The Character Sketch: A Challenge

thank you guys!

up!

 

DarthLothi wonderful, dark imagery - and a nice bit of metaphorical love triangle. Puts a new spin on Anakin's thought processes.

Makes him seem less artificial and more conflicted, which is always good.

Zeekveerko - very good take on a character that is seldom granted the permission of the reader to display flaws and insecurities - and needs. Nice insight.

CYN

 

Thanks, CYN!

That was a great piece, zeekveerko. Yoda is held in such god-like revere that we tend to forget he is a living, breathing being with flaws, feelings, and desires.

A Jedi, I may be, but wish to die alone, I do not.

This line alone reinforces his...humanity, for lack of a better term.

 

Wonderful to have a challenge

Here's one suggested by a recent fanfic

"His father's eyes, perhaps his mother's nose and chin?" she wondererd silently as she gazed on the sleeping boy. Not a weight, but a warm presence in her embrace. Pink and round and all innocence. "Oh his mother's arms must be aching now." She thought as silent tears of thanks spilled over her cheeks as she reminisced of Padme. The most precious gift and the sudden realization somehow, that this boy would never see his mother, his real mother again. This thought, so certain, made her shudder ever so slightly. She vowed, whatever Owen said about the father, she would paint what she knew of his mother in the very best light she could. She bagan to feel this presence here in her arms was only hers to guard and guide for a while, that this little one would be called to something bigger one day and she must ready him and not hold him back. Shmi's face appeard in her mind, so kind, never for a moment making Owen feel like less than her own son, never fogetting Anakin either and always welcoming to her.
"Oh Little one" she breathed softly " So much the galaxy holds for you. Her thoughts swirled out, prpelled perhaps by the young one in her arms " I will give him my best - I will make you proud of him"
Across both sand and stars Obi Wan and Padme felt a touch of peace with their decison for Luke. Beru shouldered the sleeping bundle and began to turn her thoughts to the practical aspects of motherhood.
"Lars, we will need a few things for our boy"

Let me know what you think
Reb

 

Great job, Rebadams! A very touching portrayal of Beru!



(OK, I have to ask: inspired by Fate of Padme?)

 

Thanks and Yes
!
Let's have a few more glimpses into our favorite's minds - Who's next!
Reb

 

Here we go, Boys and Girls, with what I hope is a bit of a different take on a character that seems, somehow, too superficial to be entirely true. So shall we dig a bit - to peel away the outer layer, and discover


THE MAN BEHIND THE MASTER'S FACADE


To look at it now, one would never believe that this placid, pastoral little world could have been the scene of so much carnage and conflict just a few days ago. The rains have come - in the interim - and washed away the bloodstains and cleansed the air of the smells of death and destruction. Even the bitter oily residue of weapons fire has yielded to the determined efforts of a small army of Nubians, who regard their task of restoring order and tranquility as a sacred calling.

They are, by and large, quiet and respectful - but, despite their obvious gratitude for the intervention of the Jedi, they cannot quite conceal their gentle relief that the figure lying now upon the funeral pyre is not one of their own.

He is Jedi - and, as such, he existed on a slightly different plane of reality - elevated in many ways, and worthy of a certain measure of adulation - but also eternally closer to the edge, poised on the cusp of disaster.

The last rays of sunlight are streaming across the city, painting the intricately patterned structures in bright relief - but trailing fingers of night in their wake. With the last of the light, the pyre will be ignited.

Your padawan stands ready - but I wonder if he will really be able to do it. The boy is - broken now; shattered; lost somehow in the brightness of your reflection - unsure of himself - but oh, so determined, my friend. He will keep his promise to you - or he will die trying. And I wonder if that was your intention; did you mean to paint him into that corner that he cannot escape?

He moves toward the bier, gathering himself - and only Jedi eyes would notice the tremor in his fingers - the swift flutter of his lashes against his face - the quick swell of breath caught and held.

Without conscious thought, I find myself stepping forward and grasping his forearm with gentle fingers. "Obi-Wan, do you want me to do this?"

He looks up at me - and I wonder how long it's been since he allowed anyone to see him cry - for he is NOT crying now - not where anyone can see him, anyway. But, oh, my old friend, deep inside those crystal eyes is a lost, frightened child, weeping with loneliness.

