Before The Blue Side of the Force: Book I- Complements (9/28 - to find a mysterious planet)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Commander-DWH, Aug 15, 2005.

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  1. Lovely-in-Orange Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2005
    star 3
    ?I'm not going to hobble around on a cane that supports slavery!? Hahaha! What a great line. It suits her perfectly.
  2. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    fantastic update!:cool:
    i loved when aiden told basila to stay behind and keep canderous out of trouble! and then leiraya's line about not buying a cane that supports slavery! a very interesting point, and a valid one, but the fact that aiden is trying his best to keep everyone calmed down and not doing a very good job of it makes if funny!
    =D=
  3. Amerial_Gi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2005
    star 1
    I'm dang lucky I wandered to Before. *mumbles* I"m on my ban period right now from the CT trivia challenge, and though it should be lifted by now, it isn't. Oh well... This is kotorchick, by the way.

    Anyway, great chapter. The bit with Czerka made me hate them even more, though I was never a fan of theirs. Go Big Z! He's definatly not a madclaw in my book. Bastila watching over a certain Mandolorian reminded me of From the Ashes (the fic with the Bastila/Cando pairing), bu that rougish wink from Aiden.... hm... :) Oh, I did love how Carth had to be thto watch out for Leiraya- so cute!

    The cane bit- absolutly perfect. The fight at the end was also excellent, and Aiden has no idea what he's messing with, especially witht he bits of Leiraya's past we've seen in your one-shots. Grrrrrr.
  4. oqidaun Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 5
    Beautiful!

    Again, your characters are just so gol'darn likeable.
    This whole exchange was wonderful.

    ?Well... we were rather trying to find a place that would sell a cane-?

    ?No, we weren't.? Leiraya was still glaring at Farsik. ?And even if this gentleman said they carried them, I wouldn't buy it if they paid me.?

    ?Leiraya, are you sure this is-?

    ?I'm not going to hobble around on a cane that supports slavery!?

    ?Slavery?? Farsik snorted. ?Inflammatory language. It can hardly be slavery when they're little more than brutes.?

    ?Brutes?? She replied incredulously. ?Let me tell you, mister-?


    I really liked Leiraya's comments about war--size doesn't matter, folks still die. Very true.
    Poor Aiden has his hands full.


    Who's the stowaway????

    =D= Eagerly awaiting the next update.
  5. Commander-DWH Shiny Costuming & Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    Striker: I have a low opinion of Czerka, and it's not just because I go to a happy hippie school. :p When you get around to playing, you'll see I'm really not exaggerating.

    Lovely-in-Orange:
    Thanks! That may very well be one of my favourite lines of hers thus far.

    obi_webb: Glad you're enjoying. :)

    kotorchick in disguise: It's true, Aiden has no idea what he's dealing with, nor does Carth. More on that in my upcoming Dueling Circle challenge response... that I need to write soon. :D

    oqidaun: The stowaway is an enigma! For now. :) And yeah, Leiraya isn't responding well to the Czerka situation. Can't say I blame her, though.

    And now... I need to play Kashyyyk again to reorient myself to the situation. :p So good to be back with my own lovely desktop. *hugs computer*

    Minor Clarification!


    Since a couple of people have asked, this story is slightly AU, but not enough to make it a true AU since events still wind up as they ought to. So if you were wondering whether this was AU or canon, we'll stick with canon. :)

    Thanks all for your replies and continued support. It really does mean a lot to me to know people are enjoying my humble little endavour.
  6. Zandoran_Celix Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2005
    star 5
    I just finished this and let me tell you, it is beyond a great experience. Playing KOTOR was good, but this is great. You have taken KOTOR and given it life beyond what many can see. i enjoy the seeing what goes on beyond the missions and what not.

    Your dialogue fits every Character and the situations are as I'd see them reacting. Very good. =D=

    I look forward to seeing more.
  7. amidalachick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Poor Leiraya with her knee situation. Ouch.

    ?That could be potentially awkward,? Carth agreed.

    [face_laugh] Yay for understatement.

    Great posts! =D=
  8. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    ?What I wouldn't give for a one day pass into his head...? she shook her head ruefully.

    Oooh, me too! [face_batting] I'm loving every bit of Leiraya and Carth's interactions.

