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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

The Character Sketch: A Challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by The Musical Jedi, Aug 8, 2002.

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  1. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Well, Sophita - holy cow! For a first effort, that was quite incredible. You managed to capture the dichotomy of Anakin/Vader quite perfectly - the whiny, self-serving egotist that was never able to accept responsibility for his own actions - and the lost 'good man' that Obi-Wan spoke of in ANH.

    Very, very nicely done - and I'll look forward to reading more of your work.

    CYN
     
  2. Siri_Z

    Siri_Z Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2002
    Sophita: I agree with Cyn... that was incredible for a first try!! Very nice portrayl of ani/vader.

    I too am gunna look foward to reading more of your work.

    Till Later~
    Siri
     
  3. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    Sophita! That was *great*! ([Meg Ryan from uu]When Harry Met Sally[/u]]I wanna write to whatever *she's* listening to![/Meg Ryan]

    :)

    That was really well done, tying in the gestures and lines from RotJ like that: colour me impressed! I hope you have more stories up your sleeves. :)

    Musicalla: Moulin Rouge 2??? There was another CD put out? :) I can't really write to the Moulin stuff because I adored the movie too much. I've been forcing it on all my friends: it's very educational to note who loves it and who hates it. :)

    Well, there's some really quality stuff coming out of these first-timers: gotta keep watching this thread. Great idea, Musicalla, it seems to be providing just the right encouragemnt for newer authors to try their hand at fanfic. You are much to be commended!

    *Derisa*

     
  4. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
    [face_blush] And Cyn put me on her hit list for this...

    Yes, there are impressively two Moulin Rouge cds, and personally, I prefer the second to the first! It is surprising who liked that movie and who didn't... My dad, for instance, thought it was a wonderful movie, even though he tends to not like the musical or chick-flick-esque type movies. And I'm glad you like the idea of this thread. Personally *pulls out her soapbox* I think there aren't enough short story threads out there. I'm kind of a short story junkie, but putting up a single thread for each of them seems a little, oh, I don't know, excessive, and I like to see what other people see in them. So, I post challenges instead. It's less intimidating than a full-length feature, and we all get great stories! :)

    By the way, Sophita, your protrayal of Anakin/Vader was excellent! Very impressive for a first go! I like how it was contrasted between what he wanted to do and what he felt obligated to do.
     
  5. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    TMJ - OK, OK - I'm officially removing you from that list. It's just that I have a terrible time turning my back on ANy kind of challenge - that old Marty McFly thing, you know - and every challenge met requires more time. Ah, time, sweet time - would we all had as much as we could possibly use! [face_mischief]

    But I concede that your method breeds some superior work - so you're forgiven.

    And I know what you mean about MR. Personally, I'd be ashamed to tell you how many times I went to see it at the theater; haven't gone so overboard over a film since I was 16 - and no, I'm not going to tell you what that film was. But I've been amazed that it generates (generally) either love or hate - but very little in between.

    CYN
     
  6. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    The truth of it is, genius rarely generates indifference. :) And that's my pithy quotable of the day. :)


    *Derisa*
     
  7. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
    *laughs* You mean, you only make one pithy quote of the day?

    I must confess, in reference to MR, that I never saw it in the theater. I don't remember seeing previews for it. In fact, I think the only reason that I was aware it existed was because of the Academy Awards; I think it was up against something I adored, although I can't remember what. My cousin was in rapture from it, and she encouraged me to rent it while I was house-sitting for my aunt and her. I was absolutely floored, crying at three seperate times, even though I can't remember the last time I cried at a movie. I think I watched it three times in two days. Sometime about the idealism, the tradgedy... I love tragic stuff, because to me, that is so much more true to life than the lovey, fluffy stuff.

    Well, enough of Musical's take on MR. I'm glad to know that I'm not on your list any more, Cyn! :D
     
  8. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    I didn't see it in the theatres either: I took a friend to see AOTC in a digital theatre, and she repaid me by showing me her DVD. I was enchanted from the first minute.

    I have since forced it on six different friends, and been delighted when I found it in the library of four others. It's one of my all-time favces: I wish I'd seen it in the theatre.

    I have the CD and Rani and I belt out the songs at top volume whenever we go driving. :) But I can't write to it: nothing I can come up with would do it justice.

    There were a few Moulin/SW crossovers, a while back: any of you guys read them? Any recommendations?