He looks down. "I can do it, Master Mace. I just . . . need a minute."

I nod, and turn to look down at your face - and wonder at the serenity I see there. And I am forced to ask myself if you have purchased your final peace by trading the coin of your padawan's devotion. I confess, it seems a harsh, cruel bargain.

"Did you know," I ask him softly, "that - if a certain meddlesome, conspiratorial, little green schemer had kept his nose out of other people's business . . ." I pause, and think that maybe I should stop now; that some things should remain unsaid.

"Did I know - what?"

I sigh slightly. Too late. He will now be satisfied with nothing less than the whole truth. "I would have been your Master."

That startles him, I can tell - and I wonder why. But then, reality resurges around me - and I know why. I am forced to smile. "Is that such a terrible thought?" I ask.

"No." His reassurance is hasty - and awkward, which is most uncharacteristic of our Obi-Wan. "I just - never knew . . ."

"Of course, you didn't," I reply. "You spent your entire life - lost in the magic of Qui-Gon Jinn. I always wondered . . ."

"Wondered what, Master?"

When I realize that he is simply being polite - making small talk - I reach out and grip his shoulder. His eyes are luminous with tears he refuses to shed - and I know my voice is nothing but a thread of sound - words without meaning, language without purpose. "Never mind, Padawan Kenobi. Are you ready?"

He nods and moves forward, intent - as he has always been - on performing his duty.

And I stand here, as I always have, and watch him mov

 

"Could Mace the cold-and-callous really be Mace, the warm-and-wistful? What do you think?"

Cyn, I think that in the depths of your imagination, with the way you weave your stories, the freezing winters of the arctic could become the tropics of Hawaii!

As always, I love how you portrayed Obi-Wan, and your insight into Mace was beautifully done!

 

Mace!!

Wahoo, one of my fav characters

That was great! luved it.. well i always do.

Till Later~
Siri

 

CYN, you took a character that is never taken any deeper than the words he spoke, and took him deeper than i thought anyone could...of course you have yet to not amaze me. You took a stoned faced Jedi and pulled out the heart he seems to hid...I mean he is a Jedi...he should be some what caring right? If this Master Jedi can be so caring and loving over Obi-Wan...who he didn't train, maybe its not so hard to believe Anakin isn't all monster.


Yoda

 

So many excellent tales, and so little time...

< shakes fist at Darth Real Life >

Applause and chocolate to the authors!

 

Well, I know I am new to this thread, but I thought I'd try my hand at it anyway. Here goes...

*****

For ten years, I have trained. Trained so that I might one day become a warrior, a man of justice, a keeper of the peace. I trained so that one day I could return and free her, the one who raised me.

My mother.

She is before me now, after ten years apart. Her arms lashed cruelly to a wooden stake, blood crusted over month-old wounds, she waits for death. No. She waits for me.

I'm here, Mom. I told you I would come back and free you. I just didn't know I'd be freeing you from torture at the hands of these animals, these blood-thirsty, crazed animals! You're in my arms now, Mom. Everything's fine. It's me, Mom! I'm here. Please don't give me that look. You can't go now. Stay with me, Mom! Everything...oh, Mom. No...

I love you, too. If only you knew how I tried to reach you. Before it was too late. It's my fault that you're here. All my fault. I love you, Mom! Please don't go...I can't...no, don't...

I was too late. It was my fault. Those animals...they murdered you...I murdered you...I was too late...

Those animals...

My body is on fire, Mom. I can feel it now - it starts in the heart, at the very depths of the soul, writhing, working its way to the surface. I'm slipping...and I don't care. Where am I? In the camp of your murderers. And I have something they do not have.

Power.

It's tantalizing, this power. Why could I never see it? Dark and terrifying. Seering, boiling, erupting from my heart. It's monstrous, yes, but that's doesn't matter. I have the power, and I will use it! Why shouldn't I use it? It's been there all along, lurking in the shadows, waiting to be released. I will set it free. I will give in, Mom. To avenge your death.

This time, I will win. There is no one to stop me...

