Saga The Chosen One Rises - Alternate ROTS novel (based off the Stover novel) *Completed*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Skywalker3248, Jun 7, 2005.

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  1. FitJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2006
    star 4
    Oh you've got me on the edge of my seat Skywalker... I do hope Anakin makes it through his battle with Sids. And what about Obi-Wan having to face a stronger more powerful Grievous. Things are getting awfully hairy, I can't wait for more.
  2. TorontoJediMaster Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2001
    star 4
    Grievous is more powerful, but he's still not as powerful as Anakin...And Obi-Wan was able to defeat him.

    There's still the basic fact that the Force only interacts and responds with living tissue, and Grievous is overwhelmingly mechanical. Plus, Grievous still doesn't have the temperment to succeed against Obi-Wan. He might have Sith techniques, but he doesn't have the years of training that would season him in using those techniques.

    Overall, he will likely give Obi-Wan more trouble but I maintain the final outcome will be Obi-Wan as the victor...and Grievous (now a block of metal) as Obi-Wan's new coffee table.

    Nice touch that Anakin wanted Obi-Wan to carry a message to Padme just in case. He's really lost most of his arrogance and now realizes he could conceivably lose to Sidious.

    Can't wait for the next post.
  3. CommanderK23 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2004
    star 3
    Here we go again. [face_worried] I can't wait to see how this turns out! =D=
  4. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    Grevious is just a wannna be Vader-- Take him Obi
  5. Skywalker3248 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    DarthJishyWishy - Indeed, particular an experienced and formidable fighter like Obi-Wan with his special connection to the Force, Grievous previous lack of Force use was a real weakness. Since that isn?t there anymore, it going to make for a battle to will really test Obi. And glad you liked the action; hope you like the coming posts.

    ZebulaNebula ? Yep, though Anakin does know that Obi knows about Padme, his asking Obi to carry a message to Padme shows how serious the situation is. Glad you liked Obi facing of with Darth Grievous, and Obi will need to draw on his full mastery of Soresu to make it through this encounter, to of course he is Obi-Wan Kenobi, so I would never count him out. And there?s certainly less places for Grievous to run, if he attempts it. And for Anakin and Sidious, read on?

    FitJedi ? Glad these post have kept you on the edge of your seat, and I hope the next lot keep you there, particularly if you want to see what begins to unfold between Anakin and Sidious.

    TorontoJediMaster ? Its true that Grievous is mostly machine, though that part is specially designed against Jedi. However, it is true that in temperament and most importantly practical experience in combat through the Force, and in developing his unique relationship that could give Obi the key to victory against such a monstrosity. Glad you liked to touch of Anakin giving Obi a message to give to Padme in case he doesn?t make it.

    CommanderK23 ? Glad you liked the post, hope you like the next bit.

    Ocelotl_Nestro - I'm sure Obi's glad of your vote of cofindence. Lets hope he reduces Grievous to spare parts!

    Anyway, here it is, hope you enjoy!

    ------------------------------Battle Mediation---------------------------------------

    Deep in meditation aboard the Star Fury?s bridge, Yoda perception was stretched out through the Force towards the battle above Mustafar beyond him. As though it was happening within the ancient Jedi Master, he could sense the raging battle, turbo-laser salvos continuously ripping space between the Star Fury, Tantive IV and the battle stations, while Jedi Interceptors and droid starfighters remained generally locked in the furious hurricane of dogfights that stitched space in hot bursts of green and red spun plasma. In the Force Yoda could sense that Tantive IV had taken on serious damage, its particle ray shields failing, with extensive hull damage, its life-support and main engines were approaching critical damage, and was now falling back, to use the Star Fury for cover. Senator Mothma?s frigate had been destroyed when a suicide run by a tri-fighter led droid starfigher squadron had crashed into the frigates? shields, igniting their proton torpedoes. The frigates forward shields had flared and died, and frigate was destroyed as a barrage of turbo-laser fire caught the exposed starship, the frigate erupting in a massive expanding fireball of super-hot gas and burning shrapnel. As for the two remaining battle stations, a successful break-away assault led by Mace had combined with a focused broadside directed by Yoda from the Star Fury?s batteries, had destroyed the port battle stations? hanger bay, and damaged its ion drives, stabilisers and lower turbo-laser batteries. Unfortunately the battle station, though drifting, was using its directional thrusters to keep it remaining turbo-laser batteries directed towards the Star Fury, which still blazed forth in furious broadsides. And the second battle station had barely sustained any real damage at all, as its batteries tore space with payloads of span plasma that impacted the Star Fury?s starboard side.