    *Derisa*
     
  9. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
    No, I've never read any of the crossovers. I considered doing one for a while, but I couldn't think of a logical way to tie the two stories together.

    In other news, here is my meager offering to the challenge. Hope you like.
    ~*~*~*~*~

    I?ve always been a loner.

    I don?t know if it?s more accurate to say that my name fits me or that I fit it, but either way it is true. Solo I am, in more than the nominal sense. Or, I suppose it would be more accurate to say, I was.

    It took me a while to realize that it wasn?t really true any more, though. Friends, I have found, have always been hard to come by. Not many people want to be friends, real friends, with a smuggler. Chewie has always been there for me, although I can?t really think of anyone else who has. All of my other ?friends? are really just acquaintances, people who have done me favors only in anticipation of having those favors come back to them. Or they just double-cross me, whichever comes first or easiest or both.

    I realized, though, in the last few instants, that I really have friends. Luke and Leia are my friends, and too a lesser degree, Lando. True, he got me into this mess, but I can understand how Vader made him an offer he couldn?t refuse. I?ve been there before, only the person who stood in my place didn?t matter a bit to me.

    For the first time in my life, I?m really afraid. Afraid of what will happen to Chewie and Leia, afraid for Luke, and even afraid for myself. I can remember not really caring, as long as I came out on top, or at least came out, in the end. Before, it didn?t really seem to matter to me what happened. Chewie would survive and thrive afterwards, even if he did miss me. Nothing matter to me, because nothing was riding on my life.

    Then, this afternoon, after being torture by those guards of Vader?s, feeling pain the like I have never known, I had the stirrings of friendship, of true loyalty. It was the same thing that stirred in my breast when I knew that Luke was going to fly off towards the Death Star, to his own death, if I didn?t go back to him. Some kind of gambler?s instinct, I suppose. You can tell when the stakes are against you, and your cards won?t come up as you hope. This loyalty grew within me, and I knew it was to be a trap to bring Luke here.

    We were dragged out onto that catwalk surrounding the carbonite chamber, and I knew that this was a bad situation. Their hands were on me as I realized what Vader was telling us. Luke was going to come here, for us, and I was to test the chamber for him. Chewie?s roars echoed in the small room, and I saw tears on Leia?s cheeks.

    Something in me snapped, and I pulled away from those guards for an instant. I told Chewie to stop, understanding that there was more at stake here than merely my life. He couldn?t throw it away for me. Luke needed him. Leia needed him. I needed him to be there for both of them. They were my friends. I knew, with that frightening certainty that accompanies all deadly situations, that he was more important to them then my life was. He had to protect them and therefore let me go to my fate.

    Now I?m standing on the platform, instants away from being frozen or killed in the process. Part of me is afraid, but the rest, most of me, realizes that this is what must be. I can see Leia?s fear on her face, even as she blurts out that she loves me. A half-smile quirks at my lips because I already know, as I know that I love her. And now, there is no more time for thought.
     
  10. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Lovely, TMJ - and a peek inside a character that is seldom explored with any depth. Fly-boy is as fly-boy does seems to be the predominant attitude.

    You succeeded in peeling back the layers and exposing a bit of the core of a lovable rogue.

    Bravo - with champagne and roses.

    CYN
     
  11. Chaos_Rose

    Chaos_Rose Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 12, 2002
    Purr! Han has always been one of my favorite characters and you did him justice.

    Applause!

     
  12. zeekveerko

    zeekveerko Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2002
    oo, chilling, Musical Jedi.
    a very grim portrayal of Han.
     
  13. yoda4982

    yoda4982 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2002
    You got inside one of the characters very few venture to go into...however you did it brilliantly, i have taken the time to peal the layers off of many characters and Han being on of my favoirtes, you bring out what is seen on screen, a man who cares for himself, changes into a man who cares for more...his friends and his love...and that brings us the ROTJ Han that i love so much, the careing han. this was great, and i love when you got into his head...right before he is frozen. perferct.


    Yoda
     
  14. Daughter_of_Yubyub

    Daughter_of_Yubyub Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2002
    Wow, that's really impressive.

    Here's my meagre offering. I think I'm the first one to do something in the NJO.


    The Last Time

    I held my son for the last time today. One last time, I smoothed his curly hair and stroked his soft cheek. Perhaps it was only natural that I remembered the first time I ever held him. Gazing down on his tiny face, I saw countless possibilities. I remember looking up and saying, ?New life, new generations of Jedi, that?s the hope for the future.? But Anakin?s life is ended and the Jedi are hunted again. That future I saw was cut cruelly short. And hope? Sometimes I wonder about hope.

