Before - Legends The Blue Side of the Force: Book I- Complements (9/28 - to find a mysterious planet)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Commander-DWH, Aug 15, 2005.

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  1. SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    Wow, this is great! ;) I love Leiraya and her general hippieness, and I especially liked "the Force, now available in amazing Technicolor!" It actually parallels a viewpoint of the Force I was working on for one of my fics that's still in the "idea" stage. And Aiden is hilarious, too--I don't know how you do it, but you made it seem like he really could be . . . a real person, and who he is. I'm impressed.

    And of course I love Carth. But I always love Carth.
  2. amidalachick Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Whenever I'm reading a story and fall behind, I always get caught up on a cliffhanger. OK, maybe that wasn't exactly a cliffhanger, but I still want to know what's next! :p

    Great updates! I [face_love] Aiden. Clumsiness is a very endearing trait. :D

  3. kotorchick Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2005
    star 4
    Ahem, how in the heck did I miss this update????? I have no idea. Anywya, th eplot is ptogressing rather well, and I can't wait to see more of Leiraya. Just out of curiousity, how would you pronounce it?
  4. Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    DarkMan77: Hey! Good to see you around again. :D Glad you're enjoying.

    Sakura: w00! The Force is way cooler in colour. It's good to know that I'm not just some crazy person with an off-the-wall theory. Anyhow, glad you're enjoying, and major happiness for the Carth love.

    Well, hey, you don't even have to wait that long for an update. ;) Happy caught-uppedness and all that jazz.

    kotorchick: You delinquent child! [face_shame_on_you] :p I'll forgive you, this time.

    And it's prounounced "Leh-RAY-ah," or some similar variant, depending on your region, accent, and how fast you choose to say it.

    And now, in honour of the Fluffmeister's birthday, I present you with the next installment!

    Chapter Eleven

    The Guardian hadn?t been kidding, much to the annoyance of Aiden and company.

    The proving grounds were simple, but nasty. One battle ?droid on each side- one of fire, and one of ice. Each one guarded a computer, and each one took all four of them to defeat. No wonder Nemo didn?t make it out alive. Aiden knew for certain that he could not have defeated the ?droids alone, nor could anyone else. Bastila was a cunning warrior, but she tended to rely on her skill in battle meditation at times. Unfortunately, battle meditation can have no effect on those without a will, so she had to rely on her swordplay. Leiraya was fast, faster than he would have thought. And graceful, to boot. But she lacked brute force, and one could not simply finesse past one of these ?droids. Carth was invaluable on ranged weapons, but blasters alone would not be enough. And Aiden himself lacked enough experience to be able to single-handedly take down even one of the ?droids, let alone two.

    It was definitely a good thing that they?d brought extra people.

    The computers, once they figured out how to communicate with them, asked a relatively simple question before it would let them by. Aiden supposed it was simple because after the hell they put you through with the ?droid, your brain might not be thinking in a straight line yet. He knew for certain that he was slightly dazed after fighting two of them, even with the help of the others.

    Having finished either side, the four of them stood in front of the remaining door. ?So,? Bastila said, still breathing heavily, ?this is it??

    Aiden nodded. ?That?s what it looks like.?

    He reached forward, pushing the centre square in. The door lurched open, revealing another large room. A singular object sat in the middle, identical to the one in his vision.

    ?What is it?? Leiraya squinted at it curiously.

    ?I don?t know,? Aiden replied, pressing the button he had seen Revan press in his vision. He stepped back as three trapezoidal fins opened, allowing a strange projection to float in midair. It was strangely beautiful, a swirl of blue, yellow, and white lights, but he had no idea what it was.

    ?These look like hyperspace coordinates,? Bastila observed. ?See, here?s Kashyyyk? and Tatooine? Manaan? and Korriban.?

    ?Is that all the coordinates??

    ?Well? yes and no.? Bastila looked at it more closely. ?Those are all the readable ones. There?s at least one more that?s partially corrupted.?

