Saga The Chosen One Rises - Alternate ROTS novel (based off the Stover novel) *Completed*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Skywalker3248, Jun 7, 2005.

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  1. Jedi-Master-Jurron Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 19, 2005
    star 1
    Here here!! An amazing finish I must say and I'm really looking forward to that Sequel!! You did a fantastic job many congratulations to you!
  2. ZebulaNebula Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2005
    star 5
    Wow ... talk about a whopper of an ending. So Anakin got his hand looking real again. Nice. The Seppies are suing for peace ... about time. The council seemed to really be receptive to him. Awesome ... glad they realized it's not about having attachments that puts you at risk ... just being a control freak with your loved ones(so to speak). And falling isn't absolute either ... they should know this if they remember anything about Revan and Bastila. Quin and Nejaa ... two of the coolest Jedi of the era as well as being fathers. I've got a few ideas about who or what this dark threat is ... then again I am an EU fan who mostly hangs in "Beyond". Glad the Jedi are getting back in balance ... they'll need it.

    Really looking forward to that sequel ... I'd like PM's for that too, if you don't mind. And by the way, you really oughta go pro.
  3. Teresa Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2007
    star 1
    =D= =D= =D= It has been a long and thrilling story that you've shared with the rest of us; many thanks to you!!!!!! Yoda and Anakin really laid it out for the Jedi in that last chapter, and with the support of Mace and Obi-Wan clearly showed the rest of the Council what had to be done not only for the order, but for the rest of the galaxy. I like the thought that other married Jedi will sit on the Council now and bring their perspective to the group. I just hope that Anakin has bought them enough time to prepare....sigh. Padme will make and excellent Chancellor! Ahakes head.....but she, Bail, and Mon are going to have a huge job ahead of them watching out for any sleepers that Palpy may still have hidden: as well as any future ambitious would be dictators. But at least the Republic's on firm ground now with the end of Palpy. Just out of curiosity, if Palpy had (horrors) either corrupted Anakin and/or won that last fight would the dark presense still have awakened? And if so, would Palpy have found himself totally outclassed; or had an new partner? Somehow I can't see him ever having an equal partnership with anyone....... and it's unlikely that presense would accept equals either. Methinks it would have gotten very ugly quick, fast, and in a hurry! Once again, my thanks for the skill and care you took with this story, and I look forward to the sequel! (dances) =D= =D= =D= :D
  4. Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone, I've just written a quick teaser for the sequel, see if you like it.

    Jedi-Master-Jurron ? I?m really glad you liked that story and thought it was a good end, and I hope you like this quick teaser.

    ZebulaNebula ? Glad you liked that ending, and the story. Indeed, Anakin?s hand is looking real again (kind of a symbol that the dark side has no influence over him anymore), and the remaining Separatists didn?t really have much of a choice anymore (the army gone an all), and I agree, its bring a control freak and lacking control that causes someone to fall the dark side, not attachment itself (as Jolee in KOTOR says, ?love will save you, not condemn you?). And no probs about the PMs, once the sequel starts I?ll PM you, hope you like this teaser which should answer some, though I hope all, of whether you suspicions are correct.

    Teresa ? I?m really glad you?ve enjoyed this story as it?s gone on, and Yoda, Obi and Mace support was crucial to the Jedi accepting some of the revelations Anakin brought of what they had to do to bring themselves into balance, Yoda certain has been prepared to change his views to follow the will of the Force. I and think more married Jedi will bring a greater balance to the new Council, and I think too that Padme will make a perfect Chancellor, and with Bail and Mon make the Senate what it should be. Hopefully we?ll see how this develops in the sequel. As for what had happened if first Sidious had won, well, first of all, if the shockwave had not been sent through the Force, the presence may not have been freed, secondly though he was more powerful, it may not have been enough to deal with dark being below. As for Anakin, corrupted at the very end, when he was so much more powerful, that would a different story, a true clash of the titans?Thanks for the compliments, and I hope you like this teaser to what the sequel concerns.

    Here it is, a short preview to the threat beyond the Rim.

    ---------------------In the Darkness of the Unknown Regions--------------------------------

    For a moment the massive circular focusing chamber, pitch black apart from the slight illumination provided by strange signs marking the floor and holocrons that lined parts of the wall, both of which glowed eerily with a perpetual deep bloodshine glow, and from the blue light of a holo-projection cast up by the large circular holo-emitter at the center of the focusing chamber, remained silent. The holo-emitter protected an image of an apparently lifeless world, cloaked in wreathing dark clouds that flashed with continual lighting obscuring much of its surface. Occasionally the storm clouds on the holo-projection display would open to reveal a world of sharp black granite and obsidian mountains ranges that projected from the world?s surface like a sharp rings of dark teeth, and grey desert plains that were cracked and fissured, deep gullies tearing across its surface, s deep red just visible in their depths. And slowly it became obvious, that throughout much of the surface were a series of buildings, duranium and durasteel temples, towers and vast pyramids, connected by walkways, streets across and beneath the fissures. Most of the buildings on the holo-projector appeared dead, apart from district in the northern hemisphere of the planet that was momentarily uncovered by the planet?s cloaking clouds that displayed a complex containing a particularly large pyramid with a series of surrounding temples, out of which showed active light shining forth, with a blood-red light shining for the pyramid?s top.

