Before The broken circle

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Tevase2, Mar 18, 2011.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    So. Obiwan WAS kidnapped adn this is the aftermath?

    Hmmm...will there be explanations of why he was kidnapped and what was done to him, and his rescue?

    Of course, I figure it was Xanatos who did it, with Obi having the broken circle dreams.
  2. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Obi-Wan was dragging his feet towards his next lesson, so far he had been having a terrible day. People kept looking at him like he was on his death bed and to tell the truth he was on the path of shouting at someone. He felt completely depressed, it had been about five days since Qui-Gon had left for the mission and Obi-Wans dreams had worsened to an extent were he wasn?t sleeping at all.
    His dreams always seemed to start with him remembering the time he was kidnapped. A few of Xanatos?s men had kidnapped Obi-Wan on a mission, they had beat him for information on Qui-Gon and what he was doing. Qui-Gon had retrieved Obi-Wan but Xantatos had gotten away. It was strange that Obi-Wan was having these dreams, Xanatos was dead there was no way he could of survived, it was impossible.
    Obi-Wan turned a corner and ran right into Master Windu (literally right into him), and stumbled backwards a bit before muttering an apology.


    ?Sorry Master.?
    Master Windu looked down on him with those horrible stone eyes that seemed to look into your soul.


    ?Are you alright Kenobi.?


    ?Im fine Master.?

    Obi-Wan?s reply was weak, he looked terrible.


    ?Better get to class then.?


    Obi-Wan bowed before replying and he hurried off to his next class. Mace shook his head, he should contact Qui-Gon about his padawan. Obi-Wan Kenobi needed to see a mind healer that much was clear. Master Windu headed in the direction of the council chambers.

    ?Obi-Wan??


    Obi-Wan looked up with tired eyes, he had rings under his eyes, his hair was a mess and he looked a deathly pale.


    ?What??


    Garen looked at him with worried eyes, he knew his friend wasn?t getting any sleep , hell you could tell just by looking at him.


    ?Are you sure your fine Obi-Wan??


    ?Yes I'm fine.?


    Garen dropped it at that, if one thing was for sure it was that Obi-Wan was not fine. But Garen couldn?t force him to the mind healers, he could tell someone or he could get Bant to do something to help Obi-Wan.


    ?Ok then.?

    Obi-Wan was heading back to the apartment, he didn?t feel like eating and he needed to get some homework done. He walked through the door and into his bed room, he sank down into his chair and started his homework.

    A black figure walked across the street towards him, Obi-Wan tried to move but his limbs wouldn?t obay him. He tried to yell out but no words came, the figure slowly got closer and all Obi-Wan could do was watch. When the figure stopped a few step?s in front of him Obi-Wan looked up into those horrid black eyes as he slowly pulled down his hood to reveal a pale white face with a scar in the shape of a broken circle on his cheek. The figure started to laugh as Obi-Wan?s vision dimed.

    Obi-Wan sat bolt upright and fell of his chair, it was just a dream, it was always just a dream.
  3. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Wow...poor Obi-Wan. He needs some help and fast. [face_worried]
  4. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    What was Msce Windo thinking about, he knew Obi-Wan was sick and he didn't do anything. Some Council member he is.

    Poor Obi-Wan.

    Interesting.:cool:
  5. Skywalker_T-65 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 19, 2009
    star 6
    Great chapter. Poor Obi-Wan. Hopefully the mind healer actually helps. And look, I told you this chapter would get you more reviews (its only two, but its a start).
  6. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Mace Windu was sitting in the Gardens, he needed to decide if he should inform Qui-Gon on his Padawan Obi-Wan kenobi?s current health. He knew he should but was there really anything Qui-Gon could do until he got back? No he should just tell Qui-Gon anyway.

    ?Obi-Wan.?
    Obi-wan looked up, he had been in the archives and must of dossed off because it was the early morning when he had arrived here and looking at his friends worried face he knew that they had been looking for him.
    ?Hey Garen.?
    ?Obi-Wan you missed the first three lessons.?
    ?WHAT!!?
    Obi-Wan stood up suddenly but his legs couldn?t support him, he fell over with a loud thud. Garen rushed over and helped Obi-Wan up.
    ?Obi-Wan, you need to see the healer.?
    ?No I'm fine.?
    Obi-Wan pushed himself away from Garen but collapsed onto the floor again. This was not good what was happening, he didn?t understand what was going on.
    ?Obi-Wan if you won?t go willingly I?ll drag you there.?
    ?I would like to see you try.?
    Garen stared at Obi-Wan for a few seconds and then called in the direction of a Jedi Master.
    ?Master Adi Gallia we need you help.?
    The Jedi Master walked over to where Obi-Wan was sitting on the floor, she looked down on him before bending down and helping him up. Garen on his right side and Adi Gallia on the left they helped him to the healers, much to the complaint of Obi-Wan.
    ?But I'm fine, I don?t need to see the healers.?
    ?Its evident Padawan Kenobi that you are indeed not fine.?
    It continued like this for a while until they arrived at the healers.
  7. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Ack! so short..what's wrong with Obi-Wan? [face_worried]
  8. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Hey, thanks for the comments, im sory its so short but i have had a lot of homework and assignments thrown on me. But i have the next chapter for who ever actually wants to read it.

