The Church of Kyle

Kyle Katarn can slam blast doors shut.

 

I have little doubt that Kyle Katarn shall support the EUC Sith Empire.

[image=http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/7/76/EmperorKatarn.jpg]

 

I have no doubt you are on some sort of hallucinogen. Kyle Katarn's true nature has always been to fight for good.
[image=http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/b/ba/Katarn_preparing_to_Battle_Jerec.JPG]

- Keralys

 

Actually, Keralys is right. Kyle is a Jedi all the way.

 

Kyle kills Sith.

By the hundreds.

With nothing but a carpet sample.

 

Exactly

 

It's true that Kyle Katarn can not walk on water.

However, he has been know to stomp a mudhole in a lake, and walk that son of a murglak dry.

 

Actually, once the reflection of Kyle's beard plays on the water, the lake has no choice but to relocate. This has already happened five times, and they are now called the Great Lakes, because they met Kyle.

 

if kyle decided to wear the HAT! the galaxy whould bow before him

 

If Kyle were to the fall to the dark side...nobody would ever know. Because whatever side Kyle is on is the Light side.

 

Ahsoka Tano didn't survive into Revenge of the Sith because she thought up a nickname for Kyle Katarn.

 

@ Uli

 

I pray this not be interpreted as Jerecy, but I wish to go forth to spread the word of The Bearded One to those who still live in darkness. To better reflect the glory that is He, that would include dressing in like manner. Is there any among the Faithful that might aid in my sacred quest?

 

lol.

 

There is no theory of evolution in the Star Wars universe.

There's only a list of the races Kyle hasn't got around to killing yet.

 

Haha, nice...

 

lol. I love this place.

 

Hi there

Just wondering if you all had a current Senator? If not, would you like to elect one for representation in the Senate?

Please PM or post the info.


Oh and.... You can't make a 'Yo Mama' joke to Kyle Katarn. He doesn't have a mother. Not because he didn't want one, but because he didn't need one.

How'd I do?

CJM
Minister of Intelligence

 

Kyle Katarn during his days as a Rebel agent once found himself in an Imperial ambush, alone, surrounded by a legion of stormtroopers numbering in the hundreds, maybe thousands. At first he was fearful for his life, but then he quickly realized, "Wait a minute, I'm Kyle ****ing Katarn!" There were no survivors. Except Kyle Katarn.

When the cloned Emperor was defeated at last, his final attack was his attempt to invade the body of infant Anakin Solo. Kyle Katarn showed up and threatened to possess the Emperor. Palpatine wisely chose to suffer eternally in Chaos rather than endure this.

Many tales speak of the horrifying destruction caused by the Sun Crusher. Such tales are, of course, apocryphal, for there never was such a thing as a Sun Crusher. That was just Kyle Katarn getting angry.

Oh, and Alderaan? That was because Kyle Katarn sneezed.

Ysalamiri don't blunt Kyle Katarn's Force power. They sharpen it.

Many unenlightened beings view Kyle Katarn's duel with Darth Caedus as a loss because the Sith Lord impaled him with his lightsaber. In reality, Kyle Katarn had allowed it to happen, for no reason other than to show the galaxy that he could take a lightsaber clear through a lung, after having his back smashed by a Force-propelled vehicle, and--just for kicks--while picking up an infectious disease. AND STILL LIVED ANYWAY. Later, for revenge, Kyle Katarn went to Mandalore, killed Boba Fett with a Bryar pistol shot to his visor, put on his armor, and trained Jaina Solo to kill Darth Caedus.

 

JAN! MEET ME AT THE TOP! I'VE GOT TO GET THAT DISK!

 

The last level of the game Jedi Knight is only a tame recollection of the actual fight between Jerec and the Great One. When Jerec began to pull the statues closer, hoping to block off Kyle, Kyle did not run around pushing switches like some sortof switch-pusher! Kyle used the force to hold the statues at bay, force-jumped up to Jerec and slowly shook his head. Jerec fell to his knees in defeat.


((On a slightly different note: Is there a canonical reason for why the Boc fight and the JErec fight have such different terrain despite ostensibly being in the same room?

 

When Kyle Katarn looks in the mirror, nothing appears. There can never be a second Kyle Katarn.

I was looking for this thread the other day!

Evil.

 

Glad to see this thread bumped back up. It gives me many laughs.

 

Even after Darth Bane instituted the Rule of Two, Kyle Katarn killed three Sith in less than a second.

 

Kyle Katarn doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square

On an Imperial Academy math test, Kyle Katarn put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Kyle Katarn solves all his problems with Violence.

Evil.