    ?Corrupted?? Aiden looked around the room. ?How old do you suppose this place is, anyway??

    ?Older than the Jedi Order. Perhaps older than the Republic.? Bastila shook her head, as though to clear it. ?We should leave this place, though. This? thing, this Star Map is an artifact of the Dark Side. It is no wonder that the kath hounds are so aggressive in this area.?

    Aiden was not about to argue the point, he could feel it too. It seeped under his skin like snow blown beneath the layers of a warm jacket.

    ?I agree,? Leiraya nodded, looking nervously at the map as though it might suddenly explode. She received a couple of strange looks, as it was likely the first time that she and Bastila had agreed on anything, but it was not the time for idle chat.

    ?Let?s go, then.? Aiden t
  5. RK_Striker_JK_5 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    So, they're tracking Revan and Malak.

    Ouch on the knee! Poor Leiraya. Although it would've been a good idea to tell the others about that beforehand.

    I also question the wisdom of the council. man, between these doofuses and the prequel Jedi, I'm convinced you have to get a lobotomy before being able to join.

    Great post, DWH.
  6. oqidaun Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 5
    You're right the Force does taste better in color!

    Poor Carthy Brown, I think all of his suspicions are in the right place, but no one is listening.
    I don't know what the Council is doing, but I don't think they're using their heads.

    ?Wait, whoa- who is this?? Carth looked between Aiden and Juhani with a look of confusion on his face.
    ?This is Juhani,? Aiden explained. ?The Jedi we found in the grove.?
    ?You mean the one that attacked you?? Carth?s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

    --I personally am not in the habit of taking people on trips who've attempted to kill me at one point. Say what you will about being possessed and all, but I think there should be a grace period--kind of a post possession probationary period.

    I think some day Bastila is going to make a very good Jedi--probably end up on the Council.

    The knee:
    Knees are important. If you have one that occassionally goes out, it is a good idea and probably a bit of valuable info for your crew mates to keep everyone abreast of the situation.

    Poor Carth. He suffers from foot-in-mouth disease.

    =D= Great update!

    Good luck with finals!
  7. sdhfs Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2004
    star 4
  8. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    I share Carth's distrust. I mean, really, wouldn't you? :p The Council goes on and on about the Dark Side, but apparently once you come back, everything's a-okay.

    Or he just has a paranoia problem, but you can't really blame him for that. [:D]

    A trick knee! I foresee many problems arising from this. And maybe it was just me, but I really liked how Carth carried Leiraya to her bunk. Awwww. [face_love]
  9. Darth_Scroobius Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 1, 2005
    star 2
    ?There?s a comforting thought. I don?t suppose you considered where this beast will have to refuel, did you??

    LONE STARR What's that?

    BARF I don't know. I don't know. We're losing
    power. Why? 'Cause we're outta gas.

    LONE STARR We must've burned it up in hyperactive.

    BARF I told you we should've put more than five
    bucks worth in.

    I love your lighthearted approach to everything here. You are also managing to stick in game dialog in such a way that no one notices the difference (except for me, but I'm special [Note: not short-bus special]). I sometimes forget how smarmy that dialog can be. Very nice pair of updates.
  10. Lovely-in-Orange Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2005
    star 3
    Oww about the knee! You really bring out that aspect of Carth I like - He really cares but yet ends up saying completely the wrong thing and ticking everyone off. [face_laugh] I liked Mission and Z's exchange afterwords too.
  11. padawanlissa Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
  12. kotorchick Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2005
    star 4
    Again, wonderful. More of my favorite flyboy, apperances. And Leiraya. Just out of curiosity, wasn't there another bit where we saw this happen and she was in the 'fresher? Just thought I remembered that,, or I coulod once again be hallucinating.

    Carth is still my favorite guy. :) I love him.
  13. SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2005
    star 4
    Great post! I mean really great! =D= And good luck on finals. I'm just about to suffer through that, myself.