    All these years, when I put duties ahead of spending time with my children, I always knew that I was really doing it for their sake. I wanted to leave them a galaxy far better than the one I grew up in. When we at last made peace with the Empire, I thought I had finally achieved that goal. Then the Vong came and destroyed everything that my generation fought and suffered for. Now it?s not enough for them to destroy what I have built. Now they destroy the very people I built everything for.

    Here I am at a funeral no mother should ever attended. Anakin was many things to many people. But for me, he was always my son, my baby. I fed him when he was hungry and played with him when he was bored. I washed his dirty face and bandaged his skinned knees. I sang to him when he couldn?t sleep, and comforted him when he was afraid. I tried to protect him from those who sought to hurt him, but children grow up. My son had to grow up far to fast. Before long he was the one going out to protect others, even though it put his own life in danger. I thought that he would always come back to me. I never imagined that the last time I said goodbye to him it would be forever.

    ?Anakin Solo saved my life,? they all say. The words sound strange to me. I can?t imagine saying them. Anakin Solo didn?t save my life. Anakin Solo was part of my life. A part that can?t ever be replaced or forgotten. Over twenty-five years ago, I saw my world destroyed. A month ago, it happened all over again. History may very well call Anakin a hero. However, I will always simply call him my son.
     
  15. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2001
    Oh, my! This site is really inspiring some lovely work - like this one, DOYY. A tragic, spare, bleak portrait of a wounded soul.

    Very, very nice.

    CYN
     
  16. Darth_Tim

    Darth_Tim Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 26, 2002
    Man, you know I'm going to have to do something for this when I get posting again...

    And about music and writing...for me it's the albums Master Of Puppets and And Justice for All by Metallica...dark and eerie as all get-out if you're writing dark stuff...hehehe. Another one I like is "Rising Force" by Yngwie Malmsteen, who's this phenomenal classically inspired guitarist (kinda along the lines and time of Randy Rhoads or older Van Halen, but mostly instrumental stuff) that nobody's heard of, and then there's Iced Earth, whose Night of the Stormrider album always reminds me of Vader/Anakin.

    Ciao,

    -Tim
     
  17. zeekveerko

    zeekveerko Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2002
    Metallica, hmm?
    haven't listened to them since hike school.

    i jam out to Milt Jackson, Stevie Wonder, the Beatles, or other such greatness when i'm writing. otherwise i leave on a movie in the background.
     
  18. yoda4982

    yoda4982 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2002
    that was a really good image of Leia in NJO, really heartbreaking. very well done. in some way i can see Padme in her more now.


    As for music to write to...give me any punk...well Box Car Racer, or Jimmy Eat World, or better yet...no wait that all the emo i listen to, well thats what inspires me. or i just pick up guitar and play something erie or loving and bam idea hits

    anyways back to writing


    Yoda
     
  19. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    I whooped when I started reading the Han piece, Musicalla! Good work, and everyone else is right: no one seems to get too deep into han's head in the writing I've read. The late Brian Daley did a decent job in his trilogy, but he's been the best so far. In too many other stories he's a puzzle no one seems eager to explore. I really liked the insight. :)

    Daughter of YubYub: I really liked your portrayal of Leia, her sorrow and her solidity. I too have three children, and my youngest will always be my baby. I can barely imagine bidding him that final farewell.

    I recently had another good view over Aaron Allston's site, and read his definition of the job of a writer. According to him, we are sharing glimpses into other lives, and giving our readers a taste of being someone else for however short a time. I think that fits fanfic writers as well as professional writers, and I am really glad we have this little thread to share our insights into these beloved characters, their tragedies and their triumphs.

    Well done, all!


    *Derisa*
     
  20. DarthLothi

    DarthLothi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2001
    I just read through this thread and there are some great pieces here. I thought I would contribute a vignette I wrote a while back called The Other Woman.

    **************

    Just because I left you doesn't mean that I love you any less.

    It simply means I love another more.

    Perhaps love is not the right word. It doesn?t begin to describe these feelings. Obsession, maybe. Or addiction. It?s a rush unlike anything I?ve ever known. Better than drink, better than spice, even better than sex.

    The Dark Side is my mistress. She is powerful. Demanding.

