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Oceania The Chuck Norris Awesomeness Thread

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by Saintheart, May 14, 2007.

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  1. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Here, you may recite the various impressive deeds (or facts about) the one and only master of awesomeness and roundhouse-kicks, Chuck Norris. The recitation of the deeds of Mr T, Christian Bale, or David Bowie are also of sufficient awesomeness for inclusion also. Either original acts or known acts are permitted. See here for more details.

    I'll commence proceedings.

    "There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard. There is only another fist."

  2. Shadowfire Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 1998
    star 4
    Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris.
  3. MarvinTheMartian Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 31, 2002
    star 5
  4. Kyptastic VIP

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2005
    star 5
    Kyle Katarn > Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris
  5. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Chuck Norris > Christian Bale > Kyle Katarn > Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris
  6. Aztek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 2001
    star 4
    Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.
  7. Tyi-Maet_Nefer Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2005
    star 6
    There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.
  8. MarvinTheMartian Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 31, 2002
    star 5
    Fact: Chuck Norris hates Chuck Norris "jokes"

    :p
  9. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Chuck Norris doesn't read. He simply stares until he has the information he wants.
  10. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
  11. MarvinTheMartian Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 31, 2002
    star 5
    Jack Bauer is against racism. Doesn't matter if your white, black, brown, etc. If your a bad guy he'll shoot you no matter what colour skin you have
  12. PulsarSkate Ex-Mod

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 2003
    star 7
    David Bowie created the first song.

    Everything before that was just tuning up :p
  13. Aztek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 2001
    star 4
    Chuck Norris can fold a piece of paper in half on itself more than seven times.
  14. MarvinTheMartian Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 31, 2002
    star 5
    Jack Bauer doesn't have sex. He just glances at a girl, and she climaxes.
  15. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Chuck Norris discovered Atlantis. Back when it was still a continent. He taught the Atlanteans the secrets of advanced civilisation, allowing them to create a utopian society.

    Then he roundhouse-kicked the whole thing to the ocean floor.
  16. Shadowfire Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 1998
    star 4
    Superman wears Jack Bauer underpants.
  17. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, and David Bowie walked into a bar.

    The bar then exploded, as no single point in the universe can withstand that level of awesomeness.
  18. MarvinTheMartian Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 31, 2002
    star 5
    Jack Bauer caught a bus. Then threw it right back at a guy.
  19. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He does push-downs. When he pushes, the Earth moves, not him.
  20. Tyi-Maet_Nefer Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 17, 2005
    star 6
    =D=
  21. Aztek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 2001
    star 4

    The Stig > Chuck Norris > Jack Bauer

    !!
  22. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Chuck Norris IS what Willis is talkin' about.
  23. Rebel_Padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2003
    star 4
    Some kids pee their name into snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.


    Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.


    Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.


  24. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
  25. Saintheart Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2000
    star 6
    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
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