Saga The Chosen One Rises - Alternate ROTS novel (based off the Stover novel) *Completed*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Skywalker3248, Jun 7, 2005.

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  1. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Wow ... The moment I take my eyes of this fic, you start posting rapid-fire. And what a clash of Titans it is ... Anakin and Whie dusting the satellite reminded me of ANH ... while the mega-battle between Sidious and Anakin just rocked. I loved your description of how opposite Sidious and Anakin are in the Force ... how Anakin burns with righteous fire while Palpy's like an oil slick. "Bloodshine" ... the word fits Sith lightsabers to a tee. Speaking of lightsabers, I have a feeling that Anakin's going to lose another one. Whew ... Shaak Ti's alive ... sounds pretty badly hurt but also like she's stable. Anakin and Obi are going to really have a fight on their hands once they get to Mustafar ... Palpy and Grevious both ... fortunately Obi-Wan is a master of Shien unlike any the Galaxy has seen in centuries. And together, Anakin and Obi-Wan are invincible.

    Can you give me PM's?
  2. jedipati Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2000
    star 3
    Boy, it's nice to see this one back at it. I spent some time rereading to whole thing, so I'd remember what exactly is going on, and I have to say that I'm loving it all over again. So will it be the TEAM against Grievious and Sidious? That would be fun to watch....

    From a safe distance of course. When those two get warmed up, things get messy. (I'm talking about Kenobi and Skywalker- have you seen what messes they make when they try?)
  3. Skywalker3248 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    Flipside 82 ? your right about that, it?s certainly going to Anakin and the Jedi more than that stop Sidious. I?m not a professional writer, though I think I need to improve grammar more if I?m going to attempt to write professionally.

    DarthJishyWishy ? thanks for the complement on writing action sequences, glad it came out well.

    FitJedi ? glad to see you again, and I?m glad you?re enjoying the fic. I?m sorry for not PMing you, but I wasn?t sure if everyone I used to PM would still want to read the story, as it was a while since I last posted.

    Commander K23 - glad you liked that chapter, and Mustafar certainly is a place of destiny for Anakin that?s for sure.

    TorontoJediMaster ? glad you enjoyed those posts. Yeah, good for the Jedi Sidious doesn?t have a good IT guy to call on. As for Grievous? fate, read on.

    ZebulaNebula ? Glad you enjoyed the description of the battle to destroy the HoloNet, and the battle with Anakin and Sidious. And you can be sure Anakin and Obi have the fight of their life coming up.

    jedipati ? Glad your enjoying this story so much. I?m glad your liking this story so much, and hey, I had to bring the TEAM back together before the end.

    Your right about the mess those to can cause though, definitely best watched from a safe distance.

    And here?s the story.

    ----------------------------------Council of War-----------------------------------

    Anakin found himself seated in the High Council Chamber within the Jedi Temple, Master Windu sat down to his right, while a shaky image, often threatening to break apart, of Obi-Wan played out from the holo-projector located within Obi-Wan?s Council chair, towards his left. Otherwise the Chamber was empty, and Anakin reflected grimly that for the moment, with Yoda still in a coma and Master Ti currently fighting for her life in the med-lab, Masters Tiin and Kolar dead on the Chancellor?s Office floor, and all other Council Masters were trapped on the frontlines, without any means of the Temple to contact most of them with the HoloNet down, Master Windu, Obi-Wan and himself comprised the entire active Council - and as of yet Anakin himself was no Master.

    When Master Windu and Anakin had arrived back at the Jedi Temple, while a medical team from the med-lab had arrived to take Master Ti away for immediate surgery, and tend to Master Windu?s injuries, they had been informed that the Temple had received two shaky messages from Kit Fisto and Ki-Adi-Mundi. They had reported to the Temple that their clone troopers had received part of the Darth Sidious? order, in that the holo-image of the Dark Lord had appeared, but was cut off before he could utter any command. Since then the clone troopers had been behaving oddly, while they displaying no general hostilities towards the Council Masters, and still responded to specific commands they appeared to be absent minded, and didn?t let the Masters? out of their sight. They also had managed to report in that all Separatist droid forces had also shut down at around the same time, bringing the Clone Wars to a halt throughout the galaxy, though they themselves were now also effectively pinned down. From what the Temple had determined this situation appeared to be paralleled throughout the galaxy, including Coruscant where clone troopers outside the Senate and the Temple, and aboard the majority of the Republic cruisers orbiting the city-planet, were now alert but unresponsive to any but the most specific orders.