    As the bridge shook, another terminal dying in a burst of smoke and sparks, Commander Needa turned to Yoda, ?Master Yoda, we?re taking on serious damage to our forward hull plating, and fires have sprung up on decks four and five, while there?s been hull breaches on decks three and six.?

    ?Fear not, Commander,? the ancient Jedi Master responded, ?insure the hull breaches, locked down there are. And dispatch
  6. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Whoa ... that was a battle and a half. I could almost see Anakin and Sidious fighting in bullet-time. Anakin blending all the forms into one amazed me ... he has become perfect. This reminds me of both The Matrix, Anakin the Younger's last stand in Star By Star, and Ganner's heroic battle in Traitor.

    Oh no ... Mon Mothma's frigate ... tell me she wasn't on it.
  7. FitJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2006
    star 4
    Absolutely Intense!! I love it, I was so sucked into it that I didn't want it to end where you left it. I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter, do hurry.
  8. Andjo_Bahet Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2004
    That was an amazing chapter Skywalker.
  9. DarthJishyWishy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2007
    star 1
    Nice description of Anakin using the Force.
    So I see the Republic is taking some serious damage.
  10. Skywalker3248 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    ZebulaNebula ? Glad you like the start of Anakin?s battle with Sidious, and his mastery and use of all the lightsaber forms thanks to his connections to other Jedi. And to set your mind at rest, Mon Mothma?s still on Coruscant, in the Senate (the last time I checked anyway)

    FitJedi ? Glad you liked that battle, and that you found it as intense as I hope it would be, and hopefully you?ll enjoy its continuation below.

    Andjo_Bahet ? Glad you liked the chapter, hope you enjoy the next bit.

    DarthJishyWishy ? Yep, Anakin?s grown allot more stronger and more skilled in the use of the Force, and for more of that, read below. And yes, we have to hope Anakin and Obi hurry to save the Republic forces.

    And here?s the story, hope you enjoy!

    -----------------------------------A Grievous Onslaught---------------------------

    The electro-drivers in Grievous? four arms, now added by dark power that the Sith creature power into them, weaved the four lightsabers he wielded into an intense torrent of blue-white and emerald green plasma that thundered around Obi-Wan, pressing him backwards through the control center under a constant flow of attacks, the arms lashed out at five attacks per second, the twenty strikes rained down against Obi-Wan in a searing weave that rent the air around him. And assault was all the more lethal, as the cold fire of the dark side flowing from the Sith bio-droids? organic parts, and took over the role of the combat algorithms in its peripheral processors to guide his electro-driven arms in a graceful flurry of slashes, chops and thrusts tearing the air attempting to rend Obi-Wan into pieces.

    The Force filling him, Obi-Wan allowed it to empower, move and direct his movements through his skills, experience and his specific mastery of Soresu, as the Force guided him to weave his saber in a intricate defensive weave of angles and curves, a searing cornea of blue-white lighting, that although it did not quite match the lighting speed of bio-droid managed nevertheless to be fast enough. Obi-Wan?s perception to the incoming attacks enhanced through Soresu allowed the blurring lighting of his lightsaber to interfere and deflect eight to twelve of Grievous strikes, using precise and minimal shifts of weight and stance as the Force guided him, to avoid the rest of the plasma storm, as it sizzled around him. Continually, as the creature of hate drove him back, Obi-Wan?s Soresu flow brought him through the bio-droid?s tornado assault as the Jedi Master gave ground before it.

    But only just.