    My absolute favorite line, though it was a hard choice--Aiden supposed it was simple because after the hell they put you through with the ?droid, your brain might not be thinking in a straight line yet. [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That made me laugh so hard my roommate looked at me funny. 8-}

    Oqidaun: You're right. He does suffer from foot-in-mouth disease. I've never seen it phrased better.

    JadeSolo: It wasn't only you. [face_love] That was so cute . . . . Awwwwww.

    Lovely-in-Orange: My favorite aspects of Carth as well.

    Carth's my favorite guy, too, and you're writing him so well, Commander. :)
  14. obi_webb Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    fantastic job commander!
    as usual, everything was very well done but my favorite part and the reason i love this story so much is shown when juhani was introduced to everyone.. there was your wonderful dialogue, always great to read, and usually kind of playfully lighthearted... but after all that we see that when juhani is by herself she is overcome with emotion and burst into tears..
    that part had lots of impact for me! poor juhani has went through a lot!
    you always can mix the humorous moments with the potent drama that is in this story so, =D=
  15. Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    Holy cow! O:) [face_cow] I'm alive! And here y'all probably thought I forgot you.. ;)

    Striker: Well, mostly just Malak, as Malak betrayed his former Master quite a while ago. It's buried in the narrative somewhere, but Revan's been well-neutralized by this time.

    Yeah, more people could probably stand to listen to Carth, but I imagine they think he's just too angsty. :p But, he has a good heart.

    sdhfs: Thanks! Good to see a new reader stopping by. :D

    JadeSolo: I mean... yeah, he has a point. Never could be denied, even the first time I played the game. He's sharper than he looks in that orange flight jacket. :D

    Scroobius: Ahh, Spaceballs. Makes me happy, it does. So craptastically 80's.

    Lovely-in-Orange: I aim to capture the essence of Carth in prose. :D

    padawan mine: Thank ye!

    kotorchick: Yeah, I kinda reworked and rearranged that piece, 'cause I ended up liking the dynamic it creates. More on that as Kashyyyk progresses.

    Sakura: Thanks! Glad your enjoying, and hope you got through finals in one piece, too.

    obi_webb: Thank you kindly. *bows* Hope you enjoy the next part as much. :)

    Never fear- I survived the most hectic semester of my entire life, and now I have the next month to get ahead and write my brains out. Hooray for Winter Term- animation + fanfic = recipe for much happy fun. :D

    In any case, I have the next chapter for y'all. Enjoy!

    Chapter Twelve

    A full day went by. Mission managed to find a pair of crutches in the medical bay, and Bastila kept on top of the ice supply. Leiraya tried to remain cheerful for their sake, but she wasn't happy about her knee. It was bad. Worse than it had been in years. Teach me to not stand in precarious positions, she thought self-deprecatingly. Look where it got me this time. She'd been so careful, taught herself how to fight without straining the joint, and now that there was no turning back... she'd blown it. Quite literally.

    Caught up in her own distress, she almost didn't notice Carth enter the room. Straightening, she looked at him dourly. ?So, come to yell at me some more??

    ?No, but an explanation would be nice.? He scuffed his boots on the floor and looked straight at her. ?I mean, I don't know what they taught you back on Corellia, but that sort of thing is important for your fellow soldiers- mission companions- whatever- to know.?

    Leiraya closed her eyes and leaned back, a bitter smile on her face. ?I never meant for it to be a problem.?

    ?Well, it is.? He crossed his arms. ?So are you going to explain, or am I going to have to sit here until you do?? He plopped down on a bench opposite her bunk. ?T3's got the ship, and I'm in no hurry.?

    ?You're a veritable ray of happiness today,? she sighed inwardly, then conceded. ?Fine. You want a story? I'll give you a story. No drama, though. I can't do much to make the story more exciting.

    ?When I was about fifteen standard years old, I was pretty heavily involved in music. Played with a local orchestra, all that stuff. Well, a friend was driving me to a gig the next city over one day, and her speeder was broadsided. Fortunately, neither of us were killed. Unfortunately,? she patted her knee gently, ?the knee, she's not so happy anymore.?