    Upon arriving in the High Council Chamber with Master Windu, and two Jedi healers who were tending the Korun Master?s injuries, Anakin saw Obi-Wan?s holo-image and had felt a powerful sense of relief flood through him seeing his old Master alive and well, and saw a similar look reflected in Obi-Wan?s eyes. The three immediately started an impromptu Council meeting, bringing each other up to date on current events. Anakin was glad to hear that Obi-Wan had successfully engaged Grievous and had tracked both him and the Separatist Council down, but Anakin l
  4. CommanderK23 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2004
    star 3
    ?What?!? Anakin exclaimed, beginning to think, after all the surprise appearances that kept happening, that if Sidious suddenly were to drop out of the sky right now, he wouldn?t bat an eyelid.

    That's what I was thinking. This chapter was so sweet! =D= Every time they encountered a problem the solution appeared within minutes. Then there was Anakin and Padmé... my heart went out to them, they both have so much depending on them and a whole lot to lose should Sidious somehow when.
  5. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Whoa ... another stunner of a chapter. Loved how everything just fell into place ... especially good old Artoo - the plucky little droid getting the interceptor up and running well enough to limp back to the temple then staying with it sounds about right. Needa ... boy are you a welcome aid right about now. Tantive IV just doesn't sound like it has enough punch to compete with a fortified citadel. Although, shouldn't a Carrack be able to turn the mining installation into slag(and palpy with it), especially with a CR90 for help? Loved the A/P stuff ... especially how they acted like husband and wife right in front of the people most likely to chew them out for their marriage. I foresee a good long talk between Anakin, Obi-Wan and Mace(and maybe Padme too if they're lucky) after Sidious gets what's coming to him. Glad Yoda's back in action ... at least enough to command.

    Their plan reminds me of the assault on the Star Forge for some reason ... I was getting some major KotOR vibes.
  6. Flipside82 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 9, 2006
    star 1
    Glad to see Yoda back in the Game. And now, as Anakin would say, "THIS is where the fun begins!" So, let's go. It's time for one hell of a party!
  7. DarthJishyWishy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2007
    star 1
    I just love Artoo
    [face_love]
    Looks like they got enough of a strike force to CRUSH Sideous.
    Poor guy.
    :_|
  8. FitJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2006
    star 4
    Good to see that everything is coming together for the Jedi and the Senators, however I do hope they have enough power to beat old Sids. I also feel so bad for Padme being so worried about Anakin, I wish it were possible for him to ease her worries but I don't think that is going to happen any time soon.
    Good to see this fic back up and running with a fury!
  9. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    I am pleased to see you posting again. I am really enjoying this fic... Lorth Needa eh? Hopefully he doesn't have to apologize for anything this time.
  10. Skywalker3248 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,


    Commander K23 - Glad you've enjoyed this chapter, and your right, Anakin and Padme sure have allot on the line, lets hope it works out.

    ZebulaNebula - Glad you liked that chapter, and there's no way that Anakin could go into battle without ol' Artoo as his astromech droid, there's certainly no way he'd let Anakin go into battle alone. It certainly is a hard time for Anakin and Padme, no time for them to do things so secretly any more

    Star Forge vibes, huh, mmm...

    Flipside 82 - Yep, no way Yoda could leave this party. And hopefully this is where the fun starts!

    DarthJishyWishy - Glad your liked Artoo here, I have to admit I do to. I'd read on before deciding whether they Jedi actually have enough force to crush Sidious...

    FitJedi - Yep, it good to see something working out of Jedi and the Loyalist Senators, and I hope the Jedi are able to deal with Sidious. Poor Padme is having a difficult time right now, she can see the changes in Anakin, and has some idea of what he's going to face is understandably worried.

    Ocelotl_Nesto - I'm glad your enjoying this fic, and I'm happy to be posting again.

    (I have give a note of thanks here to Souderwan and his story Rise of the Sith for the idea of Sith Lord's inherting knowledge from each other, all credit for that idea goes to him)

    Anyway, hope you enjoy the next part!

    -----------------------------------A Dark Lord arrives---------------------------------

    His pitiless ceramic armorplast mask of a face looked upwards through the ash-choked atmosphere of Mustafar, General Grievous? cold eyes picked out the shape of a shuttle beginning descend through the ash and dust clouds the enshrouded the planet. The light of the nearby star barely made it through the black-clouds and rust-red sky, most of the planet was instead bathed in the hellish red glow cast off by the rivers of lava that cascaded over the jagged obsidian Mustafarian landscape.