    It started innocently enough. Some flirting here, a light touch there. I was drawn in before I knew it. Lured by her siren song, one that spoke of a power beyond any I had ever imagined. She was so quick, so easy. Always there when I needed her.

    Before long, those brief encounters were not enough. The more I touched the Dark Side, the more I longed for her cold embrace. She whispered to me at all hours, beckoning me to join her, to immerse myself within her fully. I gave in to that call. The feeling of all that power resonating through my body is the closest thing to pure ecstasy I?ve ever experienced. With it, I can do anything. Be anything.

    And to think that this began with a simple desire: to make myself more worthy of you. I saw the things and the opportunities you missed; I saw everything you gave up to be with me. I didn?t want you to think you had made a mistake. I thought that being more powerful would make me more deserving of you. I thought that you would love me more. I was wrong. In seeking to become more deserving of your love, I have become someone to be despised. I?ve destroyed everything.

    I know I don?t deserve you, but I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. Every day apart from you, from your Light, causes another part of me to wither and die. More than anything, I just want to be with you. I want to see your smile. I want to hear your laugh. I want to breathe in your perfume. I want to bask in your Light and feel alive again.

    The Dark Side, however, is a jealous mistress. I had to choose. In the end, her seductive melody was too much to resist. Being with you allowed the Light in, and I could not fully embrace her beautiful, terrible potential. So I had to leave. But my soul remains with you, and I stand here an empty shell of a man.

    But even now, there is untapped power that I cannot reach, and it is your fault. No matter how vile my emotions, or how depraved my acts, part of you remains with me. There is a small flicker of light, your Light, deep within me that I cannot extinguish. And for that, my mistress holds herself back from me, depriving me of absolute mastery over her.

    In spite of my mistress, you?re all I think about. When I lie awake at night, that flicker of Light burns brighter as I recall the warmth of your arms, the softness of your body, and the depth of your love. A love that demanded nothing, except to be returned. In seeking to give you more, I lost you. I lost everything I had. Including myself.

    So now, when I lie awake missing you, I seek solace in the embrace of my Other Woman. But hers is a cold, cold comfort.

    *********
     
  21. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2002
    I read this over at the Fan Fiction Archive, and it is very well done! An amazing portrait of Anakin and the choice he has to make. The metaphor of the Dark Side as a mistress is very compelling indeed.

    Great job!

    :)
     
  22. yoda4982

    yoda4982 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2002
    WOW, that was good, the trapped good man inside, who knows he cannot escape, very good. I like the comparision of The Dark Side as a mistriss. very original.

    Yoda
     
  23. zeekveerko

    zeekveerko Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2002
    Warm. Damp. Musty. Master Jedi am I, crave not the fading comforts of the flesh - conditioned air, soft bed. Need I not the company of peers, for nine hundred years have I lived and watched the lives of friends escape. Empty shells, they leave behind - and broken promises. Pretend that I do not feel or care, I will not. Long have I lived in this rotting galaxy, understand, I do, the ways of the force. Darkness rises, falls, becomes shrouded in light, returns again. Little hope remains for the galaxy. No longer is it my role to win for the Republic its battles. I seek immersion into the force; my life begins to fade. I have felt it in the swaying trees, the subtle whispers on the breeze. Live to see the empire fall, I will not. Understand, do I, the fallacy of my previous position, surrounded by subservient knights, arrogant Jedi Masters. All that exists does so within the force - all events its will. Remorse, grief, sadness, I will not feel. Strong am I in the force, enough to perform the impossible. Enough to will my desires to fruition. I desire peace - at this moment, the force may not; battle the rising tide, I will not. The weight of the galaxy rests on one boy's shoulders, the son of Skywalker, to complete the task in which his father failed, he will try. Watched have I, long enough. He returns to fulfill his promise - I sense his presence drawing near. Survive, I must, the moments until he arrives. A Jedi, I may be, but wish to die alone, I do not.

    Yoda
     
  24. yoda4982

    yoda4982 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2002
    That was, wow, Yoda with a heart,

    Wish to die alone i do not

    That was a great line, that was great, true Yoda insite.


    very very well done


    Yoda
     
  25. The Musical Jedi

    The Musical Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 1999
    Kudos to both of you, DarthLothi and zeekveerko. I like the idea of Anakin not loving Padme less, merely loving his Dark Mistress more. Very nice anaolgy indeed. I also like your protrayal of Yoda, how he feels that his previous life at the Temple was silly, a mockery. :)
     
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