    ?That bad, just from a speeder accident??

    ?The other driver was breaking about ten laws at the time it happened. The joint was completely shattered, and it's a miracle they were able to put it back together at all.? She shook her head. ?That's why I prefer a living mount, when I can get one. A live beast at least cares if you run into anything else.?

    ?Well,? Carth paused for a moment. ?That was... a fairly simple explanation. But it doesn't explain why you didn't tell any of us.?

    She sighed. ?It's been good for several months now. I was hoping that perhaps it was completely healed. Besides, have you ever had a permanent injury??


    ?Then you probably
  16. padawanlissa Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
    Yay, an update!! That was great=D=
  17. obi_webb Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    fantastic update commander!
    i loved leiraya and carth talking at the beginning. i really like the chemistry between those two. and her reasoning for not telling about her injury was nice.
    the way you ended that part..
    ?I...? he trailed off, then shook his head, as though to shake off bad memories. ?I could never think less of you for that.?
    very powerful! especially if you know carth's background and what he was getting at at the end..
    and cool hearing more of aiden's background!
  18. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    **bows deeply**
    Greetings Master.
    Well, I have finally gotten the time to catch up on your story. It is great! I really like the relationship between Aiden and Leiraya. Can't wait to see how their adventures play out.

  19. Lovely-in-Orange Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2005
    star 3
    That's good reasoning for her not telling about her knee injury. She's probably right about it being used as an excuse to leave her behind! People can overestimate how much something like that is a liability when they hear about someone having had an injury. And I liked what Carth told her at the end. He's being obscure and confusing, but that just makes it all the more touching that he sees the similarities to his own past. Interesting background on the Watchmen too.
  20. kotorchick Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2005
    star 4
    Goodness gracious! I'm loving this. Though I have never quite connected the dots when it comes to the Water Saftey stuff and Jedi training... Oh well. Conversation between Carth and Leiraya was awesome, it was perfectly in character for them. I also recognized bits for the piece you wrote for the disiblities challenge, and I always liked that one.
  21. Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    padawanlissa: Glad you enjoyed! :)

    obi_webb: Oh, Aiden's background has so much groundwork, and I feel bad that I've only mentioned it in passing up 'til now. I expect bonding over being the mean safety people to ensue. :p

    Hey, you made it! Glad to have you as a reader, and I'm glad you're enjoying the read. Hang on, it could be a bumpy ride...

    Lovely-in-Orange: It's a sad truth- I've avoided major injuries myself, but I have two or three friends with them, and I can see how frustrated they sometimes get. And it's something people do without thinking, too, so it's good just to get the viewpoint out there (for which I must thank Idrelle, else this particular plot point may never have materialized).

    The water safety/Jedi connection... it's a discipline thing. And training. I've always thought that being a lifeguard would be good practice for a Jedi, since you've got to keep track of large numbers of people, their relationship to each other, and respond to a situation within 10 seconds. This would go doubly for a waterfront situation, where you can't always see what's going on, but a Jedi could sense what was going on beneath the surface. I hate guarding waterfront for that very reason. But yeah, that's the connection. :D

    Hopefully I'll have something more for you in a much shorter timeframe. :p No more three-week hanging periods for a while...
  22. RK_Striker_JK_5 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    I felt so bad for Leiyara when she talked with Carth, there. *Hugs* Stupid driver. *Sends legion of Sith after him*
  23. oqidaun Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 5
    ?What I wouldn't give for a one day pass into his head...? she shook her head ruefully.

    I really liked the exchange between Leiraya and Carth, very well done.

    Your characters are always so compelling. This is such a fun read. Great work!
  24. Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    Striker: Leiraya appreciates the support. :)

    oqidaun: Thanks! It's fun to write, too, so it's good to know I'm not the only one having fun.