    As the shuttle descended through the swirling ash towards the landing pad, the bio-droid moved forward, flanked by two of his MagnaGuards, while hot ash and flecks of searing lava sparked off the Separatist installation?s heat shielding that surrounded the landing bay. As Grievous stopped to stand at the entrance ramp to the landing bay, the bio-droid?s visage was bathed crimson in Mustafar?s lava glow as the arriving shuttle roared in through the heat shielding, engaged its respulsor-lift engines, landing struts extending, as the shuttle touched down upon the landing pad.

    The shuttle?s main entrance ramp cycled open, followed a moment later by six Red Guards descending the ramp, three Guards on each side, and they stopped just outside the shuttle?s ramp, forming a path that led right to General Grievous. Instantly, the bio-droid tensed, he had just received a signal from Lord Sidious that the Dark Lord himself would be arriving upon Mustafar, yet upon seeing the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic?s Red Guards, Grievous feared he was the victim of another one of General Kenobi?s traps. But the next moment, a living Shadow emerged from out of the shuttle, appearing to form out of the darkness within the shuttle itself, and moved to stand in the midst of the Red Guards, and unbidden the bio-droid dropped to his mechanical duranium knees before his Master, Darth Sidious.

    Suddenly Grievous realised the true identity of his Master - that Lord Sidious had been masquerading under the identity of Palpatine, the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic all this time. The purpose of so many orders that the bio-droid had followed over the years during the Clone Wars without comprehension of their purpose became clear, not least the recent assault upon Coruscant. However, despite Grievous? awareness of this fact, it changed nothing as far as the bio-droid?s loyalties were concerned. He had been reformed, re-created, reborn over three years ago from the broken sentient he had once been into what he was now, and he was made to be a servant and general for the Lords of the Sith, not
  11. DarthJishyWishy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2007
    star 1
    Wow Mustafar got some pretty good defenses.
    [face_chicken]
    Darth Grievious... that's bad...
    :eek:
    The tension is unbearable!!
    [face_frustrated]

    First post!!
    :D
  12. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Darth Grievous ... not good at all. Anakin'll take him, but it will take time - but time is not a commodity that the Jedi have in abundance. I like Anakin's new connection to the Jedi ... is Qui-Gon really Qui-Gon or a manifestation of the Living Force?
  13. FitJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2006
    star 4
    UGh.. what a cliffie..I am so excited to see what happens. I have a feeling that another terrific duel is going to be happening in the very near future. Absolutely amazing yet again.
  14. MoAngel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2005
    star 2
    Imagine my surprise when I just returned from 5 days away and voila, many new chapters of my favorite long starved story have instantly appeared. I am only too happy to report that it's status quo in the edge of your seat department. All I can say is welcome back and please don't forget we're hanging by a thread here waiting for more updates on the outcome of Anakin's greatest battle yet.
  15. TorontoJediMaster Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2001
    star 4
    Nice post.

    So, Grievous is now able to use the Force? I don't think that would make any big difference in the outcome. Palpatine says he's stronger than Obi-Wan. But, Anakin was far stronger than Obi-Wan on Mustafar but he still prevailed.

    BTW, I noticed that you're not using the Stover style as much anymore. Shame. I really enjoyed that. Any chance you'll pick it up again?

    Looking forward to the next post.
  16. CommanderK23 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2004
    star 3
    Well, as Anakin says: "This is where the fun begins."

    I can't wait for more!
  17. Skywalker3248 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    DarthJishyWishy ? Yep, Mustafar definitely ain?t gonna be a walk in park. Glad you liked ?Darth? Grievous, hope this next post easies the tension.

    ZebulaNebula ? certainly the addition of a Sith Grievous makes the challenge to our dynamic duo all the more difficult, and I?m glad you like Anakin?s connection to the Jedi (it?s certainly going to help). I also assumed Qui-Gon was actually Qui-Gon in the Force and not just a manifestation of the living Force.

    FitJedi ? I?m glad you liked that, hopefully you?ll like the action taking place in the next bit

    MoAngel ? Hey, glad to see you, and I?m glad these last chapters have lived up to your expectations. Hopefully you?ll enjoy the next update as much.