    At the base of the large holo-emitter, outlined in the blue and red light on of the holo-projectors? light were six skeletons, remnants of decayed Jedi robes still apparent, covering part of their forms, with lightsabers still clutched in the skeletal hands. Then, the focus the holo-projector changed, and the planet grew small and disappeared until soon a swirling galaxy came into focus, and from the edges of the darkness cloaking the room, four dark cloaked Shadows formed, moving into
  5. Teresa Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2007
    star 1
    eeeep!!!!!!! Loved the teaser!!!!!!! It looks as though the Jedi can't catch a break......they take out one dark lord and his allies/apprentices and another shows up right off the bat! Here's hoping that the Jedi and the Republic can stand fast against this new menace! ( looks worried ) Thanks for the glimpse of your new story! :D
  6. NickStarwalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2002
    star 1
    And I have a feeling that these Sith are the True Sith that Revan went to stop after the Jedi Civil War. So Revan will be mentioned in this sequel, right?
  7. Jedi_Queen_Mx Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 2003
    star 4
    One of the most sublime, engaging, breathtaking and keep-'em-on-the-edge-of-their-seats story I have ever read!!!!

    =D= =D= =D= =D= =D=

    Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

    [face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing] [face_dancing]

    Thank you so much for keeping at it and giving it your all!

    :D

    Would there be a Part 2 on the way?

    [face_praying] [face_batting] o_O

    It would be much enjoyed!

    :D

    MTFBY!

    @};-
  8. FitJedi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2006
    star 4
    First off let me say, congratulations on coming back and finishing this most wonderful fic- you should be very proud of yourself and if you do write a sequel please add me to the pm list. I hate to see this end but such a poignant ending and wonderful interlude at the end. Very well done and congrats once again.
  9. Jedi_Queen_Mx Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 2003
    star 4
    A quick idea: How about posting this story in the Archive?

    o_O
  10. Arcalian Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 3
    Yes, Palpatine and his predecessors kept the Galaxy busy. But now the Chosen One is waiting for you....

    I wonder if the Vong or Mara will show up as well....
  11. Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone

    Teresa - Glad you liked the glimpse of the menance beyond the Rim, and let's just say the Jedi are soon going to have the fight of their lives on their hands (hopefully, if it comes out right)! And I'm hopiing to begin that soon.

    NickStarwalker - Lets just say that the influence of Revan's earlier actions will be of great importantance in the coming story...[face_skull] ;)

    Jedi_Queen_Mx - I'm happy that you've liked this story so much, and I hope to bring out part two soon (just got to sort out it's framework), and I'll have to find out how you archive a story, I'm still having to find out about stuff like that :oops:

    FitJedi - Thanks allot for the compliments and I'm glad you've liked this story, particularly the ending. I had hoped that this story could work as it's own story even without the sequel. That sequel however, should be coming soon, and I'm PM you as soon as I post the first chapter :D [face_peace]

    Arcalian - Yes, the Chosen One is preparing the galaxy, but will it be in time...[face_worried] and as for Mara, mabye, I'll see...
  12. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    I liked the ending... You wrote Yoda well (some long dialogue that can be difficult)

    Please send me a PM when the new story comes
  13. satanat_solo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 12, 2005
    star 1
    Oh! it's over!! :_|

    oh well, it was good while it lasted. sighs.

    Well done Skywalker3248, i think that might well have been the best ROTS AU i have ever read. =D==D= It was beautifully written and you twisted the plot perfectly. I definitely enjoyed the ride!

    ...Meanwhile, i'd assumed it was the er, vong or some such anakin had sensed lurking out in the unknown regions .. But what's this?? ancient evil sith lords?! And what sounds like the grandaddy of them all!?!
    fabulous. :cool:

    I will await eagerly this sequel, and anything else you decide to write. :D

    ps. i agree, this is certainly worthy of the archives!!
  14. Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    Ocelotl_Nestro ? I?m glad you liked the ending, sorry that Yoda?s speeches were little hard to follow at times, I?m afraid that?s the problem with long sections of his double-speak.;)

    satanat-solo ? I?m sorry, but it is over :( . But I?m glad to hear that you?ve enjoyed the story so much, and I?m happy to hear you?ve enjoyed the twists in the plot and enjoyed the ride, cheers!

    And yes, the threat is Sith, and hopefully I should be posting a first chapter of that sequel any time now, hope you like that as well?
  15. dbelp03 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 2005
    star 1
    ok A. when you start the new one pleaseee pm and B. does this sound alittle bit like the mysterious darkness that revan went into the unknown realms to fight?...yeah i just wanted to know if thats where you got the idea
  16. Jeditheskyisblue Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    Great ending the whole story though was done wonderful thanks for sharing it with us.
  17. Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 5, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone,

    dbelp03 - Glad you liked the story, and Revan does have some connection with the mysterious darkness Anakin sensed, And I should have sent you a PM about the new story, it's already started, it's called Rise of the Sith'ari - Part 1 - Shadows of the Past

    Jeditheskyisblue - Good to see you :D ! I'm happy you enjoyed that ending, and that you liked the story overall, thanks!
  18. BattousaiCV Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 29, 2007
    star 1
    That was beautiful. I love seeing the idea entertained of Anakin reaching his full potential, be it darkside or light!

    =D= =D= =D= =D= =D= =D=
  19. Zaphod_Kenobi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2005
    star 1
    Heh. The irony. I finally give up on this story and you finish it while I'm elsewhere.

    Anyway, the final chapters I've read were WAY beyond any expectations I arrived with. There isn't anything I can say that the others haven't already said, so I'll just say...

    Fantastic!!

    Can't wait for the sequel!
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