    Obi-Wan sat awkwardly on the bench as the healer was shouting at his master over a comn link for letting him get into the state of severe exhaustion. From what Obi-Wan could tell his master wasn?t happy, he couldn't tell what they were saying but there was a definite tension. The healer kept gesturing with her hand to Obi-Wan and then saying something like ?Does he look fine to you!? either way it didn?t matter. Obi-Wan knew what was coming he was going to get a lecture on how he needs to look after himself and then probably be sent to the mind healers and very unlikely, if not possible, he would be sent to see the council. He did not want to do that! He sighed, he was really tired and hungry. He wanted to sleep but he just could do it, he dreaded those dreams.
    The door slid open and in stepped a slightly annoyed Healer, Obi-Wan didn?t know her name. She had a data pad in her hand and seemed to be reading it.
    ?What were you doing to yourself Kenobi.?
    Obi-Wan didn?t know what to say, truth he had no idea what he was doing to himself.
    ?I??. I don?t???.really know.?
    Obi-Wan was surprised at his slow and weak voice, was he sick, had he come down with a cold. The healer sighed she had never seen a case as bad as the boy in front of her, something was bothering him, and there was no way he was going to tell her.
    ?Im going to let you go, but if I even hear about you mistreating your body and mind, I will drag you down here and you will stay in the care of the healers for a very long time.?
    Obi-Wan couldn?t tell if she was joking or not but nodded his head just to be on the safe side
    ?Ok then, go get something to eat.? Obi-Wan started to get up but she stopped him.
    ?Hold on, I?ll send someone down with you.?
    ?I can go on my own.?
    She looked at him with what seemed to be a mixture of humour and caution before she disapered into another room. She same back a while later with a young jedi knight. He had messy brown hair with light green eyes. He seemed to be rather cheerful even though he was escorting a sick padawan to get something to eat.
    ?This is Knight Morrison.?
    ?Hello, I'm guessing your Obi-Wan Kenobi??
    Obi-Wan took the knights hand and shook it, he didn?t know why but this man just made him smile.
    ?Hello.?
  9. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Sounds like Obi-Wan just made a new friend..but the healer...hmmm, not sure. Seemed caring enough, just not very understanding. Did Obi-Wan not tell him that he's been having nightmares?

    Good update..:)
  10. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    ?So something been worrying you??
    Obi-Wan and the knight were in the lift down to the mess hall, Obi-Wan hesitated a bit, he didn?t really want to tell this knight about his dream but there was just something about him that made him answer.
    ?Yeah, I haven?t been able to sleep.?
    ?Bad dreams.?
    Obi-Wan nodded, the Knight gave a small chuckle and had a knowing look in his eyes. Obi-Wan studied him for a few seconds, what would the healer send him to make sure he ate, something clicked inside his head.
    ?You?re a mind healer.? The man looked at Obi-Wan and then smiled.
    ?How?d ya know.?
    ?Well, why would they send you??
    ?That?s a good question, but don?t worry you?re not going mad.?
    The lift stopped and they stepped out into the hall way, there was a few people about considering it was about lunch time.
    ?Come on then, your shrinking away to nothing as we speak.?
    He made a chuckle at his own little joke, to be honest Obi-Wan thought his sense of humour was worse compared to his masters.
    ?Come on.?
    He pushed Obi-Wan lightly towards the mess hall, he had a goofy grin on his face that made him look a few years younger.
    ?I forgot to ask, what?s your name.?
    ?Toby, Toby Morrison.?
    Obi-Wan smiled, it surprised him that he didn?t ask the man?s name before, they made there way into the mess hall it was partly crowded. Obi-Wan scanned the tables for his frineds, he spotted them on the far west of the room. They got their food and made their way over to the table.
    ?Obi-Wan are you ok.?
    It was Bant, she looked worried, Garen had obviously told her about him being dragged to the healers.
    ?We all know you don?t like the healers Obi-Wan but this might have been just a little too much.?
    Garen chocked on his food at this remark, Quinlan was the last person you would expect to tell Obi-Wan he had gone too far.
    ?Really Quinlan, and drawing on the back of Mace?s head wasn?t.?
    ?Wait you did that.?
    Toby had finally chosen to speak, he was sitting next to Obi-Wan. The others hadn?t noticed him until then.
    ?Yeah, he couldn?t get it off for 3 days.?
    ?That was pure brilliance, it?s supprising I didn?t think of it when I was a padawan.?
    Bant rolled her eyes at them, even if this man was a knight, he could all way fit in with the trouble making three.
    ?What?s your name?? It was Garen who spoke this time
    ?Toby, and you are??
    ?I?m Bant, this is Garen and Quinlan.? She said as she gestured to each of them.
    ?It?s nice to meet you.?