    TorontoJedi ? Glad you liked the post. Will Grievous using the Force make things more difficult for Obi, perhaps. He won?t be able to use it as easily to attack Grievous, or to predict his movements as easily as he did in the film or Stover novel version. And of course, it worth pointing out that Obi was beaten by Dooku both times (the second with Anakin at his side) so if Grievous possible as dangerous as Dooku, then Obi may still have the fight of his life on his hands. About the Stover style, well, I haven?t consciously departed from it, but I suppose it?s been a while since I last took the story, and the parallels between the original Stover novel and this alternate version are less. I?ll see if it?s possible to keep the style consistent.

    CommanderK23 ? Glad you liked it, hope you like the next bit.

    (Oh, the snap-jaw action comes from the beginning of Stover's novel, during the battle of Coruscant, so liked it, so had Anakin and Obi peform it again in a similar manner)

    And here?s the story.

    ---------------------------------Firestorm Arrival--------------------------

    Anakin, given over to the guidance of the Force, leap into hyperspace, the stars burned around him into lines briefly, blurring for a split second into the smoky vortex of hyperspace, until Anakin felt the faintest hint of a whisper from the Force, and engaged his? and the fleet?s reversion to real space as the stars burned into lines once more. The stars resolved themselves into the form of the red-and-black cloud enshrouded planet of Mustafar, framed by the star field around it. Ahead Anakin saw the three battle stations hanging in orbit above the planet?s northern hemisphere, covering the approach towards the Mustafar base, with swarms of droid starfighters hanging in formation around them, Anakin knew it would not be long before the droid defences detected the Republic fleet?s presence and activated their attack protocols.

    Anakin called out across his comm., ?has everyone made it through OK??

    ?Fine, well all are,? Master Yoda responded.

    ?Yes, that was a good job, Anakin,? Master Windu responded.

    ?Amazing flying, General Skywalker,? Captain Antilles called over the comm..

    ?Don?t praise him to much,? Obi-Wan joked, ?or it?ll go to his head. After all, soon he?ll think he can do anything, and I?m the one who?s going to have to be his wingman the next he tries another of his death-defying stunts.?

    ?Time for levity, we don?t have,? Yoda?s voice called. ?Ready in formation, the fleet is, commander??

    ?Yes, Master Yoda, the jammer is also working perfectly? Needa responded.

    ?We?re ready,? Master Windu responded.

    ?The hanger bay doors are open, General Windu,? Needa responded.

    ?Thank you, commander,? the Korun Master was heard to respond, and a moment later the remaining members of the Jedi squadrons dropped out from within the Star Fury?s hanger as the other Interceptors detached from their hyper-drive rings, and, as the s-foils set to attack positions, the Interceptors formed up into two tight, slightly arrowed formations signified as Blue and Gold Squadrons in from of the Republic ships, while the remnants of Red Squadron, boosted to six fighters by addition Knights, assembled behind Anakin and Obi-Wan as they disengaged from their hyper-rings a
  18. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Now that was a starfighter battle ... I almost felt I was there with your vivid descriptions of the exhilarating action. Uh Oh ... Order 66 set on repeat to start when the jamming lifts. Not good ... I hope the Jedi put an Order 86 on Palpy and Grievous before too long. Dang, Red Squadron took pretty high losses, although I'm not really surprised. Loved how Anakin blew that defense station.

    I wonder if Artoo is gonna be able to do something to stop the Sith ... if he could slice into the computers, he could de-activate Order 66 and maybe unleash a few nasty surprises too.
  19. Andjo_Bahet Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2004
    You are writing an excellent story Skywalker. I can't wait to see how it continues to play out.
  20. CommanderK23 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2004
    star 3
    ooo, it's like a friend of mine said: "Lots of shootin' and things blown up." That was an action packed chapter! What are they gonna do when they find out about Darth Droid?
  21. FitJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2006
    star 4
    Ohh very exciting indeed- I loved the action it was so gripping. I'm awaiting the dreaded duel that I know is coming. Great job.
  22. DarthJishyWishy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2007
    star 1
    I see a lot of parallels to Episode III.
    Now this scene has just GOT to be made into a movie.
    :D
    It's GOT to!!!!!!!
    [face_praying]
    Please, someone!!!!! Anyone!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  23. Skywalker3248 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    ZebulaNebula ? Glad you liked my description of starfighter battle of Mustafar, glad it seemed to come off all right. Indeed, it was an intense battle that cost Red Squadron high (lets hope their sacrifice hasn?t been in vain!). As for Artoo being of some possible help to Anakin and Obi, read on?