    And now, the first Blue Side update of the new year, slipped under the doorway before I go back to school. :D

    Chapter Thirteen

    Zaalbar stood outside the Ebon Hawk looking more unsettled than he had during Aiden's acquaintance with him. The Wookiee scanned the area suspiciously, looking as though he didn't quite know what to make of the place anymore.

    ?Something wrong, Zaalbar??

    The Wookiee roared softly and shook his head. ?[It has just been some time since I have been here.]?

    ?Well, I'm going to need you, pal. I know my way around here like I know my way around... well... somewhere that I'd get really lost in.? Aiden made a face. ?You know what I mean.?

    Zaalbar looked amused, or at least, Aiden thought he looked amused. Before he could ask, however, sounds of bickering came down the loading ramp.

    ?You're in no condition to be wandering around Kashyyyk,? Carth's voice came first.

    ?I concur,? Bastila's voice joined in. ?You should be taking care of your knee, not pushing yourself harder. We can try to find a cane to bring back to you.?

    ?I don't need you two babying me.? Leiraya came swinging down the ramp on her crutches. ?I'm not staying on that ship forever, and the exercise is good for me.?

    ?We're not babying anyone.? Bastila placed her hands on her hips in exasperation. ?Aiden, try to make her see reason.?

    ?Oh, no you don't.? She adjusted her crutches. ?No fair playing the 'she's being unreasonable' card. Next thing you're going to tell me is that I'm overreacting.?

    Carth crossed his arms. ?Don't tempt me.?

    ?Hey now, let's not get snippy,? Aiden interjected. ?What's the problem here??

    ?They,? Leiraya emphatically stated, ?are trying to keep me cooped up on that ship whilst they get to wander the famed forests of Kashyyyk. I like trees. I'd like to see these trees and get to know them. I also need a cane, which is a tangential benefit of being able to leave.?

    ?However,? Bastila interrupted, ?She's not exactly in any sort of condition to go for extended walks.?

    ?Do I look like I'm putting much weight on this thing?? Leiraya scowled. ?Didn't I tell you guys I know when not to push it??

    ?All right, all right.? Aiden sighed. ?Leiraya, you can come along.?

    She grinned. ?Excellent, I-?

    ?I'm not finished,? Aiden continued. ?Carth is coming, too. Someone's got to have your back covered if something nasty happens.?

    She grimaced slightly, but nodded. ?All right, I guess that's reasonable.?

    ?Bastila, I want you to stay here and make sure nobody harms the ship. Also,? he added, almost as an afterthought, ?see if you can keep Canderous out of trouble.?

    Bastila looked somewhat less than happy with his decision, but she nodded in assent. ?Easier said than done.?

    ?I have complete confidence in you,? Aiden winked at her roguishly.

    Ignoring the wink, she merely raised her eyebrows ever so slightly. ?Whatever you say.? With that, she turned and walked back up the ramp, trying not to look like she was disappointed to be left on the ship with nothing to do besides babysit a Mandalorian warrior. Sighing, she rounded the corner and nearly ran into Juhani, who was rushing down the corridor at record speed.

    ?Bastila,? she gasped in surprise, then quickly regained her composure. ?We are not alone.?

    ?I beg your pardon?? She looked skeptically at the Cathar. ?Of course we're not, I know there are others around...?

    ?No,? Juhani shook her head. ?I mean to say, we have a stowaway.?

    * * *

    Meandering down the way, Aiden couldn't help but notice that there were almost as many humans as there were Wookiees on the walkway. This did not fit his profile of the planet. Kashyyyk was almost completely arboreal, and extremely dangerous for humanoids.

    ?Does this seem strange to you?? He looked questioningly at Carth.

    ?More along the l
  25. RK_Striker_JK_5 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Whoa. That Czerka sounds like a bad group of thugs. Leiyara's right, but so were the others. Tricky business, that.

    The'te off to find the star map, the wonderful star map of Kashyyyk! ;) Great post, DHW. Up!
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