    The Czerka reps make me very angry. I hope they get what they deserve! Who knows, maybe it'll be a "necessary" part of finding the Star Map. [face_mischief] And Bastila babysitting a Mandalorian - something about that is just too wild. [face_laugh]

    Can you PM me next time you update? I'd appreciate it!
  9. kotorchick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2005
    star 4
    Congrats DWH on your multiple noms! Hun, you totally deserve it.
  10. WyoJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2005
    star 4
    I'll echo kotorchick... Congrats on your noms. Definitely deserved. This is a great fic with great insight into the character's personalities. Just great.

    Cheers,
    Wyo
  11. Commander-DWH Shiny Costuming & Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    Holy cow, guys, I've gotta start with thanks for all the noms. This story is going into the awards with a grand total of seven nominations, and I can't tell you how honoured I am that you guys like it that much. :) I only hope that the story will continue to be equally as enjoyable for everyone involved.

    Zan: Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm glad that you can see the life behind the characters- the game's fantastic but you can definitely tell there's a lot going on beneath the surface.

    amidalachick: Understatement is one word for it. :p Glad you enjoyed!

    JadeSolo: Consider yourself added to the PM list of d00m! And as for Czerka, well... you'll see. [face_mischief]

    kotorchick and WyoJedi: Again, thank you so very much. :) It really is wonderful to see support for the KOTOR era, and I'm glad you can enjoy my little (or perhaps not so little) take on the galaxy as a whole.

    And now for an update! Hooray!

    Chapter Fourteen

    ?Stowaway?? Bastila blinked twice and shook her head. ?What do you mean, stowaway??

    ?I mean,? Juhani said with a hint of impatience, ?that there is an intruder onboard. I think there has been since we left Dantooine. Someone's been eating the emergency food supplies, and I keep hearing noises.?

    Bastila looked over Juhani's shoulder, then back at her. ?Come on.?

    The two women made their way back to the cargo hold where, sure enough, the seal on the emergency supplies had been broken. ?Who do you think could have done this??

    ?I do not know,? Juhani shrugged. ?Whoever it is must be very good at hiding.?

    ?Camouflage...? Bastila mused out loud. ?If I were trying to hide on a spaceship, what would I try to look like??

    ?Well, whoever it is did not choose to hide in the storage containers. I already checked them.?

    Bastila peered around the room and started to softly walk towards the supply shelves. At the bottom were several stacks of blankets piled rather sloppily. Reaching out, she pulled the top blanket away-

    -revealing a young girl, no older than nine years old.

    ?No jurkadir!? she almost shrieked, and Bastila backpedaled in shock.

    ?What is she saying?? Juhani asked.

    ?I wouldn't be the one to know,? Bastila replied, and turned back to the girl, speaking slowly. ?We aren't going to hurt you.?

    ?Jetii? Dar'jetti?? The girl's eyes were wide with fright, and she pointed at Bastila's lightsaber, swinging from her belt.

    ?It's a lightsaber,? Bastila enunciated. ?I'm not going to hurt you. What are you doing here??

    ?Tion verd??

    Bastila stood up straight and rubbed her eyes. ?I have no idea what she's saying, Juhani. How are we going to deal with this??

    Juhani opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, the voice of Canderous came behind them. ?Udesil, ad'ika.?

    Bastila whirled around in shock. ?Mandalorian? We've picked up a Mandalorian child??

    ?I doubt it,? Canderous looked at the girl still hiding beneath the blankets. ?Her Mando'a is fragmented and somewhat bastardized, so I imagine she was a captive of Mandalorians for some time, but she managed to escape. Ori midala,? he winked at the girl.

    ?What are you telling her?? Bastila eyed the Mandalorian warrior suspiciously.

    ?If you must know, I was telling her she should calm down, and that she was very clever.? Canderous knelt down and held out his hand. ?Uldesiir, burc'ya.?

    The girl looked at him with a good deal of fear still in her eyes. ?Mando'ad! Shukur...?

    Canderous smiled, perhaps the kindest expression Bastila had ever seen on the warrior's face. ?Verd ori'shya beskar'gam.? He held out his hand once more, and the girl, after several long moments, accepted. He pulled her up gently and patted her on the shoulder. ?Ori'jate,? he smiled. ?Ori'jate.?