    Thanks for the feedback, sorry again that is so short
  11. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    makes sense Toby would be a mind healer. Nice update.
  12. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Toby poked Obi-Wan in the shoulder, Obi-Wan hadn?t touched his food, which was hardly anything to begin with.

    ?Obi-Wan if you do not eat then I will shove it down your throat.?

    ?I don?t think Master Qui-Gon would approve.? Replied Obi-Wan with an evil little smirk

    ?Obi-Wan this is serious, you need to eat.?

    Obi-Wan looked reluctantly at his food before taking a bite, Toby relaxed at this; he had done at least something to help the troubled boy.

    ?See it?s not that bad.?

    Obi-Wan didn?t reply, but he continued to glare at Toby while he ate.

    ?Don?t mind Obi-Wan, either he can be all grumpy or he can be way to happy, and I prefer the grumpy version.?

    ?Quinlan.? Bant was now glaring at Quinlan; Obi-Wan had finished eating the little food he had on his plate.

    ?Well I better be off then, minds to heal and all.?
    Toby stood up and stretched, he would inform the healer that Obi-Wan had eaten.
    ?It was nice meeting you Knight Morrison.? Bant smiled at him as she said this.

    ?It was nice meeting you too; maybe I will catch up with you some time tomorrow.?

    ?Out of plain and innocent curiosity.? Quinlan snorted at this.
    ?Why would you bother with us.? Said Garen with a raised eyebrow.

    ?I don?t know.? replied Toby as he shrugged his shoulders ?I?ll see you all later then.?

    ?Bye.?

    Toby got up and walked out of the mess hall, soon after so did the four padawan?s. Quinlan headed back to his apartment and Garen went to the archives.

    ?Do you want to go to the gardens Obi-Wan??

    ?Ok.?

    Bant smiled at him happily, Obi-Wan didn?t know why but she always seemed to be happy, it was impossible to be around her without smiling.
    They soon arrived at the gardens; they sat on a bench and let themselves be surrounded by the force. An unfamiliar voice pierced the silence.
    ?Well, if it isn?t Oafy-Wan. ?
  13. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    OH no...just what Obi-Wan doesn't need - Bruck. [face_frustrated]
  14. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    SORRY I HAVENT POSTED ANYTHING IN A WHILE


    Obi-Wan turned around, for a moment he had expected to see Bruck, a bully who had tormented him when he was younger. A tall boy with blonde hair and brown eyes stood in front of Bant and himself. Obi-Wan didn?t know the boy, he had seen him around the temple before but he didn?t remember him.

    ?I?m sorry, but do I know you??

    The boy just snorted and rolled his eyes, there was something about him that bothered Obi-Wan, they way he stood was all too familiar. His body was tensed as if waiting for Obi-Wan to attack him. He looked at Obi-Wan like he has some horrible disease.

    ?No you wouldn?t.?

    Obi-Wan frowned, if this boy didn?t know him then why was he acting like this toward him.

    ?From what I hear, you aren?t right in the head.?

    What in the force was this boy talking about, he had no idea what was going on.

    ?Excuse me??

    ?You heard me, you?re mad, crazy, missing a few slats.? the boy had his arms crossed

    ?Look, just leave him alone, you have no right to say these things.?

    It was Bant who spoke; she had a look that had only crossed her face once. Obi-Wan shivered at the memory; it was when Bant had been kidnapped. She was giving this boy and very dangerous look and for a second he hesitated. He gave one more glare at Obi-Wan and walked away.

    ?Are you ok?"

    ?Yeah I?m fine Bant.?

    Bant didn?t look too convinced; she looked at him with concern but didn?t say anything else.