    The rage of the dark side that Obi-Wan felt storming around and through Grievous, directed his sabers in their lighting onslaught, and it allowed the bio-droid to react to Obi-Wan defence, granting Grievous, like Obi-Wan, insight into Obi-Wan?s actions and defences, guiding the cyborg?s saber-fire against Obi-Wan?s defensive corona. The droid general?s assault began to almost breach Obi-Wan?s defences, as Grievous often predicted Obi-Wan?s defensive parries out of the multiple manoeuvres the Jedi Master could take, causing Obi-Wan to draw on the Force to push his speed and reflexes as fast as he was able to drive them, his defensive weave becoming a tornado of blue-white energy fending of the combined blue-white and emerald green lighting storm of Grievous assault. This had become much more difficult then it would have been in the bio-droids? previous incarnation, as not only did Obi-Wan have to face the rapid speed of Grievous assault combined with the precognitive guidance the dark side afforded Grievous, but Grievous was actively using the dark side surging around him to cloud Obi-Wan?s perception to the bio-droid?s onslaught.

    Now, as the creature of rage surged against him with cry of rage, redoubling its lighting assault, Obi-Wan pushed the ability of Soresu to enhance his own precognitive awareness in the Force to the Sith cyborg assault to its limit, to break through the clouding darkness Grievous cloaked himself in, just managing to deflect and sidestep the seari
  11. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Another wowser of a battle scene. Obi-Wan slowly relieving Grievous of his sabers was nice ... ooh ... he's got one now ... Grievous had better prepare to die. Obi going all Jar'Kai on his @$$ is gonna obliterate him. Loved how Anakin is forcing back The Shadow ... and wrecking the facility in the process. He better watch out for The Blast though.
  12. DarthJishyWishy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2007
    star 1
    Ha Ha
    The Jedi are OWNING the Sith (hopefully)
    :)
  13. CommanderK23 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2004
    star 3
    :eek: Wow.. wow. It's so cool to see Anakin like this... it's like he's finally merged with the Force that created him. Wow. And Obi-Wan, had a major challenge there for a little while, I'm glad that the playing field has been leveled. ;)
  14. FitJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2006
    star 4
    Pure genius yet again Skywalker, absolute intensity filling this chapter through and through. As always I am hoping for a good happy outcome. Loved this chapter and will be patiently yet anxiously awaiting more.
  15. Andjo_Bahet Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Another amazing chapter Skywalker, I can visualize the scene as if it were in the movie.
  16. Erin_21 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2005
    star 2
    Wow.... just wow!!! I love what you have done with this story!! Is been a while since I read it and now I find myself with some of your best writing!! I didn't think you could do better, but I stand corrected :).

    I love what you are doing, I can't wait to read more. Thanks for this amazing reading, be well and take care.
  17. Skywalker3248 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    ZebulaNebula ? glad you like the battles Anakin and Obi are fighting, and hopefully you?ll enjoy the ending of the match between Obi and Grievous below.

    DarthJishyWishy ? Lets hope so.

    CommanderK23 ? Indeed, now that Anakin has learned to become one with the Force is powerful indeed. To see more on him and Obi?s battle read on?

    FitJedi ? Glad you liked those chapters so much, and for more, read on below, though whether they will relieve your anxiety I?m not sure?

    Andjo ?Bahet ? Glad you liked those scenes so well, and I hope you enjoy the next as well.

    Erin_21 - I'm glad you liked to updates so much, sorry it's been a while, trying to make up for it now. And I hope you like the next bits as well.

    (The next bit with Anakin I invisioned for the start as having similarites with the Dooku duel at the beginning, but with signficant differences, as he has a different focus now)

    And here?s the story, hope you enjoy!

    -------------------------------------------A Grievous Ending------------------------

    Obi-Wan moved back before the creature of hate?s furious assault, as the bio-droid poured forth a continual searing plasma flurry that tore through the air striking at Obi-Wan, as Obi-Wan used the Force to open blast door behind him. A moment later the combatants crashed through the open blast door onto a narrow balcony beyond, a blast of hot air striking Obi-Wan?s back, as he moved into Mustafar?s ash-choked atmosphere, the Force weaving his lightsabers into a defensive cyclone of sky-blue and emerald green lighting, its subtle flow of dual angles and curves now deflecting Grievous raging attack, the Sith bio-droids? tearing assault sizzled harmlessly around him as they move further into the balcony.

