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Oceania The Chuck Norris Awesomeness Thread

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by Saintheart, May 14, 2007.

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  1. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Here, you may recite the various impressive deeds (or facts about) the one and only master of awesomeness and roundhouse-kicks, Chuck Norris. The recitation of the deeds of Mr T, Christian Bale, or David Bowie are also of sufficient awesomeness for inclusion also. Either original acts or known acts are permitted. See [link=http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com]here[/link] for more details.

    I'll commence proceedings.

    "There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard. There is only another fist."

     
  2. Shadowfire

    Shadowfire Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 1998
    Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris.
     
  3. MarvinTheMartian

    MarvinTheMartian Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
  4. Kyptastic

    Kyptastic VIP star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    Kyle Katarn > Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris
     
  5. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Chuck Norris > Christian Bale > Kyle Katarn > Jack Bauer > Chuck Norris
     
  6. Aztek

    Aztek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 12, 2001
    Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.
     
  7. Tyi-Maet_Nefer

    Tyi-Maet_Nefer Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 17, 2005
    There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.
     
  8. MarvinTheMartian

    MarvinTheMartian Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    Fact: Chuck Norris hates Chuck Norris "jokes"

    :p
     
  9. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Chuck Norris doesn't read. He simply stares until he has the information he wants.
     
  10. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
     
  11. MarvinTheMartian

    MarvinTheMartian Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    Jack Bauer is against racism. Doesn't matter if your white, black, brown, etc. If your a bad guy he'll shoot you no matter what colour skin you have
     
  12. PulsarSkate

    PulsarSkate Ex-Mod star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2003
    David Bowie created the first song.

    Everything before that was just tuning up :p
     
  13. Aztek

    Aztek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 12, 2001
    Chuck Norris can fold a piece of paper in half on itself more than seven times.
     
  14. MarvinTheMartian

    MarvinTheMartian Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    Jack Bauer doesn't have sex. He just glances at a girl, and she climaxes.
     
  15. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Chuck Norris discovered Atlantis. Back when it was still a continent. He taught the Atlanteans the secrets of advanced civilisation, allowing them to create a utopian society.

    Then he roundhouse-kicked the whole thing to the ocean floor.
     
  16. Shadowfire

    Shadowfire Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 1998
    Superman wears Jack Bauer underpants.
     
  17. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, and David Bowie walked into a bar.

    The bar then exploded, as no single point in the universe can withstand that level of awesomeness.
     
  18. MarvinTheMartian

    MarvinTheMartian Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    Jack Bauer caught a bus. Then threw it right back at a guy.
     
  19. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He does push-downs. When he pushes, the Earth moves, not him.
     
  20. Tyi-Maet_Nefer

    Tyi-Maet_Nefer Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 17, 2005
    =D=
     
  21. Aztek

    Aztek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 12, 2001

    The Stig > Chuck Norris > Jack Bauer

    !!
     
  22. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Chuck Norris IS what Willis is talkin' about.
     
  23. Rebel_Padawan

    Rebel_Padawan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 11, 2003
    Some kids pee their name into snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.


    Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.


    Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.


     
  24. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
     
  25. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
     
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