cut him to ribbons."
"So it is because of him." Kylan grinned wickedly. "Ahhh, and here we all thought that no one would ever crack the Moran shell. Figures he'd be ekster. You always did rebel against everyone."
Leiraya worked her jaw in silent frustration for a few moments. "Ekster has nothing to do with it."
"But will they say that when you bring him home? Assuming, of course," Kylan conceded, "that you survive this confrontation."
"I don't know where you get your delusions. Clearly your supplier has changed in the last few years."
"I'm not blind, and I know you better than you think," Kylan stated matter-of-factly.
"Do you?" Leiraya countered. "Not to play the victim here, but you kind of left. Quite a while ago."
"True," Kylan admitted. "But does that negate more than ten years of friendship?"
Leiraya's only answer was a slight scowl. Maybe he had hit closer to the mark than she wanted to let on. Still, she could tell he was trying to make her angry. He'd certainly done it enough times in their friendship, except there was usually a substantially less dramatic reason.
Kylan, in the meantime, stood his ground. Mirroring her, watching her warily. It was like a cruel parody of all the practice duels they'd shared as they trained. She knew a hundred directions in which the battle could go.
KYLAN!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! Poor Leiraya. I really wanted her to bring him back to the light side.
I like the conversation between Leiraya and Carth at the end. Especially Carth's sudden protectiveness. I do wonder what Leiraya would say if she knew that.
Good, if sad, chapter. Write faster!!!!
That was definately an unexpected turn of events. It will be interesting to see how this affects Aiden and Leiraya's interactions.
Poor girl. Her long-lost best friend shows up only to be evil and die.
Daww, Carth is such a sweetie.
Aww, poor Leiraya. That must've been heartbreaking for her. Poor girl.
You wrote their duel very well, DWH. And I felt very sad for her after. So kudos on that too.
I don't know whether to be angry, or sad for Leiraya, she's going to have some tough times to go through.
Humm... maybe I'll comment again when I'm more coherent.
Ok, this time, I caught up.
I discovered that one as soon as I started to explore the "before the saga" section, in search for KOTOR stories. I love KOTOR stories.
And yours is simply brilliant.
All flaterry aside, I really enjoy your writing, full of humour and very dynamic. Having also played my way through many full "LSM" games, I really enjoy the way you have twisted this story, inserting Leiraya into both the story and the characters interraction. it just flows smoothly, without contradiction.
Your rendering of Carth, Bastila, Mission and Co is excellent, and you added an edge to Carth that I like very much.
Leiraya is a very complex and interesting character. I like her style, her sharp tongue and the idea of a pacifist Jedi is quite appealing, though I can see that resolve starting to crack somehow.
And finally, I like the character of Aiden. He's very funny.
Given the direction the story has taken so far, I think I'll be your faithful reader until you complete the whole fiction.
I'd like to get a pm when you update if that's possible.
Keep it up, I really enjoy it.
Rogue_Pilot: I am writing! Writing like the wind! Writing so much, in fact, that I have an update in less than a month!
dark_jedi_lover: Yeah, beneath that gruff exterior, Carth is a softie. Not like he's one of my favourite SW guys or anything...
Striker: Thanks! I hate writing action sequences, so it's always good to hear when they turn out well.
emerald54: Yeah, I'm kind of putting her through the wringer right now, and I'll probably have to do something to make it up to her later. But she's a tough cookie. Thanks for reading!
Entropist: Thanks for the kind words, and reading all the way through the fic. The last thing I want is for this to turn into Yet Another Boring Retelling of the Game, so I really appreciate the feedback. Hopefully the rest of the story will live up to your expectations.
And now, in a timely fashion this time, I give you the next installment.
Aiden was hiding in the engine room. Presumably, he was checking the calibration on the sublight engines to make sure that everything was still in order after all this time, but truthfully, he had no idea what he was looking at. He could see valves, switches, circuitry, wires, and many components that he knew were supposed to be there. He assumed they worked, because the ship moved when Carth pulled the levers.