    The creature of rage continued to storm against Obi-Wan?s lighting defence, their sabers clashing together in a constant searing crackle of plasma fire. Following the guidance of the Force, Obi-Wan moved backwards across the balcony deflecting Grievous furious assault, aware distantly of the erupting lake of lava far below, and of a loud rumble that he sensed was caused by a collapse in the older sections of the Separatist facility.

    As their sabers hissed and crackled over the roar of surging and erupting lava, a thought distantly crossed the back of Obi-Wan?s mind, that he was grateful now for the various duels he had fought with Assji Ventress during the Wars. Thanks to her, Obi-Wan thought with an inward ironic smile, he had had gained practical knowledge and experience in the use of dual lightsaber combat, both from combating it, and in the case of the duel he had fought with her upon Rattatak, in employing the combat style himself. As a result, in facing Grievous? furious lighting storm Obi-Wan expertly weaved both his lightsabers in their cyclone defence as he followed were the Force hinted the battle would end.

    Near the end of the balcony, Obi-Wan felt the Force nudging him to stop; that here were he stood the battle would end. The Sith Grievous pressed his assault, believing he had cornered the Jedi Master, increasing the speed of his lighting attack to hammer away at Obi-Wan?s blazing defensive corona. Suddenly, Obi-Wan sensed an incoming cut striking beneath his defence, and in response to a whisper from the Force, shifted sideways, preventing the slashing plasma from causing serious damage to his right leg and, as the flashing sky-blue lighting disintegrated through his clothing to burn a searing line across Obi-Wan?s leg, the Force caused him to drop as though faint. Grievous, his vocabulator letting forth a triumphant roar, brought both of his sabers chopping down on Obi-Wan?s apparently collapsing form, to find them blocked by the snarling sky-blue plasma of the Jedi Master?s lightsaber, as Obi-Wan converted his fainted fall into a crouch, the Force bringing his sky-blue lightsaber into a blurring overhead parry to locking with Grievous? sabers, as he twisted his crouch sideways bringing the snarling emerald green plasma in his left hand flashing in a
  18. CommanderK23 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2004
    star 3
    He decided what?! :eek: I have to know Skywalker3248! Must know... [face_praying]
  19. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Loved the way Obi-wan nailed Grievous ... he's such an inside fighter. His memory of Ventress was awesome too ... as was his remark to Grievous' severed head. Hope that him and Artoo can put an on 86 Order 66 now. Anakin forced to choose ... oh noes ... I hope he makes the right choice. I think a pre-emptive strike would be wisest here, but that's only my opinion. Darth Sidious is never unarmed ... then again, if Anakin kicks him his saber and says something like "Pick it up, turn it on die like a man" it'd rock too ...
  20. FVZA-Colonel Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 2005
    The best part about the scenes dealing with Anakin's duel with Sidious has certainly been the way in which Anakin seemingly evolves beyond being "just" a Human and "just" a Jedi Knight into a being truly As One with what he was brought out of. A very fitting ending for Grievous as well, and I am awaiting Sidious' fate.
  21. Jedi_Queen_Mx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 2003
    star 4
    *Gasp!!!*

    :eek:

    Forget the dancing!!! This story alone lives me breathless!!!

    Oohhhh, Anakin don't do it!

    [face_shame_on_you]

    You be sorry.

    [face_worried]

    But all in all, a delightful twist on The Duel of Fates and Faiths.

    ;)

    Thanks!