    ?So what do we do now?? Bastila looked at the odd sight of the Mandalorian with a child.

    ?We take her back to Dantooine when we get the chance, I suppose? Canderous shrugged. ?Can't think of anything else w
  12. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    Hmm. A stowaway. Loved canderous there, too. A hugfest? LOL! I now have an image of him in tie-died armor. :p

    Aaw, poor Leiraya. And poor Carth, too. Damnable corporate slugs. Nice little convo they had.
  13. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    great update commander! i thought it was cool seeing a gentler canderous for a bit! that suprised me!
    and it was a really nice moment when leiraya and carth hugged.
    another great piece of writing!
    =D=
  14. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    [face_love] :_| [face_love]

    Canderous lifted the girl up and set her atop his shoulders. ?I've reached my 'cute' quota for the day.?

    Canderous is adorable, no matter how much he tries to deny it!

    Having read your other vig, it just makes this post even sadder for me. And Carth lost his family! Please tell me you wrote something about that. [face_mischief]

    Your "We'll see..." means so much more now. :p
  15. kotorchick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2005
    star 4
    You kept refering to your other works. Obviously the vig about Skylar, but I also saw the AU you did that had Carth's wife in the army (forgive my memory- I keep wanting to call her Melena, but that's Wicked). I can see Carth and Leiraya growing ever closer through what seems to be totally opposite experiences. it' absolutly beautiful. Especialy how slowly they grow and become closer. Cando was still absolutly so CUTE here too! He put the little girl on his shoulders! AW!
  16. amidalachick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Awww! So much love in this chapter! [face_love] :p

    Seriously, that was really great. The little girl, Leiraya and Carth getting locked in the hut to work things out, Leiraya and Carth's stories about their experiences...and the hug at the end. [face_love] I loved it all.
  17. Lovely-in-Orange Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 21, 2005
    star 3
    Canderous lifted the girl up and set her atop his shoulders. ?I've reached my 'cute' quota for the day.?

    Bastila exchanged an amused look with Juhani before following him out of the hold. ?Oh, I don't think you have at all...?
    [face_laugh] I liked the part with Canderous, I always suspected he was sweeter than he let on.

    I loved the hug at the end, especially how Leiraya asked him first. There's so much different about she and Carth and yet they've been through some similar experiences.
  18. oqidaun Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 5
    Emotional rollercoaster, that one was! Wow.

    I think I need a hug.

    You add so much depth to each of your characters with each passing chapter. Bravo, as always!

    [:D]
  19. Commander-DWH Shiny Costuming & Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    Striker: Someday, I am going to draw a picture of that, and when I do, I will post it in this thread first. :p

    obi_webb: Heh, no one-dimensional Canderous Ordos in this story. ;) Glad you're enjoying.

    JadeSolo: I haven't yet written about much of Carth's backstory, but believe me, I'm working on it. What little I have is sitting in a Word document on my computer, and I'm really looking forward to having the time to write it one of these days.

    kotorchick: The vig you are referring to would be A Pair of Sparkling Eyes, the AU I wrote for one of the Fluffster's Ridiculous challenges. And yeah, that's basically how it happened for this story, but swap Carth and Morgana. Except I'm not sure I'm keeping the name Morgana, 'cause I'm pretty sure that's fanon and not canon, and I've never been a fan of the name. *shrugs* Whatev, I'll figure it out when I get there.

    amidalachick: I guess I was just feeling the love when I wrote it. :D Glad you enjoyed.

    Lovely-in-Orange: I have a suspicion Canderous is about to get a lot more fun to write. :D

    oqidaun: Aww, here, have a hug. [:D]

    As always, thanks to all for taking the time to review, and I hope to be not terribly delayed in getting the next post up. :)
  20. padawanlissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
    Great update=D= I loved Canderous and the stowaway. That was so cute!
  21. Commander-DWH Shiny Costuming & Props Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 3, 2003
    star 4
    padawanlissa: Thank you much!

    And now, it's a little on the short side, but here I have another chapter for you.

    This chapter sponsored by the planning committe of the first annual "Where the Heck is All the Snow?" Ball. :D

    Chapter Fifteen

    Aiden sighed heavily as he closed the door behind him. He probably did need to be in there, if for no other reason than to make it clear that yelling at every Czerka official they met was not an option, but he had other things to worry about. That, and one can only listen to ranting about corporate oppression for so long. However, there were too many things that didn?t add up and weren?t making sense. He hoped that Zaalbar would be willing to talk if the others weren?t around, else he would be floundering around for quite a bit longer.