    Andjo_Bahet ? Glad your enjoying the story, hope you continue to enjoy it as it proceeds

    CommanderK23 ? Glad your liked that chapter and I?m glad it seemed to work all right. As for what might happen when they meant ?Darth Droid? read on?

    FitJedi ? Glad you found the action gripping, glad the chapter seems to have worked. And for more on the ?dreaded duel? (the beginning of at least) read on.

    DarthJishyWishy ? Glad you think this scene was good enough to be made into a movie, unfortunately I?ll build up my funds to develop my film crew (and their might be some copyright issues, Star Wars and their charaters belonging George Lucas and all:D )

    Anyway, here?s the story, hope you enjoy!

    ----------------------------------The Jedi Enter Mustafar---------------------------------------

    Swirling ash swept across the Mustafarian landing pad, cloaking the Chancellor?s shuttle and the two Jedi Interceptors in a brief, volcanic fog, silhouetting the crafts within. Appearing at the front of the entrance ramp to the landing pad stood the imposing figures of two MagnaGuards, their electro-staffs spitting blue energy, as they rushed, their cloaks stirring in the gale that tore through the open areas of the Separatist installation, across the entrance ramp to the landing pad. As the MagnaGuards, moving towards the Interceptors disappeared into the volcanic fog, a snap-hiss tore the air as two bars of blue-white plasma burned to life within the fog, and flashed like lighting towards the silhouetted MagnaGuards with the sound of striking energy and a clatter of sparking metal.

    The swirling ash cleared a moment later, revealing the forms of Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, the searing blue-white lighting of their lightsabers held in an angled guard before them as they stood, side by side, cloaks billowing in the Mustafar gale, above the energy-sheered wreckage of the former MagnaGuards that smoked and sparked at their feet, as the faced the enshadowed entrance into the Mustafar facility.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    With no further immediate assault apparent, Anakin looked around the landing pad, empty now apart from Obi-Wan and himself, and realised a cold shock that he had seen this place before. It had been in his dream-vision, where he had seen a possible future, and had seen on this very landing pad, a terrible, rage-filled being of the dark side killing his wife, choking the life out of her. A being that had once been himself, and as Anakin stood stock still in shock, as the powerful ray shields overhead shimmered with blue energy, easily absorbing the occasional blast of turbo-laser fire that struck it, he became aware of Obi-Wan shaking him by the arm.

    Turning towards his friend, Anakin looked into the face of the man who was closer to him that father or brother, and was to Anakin a combination of both, and more, a man he admired, and had always sought to live up to, and replied, ?Obi-Wan, I?ve seen this place before, in a dream, a vision of a possible future. I?d fallen to the dark side, I was?? Anakin paused, closing his eyes in pain against the memory, ??I was killing Padmé.?

    Gripping Anakin?s arm firmly, Obi-Wan responded, ?Anakin that was just a vision, a glimpse of a once possible future. I?ve seen you recently and whatever you saw it's helped you gain mastery over yourself, more than ever before. I know and trust you Anakin, now more than ever, and know that whatever might once possibly have happened that the dark side has no influence over your destiny anymore, it is once more your own.?

    Returning Obi-Wan?s grip, Anakin smiled, and replied, ?thank you, Master. Your still th
  24. DarthJishyWishy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2007
    star 1
    I always thought Greivious was cool, with the four lightsabers, but his only weakness against Jedi was his lack of the Force. That weakness is gone. It won't be so easy to defeat him this time.
    Again, Great action. I could really imagine it in my head. If you aren't going to make this into a movie, it's already good enough.
    =D=
  25. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Wow ... Anakin asking Obi-Wan to relay a message of love to Padme in case the worst happens was unexpected. Loved Obi-Wan's reaction to Darth Grievous. I hope his Soresu lets him keep enough of an edge to kill Grievous quickly and handle the console. That and the bio-droid can't run as far in the enclosed facility. Obi-Wan might just corner his metallic butt and kill him, especially since the original Obi VS Grievous mainly consisted of the latter running away. Anakin Vs Sidious ... let the bullet-time butt-kicking commence. If this showdown is half as good as your usual quality, it will outshine any final battle I've read(or seen) before.
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