    [face_peace] =D=
  22. FitJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2006
    star 4
    Skywalker.. you left it there!! UGH, how absolutely cruel to leave that evil cliffie just hanging there until the next post.I do hope it's soon, I'm very anxious and hopeful that Anakin will make the right choice in the end.
  23. Skywalker3248 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    CommanderK23 ? What did Anakin decide? Hmm, well read on below to find out (hopefully it?ll surprise you)

    ZebulaNebula ? Glad you like Obi?s battle with Grievous, particularly the ending, and I?m glad you enjoyed the nod to his earlier duels with Ventress. As for his comments to Grievous, I thought that was appropriate. On the whole I don?t think Obi-Wan would crow over taking any senients? life (even one as psychotic as Grievous) with a James Bond style quip. He he?d be glad that they were gone and unable to hurt others, but slightly regret that he had to kill them to stop them. Indeed, Anakin must choice, though it may be that there is a secret option number three?

    FVZA-Colonel ? Yes, that kind of something I was going for, that as Anakin?s conflict with Sidious increases he?s becoming more a part of the Living Force, and the Chosen One while still Anakin, in a way is also something more, like the Shadow is more then just Darth Sidious, but rather the concentrated power of the dark side.

    Jedi_Queen_Mx ? Glad the story so far has managed to leave you breathless, I hope the next part manages to keep you in suspense. And I hope you enjoy what Anakin decides to do.

    FitJedi ? Sorry, that was a bit of an evil cliffie for me to pull, hopefully this will make up for it, as you find out what Anakin chooses to do.

    Next up is the story, hope you enjoy, and I hope I haven?t gone to far.

    ---------------------------------Signal Disruption---------------------------------------

    Coming in out of the ash-choked furnace of Mustafar?s atmosphere, Obi-Wan moved back into the control center?s central chamber, now looking as though a tornado had swept through it. Terminals that lined the central chamber?s walls were broken and crushed by the storm of the recent battle, their display screens shattered, emitting smoke and sparks. Throughout the room, the bodies of Red Guards and the saber-cut wreckage of MagnaGuards laid strewn throughout the central chamber, a chamber that bore the saber-cut marks of his duel with Grievous, some of which still glowed a dull yellow-red. At first Obi-Wan moved quickly, despite the temporary limp Grievous? cut had left him with, for the closed blast door at the far end of the central chamber, desperate to reach Anakin, but then the shimmering blue distortion of the ray shield guarding the communications console caught the corner of his eye. For a moment Obi-Wan stood, conflicted, as he felt an urgent need to get to Anakin, to attempt of help him in his battle with Darth Sidious, to do all he could to make sure Anakin stayed alive. However, Obi-Wan knew the hope of the Republic and the Jedi lay in stopping the complete Order 66 from being issued, it was the reason Anakin and he had assaulted this Mustafar base. As Obi-Wan remembered that Anakin himself had told him that it was up to him to insure that Order 66 was stopped, he reluctantly turned towards the communication console.

    Attempting to put thoughts of Anakin and the danger he was in from his mind, Obi-Wan began to move towards the communication console. Opening himself to the currents of the Force, Obi-Wan felt the glowing energy of the ray shield, and from there Obi-Wan followed the lines of energy that feed and sustained the ray shield to the ray shield?s emitters, and beyond. He isolated the current of power that feed the ray shield emitters, and there, Obi-Wan thought, within the wall of the central chamber of the control, not far from where Obi-Wan stood was the cable that powered the ray shield?s emitters. Obi-Wan reached through the Force to the cable, and then he clenched and pulled his hand, and the Force ripped the cable in two, which was accompanied by the sound of a loud crackle coming from within the wall. Before him the shimmering blue field of the ray shield suddenly faded and winked from existence as its shield emitter?s power was cut.

    Obi-Wan quickly turned in Artoo?s direction, the astromech droid still lying on his side on the control center floor, where he had fallen
  24. ZebulaNebula Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Whoa ... Obi-Wan and Artoo really cut that close to the wire ... the cancellation order was a smart idea. Anakin defeating Sidious reminded me of the first Matrix movie, where Neo defeated Agent Smith. I almost forgot about the whole Force-blinding technique ...
  25. CommanderK23 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 4, 2004
    star 3
    Wow, that was something. :eek: I could see it in my mind, that's how good your descriptions were. :D Wow. Obi-Wan's going to come get him now right? [face_worried]
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