    Zaalbar seemed to pick up on this. ?[You wish for me to explain things?]?

    ?Yes,? Aiden paced back and forth. ?There?s too many things that don?t quite make sense. Why are these people here? Why do the Wookiees put up with it? And what did you do to get yourself exiled?? Seeing the irritated glow in the Wookiee?s eyes, he hastily added, ?No offense, of course. I just want to know what I?m going to be up against if I have to defend you.?

    Zaalbar sighed. ?[It is a long story, but I will make it short. My father was the leader of the village when I left. I thought he was very strong, and very wise. I was wrong. My brother, Chuundar, held sway over him. He deceived our father, making it look like he had nothing to do with the coming of the Czerka slavers.]? He growled angrily. ?[I confronted Chuundar, but he laughed at me and called our father a doddering old fool. In my anger, I? I struck him with my claws.]? He hung his head. ?[There are some lines you do not cross.]?

    ?So you were exiled??

    ?[Yes,]? he nodded. ?[Some madclaws live forever in the Shadowlands, but I did not wish to remain on the planet. I knew that, had I stayed, I would have been taken by the slavers. Chuundar would have seen to it.]?

    ?And so you left, and found yourself on Taris.? Aiden nodded slowly. ?They?re not going to be happy you?re back.?

    ?[Not at all,]? Zaalbar agreed. ?[They would be within their rights to kill me, I think.]?

    ?Oh. Great.? Not only did he have to deal with the Big Bad Corporation, but now even the Wookiees were probably going to be against him. He really knew how to pick his companions, didn?t he? ?Well, whatever happens, we?re on your side.?

    ?[For that I thank you, though I do not think it will do much good.]?

    ?Little support never hurts.?

    Zaalbar could only roar his agreement. ?[That it does not.]?

    * * *

    Canderous sat in the Ebon Hawk?s lounge, trying to teach the girl to speak Basic. So far, he?d gotten her to understand ?ship,? ?food,? and ?T3-M4,? and found out that her name was Sasha. Having never taught anyone a language before, however, he was having a bit of an interesting time of it.

    It also didn?t help that he could tell Bastila was watching him, and he knew the Jedi princess was very much amused by what she was seeing.

    Something about giving her that kind of satisfaction just grated on him.

    Sasha turned out to be a fairly quick study, though, and after a mere few hours work, she could skip about, introduce herself to everyone, and ask where the ?fresher was, among a few more basic things. Cute as all hell, he would grudgingly admit. And bright as any child he?d ever worked with. Not that he?d ever worked with many children? mostly just the boys, getting them ready for training. Now there was a worthwhile passtime. It?d been years since he?d worked with the young recruits, but there was nothing quite like knowing that you were the one to start a great warrior on his proper path.

    His eyes followed Sasha as she peered into T3-M4?s receptor eye, and jumped back when he blatted at her. In retribution, she poked the small ?droid, who whistled in protest and tried to roll over her toes. Sasha yelped, ran across the room, and loo
  22. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    great stuff commander! certainly no one dimensional canderous in THIS fic! i really enjoyed this bit..
    Not that he?d ever worked with many children? mostly just the boys, getting them ready for training. Now there was a worthwhile passtime. It?d been years since he?d worked with the young recruits, but there was nothing quite like knowing that you were the one to start a great warrior on his proper path.
    i suppose there's a REASON this was nominated for best ensemble! it certainly deserves that award! you deal with lots of characters, and you do all of them so well!
    now it seems aiden and the gang will have their work cut out for them next chapter! i look forward to it!
    =D=
  23. RK_Striker_JK_5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    star 7
    So, Zaalbar's a madclaw on Kashyyyk? Hmm. Not good. And Sasha was quite CUTE! in that post! Teach her well, Canderous.

    Evil cliffie, too! But the Jedi mind trick was cool.
  24. padawanlissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
    The part with Canderous and Sasha was so sweet=D=
  25. Zandoran_Celix Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 16, 2005
    star 5
    Nice updates......really giving KOTOR a good representation.
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