*****

Feedback? How terrible was that? *cringes*

 

wow...that was really dark...and good. Anakin finally gives into the darkness, that was great, his first realization at the power of the Dark side. that was really good


Yoda

 

*peeks head out from under the desk* So it wasn't bad?

 

Viari - a really compelling, twisted look into rising darkness - and a forceful interpretation of what goes on within the mind of the Tatooine Terror.

Good job.

CYN

 

Cyn, for a moment I thought you really were going into uncharted waters, given the almost charitable beginning you gave Qui-Gon, bu alas, I was mistaken. Impressive story, though. I have to wonder, however, was that sketch of Mace, Obi-Wan, or Qui-Gon? You seemed to spin all three into it. I think that Mace can be warm and wistful. Perhaps he is a little like the Obi-Wan you see; always hiding behind a mask of calm and readiness for one reason or another.

ViariSkywalker, very nice! This is one of my ... well, favorite isn't really good, but for lack of a better adjective... scenes in AOTC, because of the insight into Anakin. I like the first-person, the way he rambles into his grief, the realization of power within it. 'Tis th beginning of a long road. Impressive portrayal.

 

TMJ - Is that a dig?

Actually, it was meant to be a revealing portrait of Mace - as revealed in his reactions to the funeral scene - reactions we are never shown in any of the films. As time goes by, I find myself becoming more and more interested in his character; I mean - nobody can really be that stoic - can they?

So I think, perhaps, this bears further study. I have a plot line in mind, involving a Qui/Obi mission to a wartorn world - and I'm debating enlarging Mace's role in it.

Anyway - glad you liked it, and I must point out that anyone who expects ME to write SW - and NOT include my favorite character - is living in a fool's paradise. After all - why would I?

CYN

 

Bad!? Are you kidding!? That was amazing, it was so poignant, so heartbreaking. The way you took the lines from the film and expanded them into Anakin's thoughts at that awful moment was great.

Awesome work!

 

Cyn, it wasn't so much a dig as my irrepressable optimism rearing its often obnoxious head. Anyway, I didn't expect you to know show Obi-Wan in your fic because that just wouldn't your writing, would it? And now your comments have me thinking about Mace. Why would he be so stoic? Defense mechanism comes to mind. But against what? I must stop thinking or I'll produce ten more plot bunnies to shove in my already over-filled hutch. *dramatic sigh* It'll go with my Han Solo ideas (he needs more stories uninhibited by a wife and children, don't you agree?) and other various Pre-TPM thoughts.

 

TMJ - I absolutely agree. Secondary to you-know-who, Han has always been my favorite. (Those hazel eyes, I guess. I'm a sucker for eyes that defy description. )

And I very much enjoyed the novels about his life BL (before Leia). I absolutely think you should write them - and what do you think about a series of vignettes about life among the Jedi - before Naboo - but featuring on a lot of different characters - including our stoic Mace, who simply MUST be deeper than we've been shown!

CYN

 

Cyn, I would read the vignettes! And be jealous to contribute as well... Hmmmm. Another challenge? Or maybe something a little more closed? Not to be taking your ideas or anything.

I've never read the Han Solo Triology, though it's on my list. I have to admit, I'm a little afraid to. Living with my own thoughts is so much more fun, sometimes. Of course, AUs are always fair game.

 

I did another one, tell me what you think
******************************************
I have no father, nor do I have a mother. But today I found out the truth. Ben told me he was a great Jedi Knight, why then is he that thing. My father, Darth Vader, why did it have to be him? Why did he turn, why am I left to save this galaxy that never knew of me, that ignored my planet. I am a farm boy, simple little farm boy. But I have a destiny, one I can?t deny. I must redeem my father, not Darth Vader, that monster could never love himself. No, Anakin Skywalker, my name sake, I am his son. If only he didn?t turn, and my mother was still alive, would the Republic still stand? Oh Leia, what I have kept from you, but now you know you are a Skywalker, my sister and Anakin?s daughter. I know now what I must do; I must face the monster to save my father. I know I can, I feel the Force, it follows through me?I am a Jedi.
****************************************
Yoda

 

*thunderous applause* You really got something there, Yoda! Nice job!

 

Ditto!

Nice work, yoda!!!