No, he was definitely hiding. He'd killed people, sure. He was a soldier, and he had been ever since the Mandalorian Wars. Reaching beneath his Jedi tunic, he pulled out the silver whistle he always carried with him. It was his Watchman's Whistle, given to him by his mother. She'd been an inspiration to everyone in the Junior Watchman training program, and his personal hero. He'd never planned on becoming a soldier.
He could still remember the day they got the call. He was on duty in the area around the Bridge. His mother had left two days previously, taking a fresh group of Junior Watchmen to their first year training on Commenor. They never made it. Before they reached their destination, they were caught in the middle of a Mandalorian assault, and the ship was destroyed. Someone managed to get on the comm to send a partial message to the home base, but it was of no use. Everyone on board died.
His younger sister, Briane, came to tell him. He'd practically known what she was going to say before she even said it. And that was when he'd decided to join the Republic military. No one, not even people he didn't like, should have to deal with such a slaughter. And that's the last news you ever expect to hear from your own little sister.
So he'd trained, and became one of the best damn soldiers in the Republic. In the early days, he tried to keep track of the body count, to keep things in perspective. The war hadn't ended before he stopped trying.
Killing was nothing new to him. Even before this mission, he'd taken more lives than he cared to tally. But this was the first time that he'd ever killed someone that perhaps he shouldn't have. To his dying day, he was quite sure he'd never forget the stunned look on Leiraya's face when she saw what he'd done.
"What are you doing, skulking back here?"
Aiden turned around quickly, and saw Bastila standing in front of him. "Oh... hi, Bas. I'm just... fixing... stuff."
"Right." Bastila sat down on a supply cylinder and looked at him skeptically. "You know, you're an unconvincing liar even without our bond."
Aiden set his hydrospanner down with an exasperated sigh. "Can I keep anything from you?"
"Probably," Bastila said reprovingly. "You're avoiding the issue, though."
"Damn right I am."
"Aiden," Bastila stood and looked him in the eye. "You killed a crew member's best friend."
"And the last thing I want is a lecture from you about it," Aiden replied tersely. "It's not like you've never killed a Sith before, Bas. Hell, you took down Revan, and he's the guy who started this mess we're in." He shook his head. She lo
It's nice to see that Leiraya is going to bounce back, though the timing with Karath bites really bad. Hopefully there'll be some sort of calming influence for Carth, though I wonder how Leiraya will fair with Aiden's revelation.
Hey, maybe Leiraya will get to use her spoon!
hose were two excellent and well-written conversations there, DWH, and necessary too. A lot of times, traumatic events are swept under the rug and moved on, but you made sure they were dwelt on and put into proper perspective. Nice.
And... uh-oh. I don't know who that guy is, but he sounds like trouble!
Jolee's story is sad! I like Carth's note. Very entertaining.
Good chapter, and it seems like you posted in record time, or am I just imagining things....?
Loved the last couple of updates. I definitely wasn't expecting Kylan's death, but you handled the fall-out well. I'm continually amazed by the way you manage to weave all these characters together, keeping them in-character throughout. You're working with a fairly large ensemble cast, yet no one ever feels lost in the shuffle. Great work.
I'm a bit surprised we get to the Leviathan part so... soon, but I guess you know where you're going.
I liked the scene with Kylan as well, very well rendered both for the reaction of Leiraya and Aiden.
And the aftermath was very nicely done as well. Jolee is just plain annoying, but I love the old coot! Carth shows much more sensitiveness than in the game... I like that.
On the whole, a very good update. I hope you'll post the next one as quickly as this one...
The Bastila/Aiden scene was cool(although if they're captured by the Leviathon, I guess that means we won't be seeing that one particular Bastila/male player scene then?). I've only played the game as a girl, but I've watched my brother play, and his conversations with Bastila were always awesome. To quote the game, she's so cute when she's embarrassed.
Carth's note was cute. One more thing to make him more lovable.(...as if I need more reasons to fangirl )
"Well, this may be news to you, but the Jedi don't stand for that kind of thing."