    ?I should go, my master will be expecting me home soon, I?ll send you a message later ok.?

    ?Ok then Obi-Wan, goodnight.?

    ?Goodnight Bant.?

    The two padawans parted ways, the lights were starting to dim and there weren?t many people in the halls, well there weren?t many padawans. There were a few Knights and Masters here and there but other then that the halls were deserted.

    Obi-Wan made his way to his apartment, he was thinking about the assignment he was supposed to be doing when he ran straight into a familiar structure.
    ?Hello Obi-Wan.?
  15. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    He ran into a familiar structure? what could it be? Hmm...[face_thinking]

    So it wasn't Bruck - who was it?

    Interesting.
  16. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    ?Hello Toby?
    Toby smile at Obi-Wan before putting a hand on his shoulder and directing him to a small meditating room.
    ?So have you been alright, no one?s been bothering you?
    Obi-Wan frowned, why would he ask the particular question? Was he worried or did he know something.
    ?No, I was just heading back; I have a lot of work I need to finish?
    Toby let go of Obi-Wan?s shoulder and sighed, he didn?t look connived but he let the subject drop.
    ?Right then, you better get going?
    Obi-Wan hesitated before continuing his Original track back to his apartment. He didn?t understand why people were so worried about him. He laughed to himself at that, it wasn?t like he was dying, force that was a scary thought.
    Obi-Wan stepped into the apartment; he could hear Quin-Gon in the kitchen making tea.
    ?Hello Obi-Wan how was your day?
    ?It was alright Master, how was yours?
    Quin-Gon walked out of the kitchen a say down at the table, he motioned for Obi-Wan to join him. He put a mug down in front of Obi-Wan as he sat down.
    ?Well I talked with the council?
    ?Do we have a mission??
    ?No? Obi-Wan?s face fell, he had gone very pale.
    ?Obi-Wan what?s wrong??
    ?You didn?t mention anything about the dreams did you?
    ?They?ve been getting worse haven?t they??
    Obi-Wan hung his head; he knew where this conversation was going.
    ?Yes Master, they have?
    Quin-Gon sighed; he needed to see yoda about this. Yoda would know what to do. Quin-Gon stood up from the table and walked towards the door.
    ?Where are you going Master??
    ?To see the council, while I?m gone you need to finish that paper for history?

    I have been very very lazy with my writing, im so sorry for the wait
  17. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    Looking forward to more - :)
  18. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    ?He?s been having dreams?

    Quin-Gon Jinn stood in front of the council, he looked extremely calm apart from his eyes, and they were filled with worry for Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Council members exchanged glances.

    ?Dream?s? It was Mace Windu who spoke

    ?Yes, they started after we came back from our last mission?

    ?Have you talked to him about them? Adi Gallia said this; she always had a straight forward approach.

    ?Yes, he says there always the same thing?

    ?And what might that be? Mace windu spoke again

    ?A broken circle on the wall?

    ?Strange, this is not?

    Quin Gon looked at Master Yoda with confusion, why wouldn?t this be strange, Obi-Wan was having nightmares.

    ?Visions they are not, but memories?

    ?Memories of what has already happened?

    Quin Gon gave a sigh of relief, if it wasn?t vision then why was Obi-Wan having these dreams.

    Here's a l;ittle bit extra
  19. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Obi-Wan Kenobi was lying on the floor, a tall figure stood over him. He wore a black cloak, dark clothing, he had dark hair and stone like eyes, there was a scar in the shape of half a circle on his cheek.

    ?Do you know what I?m going to do to you little Jedi?

    The man was smiling now, he had a cruel smile, and there was hate behind it, hate and pain. The Man chuckled before kicking Obi-Wan in the gut.

    ?I?m going to stripe you of your pride and make sure you beg for death to come quickly?

    The man laughed a dark, evil laugh before intruding on the young man?s mind; he pushed his way into every memory, every feeling, and every secret. He broke Obi-Wan Kenobi?s mind, and he left it with a scar.



    Qui-Gon Jinn walked into the apartment he shared with his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi. He stopped in the hallway and listened, he sensed a disturbance from his padawan. He could hear muttering from Obi-Wan?s room.

    ?No???.no more????.please no more????..please stop?

    Obi-Wan was rapped in bed covers, he was tossing and turning, his face was twisted in pain and his fists were clenched. Qui-Gon knew what he was dreaming about and as soon as he saw his padawan in this state he was at his side in one long stride.

    ?Obi-Wan wake up its just a dream?

    Qui-Gon was softly stroking Obi-Wan?s hair, his padawan was horribly cold.

