The Church of Kyle

i found this. are any of you responsible? if so, i thank you.

http://darkforces.jediknight.net/index2.shtml

(i really hope they include the chained ewok. and if they do, add kyle saying "what the hell is that thing?"... since the mission happened before endor)

 

Wait....I'm Primary Aide? Why didn't I know about this...

Anyways, I'd be willing to take Wiggins place but I'm not too familiar with the Senate, frankly.

 

I asked you to be the aide a few months ago, you consented.

Anyway, I'm just checking in. Life's too busy for me to return any time soon, so have fun.

Evil.

 

SWEET!

 

I just thought of something. With TFU having different skins for the SA, how awesome would it be if Kyle Katarn was an unlockable skin? Not to say anyone can lock Kyle, but you get my drift.

 

Bows and prays in front of the awesome might of Katarn....




I pledge myself to your service

 

i know!

 

p.s. i hope they are using Natt Surman's remake of level 1 as a map for um...er level 1...

http://www.massassi.net/levels/files/1900.shtml

 

Not-Very Important Notice
*Ahem*

Please note that, from this day forth, all "Kyle Katarn Facts" are to be posted here, in the Church of Kyle.

I will, possibly, get around to collecting all of the previously posted ones together at some point and making a big post where we can marvel at them. That will take a while, however.

Get Facting!

 

What is the meaning of this? Is someone trying to provoke the End of Days? IS KYLE KATARN GONNA HAFTA CHOKE A SCHUTTA?!?!?!

also...Unlike a Ninja, Kyle Katarn can catch you if you're on fire.

 

I meant Matt Surman.

 

while time-travelling to ancient Greece, Kyle Katarn passed by Thebes and met the Sphinx.

The Sphinx asked Kyle:

"Which creature in the morning goes on four feet, at noon on two, and in the evening upon three?"

Kyle shot her in the head. Kyle hates karking riddles.

 

Fact: "Kyle Katarn is like the Ring. Once you see him you are already dead."

 

Hey guys! Your High Prophet only just noticed that the tread had been moved here. Talk about embarresment. I hope Kyle, in his finite mercy, will see fit to spare his humble accolyte. If not, I've commisioned a garrison of Stormtroopers to distract him whilst I make my (futile) escape.

Mace Windu once had a head full of hair and a beard the match of Oppo Rancisiss's. One day he recieved a vision of the coming of Kyle. After that he shaved all the hair off of his face, realizing that he could never come near the magnificicence of Kyle's beard.

 

Cthulhu is not actually just sleeping until the "stars are right", he's really hiding from Kyle Katarn

 

Kyle has two ways of entering a room. Kicking down the door and killing everything inside, or else standing and waiting for the room to come to him. And it will.

 

Kyle scared the Force out of the Yuuzhan Vong.

 

Bumping with a new exploit of Kyle's. This one takes place in the Yuuzhan Vong War.

I also managed to ask a few questions regarding precise timeline placement to Sterling Hershey, the scenario's author. Here's my rambling and his answer.

And his response.

 

At the end of KotOR you don't find out that you are Darth Revan

You find out Kyle Katarn is Darth Revan

 

Mars is red because Kyle made it bleed.

 

Anakin was trained by Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was trained by Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon was trained by Dooku. Dooku was trained by Yoda. Yoda was trained by Kyle Katarn.

 

All your base are belong to Kyle Katarn.

 

*thumps fist against chest*

My People...My People. I have found you.

*bows in humility*

May I join "The Holy Church."

Blood runs red, because on the day of galactic creation Kyle said, "Let the blood run red that I shall shed."

And he liked it that way.

Am I in now?

 

what the hell is this and what have you done with the Blue Moon Cantina???

 

So since I accidentally posted in Literature, I will post my fact here, instead:

Kyle Katarn once used the force to travel back in time. While there he created a super-powered, highly dangerous race of warriors. After he used the force to return to his own time, the Old Republic decided to shorten the name of the race. Nobody wanted to constantly cry out, "OH SITH! We're being attacked by the KylekatarnisthefrackingMan-dalorians!"