    ?No more???.. PLEASE NO MORE?

    Obi-Wan was shouting now, his fist clenched harder around the bed sheets so that his knuckles were white. Qui-Gon used a sleep suggestion to ease his padawan?s nightmare. When Obi-Wan was clam and at ease he stood up with a sigh, his padawan needed to talk more about the experience with Xanatos.
    When they had found Obi-Wan he was a mess, not just fiscally but mentally as well, he wouldn?t speak for a month, he would flinch away from anyone who got near him. When finally confronted by the council he only told them half the story he would not say the rest.

    Well now you finally know about the kidnapping, hope you liked this chapter :D
  20. DarthKasslar Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2011
    great story, good job :D i shall be looking forward to more of ur story's
  21. Skywalker_T-65 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 19, 2009
    star 6
    Wow, three chapters since the last time I checked. And the second two are really good (grammar wise) I don't think you need a beta as long as you keep that up. Looking forward to the next update.
  22. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    Obi-Wan was sitting on the sofa, he worse his sleep trousers but nothing else. His bare chest showed and long white scar across his chest. He held a cup of tea in his hand, his Master wasn?t home when he woke up, and it was nearly 6.00 now. He had been up for two hours and he was now waiting for something, anything to happen. Obi-Wan sighed and stood up with a slight groan, there was no use sitting around half dressed. He walked into his room and got dressed; he pulled a tunic over the scar and some trousers on. He couldn?t find his boots, he searched his room for a few minuets but he couldn?t find them. He started to search in the living room when the door chime rung. He looked up from the floor as the door opened.

    ?What in the galaxy?s are you doing down there?

    Obi-Wan started up at toby; he had an amused smile on his face. He Pulled Obi-Wan off the ground in a swift motion.

    ?I was looking for my boots under the sofa?

    ?Obi-Wan. There by the door?

    Obi-Wan went bright red at that, he moved around toby in an awkward shuffle to get his boots.

    ?Look you?ve gone all pink? At that remark Obi-Wan went even redder.

    ?It?s not funny you know?

    ?Oh yes it is? Toby had a silly grin on his face now.

    ?Grow up toby, your acting like a little kid?

    ?For starters no one ever grows up, they only now how to act in public and second you?re the one who is as red as a Sith blade?

    ?I?m telling my Master on you? Obi-Wan smiled evilly at Toby as he said that.

    ?Who?s being childish now??

    ?I?m aloud to be childish, I'm still a padawan you?re a knight?

    ?I?m a knight I never knew? Toby burst out laughing at his remark.

    Obi-Wan crossed his arms and stared down at the knight whom was now rolling on the floor crying with laughter.

    ?Your jokes are worse then my Master?s?

    Toby stood up and straitened his tunic, patted down his messed hair and strode to the door.

    ?Come one lets get some breakfast?



  23. littleobiwankenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2009
    star 1
    =D=

    just found the story, I´m still reading the chapters.

    Hopeful their will be a next chapter yery soon..
  24. Tevase2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2011
    star 1
    I know, i know its sooooooo short. well at the moment im working on building suspense. yes i know its not one of my best chapters but im not in a writing mood, its the holidays so go easy on me



    ?Surrender Obi-Wan?

    Garen stood with his light saber in hand with the most pathetic of grins on his face, Bant had convinced Obi-Wan and Garen into the raining rooms, well she had more or less tricked them.

    ?Never? Obi-Wan was grinning madly as well

    ?Then the king will unleash a can of powned on your sorry soul?

    Any one who was watching this would either be amused or deeply confused. Garen had a wicked grin on his face
    while Obi-Wan still stood smiling like a loon.

    ?You may be the king but I am the master of sword play?

    ?You both sound stupid?

    It was Bant who spoke now; she had her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Quinlan was the only one who seemed to see the funny side of the situations.

    ?Lighten up Bant, you?re the one who wanted us to train?

    Garen was trying not to laugh at Quinlan who was at that current moment leaning on the wall for support while holding his sides.

    ?Quinlan stop it your getting some unhealthy looks from some of the masters? Quinlan straitened up at this.

    ?Me? I?m the angel of the temple? Obi-Wan and Garen burst out laughing.

    ?You the angle of the temple? said Garen

    ?Quinlan if you?re the angel of th- OBI-WAN?

    Obi-Wan had collapsed onto the floor moaning, he couldn?t hear, see or feel anything. There was only darkness
  25. obimom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    I enjoyed the humor of the boys' training...good stuff.

    What is wrong with Obi-Wan? [face_worried]
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